Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[Chan Fan]

There was a kid I was in either 4th or 5th grade with who had some kind of behavioral problem, though I never heard anyone say exactly what it was. He would just yell and raise his voice or smart off to the teacher but never really looked mad, so it came off as being funny instead of scary. He got in trouble every day for it. One day we had a male substitute teacher (regular teacher was female) and the kid got even weirder around him, saying he was going to run out of class and at one point literally made a run for the door. The sub ran over, quick as lightning, caught him and nearly tackled him to the ground. The kid full-on sperged out, started yelling but the teacher didn't let up and held onto him. It was one of the most shocking things I'd ever seen (at that age, of course.) The sub was unable to teach anything and just had to deal with this kid's behavioral issues the entire day. I didn't see him for a while after that but he was back in class eventually. The sub left a glowing note about how the rest of the class didn't give him any trouble so the teacher told the rest of us how good we were and she was proud of us. As a kid I didn't understand why he was allowed to remain in class with the rest of us when he couldn't behave, especially since our school was "zero tolerance," but I think he helped fit a quota or something and that was probably why.

 

[Win98SE]

School bully killed himself. I was invited to speak at some event that was held in his memory because we were seen "talking a lot". When I refused, they put me in grief counseling, thinking I was taking it too hard and was at risk myself. After much pressing, I finally had to say that when we were seen "talking", he was calling me a faggot or just being an asshole, and that I never had a conversation with him outside of these interactions. Additionally, I had to explain that the school-wide reaction to his death wasn't shock, but relief that he wouldn't be harassing everyone and disrupting class all the time.

Shocking TBH. Nobody gave a shit. Even teachers avoided the topic. It blew over in less than a week.

 

[Chan Fan]

One of my friends in 5th grade told me his twin brother (who was in another class but definitely existed) had sex with his neighbor's dog and the dog had puppies that looked like his brother

 

[Pissmaster]

A friend of mine asked me to borrow my copy of Pokémon Emerald. I had a legitimate Deoxys on it that I was rather attached to so I told him not to save over my file.

He did.

A friend of mine nuked my nearly-completed Banjo-Kazooie save when I let her borrow my cart.

That game is hard as shit near the end, too.

 

[Broseph]

A friend of mine nuked my nearly-completed Banjo-Kazooie save when I let her borrow my cart.

That game is hard as shit near the end, too.

Your friend was a cunt.

My sister did the same thing to my Mario 64 save when I almost had all 120 stars, which took me around 2 years to do since I was a kid back then, but TBH my sister was an idiot who didn't know what the fuck she was doing.

 

[Coolio55]

I was that one little fucker in primary school who borrowed a game and never gave it back. EVEN after the friend I borrowed it from divulged information about which of the Spiderman learn to read books based on the third movie featured him getting the black suit.
If you want Spyro: Season of Ice back, you can have it my friend.

The worst part is that the game sucked complete donkey balls. I guess that's why he never actually asked for it back.
A sour reward for my horrible sin.

I remember a bunch of kids pulling that but the one that stands out is that the kid told the truth. It wasn't his uncle though, it was his mothers new boyfriend who had given him the unreleased Super Nintendo. A genius move for someone targeting young recently divorced single mothers in the early 90's, bribe the kid with something no one else can provide. The kid was not popular at school, overlooked and easily forgotten describes him perfectly, so no one immediately marched to his house to see if it was true when he said it, no one even reacted. But he actually had the PAL Super Nintendo and Mario World a couple of months before release, I know this is true because I later went by his house for the first time ever to copy a cd to tape and noticed that he had a SNES.
Over the next few years he got a lot of hard to get hold of things from his mothers new boyfriends. Maybe she was really hot, maybe they were molesting him.

Eh' as far as I know that's sort of normal behaviour for boyfriends of divorced with children women. The kid is gonna have legitimate feelings on the subject so it's best to get the little fucker to like you so any potential minefields are avoided.

 

[CrystalRoserade]

Got another story from either high school or middle school, which is where most of my memories of school are from, because god knows elementary school was awful for me.

I once let a guy borrow my Kingdom Hearts manga (i embrace any autistic ratings i get just for that alone) that I got for Christmas the year before.. Big mistake on my part, since it took at least a few months for the guy to return them to me, and they were in horrible condition when he finally did. Ended up not letting people borrow my stuff after that.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

Re: borrowing games. I had a girl (we were not really friends, but had mutual friend who left school and so hanged out) take two of my games and return them scratched enough to be dead ("best" thing is how one of them was part of a pricey multiple-game "nostalgic" pack that I cannot replace to this day) - as it turned out later, she just left her CDs box-free in a pile on the table top, and did the same to mine.

Big mistake on my part, since it took at least a few months for the guy to return them to me, and they were in horrible condition when he finally did.

I am kind of afraid to ask just how horrible.

 

[CrystalRoserade]

I am kind of afraid to ask just how horrible.

They weren't too dirty or anything, but I ended up having to tape the covers of both volumes so the covers could stay on. According to him they somehow got on his roof. Fuck if I remember why or how.

 

[Chan Fan]

They weren't too dirty or anything, but I ended up having to tape the covers of both volumes so the covers could stay on. According to him they somehow got on his roof. Fuck if I remember why or how.

I had this happen with a school friend, too. I let him borrow two VHS tapes and the tapes were okay but the cases has been torn apart. I was like "What did you do to them?" and he looked at me with a straight face and said I let him borrow them in that condition. I was pretty insulted, as if I didn't remember lending them to him in perfect shape. Then I asked if he had rats in his house because it had tiny bite marks everywhere. Turns out he had two very small dogs and when I was like "Your dogs ate the cases off of my tapes" he was shocked and replied "my dogs would never do something like that" (yeah, one of those people) and anyway he didn't offer to replace them and never apologized, just handed them to me and took no responsibility and I've been weird about letting people borrow stuff ever since.

 

[Broseph]

Not Pokemon, but I knew a kid like that in middle school who would make shit up about games all the time as well.

Said he unlocked Luigi in Mario 64. When I asked to see his save file of it, it was mysteriously deleted. Also said he had a rare prototype cart of Ocarina of Time where you fought Aghanim instead of Ganon that his uncle who worked at Nintendo gave him. Never could prove anything when questioned.

When I was in the 5th grade I shared P.E. with this 6th grader kid who claimed that his brother modded his Playstation so that he could skip past all the loading screens in his games, and if he ever put any Japanese games in his system it "magically" translated everything into English. He also said that his brother "made his own Playstation games" and that he made his own Tekken game that had every single character in the game, as well as every character from Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter. I asked him to bring the game to school to prove it but of course he made up some bullshit excuse that "it were his brother's game and he'd have to ask him" to which he never followed up with.

And since this was way back when the Phantom Menace had just came out, he told me that the reason why everyone hated Jar Jar Binks was because he "looked too much like a cartoon character that somebody else had made" and that was why they were planning on killing him off in the second movie so that way George Lucas wouldn't get sued.

I think I only ever talked to this kid like two times ever, I don't even remember his name or anything about him other than he was an unhealthy looking chubby kid who always had very dark bags under his eyes.

 

[Hate]

So this 5'4" shrimp thought he was cool and want to prove it so he took a bunch of molly during class and gulped it down with some vodka some girl snuck in to class.

As you'd expect, he was unresponsive and the school had to call the paramedics. I'm not sure whether he was expelled or just switched schools on his own, but the girl who snuck in vodka only got a 2 day suspension, even though she involuntarily almost killed the guy.

 

[Agoodpotroast]

In high school during a senior prank day, someone (still don't know who) glued all of the classroom doors closed and it was super annoying because they wouldn't let anyone go home while the janitors had to individually unclog every lock.

 

[Broseph]

In college I had a class with this really strange and extremely unlikable guy. Every damn day he was dressed in vintage leisure suits made of corduroy or crushed velvet.

So something like this:

Every day. In all the hideous 70s color palettes you can imagine. I have no idea what he was thinking. But it looked so ludicrous that there's no way he wasn't aware of how other people viewed his wardrobe choices.

He was also way misogynistic. In a real douchebag sort of way that he'd try to pass off as being perfectly acceptable. This was an anthropology class (pre SJW explosion). And when the professor, who was a woman, would talk about women's roles in different societies he liked to interject his viewpoints on how American women needed to do the same. So imagine a curly haired dork in horn rimmed glasses and dressed like we're still in the Ford administration who liked to make it be known as much as possible that women belonged in the kitchen. He also liked the idea of polygamy. There was no way in hell this guy was even gonna get one girl let alone several.

So one day I come into class and the professor hasn't arrived yet. Leisure Suit Loser is sitting at a desk dressed in a burgundy corduroy number with lapels out to here. And he's got a whole bunch of sketches laid out over several other desks. There was no way they weren't meant to be on display for all to see. He probably was hoping someone would ask him about them. But no one did. They just sort of avoided that part of the room the best they could.

So what was on the sketches? UFOs and aliens. Just pages and pages of them. I guess that was his thing. The whole package was just unbelievable. He was a true recipe for permanent virginhood.

That sperg was an even bigger incel in college than Chris.

 

[Broseph]

I went to middle school with this autistic sped named John. He was this angry ginger who constantly did stupid shit all the time and got in trouble for it. He was in my art class in the 6th grade and one time he claimed that he "worked part-time" at the local video game store in town, even tho I went in there all the time back then and I never saw him in there, and even then I knew that no small business would ever hire a 12 year old.

The stupidest thing he ever did tho was when my class was waiting for our teacher to escort us back to homeroom and this fucking mongo decided to run down the hall and dropkick the water fountain. It made a very weird sound when he kicked it so he freaked out and ran away to hide because he thought he broke it, but of course the other kids snitched on him and told the teacher what he did. I don't know what his punishment was tho.

He left my school for a year or two and then he came back in the 8th grade but he was a fucking wigger.

 

[Chan Fan]

I went with to school with a girl non-consecutively during my entire school experience who I'll call Annie for this story. In 4th and 5th grade we became really close friends and stayed the night at each other's houses a few times, which was always pleasant. Unfortunately for her she developed early and had huge breasts and kids (especially boys) were really mean to her about it. Annie's mom had...problems. She would purposely buy Annie clothes than accentuated her breasts but wouldn't buy her a bra so gym class was really difficult for her, not to mention embarrassing.

Annie was a really nice person but extremely naive. Her dad was this very nice, very normal guy who didn't seem at all like someone her controlling weirdo mom would be into. Annie got a boyfriend in 5th grade and her mom legit started planning dates for the two of them (one of which they actually went on) but the boy broke up with her a few weeks later and Annie said her mom cried and wouldn't get out of bed all day after Annie told her. Keep in mind these kids were 11 at the time. She also once made the statement, "My grandmother controls my mom and my mom controls me" with such passivity it was startling. Another thing about Annie was she extremely forgetful, which comes into play shortly.

They moved away (Annie didn't even tell me, she was just gone) then moved back a few years later for our senior year of high school. Her mom would buy really gaudy clothes for her and she told me she had basically no choice but to wear them. One day she came to school in a denim bodysuit that showed a few inches of cleavage. Trying to catch up on the lost years I asked how her mom and dad were and she said, "I think he did it on purpose." I asked what she meant and she said her dad was dead and it was declared an accident but she said she thought he did it on purpose to get away from her mom. Never got any more clarity about that so who knows was really happened. One day in class she realized she forgot her purse in another class and freaked out and just kept making these weird breathing sounds and our teacher finally asked what was wrong and was like, "Is anything important in the purse?" and Annie blurted out, "Yeah, the keys to a $60,000 dollar car!" and sat there breathing weird until the teacher told her to go to her last class and see if her purse was there and it was.

I didn't see her after graduation until I was a few years into college, she told me she wanted to be a counselor. Last I heard she had been "dating" a guy who refused to pay for her food at restaurants and her best friend was this creepy controlling girl who claimed she worshiped the devil.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

I went with to school with a girl non-consecutively during my entire school experience who I'll call Annie for this story. In 4th and 5th grade we became really close friends and stayed the night at each other's houses a few times, which was always pleasant. Unfortunately for her she developed early and had huge breasts and kids (especially boys) were really mean to her about it. Annie's mom had...problems. She would purposely buy Annie clothes than accentuated her breasts but wouldn't buy her a bra so gym class was really difficult for her, not to mention embarrassing.

Annie was a really nice person but extremely naive. Her dad was this very nice, very normal guy who didn't seem at all like someone her controlling weirdo mom would be into. Annie got a boyfriend in 5th grade and her mom legit started planning dates for the two of them (one of which they actually went on) but the boy broke up with her a few weeks later and Annie said her mom cried and wouldn't get out of bed all day after Annie told her. Keep in mind these kids were 11 at the time. She also once made the statement, "My grandmother controls my mom and my mom controls me" with such passivity it was startling. Another thing about Annie was she extremely forgetful, which comes into play shortly.

They moved away (Annie didn't even tell me, she was just gone) then moved back a few years later for our senior year of high school. Her mom would buy really gaudy clothes for her and she told me she had basically no choice but to wear them. One day she came to school in a denim bodysuit that showed a few inches of cleavage. Trying to catch up on the lost years I asked how her mom and dad were and she said, "I think he did it on purpose." I asked what she meant and she said her dad was dead and it was declared an accident but she said she thought he did it on purpose to get away from her mom. Never got any more clarity about that so who knows was really happened. One day in class she realized she forgot her purse in another class and freaked out and just kept making these weird breathing sounds and our teacher finally asked what was wrong and was like, "Is anything important in the purse?" and Annie blurted out, "Yeah, the keys to a $60,000 dollar car!" and sat there breathing weird until the teacher told her to go to her last class and see if her purse was there and it was.

I didn't see her after graduation until I was a few years into college, she told me she wanted to be a counselor. Last I heard she had been "dating" a guy who refused to pay for her food at restaurants and her best friend was this creepy controlling girl who claimed she worshiped the devil.

And this is why I believe lolcowdom is hereditary.

 

[DinnerDog]

This kid I was hanging out with in the playground got stung by a nettle so I pointed to a dock leaf and told him to rub it on the area cos I heard they neutralise nettle stings but it turned out to be another nettle and it stung him again

 

[Broseph]

There was this black kid at my high school who got suspended after he was caught on camera going into the girl's locker room while a PE class was going on and walking out with a handful of shoes and socks.

There was this really dumb black kid at my school named Paulo who got busted by a female teacher when he tried following some girls into the girls room. He probably thought he was being pretty slick but he just a fucking idiot.

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

That sperg was an even bigger incel in college than Chris.

Not gonna lie, I'd wear any of those suits if I could grow a glorious 70s porno stache to go with them.