Tabletop Roleplaying Games (D&D, Pathfinder, CoC, ETC.)

[Mr. Manchester]

I'm late on the discussion about being a munchkin/min maxing/power gaming or whatever but I want to defend the practice. I primarily play pathfinder 1e which is a giant mess of rules and bullshit. I like this game the most for a few reasons. The biggest reason for this is that I've been playing that system since it was 3.0 and know it like the back of my hand, but another reason is that I like picking around with the rules. Putting together a character feels like building a custom hotrod or something. It's fun.

Thing about that is that I'm lucky enough to play in a group where everyone feels the same way. It's a specific circumstance that makes the way that I like to play the game work. When I play bullshit games with explosive runes (did you know the Isotoq, a 2 HD flying eyeball undead can read?) it's met with laughter at some nonsense my asshole wizard figured out.

That being said there is a modicum of common sense required to not do this out in the wild. If through some miracle I found a group of people that wanted to play pathinder 1e that didn't know the rules well enough to be a fucking asshole than I'd tone it down. Probably play some out of sight out of mind cleric that waddles around in full plate and preps remove X spells. That's one of the best ways to play a cleric anyway.

To the topic of banning things, I don't ban anything from my game when I run. Core spells tend to just be better, summoners are overrated and are over relient on pounce, do whatever the fuck with your melee build and any build that squeezes out an extra die of sneak attack deserves it. The game has too much nonsense floating around it for anyone to have a solution to everything. The only thing I do ban is wasting everyone's time, if you don't know how your shit works than don't do it and for fuck sakes I don't need to know what you rolled on your fucking d20 just give me the result god damn it. Fuck.

 

[The Ugly One]

and for fuck sakes I don't need to know what you rolled on your fucking d20 just give me the result god damn it

Been playing with the same group for almost 10 years now, and I still get, "I rolled a 4." "Really? I know your character adds at least +6 to that roll. How is that even possible?" "Oh, I mean I rolled a 10."

 

[Booger1488]

Went to a game night at what passes for the local game store to play DnD for the first time in a few years. I thought I was socially maladjusted, but then I met the guys there. Hygiene seemed to be a secondary concern for most of them, then there was one who kept shouting at the DM because he was playing a druid and couldn't transform into an aquatic animal because there was an enchantment which took over the minds of any aquatic animals. According to him, he'd brought a dozen memes and the DM had ruined them because he couldn't transform. As far as I could work out, these memes consisted of him playing meme music from his phone based upon what animal he was. Baby Shark for when he became a shark, et cetera.

As far as the game went, it could have gone worse. Apart from interruptions from the aforementioned player, we managed to work together well enough that we defeated the final boss without too much issue. I'd built a warlock based around illusion and enchantment, which meant I was pretty much useless when our enemies were immune to such things and I was relegated to spamming eldritch blast. The most interesting occurrence was when our cleric decided to use divine intervention to ask his god to 'unleash his full wrath upon the enemies', and he never realised that asking for a tactical nuke to be dropped right in front of us might have been a bad idea. When we returned to the port town the adventure had started in we found almost everyone had died from the blast.

Not sure if I'll go back, but it was a fun distraction for the night. Too bad the rest of the night didn't go the same way.

 

[Aib Ld]

Really hate it when I get a good game and group going, then some retard acts up and slows the game very drastically. Doubly so when you clearly have other people that feel the same as you: wanting to keep playing.

 

[NiggerKing22]

Personally, I'm just racist against the dysgenic midget fucks. Same goes for halflings, and infinitely more so for kender. All my niggas hate kender.

Fuck you gnomes are funny and halflings come from the most christian literature possible. With non-humanoid races though, if they aren't weird bug people or robots, I bet the player's 100% a furfag.

By the by has anyone heard of Tormenta. Basically brazillian D&D? I think I gave up on combat because it's so godawfully slow. Did you know the rulebook is so disorganized the official publishers had to make a reference website so you can check the rules faster? The official DM shield is not enough lol.

 

[Chucklenuts]

halflings come from the most christian literature possible.

This has no bearing on the average 5enigger. As for gnomes, funny is pretty fucking subjective, pic related.

 

[NiggerKing22]

This has no bearing on the average 5enigger. As for gnomes, funny is pretty fucking subjective, pic related.

>the virgin fears the 2 foot brapper
Gnomes are funny by simply existing, especially if you make a half-gnome half-small race that's the size of a football or a gnome barbarian that's the equivalent of a L4D Jockey.

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

I would never do the "if you get a natural 20 retard shit happens" thing, nor the "if you roll a 1 your attempt to open an unlocked door results in you instantly exploding into gibs" thing.

But a natural 20 on an impossibility might result in a less pathetic failure. "Okay so you rolled a natural 20. . .on absolute retardation you shouldn't have even tried. I guess the dragon is at least annoyed enough to be distracted a bit."

This is way back, but with skills it was often touted that a nat-20 was a 30 and a nat-1 was a -10 to the check.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

To the topic of banning things, I don't ban anything from my game when I run. Core spells tend to just be better, summoners are overrated and are over relient on pounce, do whatever the fuck with your melee build and any build that squeezes out an extra die of sneak attack deserves it. The game has too much nonsense floating around it for anyone to have a solution to everything. The only thing I do ban is wasting everyone's time, if you don't know how your shit works than don't do it and for fuck sakes I don't need to know what you rolled on your fucking d20 just give me the result god damn it. Fuck.

I'm running a few only war campaigns right now and all of my players got really lucky on all of the roll to find stuff so they kind of have very powerful gear but everyone's having fun so I really don't see a problem with it I don't really care of people or overpowered if people are having fun that's all that matters.

I generally don't ban anything I don't really care about the concept of things being OP anything can be really overpowered my one thing I'll say about only war is it really needs to be changed a bit but it's never going to happen because fantasy flight is never working with GW ever again due to them working on Star Wars Ipgs and Gw being a bunch of hissy homosexuals who employ people like Gabe Thoib the king of mediocre writers and that one guy who got so **** blasted and my stepfather that he wid him into a black library novel that'll show him

 

[40 Year Old Boomer]

This has no bearing on the average 5enigger. As for gnomes, funny is pretty fucking subjective, pic related.

Teehee Maccaroni is the bane of my fucking existence.

Every fucking campaign that my GM runs inevitably at some point involves running into an NPC named "Teehee Maccaroni," who the GM affectionately describes as "an epic level sorcerer who's also a retarded nudist gnome."

Teehee Maccaroni wander the countryside with a unique Rod of Wonders powered by "retard magic" shoved up his anus, and he casts the Rod of Wonders by diddling his penis. He says nothing but his own name in different inflections and the phrase "I like-a the goodberry, gimme gimme the goodberry." The GM thinks it's hilarious to have this character show up during the middle of encounters we're struggling at and start jerking off magic everywhere.

But the worst part is his chant. He wanders around chanting his name, so when he's about to show up the GM will start low;
>Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
>Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
And then get louder and louder until he's fucking shouting
>TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!
>TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!

And the table loves it! The other guys I play with think this is the best shit! Teehee Maccaroni has been our table's de-facto inside joke, our signature "running gag" for six years now. When that chant starts up, everyone else joins in like a ritual; the whole table is expected to start chanting "TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI" by the end, and every fucking time I refuse because this is some embarrassing circa-2002 Penguin of Doom shit, it's always the same thing; "There goes Anon again! No fun allowed around Anon! Anon's just a big grouch who's getting angry because we're making him touch Teehee Maccaroni's penis again! Why won't you just let us have fun with this character, he's just here for dumb fun, you stick-in-the mud!"

These motherfuckers are all over 25 years old.

Teehee Maccaroni is going to be the death of me.

 

[NiggerKing22]

Teehee Maccaroni is going to be the death of me.

Kill it before it kills you. Make your party fumble and make him appear more to learn his weaknesses, build a cabal of sorcerers and then with a thoroughly-prepared anti-retard magic ritual send him to the demiplane of Overdue Gags And Kicked Dead Horses.

Alternatively convince him to become a tranny and chop his dick off, beating him to death with his own Rod of Wonders.

 

[Red Dragon]

By the by has anyone heard of Tormenta

By far the worst setting I had the displeasure of experience. It's a gigantic theme park of the worst weeb power fantasies and the author's thinly-veiled fetishes. That shit creatively tanked RPG in Brazil for a long time. A good deal of the setting is a corrupted copy of L5R without anything that makes L5R interesting and doubling down on the anime aspects - and this is coming from a retard animefag.

The fact I played using the D&D3.5 rules instead of their own rules speaks volumes of what a cancerous system that shit was. Absolutely nothing of value can be salvaged from Tormenta, unless you're a gooner and are into guro porn and furry shit. Unfortunately, the authors are still celebrated to this day, instead of being seem as the weirdo coomers that they are.

I apologize for the rant, but Tormenta genuinely makes me MATI.

 

[The Ugly One]

And the table loves it! The other guys I play with think this is the best shit! Teehee Maccaroni has been our table's de-facto inside joke, our signature "running gag" for six years now. When that chant starts up, everyone else joins in like a ritual; the whole table is expected to start chanting "TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI" by the end, and every fucking time I refuse because this is some embarrassing circa-2002 Penguin of Doom shit, it's always the same thing; "There goes Anon again! No fun allowed around Anon! Anon's just a big grouch who's getting angry because we're making him touch Teehee Maccaroni's penis again! Why won't you just let us have fun with this character, he's just here for dumb fun, you stick-in-the mud!"

This sort of thing is funniest when there's exactly one player it annoys.

 

[40 Year Old Boomer]

This sort of thing is funniest when there's exactly one player it annoys.

It's aged like wine to the point where I can hear it being read in Chuck McGill's voice as he rants before the court.

 

[Scream Aim Fire]

Anyone got any thoughts on the Plane Shift supplements for DnD 5e? The ones about playing a bunch of Magic: the Gathering settings (Zendikar, Innistrad, Kaladesh, Amonkhet, Ixalan, and Dominaria) in DnD 5e? From what I can tell, they're technically considered Homebrew content, but they were written by WOTC (albeit by the M:tG team rather than the main DnD team). Any thoughts?

 

[Adamska]

Anyone got any thoughts on the Plane Shift supplements for DnD 5e? The ones about playing a bunch of Magic: the Gathering settings (Zendikar, Innistrad, Kaladesh, Amonkhet, Ixalan, and Dominaria) in DnD 5e? From what I can tell, they're technically considered Homebrew content, but they were written by WOTC (albeit by the M:tG team rather than the main DnD team). Any thoughts?

Never interested in Magic, never cared for its lore, and thought the book spam for it was lame.

Especially since Hasbro treats the cards as their golden child since they shoved all their troublemakers and fucktards into Wizards.

 

[The Ugly One]

Anyone got any thoughts on the Plane Shift supplements for DnD 5e? The ones about playing a bunch of Magic: the Gathering settings (Zendikar, Innistrad, Kaladesh, Amonkhet, Ixalan, and Dominaria) in DnD 5e? From what I can tell, they're technically considered Homebrew content, but they were written by WOTC (albeit by the M:tG team rather than the main DnD team). Any thoughts?

gay & retarded

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

Teehee Maccaroni is going to be the death of me.

I hate those sort of characters. I'd actually take it as a challenge to find a way to kill it.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Anyone got any thoughts on the Plane Shift supplements for DnD 5e? The ones about playing a bunch of Magic: the Gathering settings (Zendikar, Innistrad, Kaladesh, Amonkhet, Ixalan, and Dominaria) in DnD 5e? From what I can tell, they're technically considered Homebrew content, but they were written by WOTC (albeit by the M:tG team rather than the main DnD team). Any thoughts?

Don't know anything about it but the nice thing about planar stuff is that at the end of the day it's all up to you. If its something you're interested in reading than you can pull the good stuff out of it and throw the rest in a dumpster. In fact as far as I'm concerned you can do whatever the fuck you want with planes. Invent new planes, change planar rules, make arbitrary decisions on the edicts gods have to follow, and steal from anything you want. I should run more planar stuff now that I think of it.

 

[Halbschwanz]

Teehee Maccaroni

I think I remember reading this on /tg/ back in like 2015. Goddamn does time fly.