Fwiw, if anyone else has a 30xx or 40xx series card:
Grab whatever version matches your system, open it, find /bin/ in the archive, extract all the DLLs there to /stable-diffusion-webui/venv/lib/site-packages/torch/lib/ replacing the ones that were there already.
Enjoy your absolutely absurd speedup. On a 4070ti I'm getting 1080p 70-steps generations in 0:49 and standard 512x512 30-steps in 0:02. For comparison those times were around 1:35 and 0:06 before.
E: This seems to have issues with some very large custom merged models (eg:
KompromatDiffusion). YMMV. Reverting is just a matter of zapping /site-packages/torch and relaunching or manually reinstalling it via pip.
ETA: Something else that's far more entertaining than it should be: If you just use a static wallpaper on your computer, throw the image into the deepbooru interrogator to get a prompt back for it (or
this, which is trickier but more reliable) and just feed it back into img2img with that prompt, batchsize one, high batch count to get a bunch of very very similar but not identical images. Throw all the results into a folder, set it to slideshow shuffle every couple hours.