simbi.com - A combination of communism, e-gold, a barter economy, and probably a scam.

DykesDykesChina said:
  1. Fill plastic bottles with tap water.
  2. Write "Magnetically Energized Cosmic Healing Water" in beautiful letters on the bottles.
  3. Trade them for banjo lessons.
  4. ...
  5. Nope, scratch #3. Sell them on ebay for 500 US$ each.
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Joke's on you, that paleo-currency is a thing of the past. Everything the light touches can be bought and sold for Simba Coins.
 
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DykesDykesChina said:
  1. Fill plastic bottles with tap water.
  2. Write "Magnetically Energized Cosmic Healing Water" in beautiful letters on the bottles.
  3. Trade them for banjo lessons.
  4. ...
  5. Nope, scratch #3. Sell them on ebay for 500 US$ each.
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Nope, that's not a service!
 
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
Nope, that's not a service!
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The fact that they restrict it to "services" is so retarded too, god. Imagine if they tried to exist off of Simbi alone. They'd all starve to death because nobody's offering the service of cramming food down their throats for them.

Actually that gives me an idea...maybe a Simbi restaurant? In exchange for a nominal fee of Simba Coins (and you "exchanging the service" of cooking your own food and cleaning your own dishes), our waiters will feed you whatever gluten free, non-GMO vegan cuisine your heart desires!

Actually on that note, imagine a Simba Coin mugging. "Hey, you, in the wool scarf and lumberjack hat! Transfer one SC to my account in exchange for me doing the service of not stabbing you!"
 
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Wrought said:
The fact that they restrict it to "services" is so retarded too, god. Imagine if they tried to exist off of Simbi alone. They'd all starve to death because nobody's offering the service of cramming food down their throats for them.
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That still wouldn't really work terribly well. Restaurants are already a business with a very low profit margin. You would have to charge an insane price just to break even.

I've also realized that they don't seem to have much in the way of restrictions of what you can sell, unlike say, Kickstarter. Who wants to be the first to offer an abortion in exchange for tapdancing lessons?
 
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
That still wouldn't really work terribly well.
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Darn, now how will I acquire my worthless currency to exchange for a vegan reading me their slam poetry about how their dad doesn't love them enough?
Honestly the more I think about this the funnier it gets. It's like less functional Etsy. And Etsy users sold chainmail cock sheathes.
 
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Splendid Meat Sticks said:
That still wouldn't really work terribly well. Restaurants are already a business with a very low profit margin. You would have to charge an insane price just to break even.

I've also realized that they don't seem to have much in the way of restrictions of what you can sell, unlike say, Kickstarter. Who wants to be the first to offer an abortion in exchange for tapdancing lessons?
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I'm down. Anyone willing to give me a stellar recommendation for an abortion performed?
 
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
I've also realized that they don't seem to have much in the way of restrictions of what you can sell, unlike say, Kickstarter. Who wants to be the first to offer an abortion in exchange for tapdancing lessons?
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Great, can't wait for someone to whore themselves out for a natal chart reading
 
Concept: Two simbi users in love try to find each other perfect holiday gifts. The man exchanges his gold watch for a comb to give to the woman. The woman allows her hair to be cut and gathered in exchange for a chain for the man's gold watch. They exchange gifts, realize what they've done, get bored and watch Orange is the New Black on Netflix.
 
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Wrought said:
I mean you say that but good boy points can be exchanged for tendies. If you go to your mom with simbi she'll just throw a shoe at you.
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No, can't even buy tendies with Null's shitty fake money.
@Null, these hipster commies are kicking your ass.
 
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If thing go extremely popular with the hipsters, in the end simbis will just be fuck bucks because of the uncontrolled marketing of what services they can use and the fact it's not a real currency. Prositution might actually be the biggest use for it.
 
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
According to Simbi's own blog, the average Simbi user has a mere 70 $SC in their wallet, and their "high-demand roles" include Wellness professionals, Designers & illustrators, Web developers, Business consultants, and Physical therapists. This of course means that even 1 $SC is absurdly overvalued, and before you ask, no there is no such thing as a Simbi Cent, 1 $SC is the smallest unit of currency available.
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So it's literally worthless and guaranteed to continue getting more worthless as any value it has disappears to inevitable hyperinflation.

I suppose you can't really be surprised that communist morons literally don't understand money, since that's kind of what being a commie fruitcake entails.
 
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