So bad it's good

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
OtterParty said:
Could I have a moment of your time to tell you of our lord and savior Uoikih
Click to expand...
Fareal said:
I just googled this and the answer is fuck no.
Click to expand...

I had forgotten about redwall, a quick google of 'uoikh' turned up this quote:
"No rat, weasel, stoat, ferret, or fox alive had ever seen Cluny naked, not even the sexy she-rats he'd had down in the taverns by the docks."
Click to expand...

Not how i remember those books at all O.o
 
Pretty much everything written by Russian avant-garde writer and poet Daniil Kharms. His works read much better in Russian, though - a great deal of the charm is lost in translation.

(text taken from here)
Blue Notebook #10

Once there lived a red-haired man who lacked eyes and ears. Ha was also lacking all hair, so he was called red-haired only with a large degree of
generalization.
He couldn't speak, as he was lacking a mouth. The same with his nose.
Even arms and legs, he just didn't have any. Nor stomach, nor backside, nor spine. And no intestine. He didn't have anything! Therefore it is totally unclear who is being discussed.
In fact, let's not talk about him anymore.
Click to expand...

An Optical Illusion

Semion Semionovich, puts his glasses on, looks at a pine tree and he sees that in the pine tree sits a man showing him a fist.

Semion Semionovich, takes his glasses off, looks at the pine tree and sees that there is no one sitting in the pine tree.

Semion Semionovich, puts his glasses on, looks at the pine tree, and again sees that in the pine tree sits a man showing him a fist.

Semion Semionovich, takes his glasses off, looks at the pine tree and again sees that there is no one sitting in the pine tree.

Semion Semionovich, puts his glasses on, looks at the pine tree, and again sees that in the pine tree sits a man showing him a fist.

Semion Semionovich does not want to believe this phenomenon and considers it to be an optical illusion.
Click to expand...

Four illustrations on how a new idea dumbfounds a man that was not ready for it

I
The Writer: I am a writer!
The Reader: And I think you are shit!
(The Writer stands there for a few minutes shocked by this new idea, falls dead. He is carried away.)

II
The Painter: I am a painter!
The Worker: And I think you are shit!
(The Painter went pale as a canvas, and shaking like a little leaf, suddenly dies. He is carried away.)

III
The Composer: I am a composer!
Ivan Rublev: And I think you are shit!
(The composer, breathing heavily, dies. He is carried away.)

IV
The Chemist: I am a chemist!
The Physicist: And I think you are shit!
(The Chemist didn't say another word and falls heavily on the floor.)
Click to expand...

Falling Old Ladies

A certain old lady, out of excessive curiosity, fell out of a window and splattered on the ground.

Another old lady peeked out of the window, staring down at the remains of the first one, but she also, out of excessive curiosity, fell out of the window and splattered on the ground.

Then a third old lady fell out of the window, then a fourth, then a fifth.

By the time the sixth old lady fell out of the window, I got bored watching them and went to Maltsev market where, they say, someone gave a knitted shawl to a certain blind man.
Click to expand...

Things that happened

One day Orlov stuffed himself with so much mashed beans that he died. And Krylov, on finding out about Orlov, died too. And Spridinov died also, but for no reason whatsoever. And Spiridonov's wife fell off a kitchen cabinet and died as well. And Spridonov's children drowned in a pond. And Spiridonov's grandmother became an alcoholic and ended up on the street. And Mikailov stopped combing his hair and fell sick. And Kruglov sketched a drawing of a lady holding a whip and went mad. And Perevostov received four hundred roubles by wire and got so cocky about it that he got kicked out of work.

Good people are simply incapable of getting a firm foothold in life.
Click to expand...

Pushkin and Gogol

Gogol (falls off one side of the stage, behind the curtains, and lies there quietly).

Pushkin (walks in, trips over Gogol and falls): Damn! I must have tripped over Gogol!

Gogol (getting up): Such a headache! They wouldn't let me rest! (Walks, trips over Pushkin and falls). Must've tripped over Pushkin!

Pushkin (getting up): Not a minute of rest! (Walks, trips over Gogol and falls). Damn! Must be over Gogol again.

Gogol (getting up): He is always in my way! (Walks, trips over Pushkin and falls). This is such a headache! Must've tripped again over Pushkin!

Pushkin (getting up): Hooliganism! Vicious hooliganism! (Walks, trips over Gogol and falls). Damn! Must be over Gogol again!

Gogol (getting up): What a vicious harasment! (Walks, trips over Pushkin and falls). Must've tripped over Pushkin!

Pushkin (getting up): Damn! Really, damn! (Walks, trips over Gogol and falls). Over Gogol!

Gogol (getting up): Headache! (Walks, trips over Pushkin and falls). Over Pushkin!

Pushkin (getting up): Damn! (Walks, trips over Gogol and falls behind the stage). Over Gogol!

Gogol (getting up): Headache! (Walks off the stage).

Gogol's voice can be heard from behind the stage: "Over Pushkin!".

The curtains descend.
Click to expand...

He also wrote absurdist poems for children, but they are actually good.
 
Guardian G.I. said:
Pretty much everything written by Russian avant-garde writer and poet Daniil Kharms. His works read much better in Russian, though - a great deal of the charm is lost in translation.
(text taken from here)
He also wrote absurdist poems for children, but they are actually good.
Click to expand...

II
The Painter: I am a painter!
The Worker: *sprits water*
(The Painter went pale as a canvas, and shaking like a little leaf, suddenly dies. He is carried away.)
Click to expand...

tumblr_m849n96goP1qg813wo1_500.png
 
The Room deserves an Academy Award. I've never seen anything fail so horribly and yet still be so entertaining. My Immortal still makes me laugh, too.

A lesser-known gem is Moon Daughter, a Percy Jackson fanfic. It gets points just for having Artemis, a refined and regal goddess, scream "FUCK THOU"
 
This book is so impossibly stupid that it loops around to stupidly awesome. It's a camp, unscientific, unrealistic sci fi romp with daft aliens, silly storylines and a butt ton of senseless politics. It also contains the single largest deus ex machina in all Sci Fi in the form of the fact that the Psyclo breathe-gas explodes in the presence fuckin' RADIATION which flies in the face of all physics. I read it as a kid and loved it and to this day I still love it. Hubbard was an evil twat but god could he write some damn fine crap!
Battlefield_earth_book_cover.jpg
 
What good timing this thread is; I just picked up a winner last weekend and hit the jackpot. It's called Howling Moon. Anyone heard of it before? It's bad.

It's the one on the right. I haven't opened the other book yet.
XrEbbz6.jpg


Here's the back. Everyone wants to be a dog and fuck.
6NNDlTy.jpg


This is how the book begins. With a literal "wake up sleepyhead" cliché. A main character WAKES UP AND IS TOLD BY SOMEONE ABOUT THE PLOT.
IJuhQDk.jpg


This horseshit sentence. After that I got out the highlighter.
PevelK8.jpg


Ending a serious scene with a bigass typo is one of my favorite things.
pq0y1W1.jpg


Here's where it got worse. Not only did the author give a full name to an irrelevant character, she wrote the same paragraph twice and forgot to delete one. Oh and so far, characters' careers include romance novelist, computer hardware designer, and video game designer. The book also has references to mainstream pop culture like X-men, which wouldn't normally be awful, but it's just shoved in there like how nerds talk WAY TOO LOUDLY from the Gamestop counter so people understand how nerdy they are.
4j9sRpk.jpg

So far the book is fantastic. I hope I have the energy to keep going; there are enough goofs 'n gaffs that I'm highlighting 0-3 times per page. I think it's great but I'll wait to see if anyone else thinks the same before posting more.
 
Warden said:
What good timing this thread is; I just picked up a winner last weekend and hit the jackpot. It's called Howling Moon. Anyone heard of it before? It's bad.

It's the one on the right. I haven't opened the other book yet.
XrEbbz6.jpg


Here's the back. Everyone wants to be a dog and fuck.
6NNDlTy.jpg


This is how the book begins. With a literal "wake up sleepyhead" cliché. A main character WAKES UP AND IS TOLD BY SOMEONE ABOUT THE PLOT.
IJuhQDk.jpg


This horseshit sentence. After that I got out the highlighter.
PevelK8.jpg


Ending a serious scene with a bigass typo is one of my favorite things.
pq0y1W1.jpg


Here's where it got worse. Not only did the author give a full name to an irrelevant character, she wrote the same paragraph twice and forgot to delete one. Oh and so far, characters' careers include romance novelist, computer hardware designer, and video game designer. The book also has references to mainstream pop culture like X-men, which wouldn't normally be awful, but it's just shoved in there like how nerds talk WAY TOO LOUDLY from the Gamestop counter so people understand how nerdy they are.
4j9sRpk.jpg

So far the book is fantastic. I hope I have the energy to keep going; there are enough goofs 'n gaffs that I'm highlighting 0-3 times per page. I think it's great but I'll wait to see if anyone else thinks the same before posting more.
Click to expand...
Oh god, it's like somebody read Twilight and then actively went, "Meh, I could do worse," then that became the ambition.
 
Root Her.

It's competently written. Diction's quite nice. Flow's fairly OK. Honestly, I could see this guy being a fairly good writer if he didn't spend all of his time and effort meticulously recreating a man getting raped by a velociraptor.
 
Sanae Kochiya said:
Root Her.

It's competently written. Diction's quite nice. Flow's fairly OK. Honestly, I could see this guy being a fairly good writer if he didn't spend all of his time and effort meticulously recreating a man getting raped by a velociraptor.
Click to expand...
How were you able to post this link and gloss over the goldmine website??
 
Org's Odyssey by Duke Otterland. Pretty much everything you need to know about this book is summed up in a single sentence from this review.
In three pages the author forgot why Brandon was there, who he was related to, and that even in his fucked up world a pair of deer don't beget a badger with wings.
Click to expand...
The full version has basically been expunged from the internet (hallelujah) and physical copies are very rare, but you can get a good idea of the horrors within from what's available on Amazon's "look inside" function and the review. I dare you to read the second page of the prolouge without stopping. It's impossible. Org's Odyssey is great material for drinking games, but reading this book alone and sober is masochism incarnate.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom