Star Trek - Space: The Final Frontier

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"Humanize Klingons."

Sounds racist as fuck. You will be assimilated. If humans assimilated the Klingons how would humans be better than the Borg? Fuck Kurtzman.
It's especially grating because the Klingons have been dehumanized, if anything. We went from this:
Klingons-Star-Trek-TNG.jpg

To this:
dsc-sdcc2017-trailer-00017.jpg

This thing has no hair, an elongated head, and 4 fucking nostrils? How is that more human?
 
Klingons (at least in the TNG, DS9, VOY, and ENT continuity) were based on a combination of human cultures including Mongol, Viking, and Samurai. The new Klingons are fucking Meh.
They took a culture that was essentially a thought experiment about what pre-industrial humanity would look like had we been given spaceflight technology and made them boring Space Muslims with a fixation with their dead the Klingon never had in prior entries.
It's the perfect pairing of both insultingly bad worldbuilding and being in direct conflict with prior canon.
 
They took a culture that was essentially a thought experiment about what pre-industrial humanity would look like had we been given spaceflight technology and made them boring Space Muslims with a fixation with their dead the Klingon never had in prior entries.
It's the perfect pairing of both insultingly bad worldbuilding and being in direct conflict with prior canon.
I love the way the old Klingons gave absolutely 0 shits about their corpses. In their minds the body was meaningless trash, to be stripped of it's weapons and armor and either burned or carried away and tossed down the nearest rocky crag so it didn't attract predators. In their minds the warrior has departed, either to Sto'vo'kor or to Gre'thor. The corpse of a Klingon warrior means nothing, it means even less than his armor because at least that can be passed down and worn by his son or daughter.
And Klingons didn't focus on remembering their dead unless those dead were badasses. If they were truly worth anything then they'd be recorded in song and story, not stuck on some old hillside to rot and take up valuable land.
 
I love the way the old Klingons gave absolutely 0 shits about their corpses. In their minds the body was meaningless trash, to be stripped of it's weapons and armor and either burned or carried away and tossed down the nearest rocky crag so it didn't attract predators. In their minds the warrior has departed, either to Sto'vo'kor or to Gre'thor. The corpse of a Klingon warrior means nothing, it means even less than his armor because at least that can be passed down and worn by his son or daughter.
And Klingons didn't focus on remembering their dead unless those dead were badasses. If they were truly worth anything then they'd be recorded in song and story, not stuck on some old hillside to rot and take up valuable land.
Sounds like the Russians!
 
"Humanize Klingons."

Sounds racist as fuck. You will be assimilated. If humans assimilated the Klingons how would humans be better than the Borg? Fuck Kurtzman.

The point was to actually DE-humanize them; the show creators have flat out admitted they were meant to represent Trump supporters. For real. And we all know those aren't real human beings.
 
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The point was to actually DE-humanize them; the show creators have flat out admitted they were meant to represent Trump supporters. For real. And we all know those aren't real human beings.

Trek is dead. That's so pathetic. Klingons were never meant to be one dimensional villains even when they mostly were villains. And that's when Star Trek was a TV space opera mostly inspired by Golden Age SF and goofy space battles were a major element.
 
Trek is dead. That's so pathetic. Klingons were never meant to be one dimensional villains even when they mostly were villains. And that's when Star Trek was a TV space opera mostly inspired by Golden Age SF and goofy space battles were a major element.

It's been dead since 2005, but the final nail in the coffin was 2009. Right now it's just a defiled corpse being paraded around.
 
Alex Kurtzman's resume includes co-writing the first two Bayformers, the first two Abrams Treks, the second Amazing Spider-Man, and the 2017 Mummy. It's like he takes existing IPs and makes versions that are big middle fingers to longtime fans.
 
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Alex Kurtzman's resume includes co-writing the first two Bayformers, the first two Abrams Treks, the second Amazing Spider-Man, and the 2017 Mummy. It's like he takes existing IPs and makes versions that are big middle fingers to longtime fans.
He also co-created Fringe (X-Files rip-off) and wrote the script for The Island and got sued for ripping-off the plot of an old movie.
 
He also co-created Fringe (X-Files rip-off) and wrote the script for The Island and got sued for ripping-off the plot of an old movie.
Not just any movie, but a movie that had been featured on MST3k.

What makes it worst IMHO is that the old film is exactly what I think is a perfect film for a remake: A rich, neat idea, not quite adequately realized because of limitations of budget and/or the time.

On a film level, I unironically like the Island, but it does suck that in production they couldn't toss a bone to the old and had to be sued to do what's right.

Hmm... completely disrespecting the past while ripping it off and pretending it's your own work?

Damn! We should have seen this coming decades ago!
 
The Star Trek Experience was fucking amazing, it's a travesty that they tore it down. The Next Gen ride thing had the best fakeout ever, they herded everyone into a room that looked like your average amusement park ride lobby, lines on the floor, TVs showing safety rules about seatbelts and shit, then the lights went out, there was a flash and a blast of air, and when the lights came back up I was standing in a 1701-D transporter room, no lines on the floor, no TVs. And I had no fucking clue how they pulled it off. It was quite possibly the most amazed I've ever been in my life. So I paid extra to get to do the whole photo on the bridge set thing, and because it was a slow day the photographer guy let me take my time exploring the set.

Some googling will pretty easily come up with behind the scenes info on how the Experience trick worked, for anyone interested. Ordinarily I would avoid spoiling that, since the surprise of it is what really made the thing so fantastic, but since the ride's been gone like ten years now, no point in keeping a secret. F.

Super late on this, but back in 2002 we had a similar experience in London's Hyde Park called Star Trek The Adventure. Had Quarks Bar, Borg Invasion simulator ride, NX-01 sets and the 1701-D thing being a transition in a turbolift, we lagged behind in the tour group and managed to get a few sneaky photos sitting in the captains chair. Also managed to win a DS9 Companion book signed by Jeffrey Combs.
 
The first scenes you see of Klingons in STD is about how much they don't want to be assimilated into the Federation...

It's hard to blame them. Would you want to be soyified by the current version of the Federation? I'd rather be assimilated by the actual fucking Borg. At least you'd get cool augments.
 
It's hard to blame them. Would you want to be soyified by the current version of the Federation? I'd rather be assimilated by the actual fucking Borg. At least you'd get cool augments.
I don't know what "current version" of the Federation it is. I always thought the Federation was more like a galactic Soviet Union, and I thought that way when I was a kid, when the actual USSR was still around. I thought of Kirk and co going round the galaxy trying to get more planets to join the Fed not as a USA in SPACE! but as the USSR in SPACE!
 
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