Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Isn't the point of a superhero movie to inspire others to push beyond their limits, to show what can be done even against all odds? How is getting up in the morning a monumental display of self-sacrifice? That's the bare minimum to prove you're not a worthless pimple on the ass of society. When I think of monumental self-sacrifice, I think of the train scene in Spiderman 2, not Bob managing to deag his lazy ass out of his fart sack to tweet his arrogance, genocidal delusions, and perverted thirst out to the world. Anyone with a functioning brain can see that Bob is projecting, but the sheer scale of it is monumental when you think about it further: he's thinking that he's doing the world a service, sacrificing his comfort so he can deliver videos to them. He thinks he's like the superheroes of the MCU on some level.

Boseman definitely had a brighter future that cancer stole from him, but he still persevered through every role until he passed. The worst thing about him isn't even him, but the legion of psychopaths that attached a deranged supremacist ideology around his capeshit contributions and (like Bob) wished death on another great actor because they won an award over him. The guy deserved a better fate and a better class of fan.
Honestly, I'd say the point of a superhero movie is to make a film where some cool stuff happens, simple enough for children to follow and cram a wholesome moral/message in there somewhere near the end of it. Now that I've thought about that question, I understand completely why Robert is so fucking horny for the things
 
Idk about this stuff because I'm a functioning adult, so maybe out of the loop or something, but didn't the MCU make a ton of money and then pretty much sink without leaving a cultural trace? Extremely online blue checkmarks consooming random spin offs on boutique streaming channels doesn't count.
looks like Covid only gave the world a year or two of peace, because Phase Four (no that doesn't sound ominous at all) is coming:
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I guess Phase Five is when they turn the X-Men into quip factories.
 
Idk about this stuff because I'm a functioning adult, so maybe out of the loop or something, but didn't the MCU make a ton of money and then pretty much sink without leaving a cultural trace? Extremely online blue checkmarks consooming random spin offs on boutique streaming channels doesn't count.

Apart from a few memes, and some increasingly hazy memories of seeing THOR VIII: IT'S HAMMER TIME (or was it DR STRANGE VERSUS THE CHIROPRACTIC WEIRDO?) what's the real world legacy of the MCU to normal people with lives? It was a popular theme at kids parties for a while, but that's died off. Compare to the impact the original and good versions of Star Wars and Star Track left on popular culture: everybody knows "use the force", the Imperial March, "I am your father", "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a X", etc. Luke, Han, Leia, Chewie, Kirk and Spock are still famous and beloved characters. Politicians would quote them, commercials would parody them, NASA named a shuttle after the Enterprise. It was part of mainstream vocabulary long after those properties left the movie theater/original TV run.

Do you see any of that happening with Ant Man or Iron Man? I don't. Even THE MATRIX (1999) still has more cultural cachet than Endgame (2019). See also: ALIENS (1986), TERMINATOR 2 (1991), and plenty of other crowdpleasers that left an impression on the audience longer than it takes to find your car after the credits roll.

Not the first time that's happened either. AVATAR grossed a billion dollars 10 years ago and nobody remembers it now. Something about blue furries? Couldn't name any of the characters or tell you a single line of dialog from that movie even though it was spunking 16.7 million color CGI into everyone's eyeballs in full 3D and broke all box office records in history. (TITANIC, Cameron's previous and less dumb blockbuster, is still something people recognize)

But why? I'm not a film snob and it's silly to pretend ROTJ was a cinematic masterpiece (people were already getting tired of Star Wars in 83) or that the one where Spock saves the whales is Citizen Kane. But the older movies tend to have more going for them than 45 minutes of computer generated punching and every solemn character moment immediately being undercut by a snarky quip.

So Bob, being Bob, got this completely wrong again and Martin Scorsese was right. Capeshit isn't a religion, or modern mythology, and they're barely even movies. They're theme park rides, people enjoy them briefly and then never give them a second thought.

Unless they're horrifically obese 40 year old manchildren who are too fat to fit on theme park rides, and need to use some kind of homemade periscope to see their own penis.
I mean I disagree since it's too early to tell how much of a cultural significance the MCU has had but it still has contributed to our culture as it made Superheroes more maintstream than ever and has influenced other studios in starting a connective universe over a series of movies. It even made having post-credits scene a mainstream thing that people have to wonder if each new movie has one. The MCU is impactful in terms of movies and superheroes overall and has made superhero properties more socially acceptable compared to when it was a niche genre. There were even some quotes that people still spout out to this day.

However despite that. The MCU is not as culturally significant beyond that yet Bob acts like the MCU is enough to replace fucking Greek mythology or on par with religious works of art. Bob's MCU takes are bad because he elevates it beyond a cultural standard of where it's at. Bob is only half right that the MCU has a cultural impact but he is dead wrong on how deep it is. His elevation is like saying that Star Wars has created a brand new alternative for religion or philosophy when it's only impact was on film.
 
No Bad Tactics. Bobby advocates using force and bribe to crush the Red States:
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Eugenics Bob strikes again!

All before claiming anyone who says he supports eugenics and genocide is evil trolls trying to destroy his "good name" with a greasy shit eating grin.
Then with a twitch of his nose and a jiggle of his belly he rolls back downstairs into his safe basement den to watch endgame and fantasizing about Thanos snapping away everyone not living in a coastal city.
 
Bob inadvertently makes the case for both the filibuster and electoral college as his obsession with wielding political power as cudgel against those he hates demonstrates the need for check and balance. I will give Joe Manchin credit for one thing: he is smart enough to see where the wind is blowing.

And yes, I would say it's time to put "Garbage America" in its proper place or perhaps I should refer to it by its proper names: Lynn and Revere, MA.
However despite that. The MCU is not as culturally significant beyond that yet Bob acts like the MCU is enough to replace fucking Greek mythology or on par with religious works of art.
It's only my opinion but I would say that 1978's Superman was the closest to achieve that as the biblical tales of Moses and Samson greatly influenced the character. I hesitate to add in Jesus because Siegel and Shuster were two Jewish boys from Cleveland.
 
If these people think you need to act like the guys at that infamous DSA meeting to be a proper leftist, wait until they find out how homosexuality and abortion were treated in Communist Romania.
Ironically enough, Ceauseascu's Romania was far closer to The Handmaid's Tale than Pmurt ever got. Ceauseascu wanted a strong Romania and so encouraged women to have babies to help build up a large workforce. In order to do this he banned abortion and contraceptives, and gave women financial rewards for having kids.
> fascist teens

Please point me to a single fascist youth organisation in the US that isn't a complete joke. Because I can point you to quite a few leftist ones that definitely aren't.
 
Oh holy fuck this makes me actually MATI. The Franchise hasnt been an action comedy since like 1987. The first death of Krillin really kind of nails in that Dragon Ball is a soap opera for little boys. And I have no goddamn idea what that Japanese Cultural Idiosyncracies fucking means. Like even the actual definition. Its gibberish. But even in terms of Dragon Ball it makes no sense.

Unless if he means that Goku is a weirdo. Thats also not the focus of the series. Never really had been even. Holy shit guys. Bob just cannot let go. Mario is from Brooklyn and Dragon Ball hasnt moved on since the Tenkaichi.
 
As a geek who used to do that shit in middle school, I know I can only power level for myself. But in my case, it was the only way to fight back. You grow up in this culture that does nothing but force you to repress your urges (not CONTROL, REPRESS) from Day 1 so naturally people are going to get it out some other way. You tend to grow out of it as you start to learn how to control your impulses and get over yourself, but I don't think these terminally online motherfuckers do that.

They think things will fulfill them like you said. True fulfillment comes from within, and you're completely responsible for it. Sure, every emotion has been turned into a commodity these days, but those commodities don't make you feel anything.

People want fantasy because they think their problems will be solved. Never mind there's only one Mario, and in all likelihood if we lived in the Mushroom Kingdom we'd all be Toads or Koopas. I'd love ot see some of these faggots plinked down in the fantasy world of their choice as a peasant.

This is why I love Kenshi. It's an accurate depiction of what would happen to most of these types if they got their asses Isekai'd. Your stats suck, you can barely run or fight or carry shit. You're more likely to end up beaten to death by guys that want your food, or to enslave you. And you have to work hard, damn hard, to get past that.

To quote the game itself: "You're not the Chosen One. You're not the center of the universe. You are nothing special. Unless you work at it." I leave it to the Peanut Gallery to determine where Bob would end up as.
 
Isn't the point of a superhero movie to inspire others to push beyond their limits, to show what can be done even against all odds? How is getting up in the morning a monumental display of self-sacrifice? That's the bare minimum to prove you're not a worthless pimple on the ass of society. When I think of monumental self-sacrifice, I think of the train scene in Spiderman 2, not Bob managing to deag his lazy ass out of his fart sack to tweet his arrogance, genocidal delusions, and perverted thirst out to the world. Anyone with a functioning brain can see that Bob is projecting, but the sheer scale of it is monumental when you think about it further: he's thinking that he's doing the world a service, sacrificing his comfort so he can deliver videos to them. He thinks he's like the superheroes of the MCU on some level.
That was original idea. Heroes in general used to be about inspiring people to accomplish great things themselves. But in today’s world, you have people like Bob who are egotistical and superficial and don’t care about bettering themselves.

When they look at capeshit or Disney shit, all they care is the flashy stuff. They want to be heroes for the sake of recognition. All they want is power, money, fame and sex/romance.

That’s all they care about.

You know, I wouldn’t care as much if these people weren’t so pushy and they didn’t act like assholes.


So Bob, being Bob, got this completely wrong again and Martin Scorsese was right. Capeshit isn't a religion, or modern mythology, and they're barely even movies. They're theme park rides, people enjoy them briefly and then never give them a second thought.
Exactly.

I loved capeshit as kid, and it still holds a place in my heart. But at the end of the day, it’s just entertainment. It’s not more valuable than life.
There's a reason I call Disney, Marvel, and Nintendo his psychological pins, because such a failed specimen has to vicariously succeed and fail through them. That's why he tards out in drunken rants when they eat shit or people mock them, because that's him and he's them.
You know, why is it always nerdy/dorky failures that gotta live their lives through fiction? Cartoon characters, anime characters, video game characters, etc.

I mean, I do know why they do it, I don’t get why they keep doing it. Wouldn’t it be more fulfilling to be your own character instead living through a fake one?
Oh holy fuck this makes me actually MATI. The Franchise hasnt been an action comedy since like 1987. The first death of Krillin really kind of nails in that Dragon Ball is a soap opera for little boys. And I have no goddamn idea what that Japanese Cultural Idiosyncracies fucking means. Like even the actual definition. Its gibberish. But even in terms of Dragon Ball it makes no sense.

Unless if he means that Goku is a weirdo. Thats also not the focus of the series. Never really had been even. Holy shit guys. Bob just cannot let go. Mario is from Brooklyn and Dragon Ball hasnt moved on since the Tenkaichi.
Idiosyncrasies means a person of peculiar behavior, or in other words; a freak, a fetish, an oddity, etc.

So yeah, he is kind of calling Goku a weirdo.

And I agree with your statement. I don’t even like Dragon Ball or Goku anymore but I definitely agree with you on Bob’s BS.
To quote the game itself: "You're not the Chosen One. You're not the center of the universe. You are nothing special. Unless you work at it." I leave it to the Peanut Gallery to determine where Bob would end up as.
I never heard of this game but I love this quote. I definitely agree with this.
 
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Bob probably likes Batman and Robin just to be a contrarian and spite the "grimdark bros". I bet Bob hated that movie like most people up until a few years ago.
He likes it because it embraces/embodies the campy 60s TV Batman, which he loves because it spites the grimdark bro fans of later Batman.
I think he always loved it, but now even more so.
 
Oh holy fuck this makes me actually MATI. The Franchise hasnt been an action comedy since like 1987. The first death of Krillin really kind of nails in that Dragon Ball is a soap opera for little boys. And I have no goddamn idea what that Japanese Cultural Idiosyncracies fucking means. Like even the actual definition. Its gibberish. But even in terms of Dragon Ball it makes no sense.

Unless if he means that Goku is a weirdo. Thats also not the focus of the series. Never really had been even. Holy shit guys. Bob just cannot let go. Mario is from Brooklyn and Dragon Ball hasnt moved on since the Tenkaichi.
I don't think he even watched original DB, because he used to scoff at the idea of making that a movie and was insistent Hollywood should just jump straight to Z. As in the one he thinks of as a superhero series (not kidding)
He likes it because it embraces/embodies the campy 60s TV Batman, which he loves because it spites the grimdark bro fans of later Batman.
I think he always loved it, but now even more so.
It might be the other way around. He's always loved superheroes being bright and colorful, part of the reason he prefers Sam Raimis Spiderman. So the Schumacher Batmans were his favorite as a teen and he likes to use Adam West as an excuse for why they're better.
 
looks like Covid only gave the world a year or two of peace, because Phase Four (no that doesn't sound ominous at all) is coming:
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I guess Phase Five is when they turn the X-Men into quip factories.
I still have this part of my brain that either made this up or heard this somewhere, where the planned Stage 5 cancer, I mean MCU, is where it turns into a big slap fight between Charles and Erik over Franklin Richards, who is clearly not Richard's child. Like, they have a bootleg Namor in the style of Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, he's a kang, and he cucks Reed.

And the X-men movies to build their presence is one big eternal quip fest between those two.

I don't know where the fuck this came from, but it keeps being this thing that I can see in all of its dumpsterfire glory.

Bob would applaud it with tears in his eyes, mostly because by this point Marvel is killing itself and he can feel the sympathetic agony of vicariously failing. Seriously, he's like a Corsican Brother, but only for garbage he brainlessly watched as a child while Ma and Pa ignored him.
 
I don't think he even watched original DB, because he used to scoff at the idea of making that a movie and was insistent Hollywood should just jump straight to Z. As in the one he thinks of as a superhero series (not kidding)

It might be the other way around. He's always loved superheroes being bright and colorful, part of the reason he prefers Sam Raimis Spiderman. So the Schumacher Batmans were his favorite as a teen and he likes to use Adam West as an excuse for why they're better.
Yeah, that makes sense. Bob always loved colourful bingbingwahoo style entertainment, and the bros disliking it probably makes him more secure in that love since he always thinks "If the bad people hate you for something, you must be doing it right".
 
I don't think he even watched original DB, because he used to scoff at the idea of making that a movie and was insistent Hollywood should just jump straight to Z. As in the one he thinks of as a superhero series (not kidding)
Yeah, that makes sense. Bob always loved colourful bingbingwahoo style entertainment, and the bros disliking it probably makes him more secure in that love since he always thinks "If the bad people hate you for something, you must be doing it right".
Z is definitely more his speed. The fights just become mindless pummelings filled to the brim with energy blasts. The Budokai Budokai Tenkaichi tournaments of the original DB at least had a good amount of actual martial arts fighting, strategy, and only used energy attacks sparingly until the Goku vs. Piccolo bout. They don't have the feeling of a big superhero throwdown at all so that would explain why he isn't that into them despite the fact that any competent studio could easily do a movie based around one of the tournaments.
 
Z is definitely more his speed. The fights just become mindless pummelings filled to the brim with energy blasts. The Budokai Budokai Tenkaichi tournaments of the original DB at least had a good amount of actual martial arts fighting, strategy, and only used energy attacks sparingly until the Goku vs. Piccolo bout. They don't have the feeling of a big superhero throwdown at all so that would explain why he isn't that into them despite the fact that any competent studio could easily do a movie based around one of the tournaments.
Part of the reason, I got bored with Z and others is because of all the power ups, screaming and corny dialogue. I prefer the original.
 
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MCU bullshit:
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Nothing in that first tweet sounds remotely interesting but I was never a Namor fan so maybe its actually mind-blowing.
Today's Bobby's Angels we have a very special cameo: Jake Alley!
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Fucking where retard? Tada what? It's insane how troons with obvious mental illness can make these bizarre accusations and people just lap it up.
 
Well, with the Alita movie kinda-sorta doing well, and the latest batch of video game movies not completely sucking, I can only expect those are the natural new sources of unnecessary Hollywood adaptations.

I am also afraid about how badly they will fuck them up, and how the humanoid glob of raw dough will justify considering them fine cinema.
 
Bobby shares his tricks in dealing with the Unintelligent:
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Peru threatens to elect an Anti-Bob into power:
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No Bad Tactics. Bobby advocates using force and bribe to crush the Red States:
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"Greggy"
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The Demented One is looking for new transsexual hair to sniff:
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HBO Did Something! Sylvester got "fixed" in time for Pride Month!
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MCU bullshit:
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More of Bobby's big-brain movie pitch:
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Today's Bobby's Angels we have a very special cameo: Jake Alley!
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Who the fuck is "embargo-ing" Bob? He doesn't work for The Escapist anymore; he's his own thing now. Or is there some form of contract-understanding between Bob (as well as other critics/reviewers) and the media that put out these things for Bob to consoom and review, where he can't say certain things before a certain appointed date and time because spoilers and shit and if he spills the beans too early they won't tell him shit ever again?
 
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