SUPER EASY DINNER IDEA - 3/28/2018

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Bitch youre home all day you dont need a crock pot or "super easy"/"quick" dinner ideas which were meant for like working moms (or parents) and women who were forced to do that second shift work. You could open your own barbeque shop with your own slow smoked meats with all the free time you have. Or a bakery with slow-leavened sourdough bread; you have fucking time, learn to cook. Practice makes perfect but only if youre consistently getting, or attempting to get better.

I'd tell her to go to the library and check out some cookbooks there but she adamantly refuses to get ID because that would, I dunno, hold her to a higher standard of responsibility somehow?
 
Azshara said:
Crockpots are great for people who are busy or for that nice meal every once in a while that takes all day to cook. Amber wants a crock pot simply because she can throw a bunch of crap in it and practically ignore it for 4 hours, and then act like she made some amazing dish. She's lazy, and if she cooks this way she doesn't have to stand in front of the stove while things cook. Seriously though it wouldn't kill her to look up some recipes. Sorry for :powerlevel: but I've only ever eaten pork/beef with potatoes, celery, carrots, onions, and some other veggies in a crockpot. Do people actually make chicken in those? Just seems weird.
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Yeah, the way Amber does it is really dumb. She takes a cut of very lean meat and just plops it in there. No matter what else she puts in, it's going to come out so dry.

I posted a little earlier about a good chicken recipe, but just get some chicken thighs, a jar of curry / salsa / whatever, throw it in there with an onion and you're good to go.
 
AL here’s the deal with crockpot breasts. I know your shit was dry and chewy af. You only need to cook breasts on low for 2-3 hours until the internal temperature is 165. Cook it for longer and the temp gets higher it irreversibly dries out even if it’s been soaking in slop. It’s just how it works. If you insist on cooking on high I agree that the thigh is what you want. If you are going to go to all of the trouble of opening the can, and shaking the shot out of Mrs. Dash you should at least try and not make it turn into dental floss.

Ricky goes to all of that trouble killing the chickens, and this is how you treat them? Show some respect!
 
I mean seriously. I dread everytime a recipe calls for cream of chicken because it looks like absolute barf, but I've never had the cooked product come out continuing to look like barf. AL continues to amaze and confound me with her culinary skills.

Also, I can't recall -- have we ever once seen her buy a cookbook?
 
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Maggots on a Train said:
Scrapbooking catalog photos of fat strangers because you don't have enough photos of real friends.
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What would she have to scrapbook? What does she do in her whole life that she could take pictures of and later look back and be like "I want to preserve these in a book of memories." Her life is as bland as her cooking. Trying to make pretty collages of fat models is honestly more interesting than her own scrapbook could ever be.
 
the thing that makes me crack up the most about AL after all these vids is when she tries to emulate a "lifestyle" vlogger as she did in this one. it's fucking gold.

the part when she tried to come across as a "crock pot life coach" is just peak AL on Youtube.
 
being 500lbs is not a mistake. it's a choice. she also likes to do weird activities of all the things she wish she could do, but never does the work to achieve it.

you may use spaces said:
Her food looks so terrible! It makes me wonder how she ate as a child. Sure, not everyone can make 5 star sushi, but nobody's cooking is that bad! She had no excuse because there are entire YouTube channels dedicated to cooking.
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i hope she trolling
 
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Becky seemed done in this video. Could this be the beginning of the end? :optimistic: Becky, apparently all you have to do to get some alone time with the boys to plot your escape is say you're going to an action movie. Blink twice if you need help.
 
  • It's hilarious that when her friends are away for several hours, the best Amber can do for them in her spare time is dump a bunch of shit in a crock-pot and incorrectly cook mushroom and rice on the stove. So kind and thoughtful! So much work and effort! If that's what I came home to, I'd be far from impressed. Insulted is more like it. At least cutting corners gave her time to focus on more important things like personal middle school projects, I guess.

  • I'm surprised spinach was absent from that abomination.

  • I hate how Amber treats Becky. Amber wouldn't take time for Becky, and Amber also wouldn't let Becky take take time for herself and enjoy her comic book in peace. Ugh.

  • I loved this quote from the comment call-out segment:
    Amberlynn Reid said:
    Like, we're all human. We make mistakes; it happens.
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    She's resembling ForeverKailyn these days.

Long time lurker said:
Amber says: "I love having a crock-pot it just I don't know it's great to have your food cooking while you're doing other things around the house you don't have to pay attention I feel like people with like children and like a job where they have to leave the house this would be great". So she doesn't need one.
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That quote made me bust a gut. Lmfao!

Long time lurker said:
Shows us her last dose of Wellbutrin because...I don't know. Need to get more stuff in the video? I was wrong, it's because it's kinda sad. OK then.
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That part was so attention-whorey.

I Hate Myself said:
The Cream of Chicken cans say "98% fat free." Amber's obsession with fat free things is asinine. Eating things with a high fat content isn't an issue, it's all the carbs and sugars you consume. You don't need to avoid cooking oils and fat, you need to stop slamming corn syrup and starch in your gullet.
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Fat-free products are dumb, but fatty food is calorically dense and can lead to weight gain in excess. If Hamber ate a quarter of an avocado instead of cramming the entire thing into her maw, she'd be fine. Limiting refined starch and added sugars would definitely help manage beetus (that Hamber totes doesn't have, guise!)

I Hate Myself said:
If making collages is your thing and makes you feel good, by all means, go for it. I'm sure we all do maybe childish or weird things that help calm us down or make us feel good. But scrapbooking a plus size magazine into your journal instead of going out with your roommates and girlfriend for a movie night? I just don't get it. See a therapist in addition to your scrap booking? Just a thought, IDK GORL. That would be pretty therapeutic.
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I don't understand the obsession with childlike activities that Hamber, Necky and Eric share. I'll cut some slack if it's a busy adult trying to relax, but none of these fools work or have major responsibilities. They could definitely be doing something more productive that would improve their lives, but they won't. It's comedy gold.
 
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de_DEVIL_tails said:
Maybe its because they put height and weight on the cards, and she doesnt want an official government issued thing offically state shes 500+ el bees?
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The reason she doesn't want an ID or a job is so none of her debt collectors can find her. She allegedly never paid her student loans and who knows what else. We've seen how she spends money, not a stretch of the imagination that she has a few outstanding debts.

It's been hypothesized that she doesn't pay taxes. She doesn't have a state ID or driver's licence. She may not be on an official lease but rather a written agreement to pay the landlord. She's living as much off the grid as.she can while still trying to be a popular internet personality.

Not sure how YouTube pays people. Do they mail a check or put it on a PayPal account?
 
de_DEVIL_tails said:
Maybe its because they put height and weight on the cards, and she doesnt want an official government issued thing offically state shes 500+ el bees?
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As if the DMV cares. It'd be a little hard for her to say she's 6 feet tall, but she could tell them she weighs 200 elbees and nobody would stand there and argue with her because they really just don't give a shit.
 
shakingmyhead said:
I can see why...Amberlynn seems to drag Becky to every pseudo-philosophical YA movie that gets released, and Amber can't go see one that Becky likes?
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Poor Becky. She has to cater to and indulge Amberlynn's interests while hers are neglected. But that's her life since she's got such a selfish partner. Becky can't even poke fun at crap like that (if she's even the type) or AL will scream at her.
 
Rotogravure said:
Also, I can't recall -- have we ever once seen her buy a cookbook?
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Honestly, I'm surprised she doesn't own all of the Pioneer Woman cookbooks.

Sparkletor said:
Not sure how YouTube pays people. Do they mail a check or put it on a PayPal account?
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I have a friend that does YT. They said the money comes in around the 21st of every month and it can take a couple days to hit your bank account. So, I believe it's direct deposit.
 
You know, if she'd put some egg noodles in the grockpot, and maybe some fresh green vegetables it wouldn't have been as horrible looking as it was. With some actual seasoning, it might have even been a bit more palatable.
 
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