Taco Bell - Make a run for the toilet

[General Disarray]

I can help if you want a Taco Bell-esque tostada or the Enchirito they took off the menu years ago.

Hatch Enchilada Sauce and La Preferida Refried Beans, authentic style. Add a little sour cream and dried onion/seasoned salt (just a little) to the beans over low heat for a better flavor.

I regularly have taco meat and the aforementioned beans in the fridge, so I just roll them up the tortilla, pour Hatch over it, then smother with shredded mexican cheese and nuke (or even better, throw under the broiler). For tostadas, get the premade tostada shells, layer with beans and enchilada sauce, squeeze sour cream on that sucker, then load up with lettuce and shredded cheese. Almost identical.

 

[ForgedBlades]

Is it just me or am I the only person that has no issues with eating Taco Bell?

Half of the meals I eat come off a gas station roller grill. I've built up an incredible immunity to gastrointestinal bombs over the last 30 years. My colon laughs in the face of Taco Bell.

 

[Phimosis Jonisis]

Whatever that steak wrap thing that only had chipotle sauce was amazing

 

[Archeops]

I finally decided to give their app a try, I ordered the usual but I was actually able to order a Quesarito instead of a 5-Layer Burrito.

God I miss the Quesarito being a regular menu item, the 5-Layer Burrito is okay but I often find it having too much refried beans for my tastes.

 

[Under Arrest]

Taco Bell - Make a run for the toilet
What's your favorite item?

• 7 layer burrito
• 33 layer burrito
• Everything tastes the same and makes me fart
• The Nick Fuentes Special
• The diarrhito
• Huh huh 420 blazeitfaggot

Fourth choice down on the list...

 

[thegooddoctor]

Agreed. The whole “omg! Taco Bell gave me the worst diarrhea guiz!” thing is either a retarded Reddit meme that won’t die or these people have the wimpiest digestive system ever.

I will say though that they seem to be really liberal with how much sour cream they use. A little bit goes a long way and every time lately when I ask to go light on the sour cream, the food still looks like a giant splooged all over it.

Exactly, the whole stupid meme of ‘Hurr Taco Bell, time to destroy my toilet, braaaaap’ Is really overblown. I’ve eaten it a few times, normally only the chalupas cravings box or volcanic burrito meal and my stomach was fine, these people are just culinary weaklings ahi have clearly never had real spicy or stomach challenging food. Any quality Indian or some good Jamaican/ Caribbean food really will screw your insides out if not moderated compared to wimpy Taco Bell, that’s the stuff that will foul up your friends air if not careful.

 

[Depths of Homolust]

I stopped going to Taco Bell about a year ago after I realized I could just buy their sauces at Publix. From there things quickly spiralled out of control and I gained more than fifteen pounds. I now limit myself to one homemade creamy chipotle chicken tender five layer burrito per day.

 

[Under Arrest]

I can help if you want a Taco Bell-esque tostada or the Enchirito they took off the menu years ago.

The Enchirito as it looked in 1970, served in a metal foil tray. Here and there it's still available.

 

[Nader's Branch]

Okay gurls,

Breakfast Crunchwrap Supreme. Basic bitch crunch wrap with eggs, bacon, pico, and guac. It wasn't on the menu forever but you could still order it until the Pandemic. That's what we need to bring back... w/ fire sauce.

 

[Agoodpotroast]

I know I'm not the only person mad that they haven't brought the mexican pizza back. I did hear that they're supposed to pretty soon

 

[Trilby]

I know I'm not the only person mad that they haven't brought the mexican pizza back. I did hear that they're supposed to pretty soon

Just seems like they want their own McRib with this.

 

[Mnutu]

I know I'm not the only person mad that they haven't brought the mexican pizza back. I did hear that they're supposed to pretty soon

Why? It’s actual garbage. The worst part of Taco Bell is their refried beans. It’s what makes you sick. Don’t order anything with them and you’ll actually enjoy it.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

Exactly, the whole stupid meme of ‘Hurr Taco Bell, time to destroy my toilet, braaaaap’ Is really overblown. I’ve eaten it a few times, normally only the chalupas cravings box or volcanic burrito meal and my stomach was fine, these people are just culinary weaklings ahi have clearly never had real spicy or stomach challenging food. Any quality Indian or some good Jamaican/ Caribbean food really will screw your insides out if not moderated compared to wimpy Taco Bell, that’s the stuff that will foul up your friends air if not careful.

I regularly eat “real” Mexican food and British style Indian food a-la Dave Lister, Taco Bell ain’t shit.
I gave a begging neighbor a bowl of my homemade Butter chicken (extra chili) and I heard him crying in the bathroom

 

[DeadwastePrime]

Exactly, the whole stupid meme of ‘Hurr Taco Bell, time to destroy my toilet, braaaaap’ Is really overblown. I’ve eaten it a few times, normally only the chalupas cravings box or volcanic burrito meal and my stomach was fine, these people are just culinary weaklings ahi have clearly never had real spicy or stomach challenging food. Any quality Indian or some good Jamaican/ Caribbean food really will screw your insides out if not moderated compared to wimpy Taco Bell, that’s the stuff that will foul up your friends air if not careful.

nah you see thats just the food poisoning, not the spicy

 

[Solid Snek]

nah you see thats just the food poisoning, not the spicy

This.

Shitting yourself after Taco Bell isn't because of the heat (I'm actually not sure if ANY Taco Bell items are spicy; none that I've tried are) or because it's got exotic Mexican flavours.

It's just the zoo-grade meat and the soggy ingredients that have been left out on a counter for weeks.


Embarrassing p/l, but I have eaten at Taco Bell before. I've also eaten quite a bit of Mexican (from TexMex chain stuff to authentic Mexican street food, the kind they spit in if you're not careful), as well as eat plenty of spicy stuff (grew up on Indian and Thai), and weird horrorfoods that are only vaguely edible (like Br*ish anything and Puerto Rican pasteles).

Spoiler: Horrifying

Mmmmm, yummy soggy banana pork! Like a fish-and-spam-flavoured Hot Pocket left in a toilet overnight!

I have a reasonably high tolerance for garbage food, but Taco Bell almost invariably makes me ill. It's not always shitting - sometimes it's vomiting, sometimes just nausea - but it's definitely some kind of mild to moderate food poisoning, and it happens at every Taco Bell in my area.


Curiously, I never had that problem when I was a kid, and I ate Taco Bell on a semi-regular basis, sometimes several times a month. Nowadays, I have Taco Bell maybe once or twice a year, if that - usually after inadvisadly deciding to ignore my last experience and get a bag of tacos, because "well I used to like Taco Bell, and really, how awful can it be?" - so one of the factors may be building up (or in my case, losing) a tolerance for whatever antifreeze and rat vomit they happen to mix in with their meat.

 

[Archeops]

I recently went to Taco Bell with a friend of mine and sadly it appears that the Quesarito has ben removed from Taco Bell's menu entirely, you can't even order it on the app anymore. That said I did have a backup in the form of their grilled cheese burrito, I've like that one ever since they introduced it.

Oh, and according to their news page Taco Bell's bringing back the Volcano Menu for the summer. I never tried the Volcano menu (due to being vegetarian at the time of its original release) but I'll give it a shot since I can handle Taco Bell's Diablo sauce.

 

[Archeops]

Apologies for the necro but I went to Taco Bell yesterday and managed to try the Volcano Burrito via their app (customer not using the will have to wait until tomorrow to order anything off of the Volcano menu).

I can see why this was so popular when it was available, the Lava sauce (which is basically a spicy nacho cheese sauce made with red jalapeños as opposed to the green ones you see everywhere) has a nice kick to it on its own and Diablo sauce elevates it to a spiciness that I don't think your average fast food diner could handle. My only complaint is that you can't order Lava sauce on the side but considering limited-time nature of the items its understandable.

 

[Sundae]

My favorite item from Taco Bell is the cinnamon twists. Love those things.

 

[Smar Mijou]

Minor sperg/rant here, not necessarily about Taco Bell but I saw it mentioned in the thread so I figured I'd bring it up. Why do all of these fast-food places insist on you downloading a fucking app to order? And on top of that, why would certain things be "unavailable" on the regular menu but exclusive to the app? I haven't ate fast-food in months, but when I did, places like McDs or Taco Bell would ask if I had ordered through the app. Honestly, what time is that saving using their app vs ordering directly at the drive-thru screen? If I wanted a "Pete Davidson Edition Quesarito Butt-Splosion Value Meal" with extra Goyslop and went to order it, knowing they had the stuff available but got told that it was "exclusive to the app", I'd honestly be pretty pissed off.

 

[ZipDisk]

I want to try the lava stuff but I don't want the app.

To answer your question, there are many reasons for the app enshitification of fast food.

1. The loyalty program - This gamifies eating out because you get points, and that encourages you to go back repeatedly. The Subway Sub Club was an innocent version of this. You got a card, and you filled it with stamps. When it was done, you got a free footlong. After the program was discontinued I still had the card in my wallet until it went through the laundry.

2. Marketing - They can blast you with notifications if you don't turn that shit off. "Free taco with the purchase of an entree" incentivizes you to get that "free" taco.

3. Data collection - They own you. They sell your purchase history to data firms. They also use your profile to decide what to sell you, what you like, what you don't.

4. Fuck you, it's finance - The ad wizard says push app. They push app.

5. Cutting employment - you order your food, the kitchen cooks it, and the window jockey is replaced by a sliding tray. No more order fuckups.

I hate the app gating of specific menu items. You're a fucking restaurant, sell food.