so what's up?

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NQ 952

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lolcows are filled with shit flinging exceptionals right now. what's going on with you?
 
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Sucking souls from the living to begin my rise back to power where everything you know will burn.:dunsparce:#TYCED
 
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Not much buddy. How are you?
 
I'm addicted to lazing around, junk food, and reading about lol-cows and reddit cringe subs

I'm in a job where I work with younger people and feel awkward and shy

I'm in my early 30s

I have annoying, intense Asperger friends who I spend a lot of time avoiding

I feel bad about my shyness and feeling weird and un-sexy

I got beaten up a few times as a kid which I have flashbacks to and self harm (punching self)

On the upside, I have a nice apartment which I'm very lucky to be in, get some good exercize, have fruit and veg to eat, live in a beautiful place with lovely hills to run around, have some new Christa Faust and Laurel K Hamilton books to read and a "how to train your dragon" dvd box set to watch. I've got some people chatting to me on tinder too (though I haven't met any of them yet). And I'm trying really hard with meditation and yoga to ease my soul and overcome the self harm. I'm also very lucky to be able to regularly visit my children.
 
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Trying to get some writing done, wondering where the weekend and the entire month of August went.

Where the heck did the YEAR go? Hey how about that new Force Awakens huh? I spent the whole night lying awake wondering who Rey's dad is and growling at how the black guy sucked what about you?
 
On the plus side I might able to break another one of my nocturnal cycles and getting back to being up and interacting in daylight if I sleep tonight.

...on the downside I'm still stuck in an existential hate spiral where I wonder what even the point of trying to make my shitty life better is when it all looks hopeless; especially now that I'm now 24 and ergo my prime time has fucking passed.

On the middle line; all this tropical depression shit around my state means stormy weather looks like it's here to stay, which is great even if there's like three or six trees on our property that could fall over in a stiff breeze.
 
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