Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

RANDI! Jake omits that he helped Randi spread her blocklists and gleefully participated in "New McCarthyism" (until he himself got put on them for harassment and now has sour grapes).
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Jake fails at using a search engine to figure out the timezone for a stream of one of the women he stalks, blames "misreading" AM as PM. This person was also perma banned from Twitter and started ban evading a while ago,
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Why doesn’t Jake make more use of Medium and tumblr? He used to be a fairly active blogger, and he lines droning on and on far beyond what Twitter is designed for. You’d think he’d love Medium for the opportunity to splash pages and pages of whatever he has on his mind at any given moment.

I think Jake is addicted to Twitter like pensioners are to pokey machines. He has to fuel his troon outrage engine and feel a false sense of human connection via his twitter habit, which has grown to consume his entire life.
 
RANDI! Jake omits that he helped Randi spread her blocklists and gleefully participated in "New McCarthyism" (until he himself got put on them for harassment and now has sour grapes).
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Jake fails at using a search engine to figure out the timezone for a stream of one of the women he stalks, blames "misreading" AM as PM. This person was also perma banned from Twitter and started ban evading a while ago,
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I love Kav. She’s an angry racist. She likes to do the soft block and gets mad if you immediately refollow her. She’ll probably get banned again for hate speech, but she’s never regained her follower count after her last account was banned.
 
Cow crossover with Aaron Simpson. Two men whine about actual women not bending over for them and involving themselves in Twitter fights, Jake thinks it is unfair that the women he stalks don't "stick their neck out in any way" and instead just stop talking to him. http://archive.li/RYF74
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Jake tries to panhandle, again. Mister Jake "trying to save up for food and shelter" Alley added another toy to his list a few days ago, a Switch game.
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This is what he panhandled in response to, trying to get money solely for lying and pretending he is 'trans' on the internet.
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Cow crossover with Aaron again, Jake tries to convince him it is ok for him to ebeg.
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The reason allies aren’t going to stick their necks out for Jake is because a man trying to force people to be his friend on Twitter is not exactly a priority.

As for the thing about just straight-up giving troons money, where to begin? It’s not helpful to just give someone money unless they’re going to use it to make real, long-term improvement. Jake doesn’t need money for that - he has food, shelter, a small income and an Internet connection. If he wants his life to improve, he already has all he needs to be a journalist.
 
I really don't get why he has to beg. He could apply the time he tweets "Oh Woe Is Me" and actually produce content. I mean, he's done work for Paizo. He's got all these industry contacts. He could just go full sperg and start up his own third party imprint.

Designing content as a third party publisher for Paizo is not hard. You just go to their site, download the required material, fill out a few forms, send them in, and you can even be featured on the Paizo store. If you have the talent (and make no mistake, making fun stuff is a talent. It goes beyond sheer number sperging) you can turn out a new product every month or two months, or hell, even in a week or two if you're really fired up.

The Pathfinder SRD (System Reference Document) is online, and the Wiki is very handy to use. He doesn't need any of the books in print, and the books slow you down when you're working on something to sell. The only thing that might slow him down is statblocks, but with practice, you can whip one out in five minutes, set it aside, check your math and sources an hour or so later to get a fresh look at it.

He's supposedly got a name in the Pathfinder circles. Even if it's a small name, you still have people that would go: "Oh, yeah, this dude worked on that book I like, I should check out his other stuff!" and you could pick up a purchase right there.

It's not hard to sign up for RPGNow and DriveThru RPG. They've even got ad packages you can request that they'll pull the cost from your little supplement or whatever. (Well, I've got that option, not sure if everyone does) Yeah, they take 30%-40% (Again, I'm grand-fathered, so they only take 20%) but that's because they handle distribution, refunds, the credit card/PayPal processing, all that good shit. You just slam it up, advertise it, and BOOM! Sales.

GIMP is out there for your graphical needs and it's free. It takes a few hours to learn and is pretty good.

Open Office is a free one too.

Now, if he wants to get REALLY technical, he can go on the Adobe site and download like... I think it's CS2 for free. That works really well if you're running a 2004 potato. You can also teach yourself to use the Adobe suite for when you've got some money coming in and can afford a license. (I use CS5 myself).

With the Adobe suite, he can even do custom layouts with InDesign (My preferred method) and even build templates so his later stuff is easier to use.

Making maps isn't even that hard. A scanner is easy to get. HEll, $40 and you get a cheap printer/scanner. Hook it up, scan your hand-drawn maps. You make them with graph paper, and proper drafting tools ($6 from Wal-Mart) or just use GIMP/Photoshop with a grid (There's even a tutorial on how to make a grid on a layer that will print) and snap to grid, and you can make perfectly acceptable maps. Hell, if you print them in Blue you can claim your doing them "old school" and go get a style sheet off of Google Search so you have the ladders, traps, secret door parts to drop into your map. If you pass the savings on not using high end mapping software like Campaign Cartographer to the consumer, they don't mind the old "Blue Print" maps.

He builds a statblock template in Open Office that he can quickly plug numbers into, gets his mapping grid set up, open the PFSRD on a browser, and he can start going to work.

That's if he wants to do adventures.

Sourcebooks, like "The Secret Life of Gnomes" sell if you've got a good hook. Hell, sourcebooks are amazing sellers. He could do "Gnomish Raiders of the Iron Steppes" and people will at least look at the free sample, and as long as he isn't lazy and shows only the inside four splash pages which just contain bullshit and actually shows some content, people might be intrigued enough to pick it up.

So he's got the resources, a name, and a distribution platform. What's stopping him from building a brand?

He can't say "artwork" because, to be honest (and I've tested this), you can throw up a book with a minimalistic cover and no interior artwork and it still sells if you pass the savings on to the customer. Hell, I tested it with hand drawn (ruler, french curve, compass, graph paper) maps, and told the consumer: "This is bare budget, that's why it costs you $4.99 instead of $9.99 for this. Enjoy!" and the feedback I got is that they liked it. There's plenty of Public Domain artwork out there that is VERY nice that can be used for covers and interior art and the like if you take the time to look. A little processing in GIMP (a free program, SGG) and you can make it fit right in.

I mean, he'll have to get used to embedding hyperlinks in the document, having an easy to use ToC, and the like, but it's not that hard.

Open Office, GIMP, some elementary school art supplies, a calculator, and an Adobe PDF converter and he's set.

He's got the time. I mean, back a long time ago on a drunken bet, me and a friend made a supplement (Charge a buck for it) in less than 48 hours, from concept to upload. It sold a shitload of copies and everyone who bought it liked it, even though the inside cover proudly proclaimed "WE'RE FUCKING DRUNK!"

Building a brand isn't hard. You start putting out good supplements/adventures/sourcebooks and have roughly similar covers and contents, your own writing style, and good solid stat-blocks with well balanced crunch, and you WILL get a following. Once you build that brand, you're good.

He can't fall back on "I don't want TERF's to know who I am" since you just slap your made-up company name on it and be good. And yes, people will buy supplements from XxXWeedLord420XxX on the cover if everything's solid.

Everyone knows game designers are weirdos, so he can't fall back on "I'm a recluse!" Paizo isn't going to out who he really is, and he already works with them anyway. Hell, he's probably got more industry contacts than I do.

He can't claim "Oh, my enemies..." because unless his enemies work for Paizo and can send him a cease & desist or unless he's somehow pissed off PayPal or RPGNow, they don't care about shit but the money.

He can't claim "Oh, I don't have time..." because the amount of time he spends sperging on Twitter could be used for flavor text, crunch, or exposition/explination text.

He HAS the ability to make money. He has the ability to start bringing in a decent income.

No, it won't happen with the first one or two books he puts out, unless he catches lightning in a bottle. But if he builds up a good catelogue, people notice that shit and become curious. He gets 10-15 supplements (easily doable in 3-6 months if he puts the effort toward his projects as he does toward Twitter) out on his store page, and people notice, people start buying, and if they like his stuff, he's got a catelogue for people to purchase from.

He brags about writing articles and the like, but unless they're paying him 5 cents a word, he'd be better off putting that in his own splat-books.

And once he gets a good catalogue, and people see he's a solid performer with good solid work and capable of putting out steady work, he'll start getting invites from other publications to write a guest spot for them, which gets his name out further. (THAT'S when exposure bucks spend)

When he gets a good enough following, he'll have young and hungry artists coming to him, saying "Hey, I'd love to be in Secret Gnome Girls VII! Check out my art!" and he can pay them bottom rates (NEVER get them for free. Jake, I know you're reading this. Always pay at least a pittance for them. Hell, I once paid a crate of Mac & Cheese, some Top Ramen, and $25 in Spam on my credit card for a full color insert because the artist was hungry and hadn't eaten in 2 days. I'll bet he'd do a color insert for me on credit because I was there when he was hungry and people don't forget that. Ever) for good artwork, paying them more for the second and beyond books if they prove popular artists.

Once he starts getting in money, he puts half of it back into a kitty to buy artwork, upgrade his software, hire an editor, and other business expenses, and keeps the other half for himself (Or uses 25% to pay off people he got artwork from on credit).

If he's got this talent to keep getting work with fucking PAIZO, has all this free time, and he has all these industry contacts...

Go third party publisher.

Tighten his belt for a few months and learn how to make the 12 Essential Top Ramen Recipes, drink water, and be a starving fucking writer till he's got a good catalogue and build a fan base.

And never beg again.

If a drunken retard can do it, so can he.

He won't.

He really mystifies me in some ways. He's got the writing chops to be on official books and be invited to conventions, but he's never done anything with them. I mean, I shouldn't throw stones since I haven't really produced anything in almost a decade beyond some fun stuff, but he just mystifies me.

He's worked with Paizo, for fuck's sake. He's been invited to the fucking cons on their dime.

Just because on game failed he stops producing?

Hell, I put out something that was universally tanked to the point I pulled it, rewrote the entire thing, and put it back up with people who bought the previous version authorized to download the new version for free. (God, that book sucked)

Why doesn't he just sit around and doodle up a company logo or pay some artist on DeviantArt $25 to make him a logo, fill out the paperwork, and make 3rd Party shit? It takes a few months to a year before you're pulling down 4 digits a month, but it's better than where he is now. If he produces solid, 1-4 products a month, in a years time he has between a dozen and thirty products out, and can slow to 1-2 products a month and still make a comfortable amount.

He could quit begging, buy some new shirts, upgrade his computer, hell, he might even be able to move to one of the Seattle bedroom communities or down by Olympia and go to the spa.

I don't understand why he doesnt...

Edit 2
A little more minor power-leveling, but applicable.

Maybe things have changed, but another thing that gets me about him not just doing his own 3PP route is that we used to always toss each other work. You develop a signature that you're good at, and make contacts, and you throw those contacts a little work here and there (usually for recognition) and they do the same for you (for recognition) and you both get your names out there.

Tossing each other little tidbits is what really built up the main 3PP back in the day.

And nobody would care that Jake is self-identifying as trans. Hell, I worked with gay people, trans people, furries, what the fuck ever. Nobody really gives that big of a shit who you are away from the keyboard, as long as that shit didn't leak into your work. I had a trans person write a really good article on cross-dressing and trans-sexualism in the post-apocalypse for one of my supplements that made for interesting reading if nothing else.

I think that's why Jake annoys me so much. He (supposedly, I've never read any of his stuff as far as I know) has talent, he has all these contacts, and he does jack and shit with it. Yeah, I burned all my fucking bridges with napalm, salted the ground, then called in an air strike, but I had a psychotic break, and I could probably STILL touch base with some contacts if I started producing again.

Why the fuck doesn't he do something aside from just complain like a motherfucker?

One failed game. Big fucking deal. You pick yourself up, spit the blood on the ground, wipe off your face, dust off your hands, and start working again. EVERYONE has failures.

I don't get why he didn't try to learn any lessons from his failure and use it to make himself stronger.

I mean, hell, if he gets a good presence out there, builds up a following, he could probably sell those games to his fans, or raffle them off, or give them away at a Con, or something.

Hell, he could even repurpose them somehow to fit in with a new product line. Toss the rule-book in the trash, examine the game board and game pieces, and maybe even release something amazing.

Jake, if you're reading this, picture this...

Build up a rep for a guy who writes high level adventures, take your old board game, repackage it as "KIAJU ATTACK!" and insert a module where the PC's try to save a city from a Kiaju at the climatic battle of the module, using the game board and figures. Make it limited edition. Buy a gold glitter pen from Wal-Mart, sign that shit, and build your line slowly to culminate in KIAJU ATTACK! LIMITED EDITION! and BANG! You can make your money back at least.

Fucking do something with your talent and contacts, for fuck's sake.
 
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Hell, if he'd just spent 30 minutes a day learning to code, and 30 schmoozing on Deviantart instead of twitter, he could be the owner of a pile of mobile games or creepy kids' flash games today.
 
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Edit: He really mystifies me in some ways. He's got the writing chops to be on official books and be invited to conventions, but he's never done anything with them. I mean, I shouldn't throw stones since I haven't really produced anything in almost a decade beyond some fun stuff, but he just mystifies me.

He's worked with Paizo, for fuck's sake. He's been invited to the fucking cons on their dime.

Jake wants to get paid to write the same shit he posts on his Twitter account. He hasn't attended a con at someone else's expense for well over a decade, if he ever did (the old Googleshng rants complain about this).

And of course "Violet Hargrave" cannot make any kind of public appearance.
 
Jake wants to get paid to write the same shit he posts on his Twitter account. He hasn't attended a con at someone else's expense for well over a decade, if he ever did (the old Googleshng rants complain about this).

And of course "Violet Hargrave" cannot make any kind of public appearance.
Hell, Violet Hargrave doesn't even HAVE to make public appearances. I know I didn't, except for a few cons up in Seattle, Olympia, Portland, where I was usually half drunk.

Jake could even run dual-ID. Violet Hargrave and Jake Alley Present! type things, where Jake can tell everyone at the Con "Oh, Violet is a very private person, that's why we agreed I'd be the face of the company. Now, is there anything you'd like to ask? Can I interest you in an Iron Gnome Maiden T-shirt?"

Edit: And he can't complain it's his looks. Hell, wash his clothes, buy some pants and a belt, and brush out his beard/polish his head, and he could even go with the "Gaming Uncle" vibe like some of the Old Guard did. Lean back in his chair, fold his hands over his guts, and smile benevolently while nodding. Don't creep on women, don't whine, be polite to fans (whether they're yours of not), don't get drunk and vomit in the bushes, don't invite a female game designer to the strip club to check out titties with you (But go if she invites you), and don't be a fucking sped.

In the game design industry, what you look like doesn't matter.
 
Hell, if he'd just spent 30 minutes a day learning to code, and 30 schmoozing on Deviantart instead of twitter, he could be the owner of a pile of mobile games or creepy kids' flash games today.

Jake is actually so creepy that he's too creepy to do the creepy kids games thing, because even those guys realize he's too creepy for them.
 
Wasn't he kind of on that path of slowly building up a book of gaming business when he fell in with the CON con? It's like hanging around in that exceptional crew truly broke his brain.
 
  • Agree
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That seems to be a common thread. Someone with some creativity gets involved with that shit, the next thing you know, they've stopped doing what they were good at and had a passion for and do nothing but REEEEEEEE all over the internet. Then you never see a glimmer of that creativity again.

Like they're vampires or some shit.
 
That seems to be a common thread. Someone with some creativity gets involved with that shit, the next thing you know, they've stopped doing what they were good at and had a passion for and do nothing but REEEEEEEE all over the internet. Then you never see a glimmer of that creativity again.

Like they're vampires or some shit.

Except there's no evidence that Jake was good at it. He's just turned 37. All he had to show for 15 years as a "game designer" prior to GG was one failed board game and a million excuses for his lack of success.

Even if Jake had actual talent, the glacial pace at which he "works" would be a major obstacle to him ever earning a decent living from his writing. By his own admission, work is his last priority each day and happens only if he's still awake at 6am.
 
"if you live and/or with the person in question" - What? Jake pretends he knows what a relationship is like.
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Continued from https://archive.li/RYF74 Jake is butthurt that the women he stalks won't be his personal army when someone else outs him as a creep.
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Jake got rekt by one of the Paizo troons he stalks. "I plugged it the day it launched! Where have you been?"
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Cow crossover. Rebecca took a photo of a stranger's car, creepy Jake scrambles and acts like he knows what car repairs are like.
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Jake sperged out because someone replied to something off one of his multitudes of retweets (which tags him in) and then they tagged the president's account and Fox News. Nobody directly tweeted at Jake, like 5 people participated in the discussion and this went through the Googleshng as "a dozen nazis" that Jake was forced to block - an arduous task for someone who admittedly spends 10+ hours a day on Twitter each and every day.
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Jake was sperging about Shadowrun and "cool robot arms."
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Jake tried to weigh in on current events.
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