Silly things you did as a kid

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I thought a "pedophile" was some sort of type of a professor, and reading newspapers I was confused and curious why do so many of them get arrested.
 
gate-to-swamp.jpg
My grandparents live in the country and down the street from their house there is a random gate similar to this picture. Any way when I was about 10 my first cousin managed to convince me that beyond the trees there was a house where a man named Jason lived and he would murder anyone that entered. It took me a few months to realize who Jason was.
 
Well..... I was super into politics when I was younger. Whenever I saw somebody with a sign in their yard of whichever elected official I agreed with, and this was on Halloween mind you, I would thank them for making a good choice.
 
In 8th grade everyone really liked using the word "ghetto" so we were deciding what theme to make graduation and we all wanted ghetto theme and our teacher had to tell us that ghetto means poor neighborhoods often with a lot of violence and drug shit and then she told us that one of her friends grew up in a ghetto and she got shot by a pimp or something and then years later she took her to drive by her house to show her where she grew up and some kid was like "Why, was she proud of it" and we all laughed our asses off because everyone in class hated our teacher.

We got to go with ghetto theme for our graduation btw
 
I remember as a little kid I saw how Bugs Bunny liked to smooch people to annoy them in a lot of his cartoons.

So I decided to do the same and smooch a bunch of the girls ( and possibly boys too) in my class.

That ended rather quickly from what I remember.

I think I was also told to eat a piece of newspaper by one of the other kids back in third grade and I did.
 
My friend was offended by a comic I made in which a man gets smothered by a trees giant boobies and he said he wasn't gonna be my friend anymore unless I destroy the comic
So I ate the whole page and swallowed it
We're still friends btw
 
I used to freeze my toys when I was a little kid. I would literally stick my barbies in giant cups of water and put those cups in the freezer so they would freeze. I thought that was the most fun thing ever to do...

I used to also tie my toys to balloons so that I could watch them "fly".

The first Harry Potter movie came out when I was in elementary school, so after I watched the movie I'd pretend that I'd be able to get to Hogwarts by running into walls (ala platform 9 3/4).

I used to walk on my heels a lot, too. I was a weird kid.
 
Hid under my GF's bed one night when she had friends over her house and scared the shit out of her when I grabbed her ankles.
 
I used to freeze my toys when I was a little kid.
That reminds me of something I did as a kid; I slept with a blankie though for some reason I didn't like it to be warm. Sometimes I would put it in the freezer an hour or so before bed so it would be nice and cold.
 
My mom got me that Johnson's "No Tears" shampoo when I was tiny and I decided to test that theory by pouring it directly in my eye without a second thought. I was not allowed the fancy "No Tears" shampoo after that.

I also refused to chew my food until I was about four. Because I was afraid of choking. So my parents would have to cut up my food into the tiniest bites. I had one box of Oreo's cereal in my life. I never chewed one piece and my dad had to do the Heimlich on me twice. I also cried and freaked out a year later about having to take pills.

One time, I was dangling my arm out of a van door and slammed my arm in it. My mom said I looked her dead in the eye and started to scream like it was her fault. I also told my mom I wanted a new mom. And (accidentally) stomped on her feet when she had ingrown toenails in all ten of her toes. Then I made fun of her for having "mummy toes" when she had to get all of them yanked out. I was a dick to my mom.
 
My mom got me that Johnson's "No Tears" shampoo when I was tiny and I decided to test that theory by pouring it directly in my eye without a second thought. I was not allowed the fancy "No Tears" shampoo after that.

As horrifying as that sounds, you have to admire her dedication to empirical evidence.

Incidentally, I once poured this shit directly in my eyes after reading that label, too. I never did that again. Or trusted labels.
 
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