Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

I'm thinking of making some kind of comprehensive essay to analyze why the Disney era feels inauthentic compared to pre-2012 Star Wars. But that would require me to consume hours and hours of slop so it's a tough call.
That kind of thing's tedious, definitely, but they're kinda rewarding to post when you're done.
 
I would rather watch this scene continuously for twenty four hours than watch any of the Disney SW slop.


High school level romance at least had more heart and soul than Rey’s shitting acting.
 
The funny thing about the sequel trilogy is that you can have a female character as a lead and not make her a boring ass mary sue. That's what's so crazy to me. You can write a female protagonist in Star Wars and actually make her compelling. But they haven't done that in any way. Rey is literally the worst.

Kathleen's fetish for brunette british women with wack teeth is incredibly stupid. I'm surprised nobody actually called her ass out on it. You got Dollar Store Kiera Knightley, Lisppy McGee, and Mother of Dragons but in space and evil with a blaster.

Blondes and redheads would help-oh wait Mara Jade doesn't exist anymore. Fuck.
 
Sound cool and all, but they shouldn't be crossing path with each others. To me, it makes no sense because Malicos killed Viscus and Maul wouldn't let that slide and would've killed him already.
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Man, I really miss those days when Maul said hardly anything and just reveal his character through actions instead of words.

He had such aurora in TPM that Filoni had to fuck up.

On a side note, I love how Maul only used half of his double bladed lightsaber when he dueled Qui Gon.
 
Real fans always knew it was Lucas film without Lucas around that were more responsible for the horrible decisions made to this point than Disney.
 
I would rather watch this scene continuously for twenty four hours than watch any of the Disney SW slop.


High school level romance at least had more heart and soul than Rey’s shitting acting.
Part of that stiff and stilted writing is because Padme and Anakin are both emotionally stunted people. She traded her teen years for politics. He traded his for the Jedi. Neither of them know what to say to the opposite sex. Think back to when you were 13 and the kind of stuff you would say to a girl to sound cool and just how bad it sounds to you today. But the truly tragic part is they are both suck broken and lonely people that they really don't get just how toxic of a relationship they are in. She ends up in love with her stalker and when he confesses to her after killing the Tusken Raiders, she's like "I'm in love with a human time bomb" but he's also the first man to ever approach her as a woman. The flip side is he's obsessed with Padme, but she feeds into it with her whole "I love you too but we can't be in love because it's forbidden and shit but let's get married anyway" actions. Neither of them know what to do with all of this because they missed those formative years where teens work through those starter relationships and become adults.

There's a great part in the ROTS novelization where Padme realizes the wheels are coming off for Anakin. One way or another he won't be a Jedi much longer. Either he walks away from them to be with her or the Jedi find out he's married and they kick him out. But the result is the end for him and she also recognizes that somehow her days are numbered because of it. She doesn't get that Anakin will no longer be a Jedi because Darth Vader will be born or that she will die because of the whole Greek Tragedy of his deal with the Devil to gain power, ostensibly to save her, but will kill her in the process.

I still think Vader will essentially sap her life to save his own. Unconsciously maybe, but it's why he was able to live after his injuries until he could be rebuilt by Palpy and why she dies for no good reason. He just reaches into the Force and because of his own selfishness and anger at her for turning him down and kills her for his own ends and once he's truly Vader he can only hate himself and has no where left to turn but Palpy.
 
It can go with the ultimate version of the Sequel Trilogy:
I guess it wins by default since Auralnauts disbanded before finishing their trilogy. Man, that still bums me out.

I honestly wonder if there wasn't enough for them to work with in those movies to come up with something funny that still (somehow) managed to tie in to the rest of the series. I remember feeling that their TFA video wasn't quite up to snuff with the earlier ones, and it makes me think that was part of it. Like, we all know the many failings of Disney Wars, a big one being that they're pretty dull and uninspired. Without the charm of the OT or the autism of the PT to work with, I'd think it would be a challenge to actually make them funny. Hell, a good chunk of TLJ is just the slowest starship chase in history, what do you even do with that? To say nothing of the criminal lack of Creepio in the later movies.

Well, at least the first six episodes are still absolute kino.
 
To say nothing of the criminal lack of Creepio in the later movies.
The first scene with Creepio still makes me laugh out loud.

"What of our bargain? You promised me flesh!"

And how Fartoo's beeps get progressively more high tech. You go from the Atari basically static in TPM to Nintendo and Sega to PS3 by the end of ROTJ.

Those Auralnaut takes on the PT/OT were genius.
 
I guess it wins by default since Auralnauts disbanded before finishing their trilogy. Man, that still bums me out.

I honestly wonder if there wasn't enough for them to work with in those movies to come up with something funny that still (somehow) managed to tie in to the rest of the series. I remember feeling that their TFA video wasn't quite up to snuff with the earlier ones, and it makes me think that was part of it. Like, we all know the many failings of Disney Wars, a big one being that they're pretty dull and uninspired. Without the charm of the OT or the autism of the PT to work with, I'd think it would be a challenge to actually make them funny. Hell, a good chunk of TLJ is just the slowest starship chase in history, what do you even do with that? To say nothing of the criminal lack of Creepio in the later movies.

Well, at least the first six episodes are still absolute kino.
The first part of Banana Time was pure and absolute kino, but they left Space Burningman the quality did take a pretty hard slide.

My head cannon is still that they realized how many times they'd have to rewatch TLJ to try to create an alternative narrative from it, and just decided to end the channel instead of enduring that.
 
Snoke's throne room was apparently on Canto Bight (...which would explain his flashy gold robe) and it would have been revealed that Snoke was a construct/puppet (using some sort of ancient Sith technology) invented by the Star Wars universes' equivalent of defense contractors trying to start a new (star) war for profit.
You know what? There’s something with this. I guarantee my 2017 self would have regarded it as some SJW anti-capitalist screed, but one of the things that was never really addressed even in the EU was how to deal with the vast power of intergalactic corporations.

That corporate powers would start galactic war for profit is simplistic, but could be expanded upon to discuss the nature of war economy.
 
The article doesn't imply that at all. Maybe difficulties with JJ, since it sounds like Hammil felt he was sold a bill of goods, but it sounds like he started out against Ruin's destruction of the character and then like a good little cuck came right around on making the OT completely redundant and pointless.

KKK was trying to cram in her grrlpower, Disney was letting her because destroying the OT removed any ties to Lucas, and the only reason it didn't work is because KKK was a retarded incompetent null-creativity Wine Aunt with a tentacle fetish and mad at George.
On the topic of Kathleen Kenedy's grrlpower! - there's actually an interesting version of the Reddit TLJ theory on Lipstick Alley (think Kiwi Farms for black women), where a font claims Disney execs wrote out Finn's "Prince" backstory (he was supposed to be based on the EU's Prince Finn Galfridian???) & his black girlboss Queen sister. Finn was going to be a dumb playboy prince from an outer rim planet who idolized the Empire, who for some reason invited the First Order to his planet to meet his parents. Kylo Ren subsequently killed his parents when they refused to cooperate, than made his sister a puppet queen, and took Finn and brainwashed him to be a First Order stormtrooper to blackmail his sister to comply. They said a TLJ casting call for a character named Caro (which exists, and did call for a black female actress) was meant to be Finn's sister??? According to the LSA poster, Finn was going to end up in jail on Canto Bight in the end of TLJ (sounds like more ESB copying...) and his sister was going to bail him out. There was also supposed to be a plotline about his sister playing Hux and Ren's rivalry against each other/supposedly a Knight of Ren was in love with her and working against Kylo Ren?

The LSA font (who implied to know someone at Lucasfilm???) said Luke got killed off due to Disney executives being pissed about a scandal related to Hamill harassing his daughter in law to abort his grandson?

Probably bullshit, but food for thought - a black #girlboss queen does sound like something Kathleen Kennedy would have cooked up.

You know what? There’s something with this. I guarantee my 2017 self would have regarded it as some SJW anti-capitalist screed, but one of the things that was never really addressed even in the EU was how to deal with the vast power of intergalactic corporations.

That corporate powers would start galactic war for profit is simplistic, but could be expanded upon to discuss the nature of war economy.
A "war profiteering is bad!" message just seems like the heavy-handed anti-Iraq war allusion you'd expect from a bunch of hardcore liberals at Lucasfilm. Even if all these theories are total bullshit, it wouldn't shock me if more lines shitting on the space defense-contractors (like DJ's whole screed) were cut out of the sequel trilogy.
 
idk why people follow star wars at this point, or even worse get angry at how bad it's become. if it's so bad why not just stop watching it and be content with the good stuff? being angry 24/7 isn't fucking healthy.
or even better, make your own scifi universe whether it's a book/film/video game/some other medium, anything except getting mad at shit you can't control.
I'm thinking of making some kind of comprehensive essay to analyze why the Disney era feels inauthentic compared to pre-2012 Star Wars. But that would require me to consume hours and hours of slop so it's a tough call.
i look forward to your 12 hour video essay on why a 2 hour movie is bad
 
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