Shit that reminds you that you’re getting old - Re: Fwd: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Fwd: Damn young’uns

Waking up and getting out of bed hurts.

I don’t understand the Youth and the things they enjoy or say.

New music sucks fucking ass.

Nobody knows how to just shut up and enjoy a silent tranquil moment anymore.

Making and completing plans is more rewarding than thrills.

My stomach is upset all the fucking time.

The gradual but inevitable creep of hair loss.

The knowledge that I’ll need to start getting things like endoscopies soon.

Young people are the stupidest organisms living on the planet and they need to have concepts requiring critical thinking explained to them as one would a toddler.

People ringing me up call me “sir”.

Movies in the theater are too fucking loud.

I can’t sleep through the night without having to piss.

EDIT: oh, and I can’t have any stimulants after noon or else I won’t sleep until 3 AM. Getting old sucks, go out in a blaze of glory when you’re twenty-five instead.
 
Toppix is a godsend. It only works if you still have some hair, ofc. But I do feel more confident without my bald spot.
That’s the one I’m most okay with because I’m a misanthropic hobo who doesn’t care about his appearance. I used to shave my head when I was younger and my partner hated it; now I have the perfect excuse to walk around blinding people with my pasty white shiny dome, up yours children.
 
Truly it was the year that the internet and popular culture were democratized, and for those observing, proved democracy's non-viability as a long-term governance strategy.
How the fuck is centralized control by maybe a half-dozen corporations "democracy" in any sense of the word?
 
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I was around when Blockbuster was at its peak in the 2000s. while im not old whatsoever, I do miss going to these with my mom and renting the resident evil movies.

LMAO those movies sucked, the games however were A1 even back then

  • We're closer to 2040 than 1990.
  • All the "hip" or "rebellious" subcultures I observed back in the day are old and lame now.
  • My first (ex) gf is probably almost done with medical school, assuming she did the standard Bachelor's -> Med -> Residency path.
  • Nick Rekieta who seems to be in his mid to late 30s has fond memories of listening to the same music my older siblings listened to in their teen years.
  • There's probably political shitposters out there that don't even know who Ron Paul or Vermin Supreme are.
  • The older Millenials are old enough to be getting gray and even have grandkids if they and their children were teen parents.
you know they are called African Americans now?

But those still exist. The fact that other people are still stupid doesn't make me feel old.



One of the games we did play outside was called Smear the Queer. You'd throw a football or any other kind of ball at someone and then beat the shit out of them after they caught it, or even more if they didn't, and they'd have to fight to keep it as long as they could, and then beat the shit out of whoever took it, and repeat this.

And you would fight to keep the ball or be the one who got the ball next.

And now, the fact that it was called Smear the Queer would be considered worse than the actual content of the game.

we called that kill the man with the ball but we played in a wooden playground and you had to push the ball through the main entrance. made it so the fastest guy wasnt necessarily able to just avoid everyone
 
How the fuck is centralized control by maybe a half-dozen corporations "democracy" in any sense of the word?
In that the masses were invited to participate in what was previously a somewhat élite activity. The real clampdown started happening five years later, anyway, about the time of Occupy Wall Street, what a coincidence.
 
I went on a 5 mile run yesterday with my dog because I didn't feel like driving to the gym to use the treadmill or elliptical. Now my knees, shoulders and hips are screaming at me while I sit on a foam cushion at work.

My chin now has more pronounced gray hair than it has blonde or brown

My eyebrows are completely white and I have to use Just for Men to make it look like I didn't shave them off at a distance.

After an entire life of perfect vision I'm starting to need reading glasses at night

When I'm telling stories from my post college years until I met my wife in 2014ish, I remember what year it was by what was happening in the Balkans, Somalia, Iraq and Afghanistan because those are the common yardage markers for the passage of time across my group of friends and close family.

I used to think cars could only be classics if they were older than I am, now I realize cars I was able to afford when they were brand new are almost a decade in to their eligibility for classic car plates.

I am the oldest parent by atleast 10 years in my 6 year old's kindergarten class. (My wife is in the average age group thankfully, so our kids aren't autistic or fucked up from the draw)

I'm being emailed about the alumni association at my old college asking if I'd be interested in attending a reunion celebrating the 30th anniversary of the formation of our rugby team that I was a founding member of next year

I asked someone the other day why gas engine exhaust doesn't smell like it used to in the 70s and 80s (the answer is different shit in the catalytic convertors and better fuel to air ratios)

I spent 20 minutes explaining to my wife why I will never buy a refrigerator that has a touch screen or wifi connectivity

I still don't see the appeal of golf, at least.
 
Its feudalism but with extra steps.
A sickly imitation of the USSR, in other words.

NUMBER TWO: It doesn't matter which "side" runs the Village.
NUMBER SIX: It's run by one side or the other.
NUMBER TWO: Oh, certainly, but both sides are becoming identical. What in fact has been created is an international community — a perfect blueprint for world order. When the sides facing each other suddenly realize that they're looking into a mirror, they will see that this is the pattern for the future.
 
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I’ve become aware of very short, very infrequent, but nevertheless very noticeable lapses in focus when I’m driving, which simultaneously scares me (for obvious reasons) and depresses me (because I unironically fucking love to drive).

I swear to god if I can’t get on the road and spend a few hours heading out to the country for a weekend in my golden years I might as well end it now because most new video games suck and I’ve read all the books I’ve wanted to read already.
 
i want to watch it all burn down.
Uncle Ted has been rotting in jail for decades and he keeps racking up W after W. They hate to see a based Polack winning. 🃏

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Uncle Ted has been rotting in jail for decades and he keeps racking up W after W. They hate to see a based Polack winning.

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I always liked that guy.

He's probably enjoying his time in prison, he can just solve math problems and keep busy intellectually. Not too shabby.

More old timer shit... why doesn't someone make a car you can still work on? Fucking bastards, now I have a sensor alert on my dash board telling me a tire sensor isn't working.

I don't need a fucking tire sensor to tell me my air pressure is low in my tires. I look at the fucking tire. YOU CAN SEE THE FUCKING TIRE.
 
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