Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Boston Brand]

Please tell me he tried to get his job at the escapist back. Oh god please tell me he tried to get his job at the escapist back and they slammed the door on him. Sweet Jesus that would be funny.

On a side note: Apparently J.R.R. Tolkien helped C.S. Lewis convert to Christianity which is a fun historical fact I never knew about. And who said you can never learn anything from reading kiwifarms?

Yeah, the Lewis and Tolkien friendship is one kf the most famous stories of the early fantasy genre.

I like the RE Howard/HP Lovecraft friendship myself, albiet that one ends more tragically.

 

[Flexo]

I just feel like this entire thread would appreciate this fine work of art.

 

[Positron]

Chris got a new gimmick, which old-timers would call "webring":






They have a 10-minute introduction that I can't be bothered to listen.

 

[Carlos Thin]

You know what’s one thing I always wondered? Why is it, autistic nerds always have the most deranged fantasies?
For people who are obsessed with magic ponies, superheroes Disney Princesses and other cute junk, they have the most abstract thoughts and messed up fantasies.

It might have something to do with the autism. Hot take, I know.

Also most of them avoid reality like the plague so their fantasies become their only frame of reference. Mario good, Bowser bad. Democrats good, Republicans bad.

 

[Flexo]

Chris got a new gimmick, which old-timers would call "webring":
View attachment 2250847

View attachment 2250851

View attachment 2250844

They have a 10-minute introduction that I can't be bothered to listen.

At least they're quarantined now.

 

[Quixotic Man]

View attachment 2250847

That is the worst logo I have ever seen. Real "graphic design is my passion" tier shit.

 

[cypocryphy]

Speaking of which, a buddy on mine discord told me how one time their film professor brought up Bobo as a legit source of movie knowledge and even showed his videos in class, including the Magneto one where he agreed with Bobos comments

I would have burst out into uncontrolable and unstoppable laughter and they'd have to put me in the nut house.

 

[Toxinophile]

"I'M GONNA CONSOOOOM!!! AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHH!!!!"
Archive (720p):
View attachment 2248319

I just torrented Loki episode 1 and watched it. Let's hear, or rather, read the video I transcribed on what's bobs take on things. just trying something different.

It's hard to know where to put punctuation when Bob's diatribes have inconsistently few pauses between sentences. If you find any grammar mistakes or offences, please take it all with a big grain of [sic].

Full Transcript:

_____And now here's Loki in which Marvel puts their in-house developed impishly handsome wiry English dark dream boat back to work while cramming Doctor Who, The Good Place, and The Blacklist pureed into a more meta than meta brunch smoothier [sic] streaming series while glancing around, avoiding eye contact with excessive fake humility high-whispering: "Oh gee I wonder if TV reviewers are gonna like this exact specific combination of ingredients I mean it's not like we got this down to a science or anything no but really do you like it?" (cue Lisa Simpson clip saying yes)

_____But yes, big fucking shock, Marvel, the Hollywood studio answer to a 3.0 GPA that still got into hobbit thanks to shockingly deep extracurricular numbers and a mall karate blue belt counting for two extra gym credits, appears to at least from the outset to have crafted another above average streaming miniseries by pairing a smorgasbord of story ideas and supporting characters from its 80 year history of comic book weirdness, fresh creative talent eager to prove their worth to the new fuedal lords of the entertainment kingdom, a studio chief possibly genetically engineered by DARPA to save the American movie industry, and whichever name stars from the cinematic universe were not currently shooting a feature but were still interested in a nice new car, boat, or addition to their house.

_____Time will tell of course whether or not it has a chance of measuring up to Wandavision's medium challenging genre redefining emotional powerhouse, or Falcon and the Winter Soldier's occasionally awkward but admirably gutsy topical boldness but right now it feels prime to scratch the particular itch for quirky takes of big sci-fi metaphysical story conceits being turned inside-out by rye [sic], deadpan actors in an unfolding mystery maze plot that fans of such things may have been missing between other, bigger properties while also giving Tom Hiddleston an immediately intruiging new context in which to play around with the character he's taken ownership of like few blockbuster-level actors in recent memory, that fans should find instantly satisfying and yes, it looks as though these stripe of marvel fan that will tune in regardless to pour over every frame, seeking clues to futre storylines, will find themselves more than serviced as well, though, thus far thankfully not at the expense of more casual viewers I'll [sic]. <-- (prolly an editing mistake)

_____Note that I am aiming to keep this review by my definition "spoiler free" in terms of specific not-vailable-by-looking-just-at-the-promotions-and-ad-mataerial-plot-details-and-surpises, but given that the series appears to answer at least one, big previously unclarified question of the entire marvel universe "thing" offhandedly within its first 12 minutes, I'd advise those trying to go in completely clean to maybe watch the first one before this review. Okay? Alright. Otherwise- (cue transition)

_____So, in case there was any confusion Loki functions as a kind of direct side-sequel to the second act of Avengers: Endgame i.e [sic] the time travel heist part where in, you'll recall because the future Avengers made a mistake trying to steal the tesseract from their 2012-Avengers-part-1-selves. 2012-still-alive-and-still-evil-Loki was able to grab it back and teleport away, likely creating one of those new butterfly-effect-alternate-reality-timelines proffessor Hulk had warned about. Except it turns out, that's not such a big deal as he finds himself snatched up and thrown into a dystopian cosmic courthouse by very interminating [sic] agents of the Time Variance Authority. (cue clip of Loki getting arrested by the time police for time crimes)

_____A kind of cosmic combination [sic] legal bureaucracy, police force, FBI, detective agency, and court system that exist to chase down variants, which he apparently now IS, for crimes against the sacred timeline. Yeah that big lingering question I mentioned? If you've been wondering between the Quicksilver stuff, the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D inconsistencies, the Netflix stuff, et cetera, whether or not there was or was not a mult-eye-verse component to the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Loki has your answer straight off; there is not. (cue sad trombone) But there USED to be, and there could be again maybe but not if the TVA has anything to say about it. See a big conceit here is that apparently there WERE multiple universes at one point, but they kept getting into each other's business and making mult-eye-versal wars and destructive chaos that could've destroyed all realities forever if not for the trio of omnipotent cosmic beings calling themselves "Time Keepers," who whittled everything down to a single "Sacred Timeline," with a predetermined proper continuity of events for well, everything that the TVA is tasked with "protecting." Which chiefly means hunting down variants like Loki who break off their fated path, and in doing so creating alternate timelines which if not deleted in time, could become new realities and restart the mult-eye-verse which would be "bad" according to the Time Keepers, wherever they are.

_____But Loki seemingly lucks into a reprieve from deletion when Owen Wilson's TVA Agent Mobius decides for spoilerly reasons, he might be useful in tracking down an apparently even more dangerous fugitive variant that's skipping around the timeline, murdering entire squads of minute men, TVA enforcers, to steal their special equipment for sinister purposes. Loki agrees, in part because even the TVA random desk clerks seem to massively outpower him and also because the revelation of what supposed to, and what did come of his sacred timeline self has shattered his sense of identity and forced him to confront the TVA's seemingly self-evident commitment to benevolent fatalism versus his own inherence to uniquely chaotic free will, OR both sides are working a double-cross, hence Loki is literally the god of mischief and can't wait to tell anybody who'll listen. He just wants to talk with the time keepers. (cue Loki clip saying COME ON? What did you expect?) Mobius is, well a cop but also a cop that's pulling the: "only a killer can catch a killer" schtick, and the judge obstensibly in charge of their investigation is Gugu Mbatha-Raw as "Ravonna Renslayer," a name Marvel Comics fans should immediately recognize as belonging to the complicated, sometimes romantic interest of Kang the Conqueror, AKA the guy Jonathan Majors is playing in Ant-Man 3 who may or may not be the next major villain for this entire damn mega franchise.

_____Both the first and second episodes additionally conclude with big game-changing reveals as to the nature of the fugitive variant they're chasing that are fun and t-significant [sic] interesting directions that could get very interesting in the remaining 4 episodes but beyond whatever big Marvel reveals or retcons could be awaiting hardcore fans it does appear were back in the Wandavision territory in terms of subgenre. A one time supporting character taking center stage for a personal journey of sci-fi fantasy introspection and self-healing. Well, on the meta narrative side, the Marvel machine engages in some media study self-criticism vis-à-vis its own role as prime arbiter of the new global popular mythology. Where Scarlett Witch's eerily well timed truama-purg [sic] explored the psychology behind retreating into comfort viewing like nostalgia TV and by association the MCU itself, and whether or not this was healthy for us in general, as a therapeutic replacement for coping with grief or anxiety, Loki is both trying to find himself and also seems poised to be a counterargument for the benefits of free will and chaos of a multiverse, in opposition the ordered, quasi-religious fatalism of the TVA. Which of course also seems to represent an internal argument as to exactly how much of the velvet glove, iron fist treatment Marvel should be giving to its own stranglehold on the MCUs famously marketable, shared universe continuity.

_____Whether it succeeds or not at this goal, in fact if these ARE the goals and there isn't some sort of huge, thematic curveball waiting now that episode 2 has dropped its "okay, I guess anything can happen now. " cards on the table will remain to be seen but I find the whole thing extremely encouraging, in part with how laid back it is. Sure, nobody was expecting Wandavision to pull a complete en-medias-res reality break for three full episodes and trust the audience to stick around and catch up, or whereas Falcon and the Winter Soldier took a more complicated route given the material, by opening and sticking with a big movie level action crossed with TV level intrigue but so far Loki has a dialed down, melancholy, TV energy that feels key to both the frequency of TVA's retro 50s, DMV/Data center/Soviet filing office aesthetic, and Owen Wilson's ultra "Owen Wilsony" groove as Mobius, great great casting here as it turns out. Nothing about it feels like it's in a hurry, but Loki, which, fits with the world building and the gives it a fresh, chilled-out tempo for the main character to bounce off of.

_____Bottom line for now; I like the new characters, Hiddleston still works, I'm eager to see where all of this weirdness goes, I'm sure Tara Strong is going to be a fan favorite as Miss Minutes, the cartoon clock who claims to be both alive and a recording but not quite but extremely down for more. Not that I would probably need to say so but I recommend it. this should be a fun ride. (roll credits)

 

[Arthur Morgan]

You know what’s one thing I always wondered? Why is it, autistic nerds always have the most deranged fantasies?

For people who are obsessed with magic ponies, superheroes Disney Princesses and other cute junk, they have the most abstract thoughts and messed up fantasies.

Well they don't have friends and are incapable of self reflection so they assume everyone is out to get them. And in the media they consume, killing the bad guys is fully justified so by murdering real people, they're just doing the right thing for the good of humanity.

 

[Quixotic Man]

I would have burst out into uncontrolable and unstoppable laughter and they'd have to put me in the nut house.

I once watched a Moviebob video in a college class. Mind you it was prefaced by the Professor qualifying that he usually didn't agree with Moviebob. It was his video on Resident Evil 5 and the lesson something about racism and stereotypes in media. This was about a decade ago too, so I only knew Bob as the guy who was annoying, not a horrible human being with absoultely shit opinions. Pre-Gamergate and all that.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

I once watched a Moviebob video in a college class. Mind you it was prefaced by the Professor qualifying that he usually didn't agree with Moviebob. It was his video on Resident Evil 5 and the lesson something about racism and stereotypes in media. This was about a decade ago too, so I only knew Bob as the guy who was annoying, not a horrible human being with absoultely shit opinions. Pre-Gamergate and all that.

The racism controversy around RE5 was some of the stupidest pre-Current Year shit I've ever heard. It's set in Africa so of course the infectees are going to be native Africans.

 

[Tronathon242]

I just torrented Loki episode 1 and watched it. Let's hear, or rather, read the video I transcribed on what's bobs take on things. just trying something different.

It's hard to know where to put punctuation when Bob's diatribes have inconsistently few pauses between sentences. If you find any grammar mistakes or offences, please take it all with a big grain of [sic].

Full Transcript:

_____And now here's Loki in which Marvel puts their in-house developed impishly handsome wiry English dark dream boat back to work while cramming Doctor Who, The Good Place, and The Blacklist pureed into a more meta than meta brunch smoothier [sic] streaming series while glancing around, avoiding eye contact with excessive fake humility high-whispering: "Oh gee I wonder if TV reviewers are gonna like this exact specific combination of ingredients I mean it's not like we got this down to a science or anything no but really do you like it?" (cue Lisa Simpson clip saying yes)

_____But yes, big fucking shock, Marvel, the Hollywood studio answer to a 3.0 GPA that still got into hobbit thanks to shockingly deep extracurricular numbers and a mall karate blue belt counting for two extra gym credits, appears to at least from the outset to have crafted another above average streaming miniseries by pairing a smorgasbord of story ideas and supporting characters from its 80 year history of comic book weirdness, fresh creative talent eager to prove their worth to the new fuedal lords of the entertainment kingdom, a studio chief possibly genetically engineered by DARPA to save the American movie industry, and whichever name stars from the cinematic universe were not currently shooting a feature but were still interested in a nice new car, boat, or addition to their house.

_____Time will tell of course whether or not it has a chance of measuring up to Wandavision's medium challenging genre redefining emotional powerhouse, or Falcon and the Winter Soldier's occasionally awkward but admirably gutsy topical boldness but right now it feels prime to scratch the particular itch for quirky takes of big sci-fi metaphysical story conceits being turned inside-out by rye [sic], deadpan actors in an unfolding mystery maze plot that fans of such things may have been missing between other, bigger properties while also giving Tom Hiddleston an immediately intruiging new context in which to play around with the character he's taken ownership of like few blockbuster-level actors in recent memory, that fans should find instantly satisfying and yes, it looks as though these stripe of marvel fan that will tune in regardless to pour over every frame, seeking clues to futre storylines, will find themselves more than serviced as well, though, thus far thankfully not at the expense of more casual viewers I'll [sic]. <-- (prolly an editing mistake)

_____Note that I am aiming to keep this review by my definition "spoiler free" in terms of specific not-vailable-by-looking-just-at-the-promotions-and-ad-mataerial-plot-details-and-surpises, but given that the series appears to answer at least one, big previously unclarified question of the entire marvel universe "thing" offhandedly within its first 12 minutes, I'd advise those trying to go in completely clean to maybe watch the first one before this review. Okay? Alright. Otherwise- (cue transition)

_____So, in case there was any confusion Loki functions as a kind of direct side-sequel to the second act of Avengers: Endgame i.e [sic] the time travel heist part where in, you'll recall because the future Avengers made a mistake trying to steal the tesseract from their 2012-Avengers-part-1-selves. 2012-still-alive-and-still-evil-Loki was able to grab it back and teleport away, likely creating one of those new butterfly-effect-alternate-reality-timelines proffessor Hulk had warned about. Except it turns out, that's not such a big deal as he finds himself snatched up and thrown into a dystopian cosmic courthouse by very interminating [sic] agents of the Time Variance Authority. (cue clip of Loki getting arrested by the time police for time crimes)

_____A kind of cosmic combination [sic] legal bureaucracy, police force, FBI, detective agency, and court system that exist to chase down variants, which he apparently now IS, for crimes against the sacred timeline. Yeah that big lingering question I mentioned? If you've been wondering between the Quicksilver stuff, the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D inconsistencies, the Netflix stuff, et cetera, whether or not there was or was not a mult-eye-verse component to the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Loki has your answer straight off; there is not. (cue sad trombone) But there USED to be, and there could be again maybe but not if the TVA has anything to say about it. See a big conceit here is that apparently there WERE multiple universes at one point, but they kept getting into each other's business and making mult-eye-versal wars and destructive chaos that could've destroyed all realities forever if not for the trio of omnipotent cosmic beings calling themselves "Time Keepers," who whittled everything down to a single "Sacred Timeline," with a predetermined proper continuity of events for well, everything that the TVA is tasked with "protecting." Which chiefly means hunting down variants like Loki who break off their fated path, and in doing so creating alternate timelines which if not deleted in time, could become new realities and restart the mult-eye-verse which would be "bad" according to the Time Keepers, wherever they are.

_____But Loki seemingly lucks into a reprieve from deletion when Owen Wilson's TVA Agent Mobius decides for spoilerly reasons, he might be useful in tracking down an apparently even more dangerous fugitive variant that's skipping around the timeline, murdering entire squads of minute men, TVA enforcers, to steal their special equipment for sinister purposes. Loki agrees, in part because even the TVA random desk clerks seem to massively outpower him and also because the revelation of what supposed to, and what did come of his sacred timeline self has shattered his sense of identity and forced him to confront the TVA's seemingly self-evident commitment to benevolent fatalism versus his own inherence to uniquely chaotic free will, OR both sides are working a double-cross, hence Loki is literally the god of mischief and can't wait to tell anybody who'll listen. He just wants to talk with the time keepers. (cue Loki clip saying COME ON? What did you expect?) Mobius is, well a cop but also a cop that's pulling the: "only a killer can catch a killer" schtick, and the judge obstensibly in charge of their investigation is Gugu Mbatha-Raw as "Ravonna Renslayer," a name Marvel Comics fans should immediately recognize as belonging to the complicated, sometimes romantic interest of Kang the Conqueror, AKA the guy Jonathan Majors is playing in Ant-Man 3 who may or may not be the next major villain for this entire damn mega franchise.

_____Both the first and second episodes additionally conclude with big game-changing reveals as to the nature of the fugitive variant they're chasing that are fun and t-significant [sic] interesting directions that could get very interesting in the remaining 4 episodes but beyond whatever big Marvel reveals or retcons could be awaiting hardcore fans it does appear were back in the Wandavision territory in terms of subgenre. A one time supporting character taking center stage for a personal journey of sci-fi fantasy introspection and self-healing. Well, on the meta narrative side, the Marvel machine engages in some media study self-criticism vis-à-vis its own role as prime arbiter of the new global popular mythology. Where Scarlett Witch's eerily well timed truama-purg [sic] explored the psychology behind retreating into comfort viewing like nostalgia TV and by association the MCU itself, and whether or not this was healthy for us in general, as a therapeutic replacement for coping with grief or anxiety, Loki is both trying to find himself and also seems poised to be a counterargument for the benefits of free will and chaos of a multiverse, in opposition the ordered, quasi-religious fatalism of the TVA. Which of course also seems to represent an internal argument as to exactly how much of the velvet glove, iron fist treatment Marvel should be giving to its own stranglehold on the MCUs famously marketable, shared universe continuity.

_____Whether it succeeds or not at this goal, in fact if these ARE the goals and there isn't some sort of huge, thematic curveball waiting now that episode 2 has dropped its "okay, I guess anything can happen now. " cards on the table will remain to be seen but I find the whole thing extremely encouraging, in part with how laid back it is. Sure, nobody was expecting Wandavision to pull a complete en-medias-res reality break for three full episodes and trust the audience to stick around and catch up, or whereas Falcon and the Winter Soldier took a more complicated route given the material, by opening and sticking with a big movie level action crossed with TV level intrigue but so far Loki has a dialed down, melancholy, TV energy that feels key to both the frequency of TVA's retro 50s, DMV/Data center/Soviet filing office aesthetic, and Owen Wilson's ultra "Owen Wilsony" groove as Mobius, great great casting here as it turns out. Nothing about it feels like it's in a hurry, but Loki, which, fits with the world building and the gives it a fresh, chilled-out tempo for the main character to bounce off of.

_____Bottom line for now; I like the new characters, Hiddleston still works, I'm eager to see where all of this weirdness goes, I'm sure Tara Strong is going to be a fan favorite as Miss Minutes, the cartoon clock who claims to be both alive and a recording but not quite but extremely down for more. Not that I would probably need to say so but I recommend it. this should be a fun ride. (roll credits)

Everything he ever describes as "game changing" or "revolutionary" or "medium challenging" always gets forgotten. I still remember the Scott Pilgrim sperg out when that film didn't get the recognition he thought it deserved and now over a decade later, it's nothing more than a curious nerdy footnote.

 

[Ita Mori]

Bob - Fight expert.

View attachment 2239040

Logan Paul could fuck him up while fucking his sister simultaneously.
Bob giving fighting analysis is like Bob giving health tips.

 

[Positron]

No, Bobby was not fired... yet.


Why do they have so many editors? The quality of the vid is no better than Bobby's solo gig. BTW no, Bobby did not elaborate what the "personal setback" that made him FURIOUS was.

+ + + +
Greenwald:




"Impoverished journalists"



Yes. This nutter David Neiwert really made a 110-part Twitter thread in May 21, 2019!

"Iran presidential candidate says he wants to kidnap 1000 Americans for ransom!"
"So what? Trump killed 600000 Americans!"


"Lil' Marco" doesn't have the political acumen of Bobby:



And the Dems is trying everything to ensure they don't have to raise wages again.

+ + + +
Someone tagged Bobby in a long discussion about the infamous new article from The Journal of American Psychoanalytic Association, about how whiteness is a "malignant, parasitic-like" disease that has no cure.

If whiteness has had enough time to "get over", why is Bobby so filled with entitlement?

Smart people don't worship cloud kings in magic books; they worship true-and-honest wokeness.

You may say so about Magic Book 1.0, but Magic Book 2.0 is explicated stated to be for people "to the end of the Earth". On the contrary, everything that Wokeness touched is locked and reserved for people of one particular color only.

Still, John Vinals has his lucid moments, which is unfortunately denied to Bobby:


+ + + +


Capeshit. Thor x Eternals.


The Christian God is fair game but don't you blaspheme the Hindu pantheon in your capeshit!


Loki:




Miscellaneous MCU bullshit:








+ + + +
Bobby's up a creepazoid level today. First, some more MCU fap material:

IV drip? Why not an exploding fountain?

Fap:


Thirst:


Thirst; no idea what Bobby's referring to:


Creep:


Oh, some fap material for you too if you happen to swing the other way!

Bobby's creepiness is nothing if not diverse and inclusive.

Bobby gets offended on fags' behalf.




More attention-whoring bullshit by Aimee Terese:


Bobby talks about "Pleistocene Rewilding" again, surely his favorite pipe dream apart from Moon Wheat:

 

[Boston Brand]

Everything he ever describes as "game changing" or "revolutionary" or "medium challenging" always gets forgotten. I still remember the Scott Pilgrim sperg out when that film didn't get the recognition he thought it deserved and now over a decade later, it's nothing more than a curious nerdy footnote.

It's a movie where a whiny hipster nerd gets to beat up Captain America and make out with two attractive chicks... when his only discernible skill is video game references and liking pretentious music.

No wonder every basement dweller on the Internet loves it, Bob included.

It's also why Bobby still rags on The Expendables evwry chance he gets... still bitter Sly Stallone kicked Michael Cera's teeth in at the box office.

 

[UserAccess]

I just torrented Loki episode 1 and watched it. Let's hear, or rather, read the video I transcribed on what's bobs take on things. just trying something different.

It's hard to know where to put punctuation when Bob's diatribes have inconsistently few pauses between sentences. If you find any grammar mistakes or offences, please take it all with a big grain of [sic].

Full Transcript:

_____And now here's Loki in which Marvel puts their in-house developed impishly handsome wiry English dark dream boat back to work while cramming Doctor Who, The Good Place, and The Blacklist pureed into a more meta than meta brunch smoothier [sic] streaming series while glancing around, avoiding eye contact with excessive fake humility high-whispering: "Oh gee I wonder if TV reviewers are gonna like this exact specific combination of ingredients I mean it's not like we got this down to a science or anything no but really do you like it?" (cue Lisa Simpson clip saying yes)

_____But yes, big fucking shock, Marvel, the Hollywood studio answer to a 3.0 GPA that still got into hobbit thanks to shockingly deep extracurricular numbers and a mall karate blue belt counting for two extra gym credits, appears to at least from the outset to have crafted another above average streaming miniseries by pairing a smorgasbord of story ideas and supporting characters from its 80 year history of comic book weirdness, fresh creative talent eager to prove their worth to the new fuedal lords of the entertainment kingdom, a studio chief possibly genetically engineered by DARPA to save the American movie industry, and whichever name stars from the cinematic universe were not currently shooting a feature but were still interested in a nice new car, boat, or addition to their house.

_____Time will tell of course whether or not it has a chance of measuring up to Wandavision's medium challenging genre redefining emotional powerhouse, or Falcon and the Winter Soldier's occasionally awkward but admirably gutsy topical boldness but right now it feels prime to scratch the particular itch for quirky takes of big sci-fi metaphysical story conceits being turned inside-out by rye [sic], deadpan actors in an unfolding mystery maze plot that fans of such things may have been missing between other, bigger properties while also giving Tom Hiddleston an immediately intruiging new context in which to play around with the character he's taken ownership of like few blockbuster-level actors in recent memory, that fans should find instantly satisfying and yes, it looks as though these stripe of marvel fan that will tune in regardless to pour over every frame, seeking clues to futre storylines, will find themselves more than serviced as well, though, thus far thankfully not at the expense of more casual viewers I'll [sic]. <-- (prolly an editing mistake)

_____Note that I am aiming to keep this review by my definition "spoiler free" in terms of specific not-vailable-by-looking-just-at-the-promotions-and-ad-mataerial-plot-details-and-surpises, but given that the series appears to answer at least one, big previously unclarified question of the entire marvel universe "thing" offhandedly within its first 12 minutes, I'd advise those trying to go in completely clean to maybe watch the first one before this review. Okay? Alright. Otherwise- (cue transition)

_____So, in case there was any confusion Loki functions as a kind of direct side-sequel to the second act of Avengers: Endgame i.e [sic] the time travel heist part where in, you'll recall because the future Avengers made a mistake trying to steal the tesseract from their 2012-Avengers-part-1-selves. 2012-still-alive-and-still-evil-Loki was able to grab it back and teleport away, likely creating one of those new butterfly-effect-alternate-reality-timelines proffessor Hulk had warned about. Except it turns out, that's not such a big deal as he finds himself snatched up and thrown into a dystopian cosmic courthouse by very interminating [sic] agents of the Time Variance Authority. (cue clip of Loki getting arrested by the time police for time crimes)

_____A kind of cosmic combination [sic] legal bureaucracy, police force, FBI, detective agency, and court system that exist to chase down variants, which he apparently now IS, for crimes against the sacred timeline. Yeah that big lingering question I mentioned? If you've been wondering between the Quicksilver stuff, the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D inconsistencies, the Netflix stuff, et cetera, whether or not there was or was not a mult-eye-verse component to the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Loki has your answer straight off; there is not. (cue sad trombone) But there USED to be, and there could be again maybe but not if the TVA has anything to say about it. See a big conceit here is that apparently there WERE multiple universes at one point, but they kept getting into each other's business and making mult-eye-versal wars and destructive chaos that could've destroyed all realities forever if not for the trio of omnipotent cosmic beings calling themselves "Time Keepers," who whittled everything down to a single "Sacred Timeline," with a predetermined proper continuity of events for well, everything that the TVA is tasked with "protecting." Which chiefly means hunting down variants like Loki who break off their fated path, and in doing so creating alternate timelines which if not deleted in time, could become new realities and restart the mult-eye-verse which would be "bad" according to the Time Keepers, wherever they are.

_____But Loki seemingly lucks into a reprieve from deletion when Owen Wilson's TVA Agent Mobius decides for spoilerly reasons, he might be useful in tracking down an apparently even more dangerous fugitive variant that's skipping around the timeline, murdering entire squads of minute men, TVA enforcers, to steal their special equipment for sinister purposes. Loki agrees, in part because even the TVA random desk clerks seem to massively outpower him and also because the revelation of what supposed to, and what did come of his sacred timeline self has shattered his sense of identity and forced him to confront the TVA's seemingly self-evident commitment to benevolent fatalism versus his own inherence to uniquely chaotic free will, OR both sides are working a double-cross, hence Loki is literally the god of mischief and can't wait to tell anybody who'll listen. He just wants to talk with the time keepers. (cue Loki clip saying COME ON? What did you expect?) Mobius is, well a cop but also a cop that's pulling the: "only a killer can catch a killer" schtick, and the judge obstensibly in charge of their investigation is Gugu Mbatha-Raw as "Ravonna Renslayer," a name Marvel Comics fans should immediately recognize as belonging to the complicated, sometimes romantic interest of Kang the Conqueror, AKA the guy Jonathan Majors is playing in Ant-Man 3 who may or may not be the next major villain for this entire damn mega franchise.

_____Both the first and second episodes additionally conclude with big game-changing reveals as to the nature of the fugitive variant they're chasing that are fun and t-significant [sic] interesting directions that could get very interesting in the remaining 4 episodes but beyond whatever big Marvel reveals or retcons could be awaiting hardcore fans it does appear were back in the Wandavision territory in terms of subgenre. A one time supporting character taking center stage for a personal journey of sci-fi fantasy introspection and self-healing. Well, on the meta narrative side, the Marvel machine engages in some media study self-criticism vis-à-vis its own role as prime arbiter of the new global popular mythology. Where Scarlett Witch's eerily well timed truama-purg [sic] explored the psychology behind retreating into comfort viewing like nostalgia TV and by association the MCU itself, and whether or not this was healthy for us in general, as a therapeutic replacement for coping with grief or anxiety, Loki is both trying to find himself and also seems poised to be a counterargument for the benefits of free will and chaos of a multiverse, in opposition the ordered, quasi-religious fatalism of the TVA. Which of course also seems to represent an internal argument as to exactly how much of the velvet glove, iron fist treatment Marvel should be giving to its own stranglehold on the MCUs famously marketable, shared universe continuity.

_____Whether it succeeds or not at this goal, in fact if these ARE the goals and there isn't some sort of huge, thematic curveball waiting now that episode 2 has dropped its "okay, I guess anything can happen now. " cards on the table will remain to be seen but I find the whole thing extremely encouraging, in part with how laid back it is. Sure, nobody was expecting Wandavision to pull a complete en-medias-res reality break for three full episodes and trust the audience to stick around and catch up, or whereas Falcon and the Winter Soldier took a more complicated route given the material, by opening and sticking with a big movie level action crossed with TV level intrigue but so far Loki has a dialed down, melancholy, TV energy that feels key to both the frequency of TVA's retro 50s, DMV/Data center/Soviet filing office aesthetic, and Owen Wilson's ultra "Owen Wilsony" groove as Mobius, great great casting here as it turns out. Nothing about it feels like it's in a hurry, but Loki, which, fits with the world building and the gives it a fresh, chilled-out tempo for the main character to bounce off of.

_____Bottom line for now; I like the new characters, Hiddleston still works, I'm eager to see where all of this weirdness goes, I'm sure Tara Strong is going to be a fan favorite as Miss Minutes, the cartoon clock who claims to be both alive and a recording but not quite but extremely down for more. Not that I would probably need to say so but I recommend it. this should be a fun ride. (roll credits)

 

[Tronathon242]

Logan Paul could fuck him up while fucking his sister simultaneously.
Bob giving fighting analysis is like Bob giving health tips.

Him giving analysis or sharing "expertise" on anything outside of Fat Daego's Plumbing Adventure is just plain laughable. Hell, even his Bing Bing Wahoo insights are extremely tenuous and clouded by a cult like devotion.

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

Chris got a new gimmick, which old-timers would call "webring":
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They have a 10-minute introduction that I can't be bothered to listen.

Chris is a day late and a dollar short as usual. I don't even know what he hopes to accomplish with his podcasts or co-founding this network. Pretty much the entire media-entertainment complex purports to be progress and he doesn't really even stand out. He's some smug prick from the Boston suburbs talking about his entertainment, which is something everyone is doing. I would really like to hear him try to convince me why he's even worth a moment of my time. I don't give a rat's ass about Blockbuster and I get the impression that he's tedious as hell to listen to.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

The thing is that ”thinking and questioning” is actually how lots of people found God, and you could argue that the Protestant Reformation was a result of Luther questioning Church practices around indulgences.

Does this mean that those dang, dirty Evangelicals are the real Thinkers™?

Let me just point out that about a hundred years ago, a Congressman from Louisiana wanted to introduce hippos to the Mississippi Delta. Obviously, this would have negative effects today, but he supported it based on the same arguments Blob supports putting elephants in West Virginia or whatever. It's almost as if putting animals into ecosystems without knowing what effects they'll have is a bad idea.

 

[Koby_Fish]

The thing is that ”thinking and questioning” is actually how lots of people found God, and you could argue that the Protestant Reformation was a result of Luther questioning Church practices around indulgences.

Does this mean that those dang, dirty Evangelicals are the real Thinkers™?

Let me just point out that about a hundred years ago, a Congressman from Louisiana wanted to introduce hippos to the Mississippi Delta. Obviously, this would have negative effects today, but he supported it based on the same arguments Blob supports putting elephants in West Virginia or whatever. It's almost as if putting animals into ecosystems without knowing what effects they'll have is a bad idea.

i doubt Bob is familiar with the concept of "Invasive Species" (unless it's Straight White Cis Males). I hope he never runs right into a Giant Hogweed on a sunny day, just sayin'.