Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Oh Long Johnson]

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Got some mail from the IRS?

 

[FAQnews Correspondent]

Oh lovely. Now I can picture him saying "Itsa Mario!" while he's plowing into Blobbo. With him biting the pillow and with tears in his eyes. And a smile.

Mario would never go near Bob.

 

[Tronathon242]

Question does Bob know Mario is just a fictional character or does he think he is a real person? I honeslty can't tell

That probably depends on his BAC at any given moment.

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Got some mail from the IRS?

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Let me guess: his wife isn't impressed with his guzzling $14 craft beers and flogging his worthless podcast when he could be working overtime to fix the gaping hole in the budget left when he tried and failed to get one over on the IRS? I mean, a sizable percentage of all marriages do break up over money, after all, and he's been broadcasting their household's financial problems to the uncaring world.

Maybe we had it wrong all along. Perhaps it is Chris who will join Bob in his hovel and not the other way around.

 

[Koby_Fish]

Okay, what the fuck is that even supposed to be? Nothing like a toast, rice, and pound of watery ground beef sandwich, all seasoned with absolutely nothing.

Don't cook your ground beef in a high sided pan, you are just going to end up not evaporating any liquid and boiling it.

taking everything on the stove into account, it looks like maybe he's making a version of sloppy joes, but with tomatoey rice instead of beans. And it looks like it's meant to go on the bread he's toasting in a frying pan for some reason instead of in, you know, a fucking toaster. That's what I'm able to grok from those collective ingredients. I could be wrong, but the bread in the frying pan doesn't make sense otherwise, unless he's making Hobo Savory French Toast or whatever the fuck else you can do with bread toasted in a fucking frying pan. Chris, put bread in toaster, put the ground beef in the frying pan, and you use 1 less pot.

 

[Bland Crumbs]

Got some mail from the IRS?

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I only check in from time to time what did this...is that fucking blue moon...swigging tub try to pull on the IRS?

 

[Mola Ram]

taking everything on the stove into account, it looks like maybe he's making a version of sloppy joes, but with tomatoey rice instead of beans. And it looks like it's meant to go on the bread he's toasting in a frying pan for some reason instead of in, you know, a fucking toaster. That's what I'm able to grok from those collective ingredients. I could be wrong, but the bread in the frying pan doesn't make sense otherwise, unless he's making Hobo Savory French Toast or whatever the fuck else you can do with bread toasted in a fucking frying pan. Chris, put bread in toaster, put the ground beef in the frying pan, and you use 1 less pot.

You can make fantastic grilled cheese sandwiches by toasting the bread in a frying pan...but you're frying the bread in butter if you're doing that.

Just another healthy mealtime Chez Chipman!

 

[Koby_Fish]

I only check in from time to time what did this...is that fucking blue moon...swigging tub try to pull on the IRS?

I'm guessing he tried writing off shit he couldn't actually claim for tax credits and shit and the IRS was just not having it. So now he actually owes taxes, which he can't pay right now because of all those fucking stupidly overpriced renovations.

If you have to sell house to pay IRS, you know you fucked up. [/Uncle Roger]


Oh well, at least it's so much less disgusting than before that he'll probably get a half-decent price for it. Maybe Bob's upstairs neighbors are moving out?

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

I'm guessing he tried writing off shit he couldn't actually claim for tax credits and shit and the IRS was just not having it. So now he actually owes taxes, which he can't pay right now because of all those fucking stupidly overpriced renovations.

If you have to sell house to pay IRS, you know you fucked up. [/Uncle Roger]


Oh well, at least it's so much less disgusting than before that he'll probably get a half-decent price for it. Maybe Bob's upstairs neighbors are moving out?

If Chris was willing to move to Mayo-Ghoul Land, he could probably afford a decent size house in a good neighborhood and have enough leftover to send his kids to college. That's how overpriced houses in the Boston area are now.

 

[Positron]

Content-free political posts:




Glenn Greenwald has another bomb to drop on liberal journos.
Bobby: Evil targets deserve evil tactics.


Imposing mask mandates in Government facilities will soon be illegal in Texas:




+ + + +
Shrek. Someone isn't aware that the whole point of Bobby's life is to make up stories just to get himself angrier.

Are we Kiwis supposed to be ashamed that an Assigned Cretin At Birth concurs with us?

Bobby hates Shrek because it shattered his world view that he'd have a chance with Lindsay:


Bobby is not mad at Shrek; you are!

Apparently dropping references to Disney and modern entertainment is a bad thing, yet Whedonspeak makes you a modern-day Sophocles?


WTF is he trying to say here? Can someone rescue my non-Properly Evolved brain?
(He reposts this "Cow Tools" drawing in reply to several other tweets. Bob big mad.)



+ + + +
MCU apologetics. Bobby probably has a point.


Liam Neeson stars in a movie about rescuing miners. Rescuing MINERS! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? CAN YOU BELIEVE SOMEONE CARE ABOUT THESE ENVIRONMENT-RAPING GHOULS!
Strangely Bobby isn't outraged.


Elon Musk bad, ergo owners of electric cars bad. So much for caring about the environment.


Bobby shares tips on... beekeeping!


Bobby's Angels:


Chris's Mortals:

 

[Quixotic Man]

Chris... Chris had a hard week.

 

[Red Hood]

Chris... Chris had a hard week.

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It's a beautiful day in Biden's America.

 

[Adamska]

Chris... Chris had a hard week.

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Someone's mad he has to pick his daughter's medicine over his alcohol due to his own decision to try and lie to the IRS.

 

[Mr Snek]

Bobby hates Shrek because it shattered his world view that he'd have a chance with Lindsay:
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You know, despite Bob insisting it isn't the case, I'm sure he's convince that the deeper meaning behind Shrek is that ugly people should only marry other ugly people. I'm picturing a 20 year old Bob watching Shrek and being mad that Shrek didn't marry human Fiona.

 

[maguyver16]

SNL peaked with Norm Macdonald.

All downhill from there.

Funnily enough it's not even his best work...

Or so the Germans would have us believe...

 

[Vida]

Posting some classic Bob shiling his book

 

[King Dead]

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WTF is he trying to say here? Can someone rescue my non-Properly Evolved brain?
(He reposts this "Cow Tools" drawing in reply to several other tweets. Bob big mad.)

"Cow Tools" is, by Gary Larson's own admission, the least-understood Far Side comic he ever drew (I have the complete Far Side collection and he devotes a fair amount of the page this comic is on to talking about it). The joke was "if a cow made tools, they'd be really shitty tools, because cows are dumb and don't have hands." That's all there was to it, but a lot of people puzzled over what the joke was and tried to figure out if there was some deeper joke that they just weren't seeing. In reality, it was just a gag that didn't really land all that well; it wasn't that it was brilliant and you just didn't get it, it was that it was so simple you just didn't get it.

In attempting to claim that his stupid Shrek takes are his version of "Cow Tools," Bob is inadvertently admitting his "jokes" are really fucking stupid. Bravo, Robert.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

I only check in from time to time what did this...is that fucking blue moon...swigging tub try to pull on the IRS?

He probably claimed his renovations and a bunch of other stuff as ”business expenses” for the podcast, and then got told to fuck off by the IRS.

Please, please get rid of Collins.

The less people in the Senate who can enshrine Roe or otherwise sell us out, the better. This may amaze you, but you acting like getting Collins to go is a good thing is on the level of going up to a guy in the DSA, Sunrise or whatever, explaining to him how you've come up with something that will get Manchin to leave the Senate, and being surprised when he's not sad.

Wonderful. The issue is that there are lots of people who view you as a bad person.

I doubt this actually means anything because we haven't got any evidence that aliens exist so I don't know why we're claiming that they have spacecraft that are better than ours.

Chris's Mortals:

The way pro-abortionists act like mobs of pro-lifers are marching down the street trying to rip random women's uteruses out will never stop being funny to me.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

You know, despite Bob insisting it isn't the case, I'm sure he's convince that the deeper meaning behind Shrek is that ugly people should only marry other ugly people. I'm picturing a 20 year old Bob watching Shrek and being mad that Shrek didn't marry human Fiona.

You know if Bob is implying that beautiful people are the only ones that should marry why should a beautiful woman bother with him by his own logic.

 

[Benisbro]

Goddamn he really thinks the point of Shrek, besides funny potshots at then declining-but-still-massive Disney movies, was “ugly people should marry other ugly people”.
Doesn’t he claim to analyze film for a living? I guess he related to the ogre but instead of seeing the blatantly kiddie-obvious messages of self-acceptance (which polished ‘traditionally beautiful’ Disney protagonists still can’t relatably portray for most people) he took it as “don’t punch above your fucking weight class, obese mayoghoul”. Ironic yet not surprising.

And he revisited the Shrek tweet because he couldn’t stand being BTFO on twitter, complete with a “crying laughing” emoji to poorly disguise his bitterness.

Happy belated 40th birthday, virgin

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Bob’s hot takes on Discovery merging with Warner Bros.
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Someone tell him AT&T is an ISP. Wonder how he'd feel knowing they're wasting money buying up entertainment companies instead of upgrading aging infrastructure, bringing broadband to areas lacking it, actually giving advertised speeds.

Oh, right. Wasteland mayo ghouls or something.