Spunt's helpful guide to Britain for fat Americans - Learn about Anglos so you can hate them better

[Uncle Warren]

I hate the british more than I hate niggers.

 

[NerdShamer]

So, how's those antisocial behavior orders working out for you guys?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Why do so many British places have "ham" in the name?

 

[Shig O'nella]

Why do so many British places have "ham" in the name?

From Hame. Means home.

 

[419]

I could not have asked for a better thread than this. Begrudgingly as a "Londoner" (read: foreigner cunt), I'd also be remiss if I didn't point out some of the stark differences between even different parts of the city. With factors like the existence of London's 32 boroughs and respective councils, and more than double that amount of Parliamentary constituencies, different areas of London might as well be different cities in the way that they present themselves, the way things are run and even the local "culture" surrounding those areas.

Jay Foreman touches on the administration side of things quite nicely in his Unfinished London series, particularly in the 10th video here.

Meanwhile Suli Breaks gives a somewhat decent introductory rundown on the attitudes of the wider North, East, South and West London areas as a teaser to a longer documentary series called London,I.

Spoiler: Transcript in case you can't stand the road accent

North London became known for its adventurous girls, money-making boys and a strong football culture, due to it being the home of two of London's biggest football clubs, Arsenal and Tottenham.
East London became known for its sexy girls, dangerous boys and musical culture. After all, it is the home of grime. (ay wha? [ ... ] wha you sayin, you want bars blud? you want BARS, yh? wha? EAST LONDON WHERE THE MANDEM BANG, RUDEBOY COME ROUND YOU WILL GET BANGED... COME ROUND HERE Y- J- GET BANGED)
South London? South London became known as a no-go zone. It's like even if you were from South London it was a no-go zone. South was like a feral, lawless region where the girls wouldn't hesitate to rob or stab you, and the boys would peel the skin from your face and tell you to smile while they took a picture with you.
West London became known for being quite a standalone area, where its girls were quite classy, and the boys were dynamic and always had nice garms [clothes].

While I'm at it, have this hysterical fucking clip as well that someone took a few years back somewhere in East.

 

[Thomas Talus]

On a scale from zero to Essex, how passed-out-drunk face down in the street are you?

 

[Troonos]

Don't forget to tell fat Americans that the UK's obesity rate is quickly narrowing the gap with that of the US, and that in some age ranges, the UK's prevalence has already surpassed the Amerifats.

 

[Spunt]

Don't forget to tell fat Americans that the UK's obesity rate is quickly narrowing the gap with that of the US, and that in some age ranges, the UK's prevalence has already surpassed the Amerifats.

If Scotland were to become independent, it would have the highest obesity rates, teen pregnancy rates, drug addiction rates and alcohol consumption rates of anywhere in the Western world.

 

[Marissa Moira]

If Scotland were to become independent, it would have the highest obesity rates, teen pregnancy rates, drug addiction rates and alcohol consumption rates of anywhere in the Western world.

Well of course, do you realize that 80% of Scotland are all government workers?

 

[Mooger Meng]

You might have to explain what slash the bed means, for those of a Yankee persuasion (no offence intended to those south of the Mason-Dixie line, everyone knows you guys are the best Americans).
Edit errant comma

You're good, fam. To mangle the old joke: to the Brits, a Yankee is a Colonial; to the South, a Yankee is anyone from the North; to the deep South, a Yankee is anyone from out of town.

 

[Dysnomia]

From Hame. Means home.

And "Chester" has something to do with the Roman empire, right? It's been a long time since I've been to college and it's too #woke for me now.

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

Means piss the bed. if you're going for a slash it means your going for a piss. Don't know where the term comes from or why people say it though.

That's funny: that's made its way to Canada, although we say "rocking a slash" and it's mainly an Easterner thing.

 

[Shig O'nella]

And "Chester" has something to do with the Roman empire, right? It's been a long time since I've been to college and it's too #woke for me now.

Yep. Anglo Saxon bastardisation of castrum. Means camp or encampment. I like name stuff.

 

[Mark Knopfler]

What is Kent and Cornwall like? Like Canterbury and Plymouth? Are they any good?

 

[No. 7 cat]

One little interesting (or not interesting) details is how the neds (Scottish welfare class) drink some Buckfast / Buckie, which is a tonic wine made at Buckfast Buckfast Abbey in Devon, England. It drives them to commit crime.

 

[Pee Cola]

Great thread, OP. Whilst it's obviously aimed at Seppos, even those of us in the other Colonies can get something out of it.

Means piss the bed. if you're going for a slash it means your going for a piss. Don't know where the term comes from or why people say it though.

"Taking a slash" is commonly used in Australia too. My guess is that it's a very old British saying that came over here with the first convicts back in the late 1700s.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

While your beer is tolerable why does the food suck so much?

 

[soy_king]

While your beer is tolerable why does the food suck so much?

Their beer isn't shit cuz it's warm, it's shit cuz it's flat

 

[Neko GF]

I'm surprised that nobody posted this wonderful video that showcases the charm of the average English boy:

 

[Easterling]

And "Chester" has something to do with the Roman empire, right? It's been a long time since I've been to college and it's too #woke for me now.

Yes, anywhere with ester or oke at the end of it was a major Roman settlement, So Manchester or Stoke on trent (although Stoke on trent is actually made up of six smaller towns with Stoke City centre in the middle of them). The exception to this is Bath witch earns its name from the Large Roman bath houses there.

What is Kent and Cornwall like? Like Canterbury and Plymouth? Are they any good?

Cornwall is lovely, locals aren't the most hospitible mind you but the seaside and the scenery are very tranquil. The only downside to the place is becuase its so nice entire communities are being bought out for hoilday lets. Your legit getting ghost towns now becuase wealthy individuals typically from london are buying up all the homes, its not exactly sustainable since you wont have locals to fill the support sector built up around the tourism industry there.

Plymouth isnt actually in cornwall, its actually in Devon since its literally just over the county line, the only city in cornwall is Truro and its only a city becuase it has a Cathedral. Plymouth is a decent city, although you wont get any of its former victorian charm however since Germany levelled the shit out of it becuase it was one of the largest naval ports and still is.

This is one of the only reminders of what plymouth was prior to the war. The bombed out church is in the middle of a roundabout, everything else was destroyed so pretty much all of the city centre is depressing 1950s architecture and not even nice artdeco either.