Star Trek - Space: The Final Frontier

[Miller]

You just know that the writer was patting himself on the back for that one. They had absolutely zero idea what Klingons were like apart from the ‘warrior race’ trope so they thought they were so clever in choosing birdwatching of all things.

Doesn’t matter to them that they had years worth of shows/movies/multimedia that showed how varied Klingon culture really was. Hell, their biggest cultural export in the show is opera of all things!

Not just that but they had to make him an effeminate Klingon. There's absolutely no subtlety allowed in Kurtzman Trek.

 

[Captain Syrup]

You just know that the writer was patting himself on the back for that one. They had absolutely zero idea what Klingons were like apart from the ‘warrior race’ trope so they thought they were so clever in choosing birdwatching of all things.

Some intern tried to explain that people liked Worf because he was a hyper-serious Klingon who likes prune juice and builds ships in bottles, and that got fed through the Kurtzman's liquified brain and emerged unrecognizable.

 

[WonderWino]

Why does everyone act like a retard? The teenagers act like retarded toddlers, the adults act like retarded teenagers. I think I figured out the plot twist. This isn't actually Starfleet Academy, it's a tard school for developmentally disabled spergs where they allow them to pretend to be Starfleet cadets and officers. It's like that little town for old dementia patients where the whole town looks like the 1950s and the loopy retarded patients think they're living their glory days.

Isn't it obvious? This doesn't take place at starfleet academy, but 'starfleet academy'- that is to say the low key campus for the retarded kids who always wanted to join starfleet but were too stupid cause of various mental issues to do so. So their parents just ship them off to that campus instead and its alot like one of those fantasy sports camps where you pay money to go play baseball or whatever with professional players for a week. Except nobody tells them it isn't the real starfleet academy, and after a few years of klingon finger painting, horta basket weaving and appreciation of romulan transexual art classes they 'graduate' and get shipped off to their first fleet assignment for their training cruise aboard the USS shortbus. a shitty old barely functional miranda class ship with plenty of wall and floor padding and replicators pre-programmed for autistic and special sensory issues food and crewed by real academy washouts from important families who would have caused problems if they found out their kids flunked out of the academy, so they also 'graduate' to 'special fleet assignments'

Behold the USS shortbus - its five year mission, to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new lifeforms and new civilizations..... and then womansplain them about inclusion, the importance of DEI initiatives and pronouns. To boldly go the fuck as far away from the actual fleet as possible so they won't embarrass the normal graduates

Marritza....What the fuck was he even doing? “I was Darheel’s male secretary so I got plastic surgery to look like Darheel but I still tell everyone I’m Marritza to confuse them!" Why all the layers of deception? I guess at that point Marritza had totally lost it.

His plan never made any actual sense. After all, even if it had gone the way he intended it to with everybody thinking he actually was darheel, the moment the trial started the cardassians would have a wtf moment, knowing full well the real guy is dead and would absolutely have pointed that out, leading to an investigation and the whole thing would be outed anyway. Its not like the cardassians didn't have a ton of witnesses to his funeral and a body. At best if it got to the point of prosecution everybody involved in the trial would come off looking like idiots, lunatics or like the bajorans set the whole thing up themselves to railroad the guy into taking the blame and it would end with a massive international incident between the cardassians, bajorans and the feds for allowing it to get that far

What he was trying to do was never going to work the way he intended it to and anybody with an ounce of common sense would have known that right from the start. Hell it could have started another war

 

[Captain Syrup]

His plan never made any actual sense. After all, even if it had gone the way he intended it to with everybody thinking he actually was darheel, the moment the trial started the cardassians would have a wtf moment, knowing full well the real guy is dead and would absolutely have pointed that out, leading to an investigation and the whole thing would be outed anyway

I agree with you. By the way, "I’m not the Kommadant, I just psychologically became him because I was working HR at Auschwitz" is also the plot of Picard S3.



By that point Trek had a whole catalogue of “war criminal hiding as a space florist” plots, they try to swerve the audience by making the guy a fantasist, which is clever on paper, but only if you assume Marritza's mind is totally gone.

Should they have had him kill Darhe’el and just steal his identity? He needed Dar'heel to confess while in custody. If it were the real Darhe’el he’d just be like, “Yeah, whatever, fuck you,”

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

Behold the USS shortbus - its five year mission, to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new lifeforms and new civilizations..... and then womansplain them about inclusion, the importance of DEI initiatives and pronouns. To boldly go the fuck as far away from the actual fleet as possible so they won't embarrass the normal graduates

so basically Ark Fleet Ship B

 

[teriyakiburns]

What he was trying to do was never going to work the way he intended it to and anybody with an ounce of common sense would have known that right from the start.

Wracked by PTSD and riddled with guilt = not necessarily firing on all thrusters. The entire point of the episode is that what he was doing was a bad idea.

 

[Super Hot Dog]

I miss Star Trek. The real Star Trek, where a group of hyper competent and generally well meaning people explored the frontiers of space with morality lessons sprinkled in. I don't know what the fuck these ugly people are doing larping in Star Trek uniforms but nothing from the past decade plus has looked or felt anything remotely like Star Trek. Every time I see or hear about Nu Trek it's always about them destroying canon shit, shitting on the old characters to make way for their "better" characters or just writing gay marvel shit for drunk millennial women on an ego trip. No nuance, subtlety or character in any of this at all, it's just sad.

Would you want to explore space with any of these retards? Would you want to work for a Captain curled up in her chair like a drunken unprofessional asshole all of the time? Star Trek went from aspiration for the best of humanity to celebrating the worst members of it.

I know no one asked, but my favorite movies are TMP and 6, with 2-4 being pretty damn good as well. Kirk is the best, and refit Enterprise is the best ship bar none. The sleek lighting and paint it had in TMP made it such a gorgeous piece of art. TNG is good too, but the movies leave a lot to be desired. First Contact is a good popcorn flick, I guess.

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

First Contact is a good popcorn flick, I guess.

tbh I find First Contact really where a lot of the problems started to creep in
the borg just become zombie vampires, there's quipping about blowing shit up, there's sassy black woman
until then there was a tone of "fuck you Hollywood, we're making Star Trek, get on our level" whether for good or ill, then from First Contact onward it felt like Hollywood was letting Star Trek play at movies.

 

[Captain Syrup]

tbh I find First Contact really where a lot of the problems started to creep in
the borg just become zombie vampires, there's quipping about blowing shit up, there's sassy black woman
until then there was a tone of "fuck you Hollywood, we're making Star Trek, get on our level" whether for good or ill, then from First Contact onward it felt like Hollywood was letting Star Trek play at movies.

TMP is just a really long episode. They didn't try to be Star Wars.

The problem is, you're paying movie ticket prices for a TV structure.



Unfortunately, Paramount learned the wrong lessons from FC and decided that every movie and series thereafter (VOY and ENT absolutely included) had to be about annihilating Earth/the Federation/the universe because... I don't know why. At least the Borg or the Changelings believed they were imposing order on chaos.

 

[Super Hot Dog]

tbh I find First Contact really where a lot of the problems started to creep in
the borg just become zombie vampires, there's quipping about blowing shit up, there's sassy black woman
until then there was a tone of "fuck you Hollywood, we're making Star Trek, get on our level" whether for good or ill, then from First Contact onward it felt like Hollywood was letting Star Trek play at movies.

The TNG movies never really found their footing compared to the TOS ones, which is a shame because Generations had a ton of potential to be a really great movie if handled appropriately.

TMP is just a really long episode. They didn't try to be Star Wars.

The problem is, you're paying movie ticket prices for a TV structure.

Unfortunately, Paramount learned the wrong lessons from FC and decided that every movie and series thereafter (VOY and ENT absolutely included) had to be about annihilating Earth/the Federation/the universe because... I don't know why. At least the Borg or the Changelings believed they were imposing order on chaos.

TMP tried to be too much all at once (movie, phase II pilot episode, 2001 clone, Star Wars competitor without being Star Wars) and definitely had art house snobbery at times, but it does feel the most like "Star Trek" of any of the movies IMO (even though the script with Nomad had been done before), It hit the core Trek theme of exploration and new life better than any of it's sequels. No way a movie would ever be made like that ever again. 6 is my other favorite simply because it sticks the landing so well and leaves TOS on a great high note. If only TNG had followed suit.

And I agree, every plot now has to be a bottom of the barrel video game story where the bad guys want to blow up the universe or something lazy and stupid, though Wrath of Khan had that but Nic Meyer bothered to add theming by making it a terraforming weapon instead of doomsday bomb or something. The Kelvin movies were just more of the same bombastic garbage and In to Darkness was probably one of the most cringe inducing theater experiences I've ever had. Just an awful, lazy, stupid rehash of a movie.

I've decided to start watching TOS from the beginning, run through the movies and TNG after. I've never watched DS9 but with all of the discussion I figure it is probably worth a watch at this point, nothing else is on that even remotely interests me. I don't really care about Voyager and Enterprise but who knows, maybe I'll get around to those as well.

 

[Captain Syrup]

The TNG movies never really found their footing compared to the TOS ones, which is a shame because Generations had a ton of potential

The stubborn insistence on rewinding all the character work just so Kirk and Picard can share a synchronized midlife crisis.

Maybe the dumbest role Malcolm McDowell ever took, which is really saying something because the ’90s were an all-you-can-eat buffet of McDowell shite.

The rest of the crew basically did not need to be there. Data sort of gets an arc, in the sense that his inability to understand humor finally starts to annoy everyone enough that he installs the emotion chip out of desperation. But it goes nowhere, his emotions mostly just malfunction, and at the end he cries because his cat survives the shipwreck, which I guess is resolution?

Geordi gets kidnapped for reasons that remain mysterious to me to this day. Beverly and Worf get tossed into the drink during the Hornblower scene and that’s their contribution.

They at least had more to do in First Contact, but after that it’s back to the same formula. Insurrection opens with Data going schizo, then he takes a vacation from the movie. Picard has a midlife crisis (again!!) and is forced to play opposite Donna Murphy despite their lack of chemistry.

Nemesis was franchise suicide, I guess they took one look at Attack of the Clones and decided they needed a clone in there somewhere.

 

[Rabo 2: Electric Boogaloo]

I think about it now, and Star Trek First Contact is what got me into Star Trek. An high school friend of mine really loved the movie and we watched it this one time. I was vaguely familiar with Star Trek but it was a boring dad show to me. Later on I rented Generations with my dad and I think sometime after that I actually started watching the show on TV when I'd catch it.

It's funny because now I do agree that First Contact is a pretty bad Star Trek movie and the beginning of everything wrong with Nu Trek.

 

[Dragged Into Sunlight]

Lol of course Voyager had to get in a death penalty episode before it ended.

"Mass murderer didn't do nuffins. He had a medical condition that made him a psychopath."

And all of it delivered to us by Picardo in his most condescending voice.

 

[Super Hot Dog]

The stubborn insistence on rewinding all the character work just so Kirk and Picard can share a synchronized midlife crisis.

Maybe the dumbest role Malcolm McDowell ever took, which is really saying something because the ’90s were an all-you-can-eat buffet of McDowell shite.

The rest of the crew basically did not need to be there. Data sort of gets an arc, in the sense that his inability to understand humor finally starts to annoy everyone enough that he installs the emotion chip out of desperation. But it goes nowhere, his emotions mostly just malfunction, and at the end he cries because his cat survives the shipwreck, which I guess is resolution?

Geordi gets kidnapped for reasons that remain mysterious to me to this day. Beverly and Worf get tossed into the drink during the Hornblower scene and that’s their contribution.

They at least had more to do in First Contact, but after that it’s back to the same formula.
Insurrection opens with Data going schizo, then he takes a vacation from the movie. Picard has a midlife crisis (again!!) and is forced to play opposite Donna Murphy despite the fact that their lack of chemistry.

Nemesis was franchise suicide, I guess they took one look at Attack of the Clones and decided they needed a clone in there somewhere.

If I remember right there was a good book or notes on why Generations was such a slapdash shitshow to produce and why it turned out as poorly as it did due to the TV show wrapping up and all of the other Star Trek projects going on at the same time. Mismatched costumes and reshoots due to killing the most iconic character in the franchise so poorly the audience veto'd it and made them do it over, and it still sucked. Have Kirk be a big damn hero one more time without shitting on the competence of the TNG crew, how is that too much to ask? Nothing panned out on what should have been an easy success.

You are absolutely right about everyone regressing in the TNG movies while TOS movies propelled the characters forward into different stages of their lives and explored their growth outside of a serialized setting. Even ST5 had great character moments though it was a bad movie overall.

Insurrection was best described by some other critics as a scrapped two parter with hollywood trappings on top. If you cut the romance and the action setpiece at the end and stuck it somewhere in TNG it might have worked out better, though it was still a weak story. Nemesis was trash and shouldn't have been made. Imagine if they had bothered with a big, well written swan song for the TNG crew that actually stuck like ST6, maybe people would have liked the movies more.

 

[Miller]

The weird thing about ST: Generations is how quick they get rid of the TOS crew so that the TNG one can have the rest of the movie.

 

[Captain Syrup]

Lol of course Voyager had to get in a death penalty episode before it ended.

"Mass murderer didn't do nuffins. He had a medical condition that made him a psychopath."

And all of it delivered to us by Picardo in his most condescending voice.

Sadly this exact plot was already done in "Passing Through Gethsemane ” on B5.



On a logistical level: it’s pretty contrived that VOY is transporting dipshit convicts in the first place, let alone Tuvok managing to lose them so they can run around holding people hostage.



....okay, that one got me. He's acting like he’s in Dog Day Afternoon, threatening what is essentially a very expensive screensaver.

 

[Tasty Tatty]

Would you want to explore space with any of these retards?

If I were to explore space with these retards, me, the 21th Century woman, would end up carrying their weight because these people are weak and useless.

Like, imagine The Neutral Zone episode, but the people who wake up are the ones trying to comfort the crew because they're stressed at the idea of meeting the Romulans.

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

Maybe the dumbest role Malcolm McDowell ever took, which is really saying something because the ’90s were an all-you-can-eat buffet of McDowell shite.

I will NOT stand idly by as someone speaks ill of Tank Girl. I challenge you to one round of Anbo-jyutsu, the ultimate evolution of martial arts, to settle this insult.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Geordi gets kidnapped for reasons that remain mysterious to me to this day.

They put a camera in his visor so they could find out the Enterprise's shield frequency. It was explained right in the middle, a "hilarious" comedy moment of Lursa and B'etor watching Geordi ggo about his day after he was rescued. I can understand why you missed it.



Basically my reaction to the whole movie.

 

[Captain Syrup]

I will NOT stand idly by as someone speaks ill of Tank Girl.

The worst and most expensive episode of Buffy ever made?