Lolcow Skylar Ittner / Keep Carroll Catholic / skylarmt / netsyms.com / Skylar the Troll Master - 50 lawyers turned him down / banned from college / banned from walmart

[Marvin]

Man charged with assaulting Lewis and Clark County Sheriff
View attachment 6337044

Skyler was doing so, so well at avoiding drama and staying off of the Internet. After stirring up so much shit here, he dropped off the face of the planet for almost two years.

Then he commits a felony and punches the county’s most senior law enforcement officer.

Ahaha, amazing! ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWER SKYLER! That Jerkop was totally asking for it!

I hope we get some Greer tier legal rants.

 

[Spunt]

Judging by his appearance already, he's going to age horribly or go bald at age 27. At least he has that going for him?

Here’s the official booking photo. I can’t believe the guy is only 28. He’s aged like milk.

View attachment 6339592

I can't tag the Kiwi in the 7 year old post quoted above so maybe he's b& but goddamn dude you deserve some kind of award for physiognamy prediction.

 

[baconard]

This is almost as old news since I never heard of this creep before, but regarding what he was doing before he fought the law, for much of 2022 I "had" to drive an 83 year old former college teacher of mine and her cognitively disabled brother to various locations while having mostly one-or-fewer-sided conversations about the various matters of concern to her. At one point she flatly asked me if I knew how to send a telegram. I am mortified to know how wrong I was to say that it was no longer possible, And subsequently relieved to know that it is impossible again and I am retroactively correct with this guy who looks like Jared Fogle's uncle now in jail.

 

[AnOminous]

At one point she flatly asked me if I knew how to send a telegram. I am mortified to know how wrong I was to say that it was no longer possible, And subsequently relieved to know that it is impossible again and I am retroactively correct with this guy who looks like Jared Fogle's uncle now in jail.

Actually there are still a few companies offering telegrams. You can't send one Western Union since they don't do it any more, but it does still exist, presumably to cater to some soon to be dead boomers.

 

[Niall Meanwhile]

Where I'm from telegrams were still kicking until not that long ago (or prolly still are) solely because they were a specific legal requirement of valid service for some summons, official notices, etc and nobody ever bothered with updating that bit, possibly to preserve the interests of state-owned Big Telegram (though to be fair I don't know whether it still was/is possible to send telegrams via the shitty state telecom)

I wouldn't be surprised if something similar was the case with some US jurisdictions, especially the more frontier-like ones where the local barkeep is at the same time the town's coroner, notary public, and the entirety of the local police force. Like wherever the fuck our boy Skyler here is.

 

[GloriousScarf]

I'm so glad Skylar is back. I was so sure his first arrest would be some flavour of sex offence but I'll take this.

 

[AprilRains]

It appears the trial is on for May 19.

The charge is a felony.

As per the docket, a jury has been selected.

I can't believe his lawyer didn't convince him to take some bullshit plea deal. He probably could have gotten off with a misdemeanor, maybe even expungement if he was a good boy for a year or something. However, such a deal would likely have required Skylar to make an apology, and we all know he won't do that.

Game on, Kiwis.

 

[LiveFromNS]

It appears the trial is on for May 19.
View attachment 7336543
The charge is a felony.
View attachment 7336545
As per the docket, a jury has been selected.
View attachment 7336551
I can't believe his lawyer didn't convince him to take some bullshit plea deal. He probably could have gotten off with a misdemeanor, maybe even expungement if he was a good boy for a year or something. However, such a deal would likely have required Skylar to make an apology, and we all know he won't do that.

Game on, Kiwis.

Nice man, thanks for updating about this. I had forgotten all about our Eagle Scout becoming a badass and getting in trouble with the law.

I wonder if the little faggot will have his mommy there sitting at the defence table to help him "explain" how he dindunuttin, like she did with the school trouble he got into? LOL

I wonder if Useful Mistake would be interested in getting any filings, if possible/accessible, regarding another retard who is a thread subject?

 

[AprilRains]

Nice man, thanks for updating about this. I had forgotten all about our Eagle Scout becoming a badass and getting in trouble with the law.

Booooorn to be miiiiillllld...

I wonder if the little faggot will have his mommy there sitting at the defence table to help him "explain" how he dindunuttin, like she did with the school trouble he got into? LOL

Quite possible that she's helping set the strategy. Notice in the docket that Skylar declined an omnibus hearing. This was his last, best chance to get a deal. It makes no sense not to hear the state's offer. However, Skylar is not known for his good judgment, and it seems likely that his mommy is backing his play.

 

[LiveFromNS]

So, I went back and looked at the OP and of course the link to the YT video he uploaded about the poster confrontation is no longer accessible. I scrolled through first 10 pages or so and someone uploaded it to mixtape as a backup but that link is dead too. Did a very quick search and skimmed through a Reddit post and someone uploaded the video in 3 parts to Streamable. But only the first part can be seen now. I grabbed it and saved below.

Does anyone know/recall if we have the full poster video somewhere else backed up in thread or is the below 1st part all we now have of it?

https://streamable.com/qar4r

 

[The Taco Santo!]

I can't believe his lawyer didn't convince him to take some bullshit plea deal. He probably could have gotten off with a misdemeanor, maybe even expungement if he was a good boy for a year or something. However, such a deal would likely have required Skylar to make an apology, and we all know he won't do that.

I wonder if Mama showed up to defend her precious boy against the prosecutor. It would be kino to get the transcript, probably better than his college disciplinary meeting.

 

[AprilRains]

I've been given scans of a few of the documents in this case. I've attached them to this post.

Some items I found interesting:

• If convicted, and with no plea deal, Skylar will get between two and ten years.
  
• He may plead justifiable use of force:
  
• He has rejected most mitigation strategies, but there's one he's left open:
  

 

[LiveFromNS]

Great, always good to have official documents and filings.

I am only looking at the screenshots as I'm just heading out but it appears he is reserving his right to say he is retarded instead of trying to mount his defence by claiming say he was in the right to assault the LEO?

Wow, that must be a tough decision for him to make as we have all seen he is the type of person to not admit he is a tard and its always the other person who is to blame. At least some type of solid proof needs to be filed to show he is indeed fucked in the head, if any gets filed hopefully we get to see it but I would guess that we just have to see how it all plays out as I assume any psych reports would not be publicly available would they?

I assume when May 14th comes and goes if nothing is filed by the State to counter his playing the tard card then its likely he didn't get the psych report done or they aren't contesting it? I do see that he can try and use the "I'm slow in the head" at sentencing too if he is convicted.

But wow, how far has the little Eagle Scout fallen. Facing time in prison, potentially admitting he is retarded etc. Good thing, like all lolcows, he won't learn from this and we should get some more to laugh at as this winds its way through the court system. If he does get convicted, and ultimately goes to prison, it won't be his mommy tucking him in at night and giving him a handjob to sooth his 'tism. And if he gets off, you just know he is going to sperg about him being unlawfully arrested/charged. He might even file a tard suit over it.

Nice work @AprilRains providing these docs. Semper Fi, you (and the person who gave you the docs) are much appreciated for documenting and updating us all.

 

[AprilRains]

Wow, that must be a tough decision for him to make as we have all seen he is the type of person to not admit he is a tard and its always the other person who is to blame.

He seems to make an exception when he decides that his retardation is everyone else's problem. His mother tried that during the hearing at Carroll. That bit was pretty hilarious; I think she said that his autism was visibly obvious, and that's the truth.

I dunno. He's a narcissist but also a snake. The trial should be a hoot.

 

[The Noise]

I've been given scans of a few of the documents in this case. I've attached them to this post.

Some items I found interesting:

• If convicted, and with no plea deal, Skylar will get between two and ten years.
  View attachment 7342053
• He may plead justifiable use of force:
  View attachment 7342056
• He has rejected most mitigation strategies, but there's one he's left open:
  View attachment 7342071

It's going to be a bad year so far for his bank account.

 

[glass_houses]

He's a narcissist but also a snake.

No need to repeat yourself, mate.

 

[The Taco Santo!]

He seems to make an exception when he decides that his retardation is everyone else's problem. His mother tried that during the hearing at Carroll. That bit was pretty hilarious; I think she said that his autism was visibly obvious, and that's the truth.

I liked the whole "My boy's made no friends here, what have you done/are you going to do about it?" part best.

 

[AprilRains]

Skylar's trial began on Monday. A friend of mine was in attendance. Here's my summary of her observations:

The prosecutor started off strong with a quote from Skylar: "Then you shouldn't have effing pushed me, should you?" Bowlderization aside, it sets the tone of her argument. Skylar admits his guilt right away.

The newspaper article got some things wrong that the prosecutor corrected in her summary. Skylar was harassing an older woman, not two teenage girls; he wasn't at a hot dog vendor, but rather at a table run by the Montana Republican Party; he was repeatedly insisting that Donald Trump claimed that he was going to eliminate elections, and also that Trump was a pedophile because of his connection with Epstein.

Skylar did some real damage to the sheriff as well. He suffered an injured eye which required surgery to save, facial bruising, and a damaged knee. Furthermore, his behavior in the two video recordings of the incident was off-the-charts bad, including that initial quote.

The defense had two lines of argument: The body cam footage didn't show any punch, and Skylar is socially awkward - not autistic, or at least not that they'll admit to. (Note that the footage didn't show the lack of a punch either. Skylar crowded the sheriff and thus the punch wasn't visible on camera.) Defense also promised that we'd hear from Skylar himself. That's right - tard boy is taking the stand in his own defense. Dis gon b gud.

Two witnesses took the stand to describe what they saw of Skylar's behavior. They were credible, obviously nervous about testifying but coherent and credible. One of the witnesses saw Skylar throw the first of multiple punches.

Sheriff Leo Dutton took the stand next. He was avuncular and smooth, a practiced witness. The defense unwisely tried to get aggressive when cross-examining him, and got slapped down for their trouble. The cross-examination will continue tomorrow.

Skylar looks like a mortician whose funeral home failed. Worse, he wore the exact same shirt he wore in the video of the assault, driving home the connection between him and his actions. His resting bitch face is doing him no favors.

Skylar's mother looks like many men's first wives: Karen haircut, forbidding expression. Skylar's father did not appear.

 

[RodgerDodger]

Skylar's father did not appear.

I'm fairly certain Skylar's father has not appeared in years. Skylar is the endpoint of "Young Man raised exclusively by Crazy Bitch".

 

[AnOminous]

That's right - tard boy is taking the stand in his own defense. Dis gon b gud.

He must really want the max. I can't imagine anything that would piss off the jury more than listening to this smug faggot spouting arrogant autism.