💼 Careercow SHiFT / @shiftposting - Angriest speedrunner on earth. 20,000 hours spent playing one SpongeBob game. Frequently rages until his voice gets blown out.

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depth tester said:
Oh boy he just dropped a new video.
View attachment 8114628

To note, I wrote these while watching, he was all over the place in this video.


I'm not having fun streaming lately.
Mentions subathon crashout.
Yapping about Christmas subathon going well.
I was balancing having fun and raging back then.
Complaining about Twitch.
My hands have been hurting.
I didn't eat for 21 hours in a day, and then only eat in the 3 left. (???)
Fasting was helping me focus.
I realized the fasting was putting stress on my body. (wow)
Multistreaming has hurt my streaming abilities.
Too many chats to manage.
Too many stupid young people making accounts to troll me.
"I want to start enjoying streaming again. Having a good time."
"Getting sub 40 is the most important thing in the world to me."
I have to deal with the grind to get the record.
Peoples' attention spans are lower now and struggle to watch my grind.
Shutting down Youtube and Kick chat (sub only mode) so I don't have to watch them.
Don't concern troll me by asking if I'm okay. It's just always been this way.
Quick water sip.
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We've always managed to have fun on the stream.
This isn't content to me.
I'm trying.
"Speedrunning at this level is not enjoyable."
Things will be easier with one chat.
I improved my chat tools.
You might get banned on Twitch if you don't know how to act.
New Spongebob game has cruise boosting.
I won't speedrun the new game.
I might play it, but I won't speedrun it.
The mindset is different on speedrunning a new game compared to old game I've played for 20,000 hours.
I hope to bring more attention to the new game.
Let's get back to doing good stuff.
Maybe I'll do a no hit run for a game.
The documentary for sub 40 will be crazy!
I'm doing okay, my personal life is fine, and I want to enjoy streaming again as much as I enjoy life.
Click to expand...
PreserveTube backup
 
depth tester said:
Oh boy he just dropped a new video.
View attachment 8114628

To note, I wrote these while watching, he was all over the place in this video.


I'm not having fun streaming lately.
Mentions subathon crashout.
Yapping about Christmas subathon going well.
I was balancing having fun and raging back then.
Complaining about Twitch.
My hands have been hurting.
I didn't eat for 21 hours in a day, and then only eat in the 3 left. (???)
Fasting was helping me focus.
I realized the fasting was putting stress on my body. (wow)
Multistreaming has hurt my streaming abilities.
Too many chats to manage.
Too many stupid young people making accounts to troll me.
"I want to start enjoying streaming again. Having a good time."
"Getting sub 40 is the most important thing in the world to me."
I have to deal with the grind to get the record.
Peoples' attention spans are lower now and struggle to watch my grind.
Shutting down Youtube and Kick chat (sub only mode) so I don't have to watch them.
Don't concern troll me by asking if I'm okay. It's just always been this way.
Quick water sip.
View attachment 8114561
We've always managed to have fun on the stream.
This isn't content to me.
I'm trying.
"Speedrunning at this level is not enjoyable."
Things will be easier with one chat.
I improved my chat tools.
You might get banned on Twitch if you don't know how to act.
New Spongebob game has cruise boosting.
I won't speedrun the new game.
I might play it, but I won't speedrun it.
The mindset is different on speedrunning a new game compared to old game I've played for 20,000 hours.
I hope to bring more attention to the new game.
Let's get back to doing good stuff.
Maybe I'll do a no hit run for a game.
The documentary for sub 40 will be crazy!
I'm doing okay, my personal life is fine, and I want to enjoy streaming again as much as I enjoy life.
Click to expand...
Local Archive:
 
Will he ever figure out that he doesn't actually need to do this everyday of his waking life and that nobody will ultimately care in the end?

Or even that other video games exist and he can go enjoy those instead?
 
Spectate said:
A few days ago a random 100 subscriber YouTuber named UglyDixieChicken made a video on SHiFT.
View attachment 8114265
Just one problem: It literally copies the OP of this thread :story:
As expected, 0 credit given to KF.
Click to expand...
the thing that these guys who make these videos dont understand is that his backstory is not important to what makes him funny as a lolcow,
it really just is the clips of him tard raging, i think only %20 of that video was actually SHiFT.
the best advice i can give to any future content creators reading this is let the clips speak for themselves. if you want to convey how difficult the run is show him fucking up the downtown cannon over and over. dont use the op as a template, like his first subathon was not really that important to his lore that it should be considered a chapter in his story or whatever.
you have really just exposed yourself as a shitty story teller if you rely this much on someone else's work
shout out.JPG

He did at least shout me out so big up's cowtuber!
 
Pineapple Sandwich said:
Good one tonight so far rage might be back on the menu soon but he has to lecture his viewers on how he's not appreciated enough first


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He's like a Bizarro Andrew WK who's relentlessly negative and hates to party.
depth tester said:
View attachment 8112496
TOTAL KEYBOARD DEATH

edit: must have fucked up his hands a little lol
View attachment 8112506
came back with what looks like a paper towel
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I Have No Mouse And I Must Stream
 
Quandale Octavius Dingle said:
Total Keyboard Death
View attachment 8114041
Jesus man if only I knew discovering this guy in 2017 what a fucking disaster it'd become. This is a Bossman tier crash out.
https://twitchtracker.com/shift/statistics
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Almost 30,000 hours in the Bob game (not counting off stream) over nearly 10 years.
Spikes from the front page placement and whenever a new Spongebob game comes out but it looks like viewership on average went down by 30 to 50 percent starting in late 2022, early 2023. Not ever considering the big Sub-A-Thon where all the paypigs came out to bankroll thousands of dollars on the Spongebob movie game and the Incredibles game. Down from a 250-300 viewer average to 150-200.
I don't even remember where in the timeline all the tard rage started but these last few years and especially this year it's really ramped up. I think it started getting worse probably around when the old Goo Cage clip was added into runs around 2019. Before that all the other dogshit tricks like the time challenge skips and out of bounds stuff in Sand Mountain caused a lot of seething and only got worse the more convoluted the setup and execution got.
I'm probably just rambling but it's just interesting to try pinpointing at what point someone went over the edge.
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i think some of the fundamentals in speedrunning deathspirals are the general attitude, ie they don't want to be *a* sperg who beat a game in a *good* time, they want to be *the* sperg who beats the game in the *best* time, however it's not done in a way of something like, say, skateboarding, where the information is freely out there but you have to just have enough balls to hold a halfpipe one handed, or retard ingenuity you share, and patience to fail, it's instead like the food industry where techniques are secret and hidden and you have to send nudes to some guy to get a locked zipfile or some shit. or there'll be like 2 people doing weird, voodoo shit through walls on the recorded stream of an old game and it's just never explained at all besides maybe on a deleted discord.

so you'll have people that'll say it makes sense to keep magic tricks secret to get views/popularity, but then they 1. already can't transfer a base skillset from speedrunning, like, little big planet to gta, then 2. will quickly lose interest of changing because of how fucking much a pain in the ass it is to go to another game and have to find forbidden lore for how to glitch through a wall or cutscene, or how to optimally close a fuckin menu or some shit. so they become a complete, literal, one trick pony.

this inevitably makes them tard rage or escalates their prior tism fits, start banning anybody who DARES mentions just taking a break, playing fuckin ANYTHING else, and they can't do anything about it. shift can't even transfer his skillset to a remake of the same game. their entire identity and life just becomes gta or spongebob, they have illusions of being an important figure or having a community, but they don't, because if they did they could afk and talk and have fans. they could play anything else and even be a borderline failure and have fans.

but people like shift just actively mald to a almost genuinely scary degree, like shift, if you keep a stream of him in the background, you hear constant spongebob sound effects, then what appears to be post-cuck breakup suicidal moist critikal responding to such interesting questions as "how is your car today" or some shit, before loading a save to do a glitch, failing to perfect the glitch, restarting the game, rapid bubble/spongebob sound effects, reloading the save, attempting the glitch, same outcome, then around 3+ hours of this process he gradually stops answering anything besides "SHUT the FUCK up, you DONT UNDERSTAND THE PROCESS, FUCKING IDIOT, RETARD, TRASH SCUM KILL YOURSELF, FUCKING BAN THEM NOW", then making guttural animal noises, MAYBE some bonus points for breaking shit real late in the stream, some "i dont want to live anymore i can't do the jump skip in spongebob after 20 years, my entire life is this game, i don't have friends i have spongebob, i don't have a gf i have spongebob, i don't have christmas with family i have spongebob, im going to cobain, im going to escape tent, fuck you all" then tomorrow it just starts from the top. and he's not even exceptional, that's basically every long haul speedrunner, even if their retardation is just a slightly different flavor like viperau
 
Controllers last a month of normal play before breaking or degrading.
Most recent record was achieved on day two of using today's controller, a controller that had stick drift and a faux trigger even during the record run, a controller that has just died.
controller.png
Shearing plastic, "today's gonna be a weird day," screws clicking, soft tongue clicking- so oddly kino. So hypnotizing.

Self-conscious and contemplative enough to call out faggy-alogs but not enough to avoid feeding the trolls. What an endearing lolcow.
 
Last edited:
Orphaned Punk said:
Controllers last a month of normal play before breaking or degrading.
Most recent record was achieved on day two of using today's controller, a controller that had stick drift and a faux trigger even during the record run, a controller that has just died.
View attachment 8115875View attachment 8115858
Shearing plastic, "today's gonna be a weird day," screws clicking, soft tongue clicking- so oddly kino. So hypnotizing.
Click to expand...
I'll never understand speedrunner's retardation about "original hardware" in general when these days emulators are so accurate and that "original hardware" they circlejerk over gets less and less reliable due to age.
But you're retarded when you're burning through several 20 year old controllers every month instead of just getting an adapter to use a newer, better controller that doesn't fucking drift or break down, like a Gilikit or 8bitduo controller. Which surprise! Also has replaceable parts if you break it in a tard rage. Fun fact. The 2001 Xbox's controller ports are just usb 1.1 with a proprietary connector.
Slightly off topic sperg but I just watched a whole ass documentary about the N64 steel sticks and the many failed successors to create a more durable bespoke part for a niche market. Which is an admirable goal. But monumentally stupid that the degenerate autistic tranny retards who make the rules for others will tell you it's against their rules to use a newer controller with an affordable adapter while they circlejerk again about how they paid $700 on ebay for a 1 of 300 steel stick controller, or how they break several pieces of decades old tech a month in their quest to be the fastest.
 
Quandale Octavius Dingle said:
I'll never understand speedrunner's retardation about "original hardware" in general when these days emulators are so accurate and that "original hardware" they circlejerk over gets less and less reliable due to age.
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IIRC, there is not a good enough emulator for the original Xbox, so the only emulator you can really use is Dolphin which is a Wii Emulator.

The Wii is the slowest way to play the game because it has 10 minute longer load times. It's not even elitism about hardware, they already jumped that bridge when they switched from disks to HDD, it's literally just the only way to play the game competitively.

Yet another reason as for why BFBB is the most dreadful speedgame.
 
Long Dong Silver 2025 said:
Will he ever figure out that he doesn't actually need to do this everyday of his waking life and that nobody will ultimately care in the end?

Or even that other video games exist and he can go enjoy those instead?
Click to expand...
It's a sunk cost thing. What he doesn't seem to get is that there's enormous precedent for speedrunners who plan to quit the game after they accomplish their "final" goal only to come back refreshed and usually better than before. Retard could easily go and do something else for a bit.
 
tens of thousands of hours, on some absolute dogshit childrens game?
id understand if he was some loser who put that many hours in some MMO or csgo/cs2, but this is just mental illness.
 
I think i found my new favourite lolcow, i've been laughing for 10 minutes at his tard rages, there's something so incredibly enthralling about some guy putting blood and sweat, losing his mind on a task that is ultimately meaningless by choice, a complete hell of his own making where the only demons and screams of the damned are the bubble sound effects and laughs of a funny yellow square.

One must imagine Sisyphus happy.
 
I remember playing this game on my Nintendo Switch. The Patrick boss fight was a really tough but I managed to beat it in 20 hours.
Why has it taken this guy over 20,000 hours? Does he know for the streets level you can play as Sandy?
 
I discovered shift by his history of speedrunning SpongeBob videos years ago, wild to see him like this, but great rage content 10/10 perfect seethe.
 
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