Should the guy pay for everything on a date?

[PorcupineTree]

As a woman this practice always felt like a bartering system for sexual favors. At the same time, most guys seem to take it as a blow to their masculinity when I pay for my own stuff.

What are your thoughts on the expectation for guys to pay for everything?

 

[hambeerlyingnreed]

I'm not a dude, so it does work in my favor, heh.

If a guy pays for stuff, I find a way to pay him back in some way in the future, like paying for an AirBNB or bringing booze to the next get-together, so he can't whip out his wallet and say he wants to pay. I don't consider fucking to be compensation, since that's something I'd do either way. I'm a slut. Not a whore. No hate to sex workers though.

 

[Red Hood]

I don't make that much money. If you wanna pay? Be my guest.

I'm not very progressive- I'm just poor.

 

[Not an_ime g_irl]

Whoever asked first pays for the date, that's why "you treat her to a date"
Now if we are just hanging out, each one pays for his stuff.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

I've never been on a date tbh

 

[Rand /pol/]

I've never been on a date tbh

Not surprising tbh

 

[ColtWalker1847]

The expectation of him paying means she's a golddigger full stop. There is nothing chivalrous about it anymore because there are sooooooooo many women out there just looking for a soft place to crash. They apparently never got the memo that most women have jobs now. That they are big girls who should be able to buy their own shit. However, picking up the tab is just a nice thing to do and a guy who wants to impress a special lady will probably want to do that.

Anyways, a sincere effort to pay is appreciated. It's the thought that counts. Don't worry too much about it.

 

[Loves2Spaff]

Sex is the oldest industry in human history (prehistory?). Be it exchanging freshly speared raw mammoth guts, dollar bills or cryptocuck coins, the whole concept hasn't changed that much. Dating as a Western precursor to the institution of marriage is a display of provisional ability and courtship through behaviors such as paying for her meals, picking her up and driving her home.

Is there anything wrong with defying the societal norm by splitting the bill or a "You pay this time, I'll pay next" system for dating today? Not at all; It makes sense. We (well, most of us) aren't apes marveling at the monolith and flinging feces. Do men prefer to pay the bill? Probably; It's instinctual in our social behavior and the patterns we develop reinforce this.

 

[Derbydollar]

I'll bet you 30 Good Boy Points that there is a 100% overlap between group "Guys pay for the dates" and group "Autism".

 

[Lioness]

I don't expect it but I appreciate it deeply when it happens. If I know he's not in a great financial situation I'll try pay up anyway - but the gesture means even more then. They are the same men who would open doors and cars ahead of me and you know what? They were the ones most attentive in bed. Because of this clear pattern I conclude a man willing to partake in these little acts of chivalry beforehand is also more likely to make sure you have more orgasms than he does later.

 

[SpessCaptain]

Implying I'd ever be on one, I'd feel real guilty doing so, but I'd pay them back later on with like food and snacks
My mate took me out for dinner (he was having a tough time doing irl tard wrangling) and insisted that I shouldn't pay for his pity party. I knew he was poor as fuck like me so I said if things get rough I can always wire the money to him.

Next day he asks for it and I gladly did so. No biggie.

 

[Kebaberhelp]

Its great if someone wants to pay for the date, but forcing people into paying for everything is a bit iffy.
If a guy is in a relationship with a girl and then buys her drinks, because enjoyed their time together. That is cool. If someone goes on a first date with a girl and buys her drinks, to me that feels kinda manipulative.

 

[ES 148]

I believe the menfolk shouldn't be allowed to have money to begin with, so this is kind of a moot point.

 

[0 0]

My system has always been turns. One pays for the whole bill, but the other tips, and then it swaps the next time around.

No, a man shouldn't have to pay for anything on the date unless he wants to and his opposite has no income of their own to share. Such an idea suggesting otherwise is a relic of a time where the traditional home involved a stay-at-home mother and a father who worked 9-to-5.

 

[skiddlez]

she gonna pay for the date AND she gonna suck the dick later, trust.

 

[Kulee Baba]

The person who invites should pay for whatever.

 

[Carlos Thin]

I believe if you bring a woman on a date, you should pay for the event (cinema, theater, coffee, monster truck madness, etc.), afterwards, going to a bar or whatever, then it's all fair game. Paying in rounds though seems like a friendlier method of payment

 

[Trasha Pay That A$$]

Whoever asks, pays. Unless your date is a night out at the bar, then it's more natural to go back and forth on who picks up the round. I'm not the type to like a dinner and movie date though, so maybe it works there too.

 

[Some JERK]

I pay because I have the money to do so and because if I'm paying then I get to pick the restaurant/activity. What I expect in return is company and conversation. If it's bad then we don't do it again. If it's good then it was worth it.

I don't have to pay for sex, but even if I felt like I did I wouldn't waste time laundering the money through a restaurant. There are plenty of faster, more direct alternatives I'm sure.

 

[エボラちゃん]

>Should the guy pay for everything on a date?
Depends on the type of date, the activities involved and your partner.

The person that initiates the date and organize the activities, should by default be the one paying regardless of the sex.
If there are unplanned expenses like minor incidents, the person that organized the date should cover them.
If the partner you are dating chooses to do extra activities, you shouldn't be obliged to pay for the extras.

It really boils down to the person you're dating.
Some girls will insist to split the bills or pay for their own stuff, others will always expect the guy to cover everything.
It's best to talk with your date about how you would like to distribute the expenditures.

For guys, there is always a risk of giving a poor impression if you don't show some attention to your date spendings.
Regardless of the sex, it is always a polite gesture to offer to cover some of the date expenses.

Insisting to pay for all of your date's expense can send a wrong signal to the girl.
The same applies for a guy dating a girl that pressures them to cover unplanned expenses.

tl;dr:
Be reasonable and communicate with your partner.