SELECT YOUR CHAMPION

[A Welsh Cake]

6 looks like man who has nothing to lose.

 

[Stock Photo James]

8 looks friendly and enthusiastic. Not that I'd like to meet the guy but nice to see him crack a smile once in a while.

 

[Desire Lines]

Wow, you guys are underrating the fuck out of 7. Look at that contemplating stare. While your crazy madmen are going to run around screaming, 7 is going to smite them all just with a glare

 

[Adolf Von Merkel]

8 look almost healthy.

 

[Captain Smollett]

Number four, his smug grin gives me this unusual feeling...

 

[HY 140]

Number 4, he has the longest beard so he must have a lot of fighting experience.

 

[The Colonel]

4 is getting nerfed next patched.

 

[whatever I feel like]

Two could kick an ass or two.

 

[Graffiti canvas]

Just remember, no matter who you pick, your base load out is:

• Pants Shitting - 100% crit chance however Tommy's left with a waddling movement debuff for the rest of the day.
  
• Dog Fucking - Gives Tommy a 10% chance of acquiring either a disease debuff, or a flea ridden bitch follower
  
• Child Molesting - Aggros everyone in a 1000' radius
  
• Rock Throwing - Limitless casting ability, but only can attack a short distance.

You can also swap out one of those for a shitty minstrel/bard type ability that casts a really low level Repel in a 20' radius.

 

[Mr. Poker in the Front Liquor in the Rear]

Don't let me down #4!!!

 

[Positron]

Tommy can play Robin Williams in Halloween parties.

#2 has that Slavoj Žižek charm that is hard to resist.

 

[Mr. Duck]

4 seems like a cool dude.

 

[Barrister]

8's raised eyebrow suggests he knows something the rest do not. Definitely my top pick.

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

I think # 8 is the latest incarnation of the Buddha.

 

[DrJonesHat]

#7 looks like he was so stoned, he just wandered into the police station and started talking to the cops. He's got my vote. Stoners amuse me.

 

[Gorgar]

View attachment 387513

2 would win because he has strong tentacles.

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

I'll take number 8, he looks like he knows something the others don't, like which one of his mother's brother is his dad.

 

[Toasty]

2 looks like he has no idea where or even who he is, but that's just a clever ruse to hide the powerful tentacles. Tom will kill

 

[TiggerNits]

1 looks the healthiest/less ravaged by hepatitis, so my money is on him

 

[Fleeb]

Each of them have a unique set of abilities. I propose an Oceans 11 style heist