Speedrunning Thread / Speedrunner Community - GOTTA GO FAST

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King Of Braves said:
If you were worried about sexual assault from autists and AGP troons before, hoo boy...
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For once, it would be troons the one being sexually harassed because if Indians were interested in speedrunning, they'd be asking for bobs and vagene from the troons.

"b-b-but I'm a boy..."
"hehehe u look like girl to me ma'am"
"it's sir..."
"sorry, please show bobs saar"
 
Oliver Onions said:
Now I only watch the personal channels of runners I like, none of which have trooned out yet thankfully (although some are on the edge I just know it).
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Kosmic, Goose (Speedlore), Jobst (even after being buckbroken), Nifski... Those are sill entertaining to watch which an AGP troon saying "trans rites!" is not.

BrainProlapse said:
Now that I've given them another chance most of a decade later, all I hear is "Trans Rights" and can't help but wish for the Germans again.
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The good old times of regular shitposting from the Eurofags compared to troonposting on current year(s)

Seymour Duncan said:
The stupidly specific categories can be fine if they're highly entertaining gimmicks, but yeah most of the time it's just some jackoff inventing a category to avoid actual competition in the main categories.
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Cosmo/Narcissa wright and the arbitrary categories meltdown, oh how time passes.
 
Karl Jobst's Asian Wife said:
Where are the Indian speedrunners? There are millions of these bioweapons/locusts flooding the West but I don't recall a single Indian at GDQ.
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Actually there was a GDQ event about two years ago where /v/ found out that you could access the live feed of the staff couch that they used for prize segments and managed to capture one of the bio women (FrozenFlygone) making out with an indian troon, cheating on her boyfriend at the time. Kungfufruitcup another notable female GDQ inner core member also allegedly cheated on her boyfriend with a pajeet and then cheated on said pajeet later.
 
Hector Hamsteak said:
Actually there was a GDQ event about two years ago where /v/ found out that you could access the live feed of the staff couch that they used for prize segments and managed to capture one of the bio women (FrozenFlygone) making out with an indian troon, cheating on her boyfriend at the time. Kungfufruitcup another notable female GDQ inner core member also allegedly cheated on her boyfriend with a pajeet and then cheated on said pajeet later.
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Who knew so many lady autists were coprophiles
 
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Jesus fucking christ, how horrifying
 
Seymour Duncan said:
The stupidly specific categories can be fine if they're highly entertaining gimmicks, but yeah most of the time it's just some jackoff inventing a category to avoid actual competition in the main categories.
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Reminds me of a funny story pertaining to a particularly notable cow from the farms.

So a few years ago, infamous tranny Brianna "John Walker Flynt" Wu decided to add speedrunner to the long list of things he LARPs as, spending large amounts of (his husband's) money on original hardware to show the plebs how it's done. His game of choice? Super Mario Bros. 2, because he could play as Princess Peach the whole game (he's a true and honest woman, did you know).

Was he good? Not at all. His best times would keep him out of the top 100, and it's not even close. However, SMB2 was also rereleased on the SNES as part of Super Mario All-Stars, which is run significantly less than the original, and it's not like the original is run that much to begin with compared to other Mario games. Even then, he still wouldn't crack top 50 with his time. However, the leaderboards have specific categories set up for single-character runs, including splits between the original and All-Stars. How does John do? In this incredibly niche category, John places 16th.

But that's not enough, he needs to prove he's the best Princess Peach in the world (have I mentioned he's a woman). Luckily for him, SMB2 was later rereleased again on the GBA, which is run significantly less than either the original or All-Stars releases. Unfortunately, there's no single-character leaderboards to let him shortcut his way to the top. He brings this up on the forums, and he's initially shot down by the mod because he correctly points out that adding a bunch of categories nobody runs would just clog up the page. After John uploads a Peach-only run, he relents and adds the categories.
1768336106411.png
For a brief shining moment, John is on top...
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And then, less than a week later, the same exact mod posts a run that beats his time, by nearly a minute no less.

To be fair, John does still have a single world record, in the Peach-only any% no save-and-quit category. Yep, he's the absolute best SMB2 Peach speedrunner in the world...in a version of the game nobody runs...in a hyper-specific category...that wouldn't exist if he didn't specifically beg for its inclusion. It's probably not even that good of a time, and someone competent could likely dethrone him, but nobody cares enough to try. Just like the mod said, all eight of these categories have only one or two runs submitted at most, years after they were added. I can only hope some other autist steps up to the plate and knocks him off that incredibly low pedestal.

As for John, he gave up on his speedrunning ambitions immediately after his other time was beat, not even attempting to put up a better time. I think he still bragged occasionally about being the best Peach speedrunner in the world for a while, despite the stupidity of such a statement, but I don't think he brings it up anymore.

Finally, to wrap up this long post, I leave you with a relevant and hilarious speedrun leaderboard (which I just noticed had a new run posted two months ago):
1768336227589.png
SmegmaKing/EmptyHero did a stream where he beat John's shitty game (that he didn't actually do any work on, just managed poorly) without really trying and made the leaderboard as a shitpost, and a few years later someone else comes along and actually posts a decent time. They even called it a "noglitch nocock" run. You love to see it.
 
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Blewberry Nausea said:
The hell you say no one heard of that game. I played the shit out of it as a kid! Because I am old and loved adventure games!

Wait…are you saying I am a nobody??? :heart-empty:

Weird game to speed run though. You’d be just clicking through texts and moving through static screens selecting the right options as fast as possible to…get to the next static screens/text box? The audience is too young to know what is going on so it is just going to be random journey through an office to a car with a weird lady in a trunk then whoa random mugging and then sewer alligator and oh shit why are we breaking into someone’s bedroom?
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And you get to punch a wino crumb bum in the face but I don't think he even notices.
 
I've tried watching ESA but the combination of insufferable Europeans and encroaching troonification (most social developments are on a ten year lag from America so their troon critical mass has still yet to happen) has just made me not want to tune in.

I do like RPG Limit Break. A mental health charity seems like an apt thing to donate to for speedrunning. Also the longer games and smaller scale means the format is much less dominated by a machine gun barrage of TRANS RIGHTS and GREETINGS FROM GERMANY. I dunno, maybe RPG speedrunners are just less likely to be narcissists.

Honestly though, the whole scene needs a big setback before it'll get its shit in order. It's rotten to the core and needs to be in a crisis mode to finally unfuck itself.

Hector Hamsteak said:
Actually there was a GDQ event about two years ago where /v/ found out that you could access the live feed of the staff couch that they used for prize segments and managed to capture one of the bio women (FrozenFlygone) making out with an indian troon, cheating on her boyfriend at the time. Kungfufruitcup another notable female GDQ inner core member also allegedly cheated on her boyfriend with a pajeet and then cheated on said pajeet later.
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When your SO is drawn from the genetic detritus that is the speedrunning community, even troonjeets seem like Chad.
 
Dopey Cunt said:
As far as I can tell, there hasn't been any injection of corpo stuff or ads. I've mostly just been watching them on youtube and it feels a lot more grassroots than whatever GDQ has become. If you ask me, it's definitely the lesser evil and I'd take corpo over troonery anyway.

I have never seen a chinese runner on anything. Even looking through the official speedrunning website, a lot of records are mostly dominated by NA, EU and JP with maybe an occasional Taiwanese thrown in there somewhere.
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Speedrunning results in losing social credit points.

Ayana Otonashi said:
i would prefer if the trannies were to be quiet executed on stream.
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Improved it.
 
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Hector Hamsteak said:
Actually there was a GDQ event about two years ago where /v/ found out that you could access the live feed of the staff couch that they used for prize segments and managed to capture one of the bio women (FrozenFlygone) making out with an indian troon, cheating on her boyfriend at the time. Kungfufruitcup another notable female GDQ inner core member also allegedly cheated on her boyfriend with a pajeet and then cheated on said pajeet later.
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Helping Friendly Book said:
GDQ started as a place for the socially awkward and autistic to gather
GDQ is still that today, except half of them have convinced themselves they look really good in dresses and makeup, except they look like fucking frankenstein, figuratively and literally
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GDQ is a fractal offshoot of the macro nerd space. The truly socially awkward and autistic got screwed over so hard by trannyism.
Alphanerds used to be the guys who would rules-lawyer like orthodox jews, who would DM as antagonistically to the players as possible, would "um akshually" every lore discussion, and would be the ones running the booster draft events with an iron fist. They were obnoxious Comic Book Guys but they created an environment for other speds to enjoy themselves doing gay nerd shit, and their particular type of turn-based aspergers leaned into social control and scheduling events. Once the Transgender DLC dropped and the social control meta changed irrevocably it was never the same.
 
Karl Jobst's Asian Wife said:
Now that you mention it, there is a noticeable lack of non-Japanese Asians doing speedrunning. We're not including Asian-Americans which there are some.

Where are the Korean speedrunners? They're famous for being good at Starcraft and Tekken.
Where are the Chinese speedrunners? They're obsessed with gatcha games and there's also some of them in fighting games like King of Fighters.
Where are the Indian speedrunners? There are millions of these bioweapons/locusts flooding the West but I don't recall a single Indian at GDQ. Even their rivals Pakistan has some success in Tekken.

Maybe the speedrunning demographic has a different class/gene of autism.
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There's also:

Where are the Middle Eastern speedrunners? Pakistanis are known for playing Tekken after Arslan Ash started winning Tekken tournaments, and Arslan also played The King of Fighters competitively.
Where are the Southeast Asian speedrunners? SEA gamers usually play mobile games now after internet cafes shutdown because of COVID, and the Vietnamese still play Age of Empires 1 for some reason.
Where are the Mongolian speedrunners? In addition to them playing mobile games, they also have presence in competitive Counter-Strike, and one team (The MongolZ) even is officially recognized by the Mongolian government.

And this Indian guy single-handily killed off the Indian CS scene by using cheats in a LAN event, and the cheat was called WORD.EXE:

1768367936213.png

And this other Indian guy won the Pokémon GO World Championship last year:

1768367988342.png
 
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Karl Jobst's Asian Wife said:
"b-b-but I'm a boy..."
"hehehe u look like girl to me ma'am"
"it's sir..."
"sorry, please show bobs saar"
Click to expand...
remove the indian element and replace it with a fed and this is literally how the tranny ending of that guilty gear game that came out a while back played out that retconned a character into a tranny. GDQ troons fully supported it by the way.

My point is jeet and reddit/twitter troon overlap in mentality needs to be studied.
 
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Thiletonomics said:
There's also:

Where are the Middle Eastern speedrunners? Pakistanis are known for playing Tekken after Arslan Ash started winning Tekken tournaments, and Arslan also played The King of Fighters competitively.
Where are the Southeast Asian speedrunners? SEA gamers usually play mobile games now after internet cafes shutdown because of COVID, and the Vietnamese still play Age of Empires 1 for some reason.
Where are the Mongolian speedrunners? In addition to them playing mobile games, they also have presence in competitive Counter-Strike, and one team (The MongolZ) even is officially recognized by the Mongolian government.

And this Indian guy single-handily killed off the Indian CS scene by using cheats in a LAN event, and the cheat was called WORD.EXE:

View attachment 8417007

And this other Indian guy won the Pokémon GO World Championship last year:

View attachment 8417009
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Indians are Asian....?
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