September 2013 facebook leak

[Varis]

I only had a short while to read over this leak, but here's my input:

1. Bob's death didn't make it to the trauma list?

2. Tiffany, or someone who kind of looks like her, was friends with Chris a few weeks ago. I don't remember her married name, but some other gal-pals have her on their list. Do some FB sleuthing and you can find her. Disregard that, I suck cocks.

3. Chris doesn't realize that with all the homo thoughts he keeps fighting, he is constantly popping up on Magi-chan's gaydar.

 

[Ruckersvillian]

This has to be one of the most pathetic things I've read recently, if not ever. "Tiffany Gowen, where are you? I'm so lost"? Building a Lego Manchester High School? Being butthurt thirteen years later because he didn't win a star pin for his "accomplishments" and "art" and because it rained on graduation day?

It rained on my graduation day too. My class had its graduation in the school's gym. It kinda sucked, but somehow, my life has continued to have meaning.

Anyway, there's a delicious irony to reading screencaps of Chris desperately trying to reconnect with his Manchester High "family". It so happens that this weekend was my class reunion for the high school in Greene. My classmates - surprise! - have actually moved on with their lives since high school.

I had a great time. But speaking as someone who has actually attended their reunion, Chris has so built up the event in his mind that he's bound to be disappointed when he isn't retroactively rewarded the title of Manchester High B.M.O.C.

Also:

From this moment, I loathe ALL Charlottesville and Ruckersville "Police"; God Damned Jerkops!!!

This lack of respect for authority is what will likely cause Chris to eventually fly off the handle and get in real trouble. I'm not sure there's an accident waiting for a place to happen more than an entitled Veruca Salt with a grudge and a problem with authority.

 

[Kamen Rider Black RX]

It's the boy's upbringing. Chris has been coddled by his parents. His school, most likely not wanting to deal with those shits, let him slide. He learned nothing from being fired by Wendy's. When life kicks you in the balls, either learn to block the kick or wear a cup. Chris hasn't done either, he just runs back to the tolerant embrace of his asspatters while flipping the bird.

If Chris came to cry on my shoulder, I would be like

(Throws Canadian pennies)

 

[tehpope]

1. Bob's death didn't make it to the trauma list?

Nope.

 

[Ruckersvillian]

1. Bob's death didn't make it to the trauma list?

That's a really good point. Chris dwells so much on stupid shit from high school or petty perceived slights, but he doesn't even bother to add to the list something that may count as a genuine "hurtful moment" in his life: his father's death.

 

[_blank_]

1. Bob's death didn't make it to the trauma list?

That's a really good point. Chris dwells so much on stupid shit from high school or petty perceived slights, but he doesn't even bother to add to the list something that may count as a genuine "hurtful moment" in his life: his father's death.

Just kinda encapulates just how self-centered he is.

Things that he has decided were a wrong directly against him = trauma / molestation / raping.

Losing a loved one = just happens...?

But hey, at least he made a minifig for his departed father! Now he (Angel Lumberjack) can join Chris as some kind of imprisoned ethereal being while Chrissy plays imaginary ice cream social with his high school galpal / Voodoo Figures.

...shit, now I'm depressed thinking about it.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Chris seems to be losing his grasp on reality.

This message was lost in the time void and has just now arrived from 1987.

Bob's death didn't make it to the trauma list?

Bob's death only matters insomuch as it makes life more difficult for Chris. More chores, less vidya time, etc. I honestly doubt it has ever occurred to Chris how Bob might have felt about the fact that he knew he was dying. And if he did, this is how he would imagine Bob's thought process: "I gotta stick around for Chrishun! He don't need them responsibilities and stressful tortures! He's suffered for now-greater-than-five-years and needs to complete his love quest to get his sweetheart from the ground up!" Chris cannot put himself in anyone's shoes but his own.

The only thing that will ever help Chris is permanent amnesia. He will never ever let go of the past. He has to start fresh. 1982-2013 need to just be washed from his mind.

 

[Ruckersvillian]

I'm not sure that would even solve the problem. He'd still be an entitled manchild with a persecution complex and the mentality of a two year old. You'd just no longer have the sad, sad tale of how Chris is abused and mistreated by the world.

 

[Ron_Swanson]

The only thing that will ever help Chris is permanent amnesia. He will never ever let go of the past. He has to start fresh. 1982-2013 need to just be washed from his mind.

Eternal Sunshine of the Autistic Mind

 

[snowkitten91]

Bob's death only matters insomuch as it makes life more difficult for Chris. More chores, less vidya time, etc. I honestly doubt it has ever occurred to Chris how Bob might have felt about the fact that he knew he was dying. And if he did, this is how he would imagine Bob's thought process: "I gotta stick around for Chrishun! He don't need them responsibilities and stressful tortures! He's suffered for now-greater-than-five-years and needs to complete his love quest to get his sweetheart from the ground up!" Chris cannot put himself in anyone's shoes but his own.

Makes me wonder how much little will OPL care about Barb leaving for that great hoard in the sky after some time has passed and he has been able to enjoy his freedom from 's tight leash (if he hasn't been imprisoned/locked away due to getting in trouble with a Jerkop by then).

 

[Ignatius]

OK. I will bite, what's up with the newspaper comics on the pictures?

Also, about searching the locker, Chris was in high school when the Columbine massacre happened, right? Could be that he was regarded as a potential menace?

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Makes me wonder how much little will OPL care about Barb leaving for that great hoard in the sky after some time has passed and he has been able to enjoy his freedom from 's tight leash (if he hasn't been imprisoned/locked away due to getting in trouble with a Jerkop by then).

He would only care about her death because it would make him lonelier and completely on his own. I think he likes her because she is his codependent victim commiseration pal. She legitimizes his insane stupidity and EVEN SHE THINKS HE'S HANDSOME! But I don't think he loves her. I don't think Chris loves anything but Chris. A few months after she dies, when the dust settles and he becomes somebody else's burden, I doubt he'll miss her much. He'll only miss her as an advocate, which she never ever really was.

 

[Billpalazzo-sama]

Also, about searching the locker, Chris was in high school when the Columbine massacre happened, right? Could be that he was regarded as a potential menace?

I think a more likely explanation is that his locker was kept in a similar state of organization to his room, and the teachers forced him to clean it out.

 

[MysticMisty]

Seeing as how one of them was being confirmed as taken at McDonald's (the one with Lego angel Bob), I think most of those pictures with the newspaper was taken at McDonald's. Chris naturally only reads the comics (and stress sighs about how Sonichu should be one of them), then brings the rest home for the dogs to piss and shit on. Wonder how long he sat around playing with his Legos in McDonald's. Did he talk out loud when he did it? Fuck that would have been weird.

Also I'm willing to bet that the kids who resented him in middle school were his special ed classmates that he would've openly hated.

 

[Varis]

Now that you mention that. Anna is a high functioning autistic?

Before Anna / the next white knight tries to shame us for hating autistics, I want to mention that we have a thread full of comments by people who dislike Anna for her personality. No condition she has will make that better or worse.

I think she has Aspergers, at worst.

 

[Dig]

is that a glass top coffee table? What are those gold MANOS?

I saw that but I didn't know how to bring it up! Wtf IS that?

The gold hands belong to Pandora's Box. It came with the special edition of God of War 3. I think it also came with an art book. Figures he'd use a collector's item to prop up his lego house.

 

[Sonichoo]

I guess we can't say Chris NEVER learns anything. It looks like he used the word 'naïve' correctly in his post on Sept 18th.
That said, wow, these screencaps reveal some batshit-crazy stuff. It's stuff like this that keeps me coming back to the forums. Thanks Marvin!

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

I love the continued used of "theoretical girlfriend." Girlfriends are the new dark matter.

Wow, this entire link was . . . hilarious? Depressing? Somehow aggravating, hysterical and woeful all at once? I have to admit that I snorted when I read, "Tiffany Gowen, where are you?" That's the summit of Mount Saint Pathetic right there. Fuck, I can't remember some of the names of people I dated in high school, much less somebody I only ate lunch with, but here's Chris, chugging along like an autistic poo-choo train, trying to round up all his gal-pals so he can have a few fleeting moments of imagined happiness. And what happens, I wonder, when he finally succumbs to the realization that it won't happen?

(Hint: )

And I know that if I walked into a McDonald's and found a grown man playing with Legos at a table, I'd probably back away slowly, get back into my car, and drive until I found the nearest on-ramp back onto the interstate.

 

[Ron_Swanson]

This cracked me up:

OF COURSE he has to update to iOS7 the second it becomes available, only to whine about it right away. I wonder if he even knew what the update was going to do, or if he just mashed OK when prompted and whined because the phone shut down to update. Also, changing the wallpaper to something that allows the time to be read easier? Unthinkable!

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Chris sure is a loser.