Should I ask out a co-worker? Share your stories.

autism420

autism420

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Without having to explain this situation in depth, I have an attraction to a coworker and would like to fornicate with her.

Please share your stories of dating someone you work with. I understand the don't shit where you eat concept, but seeing as how I am growing older by the day and barely have a social life anymore I have slim pickings.

PS I have an excellent maxilla
 
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The reason you could be feeling this way now is because you have an overactive sex drive. Does your penis get too hard nowadays? This could be a sign that you have become over fertile. Private message me two pictures of your penis, one flacid and one erect or you can just post it in this thread and I should be able to tell you what is wrong. Try jerking off at least four times a day and if you are still feeling this attraction for your coworker at your job you should probably quit because you will eventually lose all of your social restraint and reveal your true nature as a disgusting chauvinist pig male by raping her.

(if your penis is black or has foreskin i dont wanna see it though you can just describe it to me)
 
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I wouldn't. Without going into too much detail, I once dated a co-worker. We split up after a few months, but then she started to date another coworker, who was a manager above me, and he was the jealous type. So after shit talking me enough to any higher ups who would listen, he managed to get me fired.

tl;dr don't do it man it's a trap.
 
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If it's a true love thing then maybe. If you just want to hump somebody and she's particularly humpable then nah, throw it back.
 
Ask her if she wants to hang out. If she says yes then come back for more advice. If she says no then you'll know not to pursue and you can play off the "it was just platonic."
 
True workplace story, my coworker met her fiancé here. At the same time, two of our regular employees briefly dated and then one broke it off with the other and it created a lot of tension. Dating coworkers is a real chancey thing to do so I just gotta say be careful.

On the topic of asserting your dominance in the workplace, make sure to urinate profusely around the place so as to mask it in your scent. Bring in animals that you have killed, as this will convey to the female that you are a capable and providing mate. Do not kill other male coworkers, simply assault them via punching and kicking, possibly breaking a few bones if it's appropriate. You will be viewed as fierce, but merciful, and the mate will almost certainly be yours.
 
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Go to work wearing bright and flashy colors. Go to her and perform the mating ritual dance.

With luck, she'll be mesmerized by your performance and will want to jump on your bones with everyone watching.

This is more likely to work if you come in without pants.
 
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If you are not big or strong, you may still have a chance to get with her. Bite into her side. Release enzymes that fuse your face and blood vessels with her body. Mooch off the nutrients she takes in and fertilize her eggs in return.
 
In situations like these, I often ask myself: What would Michael Scott do?
 
Clown Doll said:
Why would you trust the decisions of your love life to a bunch of autistic malcontents like us is the better question.
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This.

And no. HR nightmare. Many people in positions of power look down on it generally. Your career is more important than someone you haven't even dated yet, so push it out of your head. Dating co-workers means everyone knows that you like to make baby cow noises when you screw and you put electronic devices up your bum-bum. Stop it and find a piece on tinder. If you are free to date, do it as anonymously as possible nowadays, more fun, less consequences.
 
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Do not shit where you eat.

Had a terrible experience of it and I am still grateful now that I came out on top in the end. Just God no. Not worth it.
 
autism420 said:
Without having to explain this situation in depth, I have an attraction to a coworker and would like to fornicate with her.
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This begs the question, is this person attracted to you?

Asking out a co-worker who might not be attracted to you is asking for some trouble. I wouldn't do it unless I was damn sure they were into me as much as I'm into them.
 
I'm a time traveller from their future and you're my father you must marry that woman within two months after accidentally knocking her up or I'll never be born.
 
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