Santa Believer Thread

[Professional Lurker]

If Santa isn't real, why are the cookies and milk gone even though momma and daddy are asleep???? Explain that, retards.

 

[Pitere pit]

Jokes on you! I am a firm believer of the 3 Magic Kings. Gold, myrrh and incense ftw. And we have a nigger who carry all the gifts, thanks Balthazar.

 

[Max Doof]

Of course Santa is real, we went to college together!

 

[Pissmaster]

Lil redpill for you all:

The whole reason orphanages have charity drives where you donate toys and shit isn't because Santa hates orphans or anything.

Think about it.

What the orphanage administration does is they rally up all the kids and force them to ask santa for 8-balls of cocaine, fentanyl, all sorts'a shit. Then on Christmas Day Santa delivers a shitload of drugs under the tree and all the adults go and take the drugs and distribute them amongst themselves and the kids all just get whatever shit got donated at the supermarket. It's the perfect crime.

Let that sink in.

 

[Pina Colada]

Psh, everyone knows Santa kidnaps kids at the mall, injects them with hormone blockers, and enslaves them in his toy factory for eternity!

 

[The Fool]

Psh, everyone knows Santa kidnaps kids at the mall, injects them with hormone blockers, and enslaves them in his toy factory for eternity!

No he does not.

Take that back right now.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Big Boss believes in Santa. Are you badass enough to believe in Christmas magic?

I hope Santa gets me comfy socks.

 

[Klaptrap]

If Santa isn't real explain why I got coal all these years.

 

[Doctor Placebo]

So what are you guys asking Santa for this Christmas?

Spoiler

LOL jk we're all getting coal because we're cyberbullies.

Spoiler

To stop cucking my dad.