Star Trek - Space: The Final Frontier

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Just gonna predict right now the plot outline of this upcoming shitfest. I have previously made predictions based on fragmentary info given by trailers/cast statements with nu-trek, however my predictions always fell short since I had an unfortunate habit of expecting far too much basic storytelling competence from the kurtzman brain trust and some basic awareness of continuity a five minute browse through memory-alpha would imbue upon them. I will make no such mistake this time, although once again I suspect my prediction will be blown out the water by the sheer shameless hackfraud smugfuck incompetence on display.

So when this shitshow comes out circa next currentyear, refer back to this post and point out how I was once again wrong and also a nigger.

JUDGE HOLDEN'S OFFICIAL PREDICTIONS FOR THIS NEW CRINGECANCER

1. The setup will be the evil post-brexit post-drumpf federation is now abruptly stunningly bravely woke and good thanks to the "heroes" last season in what the director/writer will explicitly tie in to biden winning in 2020: This shit seems pretty evident already given the shots of senile picard prepping to give senile speeches at some federation function​
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2. Some evil conspirators within the federation evilly hate this new perfect world and so engineer the change in history to make drumpf win 2020 to make the federation an evil fascist dictatorship: again im probably expecting too much to assume this will be a direct reference to star trek 6 but it seems pretty inevitable given the storyline I suspect they are gonna go with​
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3. Evil alternate timeline federation will be every media snarl word and hysteria narrative bout the alt right, drumpf and such combined and will be openly something-phobic: the shots of six of nine show her with a wedding ring and with a dresser full of what looks to be lipstick and makeup paraphanalia and with her borg implants removed which my gut tells me is going to have her be in some state enforced heterosexual relationship in which she has to look perfect instead of being a stunning and brave grimy lesbian with her one true love the elderly black crack addict lady she met for five minutes.....yes I know this sounds like the absolute most stupid fucking thing ever but look at what we are dealing with here...​
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4. The klingons will be an explicit evil-russia analogy and them uniting with the federation will be a blatant russiagate reference: i would also somewhat predict the show will directly reference whatever bullshit fucking drumpf plotline was going on with the klingons in the first season of discovery.​
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5. The universe itself is in danger of being destroyed because of some embarrassing attempt at an environmental metaphor caused by the evil alternate federation: This shit is so cliche and trite and overdone to the point it was generic decades ago that it would be a perfect fit for this story.​
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6. Atleast some of the main villains will be obvious stand-ins for the evil bigoted trek fans who could not tolerate the superior new direction of the franchise and will be killed off in the most humiliatingly painful way possible: Given how loudly chimping out on twitter about the nazi nurd biguts who have the absolute disgusting depravity to ask for shit better than Riverdale in space has been at the very least approved and odds are openly encouraged among cast and crew of nu-trek for years now, it would make perfect sense for them to indulge in such embarrassing bullshit to "own" da haterz​

Now with these predictions I carefully considered the following three factors I believe will make them come atleast somewhat true given what we have seen in discovery and picard and nu-trek in general

a) what is the biggest insult to the show's continuity, its progressive history, and gene roddenderry's vision in particular?​
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b) what would be something the director/writer/senile patrick stewart would think will get them the maximum asspats from blue checkmarks on twitter and other media goons?​
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c) what would be the most generic, dumbed down slop TV possible that could be spun to the network as "easily accessible" and thus worth another season?​
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I believe my predictions fit all these criteria that we have seen in effect in both discovery and picard, and it also fits the pattern we have seen in currentyear franchise cancer in general which is those in charge actively and aggressively doubling down the bullshit that everyone hates solely to get asspats from media and social media, even if it kills the franchise in the medium/longterm

Now you may think the predictions I outlined are so fucking stupid....so fucking embarrassingly stupid....that they cannot possibly be anywhere near the truth. To that I simply will reply with a singular example of the picard writing we have thus seen.

Believe me. There is absolutely zero depths of cringe and hackfraud fuckery these fucking people will not stoop to
 
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JamesFargo said:
Islamic terrorists. It's always Islamic terrorists. It's really one of the few things Kurtzman knows how to write.
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Nope. I utterly disagree. Kurtzman's generic mid-late 2000s trash writing style has been entirely drowned out by smugfuck Wendig/Scalzi tier goons in the writing team whose entire schtick is to slavishly push whatever bullshit is fashionable in mainstream woke media land, and islamic terrorists have not been that for a longass time.

If anything resembling kebab-kabooms appears it will be a heroic woke and diverse romulan resistance against the klingon-federation regime with those cringy fucking romulan nuns from the previous season now space mujahadeen
 
Travoltron said:
Franklin was wrong and yet she was also right.
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Wonder what TV shows Garrett Wang has appeared in recently:

Screenshot_2021-06-16-23-14-56-766_com.android.chrome~3_copy_540x123.jpg


(:_(
 
XYZpdq said:
I don't think there's many other guys that could make me think Hamill might have been the lesser choice.
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As much as I love Hamill's Joker I really wish we could get the 4 episodes Tim Curry had recorded lines for recut and released just to see what may have been. As it stands the only thing we have is Tim voicing the laugh for a giant popup clown.
 
XYZpdq said:
are the lines floating around at least?
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Unfortunately it's never been released, but the lines were more or less the original script.
Times like this I wish I was absurdly rich because I would pay WB, DC, and Tim Curry to release that shit.

Kinda sad we never got to see Tim Curry take a guest role on Trek. He would have made a wonderful addition to the Q collective.
 
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Exceptionally Exceptional said:
Unfortunately it's never been released, but the lines ere more or less the original script.
Times like this I wish I was absurdly rich because I would pay WB, DC, and Tim Curry to release that shit.

Kinda sad we never got to see Tim Curry take a guest role on Trek. He would have made a wonderful addition to the Q collective.
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yeah I'd assume it's the same dialog, but yeah his take on it would probably be cool
now that you mention it, yeah it's kinda surprising he didn't do a guest shot on trek, considering that sitcom about the hotel he did I can easily see him as reoccurring guest alien in DS9 through Enterprise
 
Judge Holden said:
EDIT 2: oh for fuck sake what the buck breaking fuck have they done to Q? Why is he dressed like a shitty cosplay of the villain from Half Life 2?
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I was under the impression this was an exaggeration but I eventually watched the trailer and... yeah he's dressed almost exactly like Dr. Breen. Is that supposed to be some kind of in-joke because Trek has a race named the Breen?

...

It is, isn't it? I'll bet money right now some writer will admit to it on Twitter that they did this intentionally as an "homage".
 
I wonder if the plot will be an in-depth character study of Picard, to see if he is worthy of being elevated to become a Q.

Q will show Picard some disastrous event that happens in the near future. Armed with no information, Picard is told his test is to prevent it. Picard bumbles around going, "what is going to happen?" He remembers a few details and tells his house keepers. Who just happened to know information. He bumbles around some more, slowly gets the gang from S2 back together. Somehow Soji is the key.

There's an episode where he visits an old crew member from TNG. Some plots set up, which goes no where. The secret villains find out Picard is after them. Randomly attacks and tries to twart them. The, "what the hell is going to happen?" Is occasional broken with characters just knowing clues. A bunch of stuff is hinted at that goes no where.

It gets to the second last episode and finally someone just tells Picard the plot. In the future, a bunch of alien races decided humanity was ultimately a bad thing for the galaxy. They have decided to blow up the earth before Zephren Cockryn makes his first warp speed flight. Picards test is if he will allow humanity to be wiped out for the greater good of the galaxy.

Picard finds an alternative way. He is able to go back in time and wipe out all of Europe with a plague in the middle ages. Saving humanity and saving the galaxy. None of the Soji, Borg stuff really ends up going anywhere. It came in handy for a few pointless episodes where they went on side quests.

At the end of the series, Picard is elevated to the level of becoming a Q. With a twist. He doesn't have their powers and will live out the same mortal life he would have as a human.
 
Tookie said:
Senility and Brexit derangement.
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Meanwhile nobody trusts Labour not to rejoin the single market through back door legislation. Truly amazing how one issue can kill a political party.

Than again, in the grand scheme, Labour weren't electable for very long. Most countries are effectively governed by one conservative party which always wins 80% of the vote, mysteriously.
Clown College said:
DeLancie looks pretty good for his age, kind of cool that he's sporting the goatee.
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More men should be rocking Ra's al Ghul beards.

Screen-Shot-2020-07-08-at-10.jpg
 
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John DeLancie looks like he's still got it. I fear how the script is going to butcher his character.

And jfc, Patric Stewart sounds horrible. He's mumbling and slurring his lines, he genuinely sounds like he's stuck between a stroke and alzheimers, the poor sod.
 
"We can save the future, and I will get us home... together."

Oh for fuck's sake hamfisted globular warmenings/immigration/dystopian drumpfuniverse/senile 80 year old savior figure shit incoming

I bet 6 of 9 gets grabbed in the pussy by the evil timeline Federation/Klingon dictator who has crazy yellow straw hair and is literally orange like an oompah loompah
 
I don't understand why you would give a show to people that don't like the premise and intentionally want to ruin the things the original fans of the show liked. It's vindictive and parasitic. What did Star Trek and its fans do to these people?
 
Screamer said:
I wonder if the plot will be an in-depth character study of Picard, to see if he is worthy of being elevated to become a Q.

Q will show Picard some disastrous event that happens in the near future. Armed with no information, Picard is told his test is to prevent it. Picard bumbles around going, "what is going to happen?" He remembers a few details and tells his house keepers. Who just happened to know information. He bumbles around some more, slowly gets the gang from S2 back together. Somehow Soji is the key.

There's an episode where he visits an old crew member from TNG. Some plots set up, which goes no where. The secret villains find out Picard is after them. Randomly attacks and tries to twart them. The, "what the hell is going to happen?" Is occasional broken with characters just knowing clues. A bunch of stuff is hinted at that goes no where.

It gets to the second last episode and finally someone just tells Picard the plot. In the future, a bunch of alien races decided humanity was ultimately a bad thing for the galaxy. They have decided to blow up the earth before Zephren Cockryn makes his first warp speed flight. Picards test is if he will allow humanity to be wiped out for the greater good of the galaxy.

Picard finds an alternative way. He is able to go back in time and wipe out all of Europe with a plague in the middle ages. Saving humanity and saving the galaxy. None of the Soji, Borg stuff really ends up going anywhere. It came in handy for a few pointless episodes where they went on side quests.

At the end of the series, Picard is elevated to the level of becoming a Q. With a twist. He doesn't have their powers and will live out the same mortal life he would have as a human.
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Sounds unrealistic. Nobody's a lesbian.
 
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