SeasideMARK / SSM / Mark Edwards / TMAUMan - Benefit fraud streams his life of booze, gluttony, poverty, and sloth. And it's lush.

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Haven't updated OP for a few weeks because nobody else seems half as interested in this lolcow as I am :story:

Anyway. I'm about 90% certain this (A) is Mark advertising his place on HomeSwapper to trade for a place in Swanage, but he's been trying for years at this point and I doubt anyone wants his industrial-zone moldy doss house.

His new strategy seems to be to set the place on fire with the toaster and perhaps get kicked out - A few weeks back he was fishing in it with a knife to trip the breaker, last night he's cooking toast sideways and smoking the place out.

Last couple of days have been Mark admitting his benefits are getting cut (because he won't work) and that also means his spedmobile is being reclaimed leaving him without a car. Lots of cope videos about how he didn't want the car anyway and it's a positive thing.

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Without advertising this on /r9k/ /britfeel/ threads (probably frowned upon), or dming the seasideLARK or other mockery channels, this thread won't get off the ground without some dedicated posting. I'm not doing it though, I'm busy de lads.
 
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PLAYERHATER said:
Without advertising this on /r9k/ /britfeel/ threads (probably frowned upon), or dming the seasideLARK or other mockery channels, this thread won't get off the ground without some dedicated posting. I'm not doing it though, I'm busy de lads.
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Aye, and britfeel has been a complete trash fire of personality speds for a long time now. That’s just where I first saw Mark.
 
Mark's is once again hitting bottom after being at the top of his game only a week before - The GoPro has been sold. iPad has been sold. PS5 has been sold. Goo-Goo-Google pixel has been sold. Today, he's done his bollocks (or in American: Felted) by betting money he couldn't afford to lose on the Royal Ascot horse races. Even though he's 20 months no bookies, because 'ellen would leave him if he was betting, you see.

This morning (uk time) he uploaded a 20 minute cope stream where the narrative slid from 'I don't bet' to 'I only bet on paper' to 'I'm 120 quid in the hole' to 'better place more bets to make up for the loss'. This was quickly followed by a second stream where he spends 20 minutes picking the next set of horses that will whisk his little remaining money into the pocket of a bookie.





Protip: You can tell where Mark is in his current arc by the set of shibboleths he's currently uttering. Right now we're firmly in the 'we born with nothin, we leave with nothin' extreme cope because he's thrown a bunch of money away and doesn't want to own having being a daft twat.
 
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Excellent OP. I've been trying to get into SeasideMARK since a friend recommended him after I shared some christopherDJ content with him. I've caught a few of his streams at this point and they're kind of rough because he just keeps repeating the same shit over and over. There was a good moment in his live today I had wanted to clip but found he deleted the VOD and came here to find an archive.

One of the channels linked in the archive links 404s and is listed twice
I've opened tabs of all the archive channels and while it was kind of neat that you made each one linked to a word in the sentence, but it's also kind of annoying. I think you'd be better off listing them in a spoiler with maybe the last time they uploaded or active/inactive.
 
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PositiveMonk said:
Excellent OP. I've been trying to get into SeasideMARK since a friend recommended him after I shared some christopherDJ content with him. I've caught a few of his streams at this point and they're kind of rough because he just keeps repeating the same shit over and over. There was a good moment in his live today I had wanted to clip but found he deleted the VOD and came here to find an archive.

One of the channels linked in the archive links 404s and is listed twice
I've opened tabs of all the archive channels and while it was kind of neat that you made each one linked to a word in the sentence, but it's also kind of annoying. I think you'd be better off listing them in a spoiler with maybe the last time they uploaded or active/inactive.
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Oh yeah Brucie Bonus got canned by Youtube a while ago, I think for some gayops against Mark. Have rejigged the list.
Watching Mark's content can be a slog - He gets stuck in thought loops constantly and can do hours of video where he only really covers a single point on repeat. You kind of have to leave his babble on in the background and get on with something else, occasionally tuning in to catch something absurd.
 
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PositiveMonk said:
One of his streams had an interesting thumbnail the other day. I have no idea why the fuck he was doing this or what happened during that stream.
View attachment 6359874
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He's angling to be moved to new housing on the grounds of 'poor mental elf'. This routine usually involves stirring up threats from online twolls and performative demonstrations of mental disturbance. It's remarkable how removing his eyebrows does almost nothing to change his appearance.

Bonus, have an archive of a deleted live from last night. It's peak Mark stuff. Topics covered:
  1. He selling the Dell laptop.
  2. Actually he keeping the laptop.
  3. The government is conspiring to change weather patterns and ruin summer to keep the populace low on vitamin D thereby keeping everyone miserable and depressed unless you're a member of the ultra rich in which case you are living on your own private island which is sunny and warm. He reached this conclusion by doing his own research and encourages you to do the same by watching the old James Bond films, The Matrix, and Terminator 2. Reach your own conclusions. As you get older you get wiser and he is now over fifty.
  4. Blows nose into his jumper (17:17)
It lush.
 

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  • seasideMARK morning. Its not for me it might be for you, it not for me, 3 weeks left of the su...mp4
    189.8 MB
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GoldenSpoon said:
I never realised there was a fishmanstink forum on here.
See the daft cunt has gone and bought a switch this morning.
He's an absolute fucking retard.
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But will the switch last longer than any of the many PS5s, which I think topped out at two weeks. At least this time he hasn't bought Road To The Masters again for the fifteenth fucking time. He has bought 'PAG Golf' though, lel.
We're on the cashed-up part of the cycle, which means we're surely not far from the no-fucking-money-sell-everything part of the loop.
He doesn't seem to be spending much time with 'ellen lately, wonder if she's ditched him of if they're really just keeping it private.
 
Cougar Pump said:
But will the switch last longer than any of the many PS5s, which I think topped out at two weeks. At least this time he hasn't bought Road To The Masters again for the fifteenth fucking time. He has bought 'PAG Golf' though, lel.
We're on the cashed-up part of the cycle, which means we're surely not far from the no-fucking-money-sell-everything part of the loop.
He doesn't seem to be spending much time with 'ellen lately, wonder if she's ditched him of if they're really just keeping it private.
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In all honesty this part of him i just find amusing, The fact that he can buy something and then sell it for a loss days later and call it a win is just odd. But it's not his main draw to me as lolcow

The bit that i really want to know is where this money keeps coming from.

I seen a comment on one of Riffs videos today where he uses his sink. Which is just fucking vile, beast behaviour.
The comment said, 'Maybe there's a second camera set up and he's making some cash on a fetish?'
I could actually believe this. His """fans""" are very, very odd. Even his larpers go a bit deep.
My personal theory is he's still gambling like mad and when he makes a couple of hundred he just dumps into his 'item collection' of 6 things.

'Ellen i truly have no clue on. It's weird that no-one has snagged a picture of her yet. Shit, when DSP was hiding his mo-wife someone got a picture of her while they were driving randomly. So my theory Helen is either a big-beefy-bitch or your typical seaside gin lady.

He's the best lolcow we have in the UK and hopefully it keeps going but the way he's piled on the pounds recently even though he has to walk everywhere is not making the outlook rosy.
 
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Mark's latest expensive gadgets are a bluetooth boombox (his second one, this one 'six times louder for sandford lane only') and yet another PS5 with a handful of bad games that he will completely fail at.
Amusingly, he decided he wanted a guitar to plug into the speaker since it has a port for that. He went online and bought... a cheap acoustic guitar :story:

GoldenSpoon said:
The bit that i really want to know is where this money keeps coming from.
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He certainly seems to piss it away, although I'd guess what we see on camera is 100% of his spending. He can't resist broadcasting anything he spends on, food or gadgets. With the benefits he's on maybe that's all.
Xev said:
Why's he so scared of russia, he's already an orc
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Mark's a massive whuss and the slightest threat that might disturb his pointless but effortless existence causes the world in his head to collapse.
 
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PositiveMonk said:
Some times I see the progression of Mark's thumbnails throughout the day and wonder what I'm missing by not tuning in:
View attachment 6596409
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This was about 8 hours from the first thumbnail to the last. I'm very curious about the sad bottle in the second one.
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Halfway down that bottle he was already producing some gems de lad

 
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