Star Trek - Space: The Final Frontier

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botrix_fan said:
Don't forget Sliders
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Why in God's name did they recast the goddess Kari Wuhrer with that whoopee cushion Jenny McCarthy? (:_(

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PFM said:
But Pulaski had the capacity to be a cunt.. Crusher isn't interesting at all IMO, and she shit out Wesley.
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Another plus for Pulaski was she didn't tolerate any shit from Wesley.

XYZpdq Jr. said:
"Girl Bones" isn't much of a character, but Q had a point when he replaced Crusher with a dog and there wasn't really any functional difference.
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Well there is a legal difference as it will be seen as animal cruelty if Picard fucked the dog.
 
UnKillFill said:
Probably ships counciler. If TNG is anything to go by, you can be objectively terrible at your job, completely unqualified even compared to the ships bartender. Pretty much pull bad advice out of your ass, and still outrank most of the senior staff for some reason.
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If you can't take it here, then you might think about a transport ship. There's a lot less pressure there.
Curzon Dax-sama said:
>be Troi
>loose your powers
>immediately unravel and become a raving lunatic
Pottery.
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Don't go criticizing my counseling techniques.
 
UnKillFill said:
Are you saying this because she was a legitimately good councilor, or because you want to see just how far down those spots go?
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she was insecure about her place in life after getting an emergency parasite transplant and she worked it out in a very realistic way. also yes i want to know how far those spots go.,
 
Dumb mst3k fan said:
What did you actually want to be in Star Trek? I always wanted to be medical or science. It just seemed to be the most interesting. You would rarely be in command but you would have a better time of it
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Ship security. You get to travel to strange new worlds, meet new civilizations, go where no one has gone before, and your main jobs are going to be practicing hand to hand combat, phaser proficiency, and occasionally escorting a drunk or disobedient crewman to their quarters. Every now and then you'll have to deal with hostile boarding parties or hazardous away missions, but that's going to happen with any sort of job on a starship. The reports about having to shoot some invaders or defend some scientists should be shorter to write up than what a lot of other departments would have to deal with, to boot.
 
Dumb mst3k fan said:
What did you actually want to be in Star Trek? I always wanted to be medical or science. It just seemed to be the most interesting. You would rarely be in command but you would have a better time of it
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Either be a shooty kill kill man (I'm a sucker for small unit combat) or the equivalent of a tactical officer. I like planning.
 
Mr. Racewar1488 said:
>be me, transporter chief
>transporter gets fucked by some anomaly or giant crystalline entity or some other bullshit while transporting senior staff
>transporter buffer is fucked so i dump their patterns in the holodeck
>ensign weeb is the only one using the holodeck, their patterns get dumped in his program
>he's running a recreation of an ancient earth "anime" called "Help! All My Classmates Are Reincarnated Catgirls and I’m the Only Man!"
>the entire senior staff are now all his catgirl fuck toys
How fucked am I? Am I going to be reassigned to an Oberth?
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>be me
>Marine E-5, lead squad of Marines on detachment aboard USS Dan Quayle
>captain is a Betazoid with histrionic personality disorder and constantly wants approval from senior staff before doing anything
>we get mission to deliver an original Varani tivara to Bajor to promote youth music programs
>informed about this priceless instrument and its delivery at the last minute by CO and E-6, who themselves were informed last minute by frantic captain
>captain insists that the instrument was stolen by Cardassians during the occupation and they returned it as a gesture of good will, so this is an extremely important diplomatic mission
>there is zero security on instrument, it's just hanging out, literally zero help from Security or Intelligence, and no planning prepared by command
>when asked why nothing was done, captain says "just do it"
>we have to plan and execute security for and delivery of this thing all by ourselves at zero hour
>meanwhile captain is blabbing all about it on the net, doing impromptu interviews about the tivara and how amazing Varani is and blah blah blah
>we don't even do a threat assessment because it's such a high value item, just assume skilled criminals will try to steal it
>each squad carries a decoy while my squad has the real one
>each squad delivers from different routes to prevent theft of package
>Ashalla's city planners were all high on psychedelics when building it, I swear to God
>all squads arrive on time, I give package to CO who presents it to Bajoran dignitaries
>captain isn't even there
>Bajorans all clapping backwards like retards
>Bajoran accepting the tivara is Varani's sister or some shit, explains this is great for kids, will help war orphans or some shit, and some kid comes on stage and plays the tivara
>kid sucks, drops it, it breaks
>all of us ready to shit ourselves
>Bajoran laughs, says it's one of many instruments provided to the program by Cardassia
>wut.png
>turns out it wasn't an old tivara, the program is just sponsored by Varani's sister, the instrument was replicated and worthless
>at mission debrief, captain and entire senior staff awkwardly dismiss all questions and deny up and down that it was a Varani original tivara, nope, they never said that, all those interviews the captain did never happened hahahaha, a job well done
I didn't sign up for this.
 
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Now that 4chan is dead we need to create our own Star Trek greentexts. Hopefully that tranny from the DS9 documentary doesn't come to the farms and shit up this thread like he did to the Star Trek generals in /tv/.
 
Mr. Racewar1488 said:
Now that 4chan is dead we need to create our own Star Trek greentexts. Hopefully that tranny from the DS9 documentary doesn't come to the farms and shit up this thread like he did to the Star Trek generals in /tv/.
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I stopped posting in the Trek general on /tv/ because of "her" and the other people who keep believing that Kurtzman Trek is good.
 
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>be me
>still E-5, platoon detachment given shore duty
>assigned to Fort Worf, first Federation base on Qo'noS
>mostly used for diplomatic functions, Federation-Klingon military coordination, and joint training exercises
>platoon assigned to security detail, Starfleet Security wants Marines to "cross-train"
>Klingons refuse to follow Federation security protocol, break our shit when they get angry, and always declare it's dishonorable to be searched because they're Shitface, Son of P'tak or Cuntsniffer, Daughter of Targ-Fucker
>they NEVER SHUT THE FUCK UP
>always angry when we have to give a patdown
>Klingons have a ritual for everything... except bathing
>have to parse through sweaty, unwashed Klingon crotches and assholes on the daily to search for weapons or explosives
>Klingons occasionally bring their targ that shits everywhere and chews on everything
>have you ever smelled targ shit??? it's fucking FOUL, worst smell ever, I still get phantom odors to this day
>Starfleet wants Marines on QM duty for "cross-training"
>I get voluntold by CO, have to do QM shit for the rest of the assignment, constantly writing requisitions, barely get any sleep
>base commander is some dumb bitch obsessed with everything Klingon, married to a prominent Klingon
>constant base security issue with food smuggling because the replicators only make Klingon food, at base commander's orders, that no one wants to eat
>never ate so many combat rations in my life
>need daily fiber supplements from base doctor
>every training exercise we do with the Klingons, they zerg and lose, but not before beating the shit out of someone when they get close enough
>base commander says its dey kulcha
>Klingon commander is always pissed that a bunch of enlisted are defeating his most experienced officers
>"HOW COULD THESE BEKKS DEFEAT MY MOST SKILLED WARRIORS?!"
>base commander constantly changes our rules of engagement to try and help Klingons win
>E-6 is veteran of Dominion Wars, works around retarded ROEs, we win even when we only get Type-2 phasers because Klingons have never fucking heard of small unit tactics
>how the fuck did these animals become an interstellar empire?
>eventually base commander orders us to "cross-train" with bat'leths during an exercise
>we lose
>everyone suffers some sort of broken bone and/or severe laceration
>12 people with concussions
>E-6 is last man standing and is put in critical care
>I needed 2 blood transfusions
>base commander orders a celebration for the Klingon who proceed to get blackout drunk and trash the base
>guess who gets to clean up and write more requisitions?
I hate Klingons
 
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