Sonic Movie Thread - From a Disastrous Teaser/Trailer to Not That Bad a Movie; Got a Sequel

[nyess]

So, ign was given the chance to show off a little teaser of the new upcoming sonic movie, helped in part by people who have worked on "deadpool" and "the fast and the furious"

Here is what he looks like

the sonic movie is expected to be in theaters november of 2019

https://www.ign.com/articles/2018/1...-look-check-out-the-exclusive-official-poster

Spoiler

 

[CatParty]

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

The poster just makes Sonic look like a streaker with a bad haircut. It looks to me like they're trying to do what Detective Pikachu is doing where they're making the fantasy animals look "realistic", but that pushes Sonic even further into the uncanny valley, and the fact he already looks creepy in silhouette isn't a good sign.

 

[Intelligent Calcium]

From the silhouette alone I can already tell that he's gonna look uncanny as fuck because they try to apply realistic features (fur, bone structure) to a very cartoony design.

Sonic, voiced by Ben Schwartz, finds himself in our present-day world, wherein he develops a relationship with James Marsden's Tom Wachowski and also finds himself at odds with Jim Carrey's Dr. Robotnik.

Did they find that script in a glass case from 2002 labeled "break in case franchise hasn't embarassed itself for five minutes"?

 

[bigbombguy1111]

He has blue arms

Someone is getting maced

 

[Judge Holden]

He has blue arms

Someone is getting maced

NIGGA I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THAT WHAT THE HELL?!

also yeah this is going to be.....interesting. Not the movie of course* but the reaction from the collected 30 years of sonic autism and original-hedgehog-donut-steel communities

*unless its a straight up adaptation of the PINGAS! era sonic cartoon in which case it might be fun for the maymes

 

[Mender Bug]

He has blue arms

Someone is getting maced

DONT TELL ANYONE

 

[RG 448]

It looks to me like they're trying to do what Detective Pikachu is doing where they're making the fantasy animals look "realistic", but that pushes Sonic even further into the uncanny valley, and the fact he already looks creepy in silhouette isn't a good sign.

I hope his surface textures are all photorealistic but he still has that weird giant single eyeball nobody ever seems willing to acknowlege.

 

[Henry Wyatt]

>blue arms

 

[Judge Holden]

>blue arms

>unironic shrek cringe mayme image

Honestly tho, I wonder in what way chris will be prodded to respond to this since it seems like the kinda shit chris spergs will spam at him all day every day until they get a response.

 

[Henry Wyatt]

>unironic shrek cringe mayme image

Honestly tho, I wonder in what way chris will be prodded to respond to this since it seems like the kinda shit chris spergs will spam at him all day every day until they get a response.

>assuming im being unironic
MOM GET THE CAMERA
also im sure chris will just ignore them like he ignores julay weens
that or he will end up sperging out about the movie

 

[RG 448]

He has blue arms

Someone is getting maced

What sonic is supposed to look like:

 

[Judge Holden]

>assuming im being unironic
MOM GET THE CAMERA
also im sure chris will just ignore them like he ignores julay I HAVE AUTISM PLEASE LAUGH AT ME
that or he will end up sperging out about the movie

>not getting the irony hidden within my ironic claim you are being unironic

I was thinking more about those who have actual contact with him who have been forcibly poking him to say and do certain things since this seems like ideal bait for them

 

[The Cunting Death]

th-th-thanks paramount

 

[Cool kitties club]

From the silhouette alone I can already tell that he's gonna look uncanny as fuck because they try to apply realistic features (fur, bone structure) to a very cartoony design.

Did they find that script in a glass case from 2002 labeled "break in case franchise hasn't embarassed itself for five minutes"?

His head is too big for the realistic body. Looks like some guy wearing an oversized fur suit head

 

[MasterDisaster]

So how many times will Chris see it? I'm calling at least 3 times.

 

[CatParty]

So how many times will Chris see it? I'm calling at least 3 times.

how many times before he's arrested is the real question

 

[Cowpies]

Let the new blarms saga begin!

 

[8777BB5]

So they've got a live action Pokemon, Live Action Sonic...All they need now is a live action Thomas the Tank Engine and Live Action My Little Pony and we'll be set for The Avengers of Autism

 

[MasterDisaster]

how many times before he's arrested is the real question

Just imagine him at the local theater, mumbling the whole time about how the arms aren't blue.
He whines during the movie.
He whines on his way out.

The next day he comes back, flesh paint in hand. He tries to 'improve' the movie posters, the staff trying to stop him as he starts flailing and screaming at them.

The police arrive, calmly asking him to stand down. He spazzes out instead, blaming the theater for showcasing this 'blue arm faker'; an officer pulls out his mace and informs Chris he has five seconds to back down or he'll be maced. Chris pulls out his pepper spray and before he can act the cop hits him square in the face.

What follows next is nothing short of a mess; Chris is screaming, wailing at the top of his lungs. He's filling his pants as he hits the ground, rolling around as snot and tears cake his face.
He's handcuffed and taken to jail for the next few days.

A week later; Chris attempts to sneak into the theater to see it again because he heard there was a hidden scene. His disguise does not fool the staff and they kick him out.

Everyone is at fault except him.