Surtur and littlebiscuits guide to F.A.T.A.L

[Burned Man]

As Ingelgram gets back on his feet he says. "I was totally going to kill you right there but you fell down like a bitch and there is no honor in killing a defenseless man. I only fell to make you feel better." With his incompetence masked and both combatants back on their feet. He tosses his trident aside and draws his Falchion with his right hand and his Gladius with his left hand. He proceeds to briskly jog at Warrin and swing his Gladius at his opponent's mace arm while holding his Falchion over head ready to strike at an opening.

 

[HG 400]

Alright, drawing two swords takes 2/3rds of a combat round, not giving you enough time to launch an attack with either sword (which take a full round each to attack). If you'd like, you could attack with your trident (with or without a charging bonus), draw only one sword while making an unarmed "brawling-style" attack (which only takes half a round), or attempt an Ambidexterity Roll to draw them both simultaneously and still have enough time for an unarmed brawling attack. Alternatively you could drop your trident to make two brawling-style attacks or attempt to grapple (be warned that wrestling can randomly result in unexpected and potentially fatal gay-rape)

Same goes for Warin, since he didn't get to actually draw his mace last round, he can draw it and launch a brawling-style attack, but he won't be able to draw and strike with it in the same turn. Alternatively he could draw his dagger and stab with that in one round, or he can launch two brawling-attacks or attempt a grapple.

 

[Burned Man]

As tempting as potentially fatal gay rape is I'm going to have to woo my lady and raping a man to death might not work out so good.
Ingelgram attempts to draw both swords at the same time in order to impress the fair dairymaiden after that last debacle and attempts to kick Warrin. (Or whatever would constitute as a brawling attack.)

 

[Randall Fragg]

As tempting as potentially fatal gay rape is I'm going to have to woo my lady and raping a man to death might not work out so good.
Ingelgram attempts to draw both swords at the same time in order to impress the fair dairymaiden after that last debacle and attempts to kick Warrin. (Or whatever would constitute as a brawling attack.)

Well, she is a pedophile with a rape fetish, so it might just turn her on. That is, if she doesn't get bored and go cruising playgrounds in a windowless white van with "Free Candy" written on the side.

 

[HG 400]

and attempts to kick Warrin. (Or whatever would constitute as a brawling attack.)

Yeah, you don't choose what kind of unarmed attack you do, just state your intention to attack brawling-style and I roll the outcome on a chart to see whether you punched/kicked/gouged out an eye/bit off a testicle, etc. It'll have to wait for somebody on Team Warin to give a decision first though, since if he also attacks in this round I'll need to roll initiative.

 

[Burned Man]

Yeah, you don't choose what kind of unarmed attack you do, just state your intention to attack brawling-style and I roll the outcome on a chart to see whether you punched/kicked/gouged out an eye/bit off a testicle, etc.

Even Better. I can't wait for what terrible thing will happen from this.

 

[Le Bateleur]

Loving ever clunky dice roll of this so far.

Can you suplex your opponent, or perform an Atomic Leg Drop if the dice fall right?

 

[HG 400]

You can perform four types of suplex, most of which have a good chance of crushing your enemies' head like an overripe melon and instakilling him. I don't see Atomic Leg Drops on the chart anywhere, though.

 

[Le Bateleur]

Glad to hear that. Two men locked in combat with the possibility of forced manlove would just seem weird with no rasslin' moves involved...

 

[HG 400]

In the meantime, I'm actually getting confident enough with this retarded-ass system that I think I could actually run a game of this and give mankind the first ever FATAL game in recorded history. From what I've read online, there are a handful of anecdotal claims to have run a game of FATAL, and all of them reek of bullshit to me ("oh man, it took THREE HOURS just to roll our characters"... yeah, right. There's no way anyone rolled FATAL characters that quickly).

Okay, so a couple conditions.
- It has to be play-by-post, whether on this forum or elsewhere. The game will progress slowly, but there's no way I'm gonna schedule a time to play live only to have everyone sitting around for the 40 minutes it takes me to calculate whether or not a character's hat fits comfortably and whether or not he fumbles putting it on and gets struck by lightning because the gods are displeased. This game absolutely will not work live.
- It's gonna be a really really short and simple quest, which will probably take an eternity under FATAL rules anyway.

And some choices that any volunteers will have to decide on before we proceed. What would you prefer we do?
Character Generation
Option A - Go Ultra-Fatal. Totally randomise everything, and probably have the party try to race-war each other the minute the game begins.
Option B - Try to make this bullshit workable. Humans only, choose your age, but randomised occupations, which is something the rulebook actually suggests.
Option C - Try to fix Fatal. I could fuck around with the chargen to get a stereotypical D&D-style six-man adventuring band for you to pick characters from, with whatever the FATAL equivalents for Fighter, Ranger, Rogue, Bard, Wizard, and Cleric are.

Game Mechanics
Option A - Go Ultra-Fatal. Play by the book. Follow the rules to the letter, even when they're obviously broken and impossible. Make you roll to see if you succeed in walking from point A to point B without fucking it up. Deliberately try to find ridiculous rolls to make you perform for every action you attempt. Check forehead circumferences every time you try to wear a hat, etc.
Option B - Try to make this bullshit workable. Follow the rules, but skip the worst unnecessary rolling, and I'll use my judgement to get around anything that's obviously broken and unworkable.
Option C - Try to fix Fatal. I'll ignore all unnecessary autism-rolls and I'll introduce houserules to handwave and ignore stupid shit as it occurs.

Game Theme
Option A - Go Ultra-Fatal. My only goal will be to GM exactly as I think Byron Hall would GM, and constantly attempt to have everyone's characters raped and cannibalised by monsters, and to reward you only with the stupidest, racistest, sanity-defyingest magical items available.
Option B - Try to make this bullshit workable. I'll throw a couple of rapists and retarded magical items at you occasionally to remind you that it's still FATAL we're playing, but I'll keep it as a 'nod' to the overall theme, not the single and only driving point of the game.
Option C - Try to fix Fatal. I'll ignore all the crazy rape-fetish shit and not give you any of the fucktarded magical items. Your character can still try to molest a milkmaid or something, if you want, but I'll probably try to have the village guards (or the rest of your party) kill you for it.

My personal choice would be Option A on all counts, since if we do anything less, we're not really playing FATAL, and haven't really made history in the stupidest saddest way possible. But it could be even more interesting to try and make FATAL actually work. I'll leave it up to anyone who wants to participate to decide.

 

[exball]

Go pure FATAL.

 

[Sammy]

oh god. You fuckers actually found FATAL?
Why would you even crack those books open? I know this is the forum that celebrates autism and terribleness, but COME ON guys, can't we all just agree these are coffins best left undisturbed? I really don't see the poi-

In the meantime, I'm actually getting confident enough with this retarded-ass system that I think I could actually run a game of this and give mankind the first ever FATAL game in recorded history.

...

I'm in.

We can't play FATAL unless we play FATAL, rules as written. we need to do this 100%. I vote pure FATAL.

 

[Not There]

Sorry about that, I fell asleep. I'll blame FATAL! Okay, here we go.

"Ha!" Scoffs Warin, "you're just a... ye olde strumpet or whatever is a proper insult in this time period! Prepare to have your anal circumference rustled, child, for I am... a badass, or whatever." Warin draws his mace and prepares to swing it upwards at Ingelram, using his free hand to punch at Ingelram's nuts, because that will hurt less than playing this game and breaking immersion.

(I had some different typed out, but NOOOOO, it's against FATAL's weird combat system rules. Hope that works instead.)

 

[ASoulMan]

Pure FATAL is the way to go. We need to see how this game is played.

 

[Not There]

My vote is pure FATAL. I want to be part of the worst history in the making.

In the event that we all end up on a government watch list for so much as cracking the rule book open, is there anyone else who feels like... not allowing characters under a certain age? Say we all roll random on the character generator, save for age.

I would like to keep whatever shreds of sanity I'll have left, thank you very much.

 

[HG 400]

Alright, both Warin and Ingelram are attempting to draw their weapons in one second. Warin manages to draw his mace comfortably, but Ingelram needs to pass an ambidexterity check. Since advising him to do so, I've learned that ambidexterity is something you can only buy during character creation, and all it does is give you a tiny but constant chance of attacking with both weapons when duel-wielding. Since it was my mistake, I'm gonna allow an ambidexterity roll anyway with an arbitrary TH15, but it won't happen in future. An interesting thing to note is that a game which demands your anal circumference doesn't even have a set penalty for using your off-hand to do things. Weird thing to leave out when you need to pass a skill check to successfully urinate.

Okay, Ingelram rolls 12+6, passing the check. He draws both weapons simultaneously. Now we roll initiative to see who strikes first.
Initiative formula is ((1D100) +/- Reaction Speed Modifier + Breadth - Delivery Penalty) Since you're both striking unarmed, the delivery penalties of your weapons will be ignored.

Warin = 1D100 + 6 + 36 = 70
Ingelram = 1D100 + 6 + 31 = 47

Both roll fairly low, but Warin wins initiative to start the brawlin'. First we roll D100 + Warin's agility bonuses to find out what kind of attack he launches. I roll 88, which is a knee to the groin, very classy Warin. Now we roll 3D10 and apply the same agility bonus, to find out if he hits. 21 + 14, that looks promising. Warin's roll of 35 has to beat Ingelram's CAB (Current Armor against Brawling), which is 14. It beats it pretty soundly. Knee to the groin from a human is 3d6 damage, regardless of strength, which seems pretty stupid, but okay. 15 damage to Ingelram's poor knackers.

Warin slams his knee into Ingelram's crotch for a shocking 15 points of damage. However, we don't just subtract 15 LP (hitpoints) from Ingelram, that'd be too easy. First, we get the BPP (Body Part Points) for Ingelram's groin. That's his base max LP multipled by the body perspective percentage for his groin (it comes to 0.2, which I have to round up to 1). A single hitpoint of damage to the groin would render it permanently broken and unusable, and Ingelram just took 15. His genitals are now broken and will never heal, ever. As well as a broken babymaker, Ingelram suffers 1 point of damage to his overall LP (it's capped at the max BPP).

Now, we have to check if Ingelram is smote (knocked down) from the hit. The chance for smiting an enemy from a brawlin' attack is a tenth of the percentage of damage done relative to the maximum LP of the victim. So if I roll a 97 or more on a D100, Ingelram will be smote. Roll is 77, he heroically remains standing after having both his testicles exploded, as is realistic and historically accurate.

However, we still have to check if the blow interrupted Ingelram enough to keep him from launching his own attack. That's a simpler one, a D100 simply has to beat the percentage of damage relative to his maximum, so if I roll a 75 or higher, Ingelram will be able to continue his attack as normal. Rolled 89, Ingelram is completely unphased by having his gonads violently imploded and rendered useless for the rest of his life.

Okay, Ingelram's turn to hit back. 100 + 14 to determine the type of attack (43, a punch in the throat), then 3D10 + 14 against Warin's Throat's Current Armor Against Brawling. A roll of 27 beats Warin's defence of 15, and he is struck in the throat for 1d12 (10) damage. His throat is rendered broken forever, and since you need your throat to breath, he has effectively just been killed. That's also 1 LP base damage, since it's capped on the body-part. Rolling for smote and it's under 97, so Warin isn't knocked down. However, his throat is crushed and he is now suffocating to death. The rules for a crushed windpipe state 10% of potential LP per round, which means Warin will be unconscious in 12 seconds (four combat rounds) and death in 18 seconds (six combat rounds). There is no way of reversing this.

Okay, what are the next actions for our neutered gladiator and our quickly dying soldier?

 

[Surtur]

REALISM

 

[Le Bateleur]

I'd say that at least this means you get to skip the ravishing of the dairymaid, but I flicked through the rulebook and I'm really not so sure it does...

 

[c-no]

My Borb character. Made it in honor of Borb.

 

[littlebiscuits]

In the meantime, I'm actually getting confident enough with this retarded-ass system that I think I could actually run a game of this and give mankind the first ever FATAL game in recorded history. From what I've read online, there are a handful of anecdotal claims to have run a game of FATAL, and all of them reek of bullshit to me ("oh man, it took THREE HOURS just to roll our characters"... yeah, right. There's no way anyone rolled FATAL characters that quickly).

Okay, so a couple conditions.
- It has to be play-by-post, whether on this forum or elsewhere. The game will progress slowly, but there's no way I'm gonna schedule a time to play live only to have everyone sitting around for the 40 minutes it takes me to calculate whether or not a character's hat fits comfortably and whether or not he fumbles putting it on and gets struck by lightning because the gods are displeased. This game absolutely will not work live.
- It's gonna be a really really short and simple quest, which will probably take an eternity under FATAL rules anyway.

And some choices that any volunteers will have to decide on before we proceed. What would you prefer we do?
Character Generation
Option A - Go Ultra-Fatal. Totally randomise everything, and probably have the party try to race-war each other the minute the game begins.
Option B - Try to make this bullshit workable. Humans only, choose your age, but randomised occupations, which is something the rulebook actually suggests.
Option C - Try to fix Fatal. I could fuck around with the chargen to get a stereotypical D&D-style six-man adventuring band for you to pick characters from, with whatever the FATAL equivalents for Fighter, Ranger, Rogue, Bard, Wizard, and Cleric are.

Game Mechanics
Option A - Go Ultra-Fatal. Play by the book. Follow the rules to the letter, even when they're obviously broken and impossible. Make you roll to see if you succeed in walking from point A to point B without fucking it up. Deliberately try to find ridiculous rolls to make you perform for every action you attempt. Check forehead circumferences every time you try to wear a hat, etc.
Option B - Try to make this bullshit workable. Follow the rules, but skip the worst unnecessary rolling, and I'll use my judgement to get around anything that's obviously broken and unworkable.
Option C - Try to fix Fatal. I'll ignore all unnecessary autism-rolls and I'll introduce houserules to handwave and ignore stupid shit as it occurs.

Game Theme
Option A - Go Ultra-Fatal. My only goal will be to GM exactly as I think Byron Hall would GM, and constantly attempt to have everyone's characters raped and cannibalised by monsters, and to reward you only with the stupidest, racistest, sanity-defyingest magical items available.
Option B - Try to make this bullshit workable. I'll throw a couple of rapists and retarded magical items at you occasionally to remind you that it's still FATAL we're playing, but I'll keep it as a 'nod' to the overall theme, not the single and only driving point of the game.
Option C - Try to fix Fatal. I'll ignore all the crazy rape-fetish shit and not give you any of the fucktarded magical items. Your character can still try to molest a milkmaid or something, if you want, but I'll probably try to have the village guards (or the rest of your party) kill you for it.

My personal choice would be Option A on all counts, since if we do anything less, we're not really playing FATAL, and haven't really made history in the stupidest saddest way possible. But it could be even more interesting to try and make FATAL actually work. I'll leave it up to anyone who wants to participate to decide.

I'd be happy to play!