Ron's gonna get sooooo many dongs rubbed on him
Sam Browning, who does not have an account here, asked me to post this for Ron on Sam's behalf:
An Open Email to Ron Collins:
(Because some communications aren’t worth an open letter)
Dear Ron:
Its Samuel Browning. We first ran into each other when I was a staff member at Bullshido.com, and you were only an aspiring felon, having yet to take the plunge on your first exciting multi-year prison sentence. Since then, I’ve been observing the dumpster fire that is your life, and I’m finally moved by pity, or by the fascination one might get by watching a bad train wreck, to write to you.
I've got to be honest: I don’t like you, and I suspect the feeling is mutual. On the other hand, I would prefer to see you act as a productive citizen and not spend the better part of the next twenty years in and out of the county jail, or State and Federal prison. So please ignore my conceit, when I attempt to provide useful advice as opposed to simply mocking you.
The last time you received such advice was from Icy Mike, after he took you apart in your one-minute fight. Since you ignored his positive advice, I figure there is a 1% chance you will listen to anything I say, but that is worth 20 minutes of my time, versus the rest of your potentially productive adult life behind bars.
Let me say, I don’t pretend to be Mr. Moral, and like everyone reading this thread I have on occasion done dumb, embarrassing things. Heck, I have even done stupid things for ego gratification just like yourself. I once spent untold hours writing a Kindle book on a subject near and dear to my heart just to self-publish the work and sell nine copies. LOL at me! But there is a difference. My stupidity didn’t risk serious jail time.
You see Ron, your downfall is that you are fixated on telling everyone within earshot, or the internet, that you are one dangerous dude. And not just in bars while drinking. You told the court this at a previous bond hearing. You most recently did this when appealing your conviction, leaving the court little choice but to reject it. (You don’t yet know this, but the magistrate will be turning you down, hard)
They say a definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result. So as Dr. Phil would say, “How’s that working for you?” The short answer is poorly, unless your real goal is being the recipient of more involuntary prison sex, but I’ll let the regular members of Kiwi Farms explain it more. They are a lot better at trolling you then I ever was.
Two paths present themselves to you, Ron. One would allow you to take care of your mom, and to re-engage in society through part-time work. The other is traveling in and out of prison, until you die while crawling into a dumpster for food in your sixties. By that point people may fear you, but not as people fear, say, Jason Statham. You know, the ultra cool Limey actor who plays men who can turn violence on and off as if they were flipping a switch, who other Alpha males respect and fear?
No, with you, if people fear you, it will be because you are suffering obvious mental illness. They do not want to get tetanus if you bite them, or endure your hobo stench, since by that point you will be exclusively living outdoors. Call me the Ghost of Christmas Future, but that’s what you are becoming. Scary, isn’t it?
Or… you might modify your behavior. Think of your mom. The only person who truly cares about you. Who put some money in your commissary account when you were in the big house. Don’t you agree she deserves someone other then the state taking care of her in the last years of her life? As someone who took care of my mom before her death, I know of what I speak. Go shopping for her, take her to doctor’s appointments, be with her when she is having her worst nights, care for her! Do something good for the person who brought you into this world. It will make you a better person and give meaning to your life!
Similarly I know you are on disability. If I were you I would go to the VA, talk to a counselor and find out if your benefits allow you to work part time. No. not dealing weed and pills to underage customers, but engaging in legal work in the above ground economy!
I get that it is more satisfying to you to describe yourself as Ron the Ninja Master, as opposed to Ron the Short Order Cook, but after watching the video of Icy Mike kick your ass (in just 1 minute, did I mention 1 minute, how could I forget 1 minute?) it's easy to see you are no martial arts master. Hell, you are barely a martial arts hobbyist. So truth hurts, but it's time to find a new identity. And one that doesn’t promote your existing mental illness.
Ron, you have one thing working in your favor. After Covid 19, the economy cannot find enough entry level workers. If you want to re-invent yourself as a low level construction worker, or food service worker, or janitorial worker, the openings are there, as long as you show up on time, do your job, and stop trying to threaten people. For example can you say, when asked. “I did some time in prison, but I’m on the job, I don’t want to talk about it.” Or would you say, “I’m going to cut your throat ear to ear, if you don’t get that order up here!” Only one answer will allow you to keep your employment. Can you figure out which one it is?
I know that this advice will probably fall upon your deaf ears, or blind eyes, but it really is that simple. Find an identity that allows you to re-join the local economy, or forever be doomed to be a parasite.
Finally, I understand that you went back to jail because you failed out of your halfway house. Unlike the army and prison, in real life, there are few external actors that will keep you on the straight and narrow. Once outside, you can’t look to your NCO, or the Shot Caller on your cell block to regulate your daily behavior. You have to do so yourself, like most adults. You have to make a choice to do well, and be well, and work on it every day. And taking your meds would probably help a great deal. You can do that, can’t you?
I think I already know the ending to your story, but I would like you to prove me wrong. Be a better person than you have previously been at any point in your life. It will be a day by day struggle, but it will be more rewarding then you could ever imagine... if you have the courage to try, and endure.
-- Sam Browning
