Star Trek - Space: The Final Frontier

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
SteelPlatedHeart said:
Those of you with weak stomachs may want to look away.

Click to expand...
How could you do a Star Trek/SpongeBob crossover sketch and not have them encounter humpback whales?
Hey Johnny Bravo said:
I will be eviscerated for this, but I actually smirked at the "imagination" line.
Click to expand...
Ethan Peck is a master at line delivery. In general, the fact that the Strange New Worlds cast is acting like this is another day on set is impressive. Reminds me of Michael Caine in The Muppet Christmas Carol.
 
Hey Johnny Bravo said:
Star Trek is salvageable, but it requires a retcon. What I would do is say that the star-destroying weapon in Nemesis created a fork in the timeline due to how it affected chronitoneutrinobullshittium in the galaxy, so all the nu-Trek is still heckin' valid, but its own separate thing. That also maintains the Kelvin timeline. Problem solved.
Click to expand...

Nemesis was Tom hardy as clone picard making a bio-weapon that turns people to stone.
Hiren_consumed_by_thalaron_radiation.webp

J.J Trek in Star Trek 09 had the Romulus sun go supernova in a post Nemesis time (no super weapon cause). The red matter was supposed to make a black hole to suck up the supernova, but sent spock and angry romulan back in time instead.
 
Miller said:
Stephen Hillenburg is probably spinning in his grave.
Click to expand...
Ultraman Orb Dark said:
How could you do a Star Trek/SpongeBob crossover sketch and not have them encounter humpback whales
Click to expand...
I think that's what bugs me more
I don't really give a fuck about Spongebob, I was too old and not high enough yet for it when it was new.
But there could have been something with some real heart of the Whale Ayys come back and something something Spongebob
 
XYZpdq Jr. said:
But there could have been something with some real heart of the Whale Ayys come back and something something Spongebob
Click to expand...
One character in the show is a teenage whale named Pearl. Just show her talking on the phone with the probe or the whales from The Voyage Home. The joke writes itself.
 
indomitable snowman said:
J.J Trek in Star Trek 09 had the Romulus sun go supernova in a post Nemesis time (no super weapon cause). The red matter was supposed to make a black hole to suck up the supernova, but sent spock and angry romulan back in time instead.
Click to expand...
Ah, you're right. They incorporated it into Picard. Either way, I would undo the stuff about the Federation and Romulans becoming friends and use the Romulans as the main adversary.
 
Ultraman Orb Dark said:
One character in the show is a teenage whale named Pearl. Just show her talking on the phone with the probe or the whales from The Voyage Home. The joke writes itself.
Click to expand...
yeah, that's easy, "blahblahblah oh hold on lemme put you on hold, okay yeah you're on speaker" "MWWOOOOOOAAMMMM" "OMG NO WAY"
 
Hey Johnny Bravo said:
Star Trek is salvageable, but it requires a retcon. What I would do is say that the star-destroying weapon in Nemesis created a fork in the timeline due to how it affected chronitoneutrinobullshittium in the galaxy, so all the nu-Trek is still heckin' valid, but its own separate thing. That also maintains the Kelvin timeline. Problem solved.
Click to expand...
Okay, here's my idea: we open with a montage of nu-Trek clips. Maybe even throw in the worst of ENT. Then suddenly! it dissolves away, revealing a holodeck.

MR. DATA: Ah, this simulation I programmed to generate the dumbest and gayest nonsense scenarios imaginable is working perfectly.

ENSIGN RETARDO (Pakled exchange officer - Ed.): But sir, doesn't multiverse theory suggest that all of those events could have happened in some parallel reality?

MR. DATA: I'm afraid not, ensign. You see, that program only simulates ridiculous, stupid, utterly impossible events that could NEVER happen, in any alternate universe. With all due respect, only a COMPLETE MORON could possibly think that ANYTHING in that simulation could EVER be real. It is entirely stupid bullshit which should be completely disregarded. Furthermore, any person who found any part of it entertaining should probably commit suicide.
 
Calandrino said:
Okay, here's my idea: we open with a montage of nu-Trek clips. Maybe even throw in the worst of ENT. Then suddenly! it dissolves away, revealing a holodeck.

MR. DATA: Ah, this simulation I programmed to generate the dumbest and gayest nonsense scenarios imaginable is working perfectly.

ENSIGN RETARDO (Pakled exchange officer - Ed.): But sir, doesn't multiverse theory suggest that all of those events could have happened in some parallel reality?

MR. DATA: I'm afraid not, ensign. You see, that program only simulates ridiculous, stupid, utterly impossible events that could NEVER happen, in any alternate universe. With all due respect, only a COMPLETE MORON could possibly think that ANYTHING in that simulation could EVER be real. It is entirely stupid bullshit which should be completely disregarded. Furthermore, any person who found any part of it entertaining should probably commit suicide.
Click to expand...
Ensign Retardo is too smart-sounding. I get he's smart enough to graduate from the Academy, but being a Pakled Genius only makes him average to everyone else.

"This is not in this reality? I do not understand."
 
Drag-on Knight 91873 said:
Ensign Retardo is too smart-sounding. I get he's smart enough to graduate from the Academy, but being a Pakled Genius only makes him average to everyone else.

"This is not in this reality? I do not understand."
Click to expand...

He's a superintelligent mutant Pakled, that's his character hook. He can share folksy Pakled wisdom for comic relief like, "My mother always said 'Targ dung has bad taste, do not eat.' It has guided me through many tricky situations in my time aboard starships."
 
Sayer of the N-Word said:
He's a superintelligent Pakled
Click to expand...
1000040212.webp

Hey Johnny Bravo said:
Ah, you're right. They incorporated it into Picard. Either way, I would undo the stuff about the Federation and Romulans becoming friends and use the Romulans as the main adversary.
Click to expand...
What's the point? It mocks Spock’s hard-won diplomacy, not to mention all the blood spilled on Deep Space Nine.
 
Sayer of the N-Word said:
He's a superintelligent mutant Pakled, that's his character hook. He can share folksy Pakled wisdom for comic relief like, "My mother always said 'Targ dung has bad taste, do not eat.' It has guided me through many tricky situations in my time aboard starships."
Click to expand...
>be me
>still E-6 on Calder II
>USS Ted Kennedy comes to port for standard repairs
>weird ass Pakled ensign enters chow hall
>it's Taco Tuesday
>we're getting real food, not replicated
>everyone's lined up
>Ensign Retardo is behind me
>people talking about what they want with the tacos
>Ensign Retardo tries to behave like normal person with Marines
>"My mother always said targ dung had bad taste, do not eat."
>Ensign Retardo smiles like he's waiting for the laugh track to start
>I get phantom odor of targ shit from my assignment on Qo'noS
>LCPL from my platoon sees me get phantom odor of targ shit from my assignment on Qo'noS
>appetite neutralized
>I gag a little and leave chow hall to go dry heave in the bathroom
>later, 2LT Love Slave asks why I'm not gorging myself on tacos
>explain encounter with Ensign Retardo
>2LT Love Slave has no face
>"In that case, Staff Sergeant, you can help me with next month's training schedules."
Pakleds can eat a bag of dicks
Captain Syrup said:
What's the point? It mocks Spock’s hard-won diplomacy, not to mention all the blood spilled on Deep Space Nine.
Click to expand...
Mainly because the Romulans are the only major threat to the Federation post-Dominion War. It sets up a fun cold war scenario. Also, sometimes hard-won diplomacy and spilled blood leads to competition anyway - see the actual Cold War between the US and USSR after they worked together during WWII.
 
there's probably a Pakled somewhere in the books, like how Starfleet Corps of Engineers has a bug from that TAS episode, a bynar, and a guy from the mobster planet
or those DC comics from between Wrath Of Khan and Search For Spock, when there's a horta on the bridge crew (his mom is friends with the captain)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom