DennisReynolds
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2017
My name is Christian Weston Chandler and my IP address is 192.168.1.1, send your worst!
Careercow Shuli Elisheva Zevin / Samantha Elisheva Zerin / Shmuel Azriel Zerin / Samuel Elliot Zerin / CreativeShuli.com / @ShuliElisheva - "Orthodox Jewish" MTF, Yiddish lyricist, amateur Talmud scholar, Shlomo Shekelstein lookalike
- Thread starter Opticana
- Start date
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🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
Fartificial Insmelligence
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2020
I've always seen hyper-religious people as mentally ill (or at least low on brainpower), so when you combine that with the literal mental illness of transgenderism, it's a bad time. That's not to say that I think anyone religious is a tard, but when you cannot apply critical thinking and ask questions about why your God, who is all-knowing, all-powerful, and infinite in love and mercy would fuck you over by putting a true&honest female in a males body? That's ridiculous to me! And then on top of that, to get your Hebrew National guillotined while praising God for giving you the opportunity to do so?? Madness!
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- Joined
- Feb 9, 2013
I wonder how well he sticks to proper Yiddish grammar, vs just devolving to Yinglish most of the time.
- Joined
- May 19, 2021
There's no need- they already know. In retaliation for the heinous crime of looking at Mr. Shuli's Facebook group and voter registration info, I've contacted the cyber police. They've used their hacker powers to dox everyone involved in retaliation, and are on their way to everyone's houses right now.
You're fuckin' done, kiddo.
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2021
Hahah I can't believe he used to look like that. Went from Kiryat Arba to Florentin real quick.
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2019
Maybe Shuli set up a GoFundMe to pay for the latest DDOS/
In typical narcissist fashion, Shuli is writing his own memoir.
Shuli has struggled with social media addiction *narcicissm intensifies*. But he’s such a devout Orthodox Jew that he doesn’t use his phone on Shabbat
Shuli is interviewing an ultra Orthodox Jew and is concerned she may clock him as a man:
I'm interviewing an Ultra-Orthodox singer next week, for an article I'm working on. She gave me her phone number. I'm panicking that she'll think I'm a man if she only hears my voice, i.e. not on a video call. But I should have confidence. I've put a lot ol work into feminizing my voice. And in any case, my voice is my voice, and I'm so tired of silencing myself.
In typical narcissist fashion, Shuli is writing his own memoir.
Why am I writing my memoir?
To answer the question: how do I know I’m a trans woman and not just a gender non-conforming man?
Why do I want to know the answer to that question?
1) Because it’s a question that so many people have asked me, and I struggle to answer.
2) Because it’s a question I’ve struggled with so much.
3) Because it’s a quesiton that other trans people struggle with, and I want to help them.
4) Because it can help cis people better understand and accept.
5) Because it gets to the root of my trans experience.
6) Because it’s a framework for describing my transition.
7) Because it’s empowering – if I can answer this.question, it gives me confidence that I really am trans (as if there’s any doubt!)
Why do I want to be able to answer this question when other people ask me?
1) Because it’s embarrassing when I can’t answer someone’s question.
2) Because it disappoints people when I can’t satisfy their curiosity.
3) Because when I can’t answer this question, it validates other people’s concerns that I’m not really trans.
4) Because when I can’t answer this question, it makes me doubt that I’m really actually trans.
5) Because I’m a deep thinker, and so it bothers me when I can’t explain something so fundamental about myself
6) Because I really hate being misunderstood.
7) Because I want to understand.
Why do I want to help other trans people who struggle with this question?
1) Because I know what the struggle is like, and I don’t want others to struggle as I did.
2) Because if I can help other people, then maybe I can empower them to help their own families and friends understand.
3) Because if I can help other people understand, then I can help them to be more confident.
4) Because the more trans people who can understand their journeys, the more people who can help to convince the world that we’re really who we say we are.
5) I want to help change the dialogue around how we know we’re trans – it’s not just “a deep knowing,” which is vague – it’s gotta be more than that.
6) Because I like teaching people and helping them to have aha moments.
7) Because I like helping other people to have aha moments.
Why do I need to be able to answer this question for myself? Why isn’t simply knowing I’m trans enough?
1) Because I still struggle with self-doubt
2) Because I am radically curious about myself and the world
3) Because I want to understand.
4) Because understanding how I know will strengthen my knowing and give me more confidence
5) Because if I can understand better then I can explain better to myself and others
6) Because I’ve struggled so much, and I want closure.
7) Because I’m just so curious to make sense of my struggles and my transition.
Because I want to be able to answer convincingly when other people ask me.
Why do I want to help cis people better understand?
1) Because if I can help them better understand, then maybe they’ll be more likely to accept.
2) Because I care about teaching other people.
3) Because when other people understand better, they can be more supportive.
4) Because there are so many myths, and I want to help people get over the myths.
5) Because doubt leads people to support legislation that makes life so much harder, and I want to erase that doubt.
6) Because helping others to understand this creates better allies, who can then explain to others and help others get over doubt.
Why do I want to tell my own story?
1) To help others understand.
2) Because it’s an ego booster to see my own story in writing.
3) To preserve it for my children and grandchildren.
4) Because it’s unique.
5) Because it’s a challenge and I like challenges.
6) Because it makes me feel important.
To answer the question: how do I know I’m a trans woman and not just a gender non-conforming man?
Why do I want to know the answer to that question?
1) Because it’s a question that so many people have asked me, and I struggle to answer.
2) Because it’s a question I’ve struggled with so much.
3) Because it’s a quesiton that other trans people struggle with, and I want to help them.
4) Because it can help cis people better understand and accept.
5) Because it gets to the root of my trans experience.
6) Because it’s a framework for describing my transition.
7) Because it’s empowering – if I can answer this.question, it gives me confidence that I really am trans (as if there’s any doubt!)
Why do I want to be able to answer this question when other people ask me?
1) Because it’s embarrassing when I can’t answer someone’s question.
2) Because it disappoints people when I can’t satisfy their curiosity.
3) Because when I can’t answer this question, it validates other people’s concerns that I’m not really trans.
4) Because when I can’t answer this question, it makes me doubt that I’m really actually trans.
5) Because I’m a deep thinker, and so it bothers me when I can’t explain something so fundamental about myself
6) Because I really hate being misunderstood.
7) Because I want to understand.
Why do I want to help other trans people who struggle with this question?
1) Because I know what the struggle is like, and I don’t want others to struggle as I did.
2) Because if I can help other people, then maybe I can empower them to help their own families and friends understand.
3) Because if I can help other people understand, then I can help them to be more confident.
4) Because the more trans people who can understand their journeys, the more people who can help to convince the world that we’re really who we say we are.
5) I want to help change the dialogue around how we know we’re trans – it’s not just “a deep knowing,” which is vague – it’s gotta be more than that.
6) Because I like teaching people and helping them to have aha moments.
7) Because I like helping other people to have aha moments.
Why do I need to be able to answer this question for myself? Why isn’t simply knowing I’m trans enough?
1) Because I still struggle with self-doubt
2) Because I am radically curious about myself and the world
3) Because I want to understand.
4) Because understanding how I know will strengthen my knowing and give me more confidence
5) Because if I can understand better then I can explain better to myself and others
6) Because I’ve struggled so much, and I want closure.
7) Because I’m just so curious to make sense of my struggles and my transition.
Because I want to be able to answer convincingly when other people ask me.Why do I want to help cis people better understand?
1) Because if I can help them better understand, then maybe they’ll be more likely to accept.
2) Because I care about teaching other people.
3) Because when other people understand better, they can be more supportive.
4) Because there are so many myths, and I want to help people get over the myths.
5) Because doubt leads people to support legislation that makes life so much harder, and I want to erase that doubt.
6) Because helping others to understand this creates better allies, who can then explain to others and help others get over doubt.
Why do I want to tell my own story?
1) To help others understand.
2) Because it’s an ego booster to see my own story in writing.
3) To preserve it for my children and grandchildren.
4) Because it’s unique.
5) Because it’s a challenge and I like challenges.
6) Because it makes me feel important.
"Aha" moment.
I'm listening to Nir Eyal's audio book, "Indistractable." It's amazing. I can't recommend it enough.
Just now, while dilating, I listened to the chapter on Identity Pacts. He discusses a fascinating study. In the study, half the participants were asked questions about how important it is to them "to vote." The other participants were asked questions about how important it is to them "to be a voter." In the next major election, the second group of participants were overwhelmingly more likely to vote. The study was repeated before the next major election, with the same results.
When you view your goal as a task to be completed, you're much less likely to do it.
When you view your goal as simply an extension of who you are as a person, you're much more likely to do it.
Personally, I have struggled with social media addiction. It is often very difficult for me to avoid checking my phone or computer even at times when I really shouldn't – when I'm with my kid, when I'm in a meeting, when I'm in a class, and yes, even sometimes while I'm driving.
But on Shabbat? It's soooo easy for me to not use my computer or phone. Yeah, sometimes I do feel a little impatient by Saturday afternoon for Shabbat to end so I can check Facebook again, but.... I still wait.
Why is it so easy for me to not use social media on Sahbbat but so hard for the rest of the week?
Because.... I'm an observant Jew. As an observant Jew – which is a major part of my identiy – it's simply not something I do on Shabbat. And part of my identity as a Shabbat-observant Jew is that I sanctify the day by unplugging and focusing on other things. If I were to check social media on Shabbat, I would not be a Shabbat-observant Jew.
But the rest of the week? "I really shouldn't get distracted." "I shouldn't check Facebook again." "I should focus on something else." "I shouldn't look at my phone while driving." None of these are identity-based. They are all action-based. And so, is it any wonder that it's hard for me during the week? Being totally addicted to social media during the week is compatible with my self-identity, but doing so on Shabbat is not.
So I'm thinking about my gender transition.
Why have I been soooooo devoted to my gender transition? Why have I undergone so much physical pain through electrolysis and laser hair removal and recovery from surgery? Why have I spent so much money to the point that I've gone $10,000+ in debt multiple times? Why have I invested so much time and so much effort?
Because being a woman isn't something I'm doing, and it's not something I've striven for..... it's something I *am.* It's a major part of my identity. And so, my transition has come very naturally to me, and it has been very easy for me to stay motivated and do whatever it takes (even if the actual doing has been very hard, painful, expensive, time-consuming, etc). To not do all of this would not simply be renegging on my goals. It would be a betrayal of my identity. It would be a betrayal of who I am as a person.
I am a woman. To not transition is simply inconceivable for me. To not live openly and proudly as a woman is simply not a possibility. It's who I am.
This is a mindblowing revelation for me, because I have so often struggled to carry through on commitments and projects. But not my transition. And this helps to explain why.
I'm listening to Nir Eyal's audio book, "Indistractable." It's amazing. I can't recommend it enough.
Just now, while dilating, I listened to the chapter on Identity Pacts. He discusses a fascinating study. In the study, half the participants were asked questions about how important it is to them "to vote." The other participants were asked questions about how important it is to them "to be a voter." In the next major election, the second group of participants were overwhelmingly more likely to vote. The study was repeated before the next major election, with the same results.
When you view your goal as a task to be completed, you're much less likely to do it.
When you view your goal as simply an extension of who you are as a person, you're much more likely to do it.
Personally, I have struggled with social media addiction. It is often very difficult for me to avoid checking my phone or computer even at times when I really shouldn't – when I'm with my kid, when I'm in a meeting, when I'm in a class, and yes, even sometimes while I'm driving.
But on Shabbat? It's soooo easy for me to not use my computer or phone. Yeah, sometimes I do feel a little impatient by Saturday afternoon for Shabbat to end so I can check Facebook again, but.... I still wait.
Why is it so easy for me to not use social media on Sahbbat but so hard for the rest of the week?
Because.... I'm an observant Jew. As an observant Jew – which is a major part of my identiy – it's simply not something I do on Shabbat. And part of my identity as a Shabbat-observant Jew is that I sanctify the day by unplugging and focusing on other things. If I were to check social media on Shabbat, I would not be a Shabbat-observant Jew.
But the rest of the week? "I really shouldn't get distracted." "I shouldn't check Facebook again." "I should focus on something else." "I shouldn't look at my phone while driving." None of these are identity-based. They are all action-based. And so, is it any wonder that it's hard for me during the week? Being totally addicted to social media during the week is compatible with my self-identity, but doing so on Shabbat is not.
So I'm thinking about my gender transition.
Why have I been soooooo devoted to my gender transition? Why have I undergone so much physical pain through electrolysis and laser hair removal and recovery from surgery? Why have I spent so much money to the point that I've gone $10,000+ in debt multiple times? Why have I invested so much time and so much effort?
Because being a woman isn't something I'm doing, and it's not something I've striven for..... it's something I *am.* It's a major part of my identity. And so, my transition has come very naturally to me, and it has been very easy for me to stay motivated and do whatever it takes (even if the actual doing has been very hard, painful, expensive, time-consuming, etc). To not do all of this would not simply be renegging on my goals. It would be a betrayal of my identity. It would be a betrayal of who I am as a person.
I am a woman. To not transition is simply inconceivable for me. To not live openly and proudly as a woman is simply not a possibility. It's who I am.
This is a mindblowing revelation for me, because I have so often struggled to carry through on commitments and projects. But not my transition. And this helps to explain why.
Shuli is interviewing an ultra Orthodox Jew and is concerned she may clock him as a man:
I'm interviewing an Ultra-Orthodox singer next week, for an article I'm working on. She gave me her phone number. I'm panicking that she'll think I'm a man if she only hears my voice, i.e. not on a video call. But I should have confidence. I've put a lot ol work into feminizing my voice. And in any case, my voice is my voice, and I'm so tired of silencing myself.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2019
How is he supporting himself? How does he make money? I can’t imagine two part time Yiddish students pay all of the bills. Is he depending on the kindness of friends and relatives?
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2019
I imagine he’s on welfare and combines that with his gfme and other grifts. He had his synagogue bring food to him while he was recovering which was a nice gesture.
Shuli posting about male privilege. It’s so ironic it’s uncanny.
Before my gender transition, I had so much male privilege.
Orthodox Judaism is so fundamentally premised on gender segregation, and often that means that women are excluded. Before my transition, I attended men-only services, lived and learned at a men-only yeshiva, and prayed on the men-only side of the Western Wall. Unlike women, I counted as part of Orthodox minyanim, read Torah at Orthodox synagogues, got aliyot at Orthodox synagogues.....
But gender segregation in Orthodox Judaism is a funny thing. It has two sides.
Before my transition, I resented the "women-only" spaces I wasn't allowed to inhabit – the women-only services I couldn't attend, women-only lectures I couldn't attend, women-only groups I couldn't be part of, women-only concerts I couldn't go to.
I would have given up all my male privilege in a heartbeat to be able to go to women-only groups and events.... and that's basically what happened when I transitioned. I lost all my male privilege. But I gained female privilege.
Yes, clearly, there are way more "men-only" spaces/privileges/etc than "women-only" ones in Orthodox Judaism. The patriarchy is clearly still dominant.
But... not always.
I find it deeply empowering that I can now inhabit those female-only spaces that men are exluded from. I find it deeply empowering that I can now do women-only things in services that men don't do. And I find it so deeply empowering that I can listen to the many music videos on YouTube that are labeled "for women and girls only."
It's flipping the patriarchy on its head. Oh, you'll exlude us women? Ok, we'll exlude you men!
And yeah, it's more complicated than that, because it was men who decided that men can't listen to women's voices, but.... in a world where women are often silenced lest men hear them, I find this so incredible that so many women are singing on YouTube and in concerts and on the radios with the proclamation "for women and girls only." Oh, men don't want to hear us? Ok, then men won't listen to us, but we'll sing anyway, because we won't be silenced. I like that.
Orthodox Judaism is so fundamentally premised on gender segregation, and often that means that women are excluded. Before my transition, I attended men-only services, lived and learned at a men-only yeshiva, and prayed on the men-only side of the Western Wall. Unlike women, I counted as part of Orthodox minyanim, read Torah at Orthodox synagogues, got aliyot at Orthodox synagogues.....
But gender segregation in Orthodox Judaism is a funny thing. It has two sides.
Before my transition, I resented the "women-only" spaces I wasn't allowed to inhabit – the women-only services I couldn't attend, women-only lectures I couldn't attend, women-only groups I couldn't be part of, women-only concerts I couldn't go to.
I would have given up all my male privilege in a heartbeat to be able to go to women-only groups and events.... and that's basically what happened when I transitioned. I lost all my male privilege. But I gained female privilege.
Yes, clearly, there are way more "men-only" spaces/privileges/etc than "women-only" ones in Orthodox Judaism. The patriarchy is clearly still dominant.
But... not always.
I find it deeply empowering that I can now inhabit those female-only spaces that men are exluded from. I find it deeply empowering that I can now do women-only things in services that men don't do. And I find it so deeply empowering that I can listen to the many music videos on YouTube that are labeled "for women and girls only."
It's flipping the patriarchy on its head. Oh, you'll exlude us women? Ok, we'll exlude you men!
And yeah, it's more complicated than that, because it was men who decided that men can't listen to women's voices, but.... in a world where women are often silenced lest men hear them, I find this so incredible that so many women are singing on YouTube and in concerts and on the radios with the proclamation "for women and girls only." Oh, men don't want to hear us? Ok, then men won't listen to us, but we'll sing anyway, because we won't be silenced. I like that.
1) would have given up all my male privilege in a heartbeat to be able to go to women-only groups and events.... and that's basically what happened when I transitioned. I lost all my male privilege. But I gained female privilege.
2) I find it deeply empowering that I can now inhabit those female-only spaces that men are exluded from. I find it deeply empowering that I can now do women-only things in services that men don't do. And I find it so deeply empowering that I can listen to the many music videos on YouTube that are labeled "for women and girls only."
3) It's flipping the patriarchy on its head. Oh, you'll exlude us women? Ok, we'll exlude you men!
Edit:Showing these women only videos he’s watching
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2019
- Joined
- May 13, 2021
this is the most disturbing thread i have seen in all of kiwifarms so far...feel free to humble me with something more horrifying than this frankenstein freak man, but wow. JFC. this man takes the cake!! literally everything that is bad with modern society wrapped up into one grotesque package
edit: frankensteins monster, not doctor frankenstein; the people performing the operation are the doctor and HE is the monster
edit: frankensteins monster, not doctor frankenstein; the people performing the operation are the doctor and HE is the monster
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2021
Nah, birth six babies obviously. And perform bedikah checks.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2019
Whoever said he’s going to do bedikah checks and send them to some innocent rabbi is right. Mark my words.
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2022
This is even worse in a way than the classic "troon demanding to be let into the bathroom" scenario; at least in that case you couldn't very well walk into the men's room wearing a dress either. Here, Shuli *had* a community that would have let him do whatever he wanted. As previously noted, Conservative Judaism is basically egalitarian, and Shuli sure as hell doesn't subscribe to Orthodox dogma. The *only* reason he's doing this is purely to insert himself into spaces where he wouldn't be welcome otherwise.
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2019
There is lots of shit that’s recently happened in the Shuli-verse but I will post this for now.
I hate to break it to you, but a lot of Orthodox poskim consider women obligated to daven Shacharit, and even in many cases, Mincha... Just- not necessarily b'zman or with a minyan.
Pondering my shift in legal status in Orthodox Jewish spaces.
In Orthodoxy, men have many obligations that must be fulfilled at specific times of day. There are detailed discussions in rabbinic literature, for example, about exactly what time in the morning men are obligated to complete the morning prayers – what time this period begins and what time this period ends. Ditto for the afternoon and evening prayers.
In Orthodoxy, women are not bound to such time-bound mitzvot (commandments). The explanation that I was taught in yeshiva, years ago, is that in a world where the social norm is for women to be having and raising lots of babies, it is unreasonable to expect that we can fulfill time-bound mitzvot like praying 3x/day at specific times. In an Orthodox Jewish world where the social norm is for women to have 6, 8, or even sometimes as many as 20 children (yes, 20), women are constantly either pregnant or breastfeeding or raising young children for decades. But men, by contrast, who do not partake nearly as much in parenting responsibilities, have plenty of time to fulfill time-bound commandments.
Of course, not all Orthodox women can get pregnant or breastfeed, and not all Orthodox women even raise any children at all. And by the same token, there are men who are very much involved in raising their children, particularly single fathers. But when it comes to religious obligations, Jewish law often works under blanket principles: all Jewish men are obligated to time-bound mitzvot (barring health-related circumstances) and all Jewish women are not.
So.......
Before my transition, I was obligated to observe time-bound commandments like praying 3x/day, but now, I am not.
I was pondering that this morning.
Outside of Orthodoxy, in the Conservative movement (a liberal movement, despite its name), there has been a significant amount of pushback against the notion that only men are obligated to mitzvot. Aside from the obvious argument that women should be treated exactly the same as men, there is also resentment that rabbinic literature describes the spiritual rewards that men receive for fulfilling these obligations whereas women, even if they do the same things despite not being obligated, do not receive such spiritual rewards, because they are not obligated and therefore are not fulfilling obligations.
So in the Conservative movement, there has been significant debate over the years about how to enable Jewish women to become obligated to time-bound mitzvot and therefore able to reap the spiritual benefits of fulfilling those obligations. In the 1980s, Rabbi Joel Roth proposed in a famous teshuva (rabbinic answer to a legal question) that Jewish women are not obligated from birth the way men are, but that we can willingly take on the obligations and essentially bind ourselves henceforth to fulfilling them. In recent decades, the mainstream opinion among the Conservative movement's rabbinic leadership has shifted to a blanket statement: all women are obligated to time-bound commandments just as men are, whether or not they choose to take them on.
But in Orthodoxy, this halachic (legal) shift has not taken place. In Orthodoxy, I was obligated before my transition but am no longer obligated. (One mignt argue that I was never obligated, if I was never truly a man, but that's incidental at this point.)
So how do I feel about that?
Do I, like so many non-Orthodox women I've known over the years, feel resentful of my new status?
On the contrary, I find it extremely liberating.
Now that I am no longer concerned with fulfilling liturgical obligations, I find that I can pray with much more kavannah (mindfullness and intention) than before. There is a widespread practice of "speed davening," particularly on weekdays... that is, racing through the prayers as quickly as possible. When I was in yeshiva, I remember a classmate explaining to me that prayer is a legal obligation – you do it and get it done with to fulfill your obligation, no kavannah needed. I was flabbergasted. I felt that kavannah is essential, and speed davening angered me and made me feel isolated to such an extent that I actually stopped going to synagogue altogether for several years. I was unable to pray in such environments.
Another reason speed davening bothered me so much is precisely because I felt obligated to completed all of the required prayers within the required timeframe. My wife, a Conservative rabbi, taught me which parts of Psueki Dezimra were absolutely essential and which ones could be left out in a pinch, which helped me a lot. But still, I prefered to pray more slowly, and I often couldn't keep up with the rapid pace of the prayer leader, which stressed me out because it meant that I couldn't do everything I needed to do.
But now? I don't have to worry about it. OK, so I can't keep up? No big deal. I prefer to daven slowly, at my own pace? Great! Do it! This morning, my rabbi zoomed me into morning services after the 10th man had arrived, and they were already in the first half of the Shema service. I started on my own with the early morning Adon Olam and Morning Blessings, and then moved on to the opening of the Psukei D'zimrah service and Ashrei, which they had already done. By the time I finished Ashrei, the prayer leader was starting the Amidah, so I skipped over the Shema entirely and just went straight to the Amidah.
It felt so liberating to be able to pray at my own pace, with kavannah (mindfulness and intention), without worrying about needing to do everything.
Honestly? I am glad that I am no longer obligated. I actually think it's a good thing, and I think that it would have made my spiritual life so much more fulfilling (and practical) in the past, too.
In Orthodoxy, men have many obligations that must be fulfilled at specific times of day. There are detailed discussions in rabbinic literature, for example, about exactly what time in the morning men are obligated to complete the morning prayers – what time this period begins and what time this period ends. Ditto for the afternoon and evening prayers.
In Orthodoxy, women are not bound to such time-bound mitzvot (commandments). The explanation that I was taught in yeshiva, years ago, is that in a world where the social norm is for women to be having and raising lots of babies, it is unreasonable to expect that we can fulfill time-bound mitzvot like praying 3x/day at specific times. In an Orthodox Jewish world where the social norm is for women to have 6, 8, or even sometimes as many as 20 children (yes, 20), women are constantly either pregnant or breastfeeding or raising young children for decades. But men, by contrast, who do not partake nearly as much in parenting responsibilities, have plenty of time to fulfill time-bound commandments.
Of course, not all Orthodox women can get pregnant or breastfeed, and not all Orthodox women even raise any children at all. And by the same token, there are men who are very much involved in raising their children, particularly single fathers. But when it comes to religious obligations, Jewish law often works under blanket principles: all Jewish men are obligated to time-bound mitzvot (barring health-related circumstances) and all Jewish women are not.
So.......
Before my transition, I was obligated to observe time-bound commandments like praying 3x/day, but now, I am not.
I was pondering that this morning.
Outside of Orthodoxy, in the Conservative movement (a liberal movement, despite its name), there has been a significant amount of pushback against the notion that only men are obligated to mitzvot. Aside from the obvious argument that women should be treated exactly the same as men, there is also resentment that rabbinic literature describes the spiritual rewards that men receive for fulfilling these obligations whereas women, even if they do the same things despite not being obligated, do not receive such spiritual rewards, because they are not obligated and therefore are not fulfilling obligations.
So in the Conservative movement, there has been significant debate over the years about how to enable Jewish women to become obligated to time-bound mitzvot and therefore able to reap the spiritual benefits of fulfilling those obligations. In the 1980s, Rabbi Joel Roth proposed in a famous teshuva (rabbinic answer to a legal question) that Jewish women are not obligated from birth the way men are, but that we can willingly take on the obligations and essentially bind ourselves henceforth to fulfilling them. In recent decades, the mainstream opinion among the Conservative movement's rabbinic leadership has shifted to a blanket statement: all women are obligated to time-bound commandments just as men are, whether or not they choose to take them on.
But in Orthodoxy, this halachic (legal) shift has not taken place. In Orthodoxy, I was obligated before my transition but am no longer obligated. (One mignt argue that I was never obligated, if I was never truly a man, but that's incidental at this point.)
So how do I feel about that?
Do I, like so many non-Orthodox women I've known over the years, feel resentful of my new status?
On the contrary, I find it extremely liberating.
Now that I am no longer concerned with fulfilling liturgical obligations, I find that I can pray with much more kavannah (mindfullness and intention) than before. There is a widespread practice of "speed davening," particularly on weekdays... that is, racing through the prayers as quickly as possible. When I was in yeshiva, I remember a classmate explaining to me that prayer is a legal obligation – you do it and get it done with to fulfill your obligation, no kavannah needed. I was flabbergasted. I felt that kavannah is essential, and speed davening angered me and made me feel isolated to such an extent that I actually stopped going to synagogue altogether for several years. I was unable to pray in such environments.
Another reason speed davening bothered me so much is precisely because I felt obligated to completed all of the required prayers within the required timeframe. My wife, a Conservative rabbi, taught me which parts of Psueki Dezimra were absolutely essential and which ones could be left out in a pinch, which helped me a lot. But still, I prefered to pray more slowly, and I often couldn't keep up with the rapid pace of the prayer leader, which stressed me out because it meant that I couldn't do everything I needed to do.
But now? I don't have to worry about it. OK, so I can't keep up? No big deal. I prefer to daven slowly, at my own pace? Great! Do it! This morning, my rabbi zoomed me into morning services after the 10th man had arrived, and they were already in the first half of the Shema service. I started on my own with the early morning Adon Olam and Morning Blessings, and then moved on to the opening of the Psukei D'zimrah service and Ashrei, which they had already done. By the time I finished Ashrei, the prayer leader was starting the Amidah, so I skipped over the Shema entirely and just went straight to the Amidah.
It felt so liberating to be able to pray at my own pace, with kavannah (mindfulness and intention), without worrying about needing to do everything.
Honestly? I am glad that I am no longer obligated. I actually think it's a good thing, and I think that it would have made my spiritual life so much more fulfilling (and practical) in the past, too.
I hate to break it to you, but a lot of Orthodox poskim consider women obligated to daven Shacharit, and even in many cases, Mincha... Just- not necessarily b'zman or with a minyan.
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2019
What does he mean by "spiritual benefits"? Prayer is supposed to improve you as a person and strengthen your relationship with G-d, yes? What spiritual benefits does time-dependent davening bestow upon men that women cannot receive by praying with kavannah on their own?
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2020
Shuli is upset about so many things, and things out of his control. For example the way people pray?
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2022
He's referring to reward in the world to come (see Kiddushin 31a).
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2015
What a delight to read through this thread.
Not only getting exposed to a lolcow, but learning so much about Judaism that is not full of /pol/ shit.
Not only getting exposed to a lolcow, but learning so much about Judaism that is not full of /pol/ shit.
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2019
I thought that might be the case, but I know very little of Jewish eschatology so I wasn't quite sure what spiritual rewards would be bestowed upon the... extra righteous? in the World to Come.
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2022
I don't think it's eschatology strictly speaking. I've never really cared much about the subject but the general concensus is that it's a sort of eternal bliss. Euphoria, one might even say...