Take a random object/thing and politicize it - Create a fake outrage

[JambledUpWords]

These days, everything seems to be politicized. Choose something random and try to make it political.

Example:

We need to get rid of armrests on all seats because they are fatphobic. Armrests are a tool of a thincentric society and prohibit those with larger girths from sitting in these types of chairs. They are also racist because POC tend to be larger than white people. Too add to that, it’s a tactic used by white supremacists in order to prevent POC from entering certain rooms and having a seat at the table. We must ban armrests now because this oppression can’t go on much longer!

 

[Recoil]

Breakdancing is sexist because the best moves all rely on upper body strength, something women don't have. Even worse, everyone's grabbing their nuts & flipping the bird when they battle, proving it's a hotbed for toxic masculinity. Because the best dancers are all male, there exists an impermeable barrier to entry for all women.

Spoiler

This argument has actually been made to me by an impassioned radfem conflating the skill floor with patriarchy.

 

[LinuxVoid]

These days, everything seems to be politicized. Choose something random and try to make it political.

Example:

We need to get rid of armrests on all seats because they are fatphobic. Armrests are a tool of a thincentric society and prohibit those with larger girths from sitting in these types of chairs. They are also racist because POC tend to be larger than white people. Too add to that, it’s a tactic used by white supremacists in order to prevent POC from entering certain rooms and having a seat at the table. We must ban armrests now because this oppression can’t go on much longer!

I agree with this, because the last time I tried to sleep in a plane, I bumped my ribs against the armrests and it felt really painful.
Also, when I was traveling in a bus, I got lucky to sit with a good looking woman, so when I eventually passed out, I've slept leaning on her shoulders and when I woke up, she blushed and smiled. I've apologized, but that was the closest contact I've ever had with a woman and armrests would prevent that.

 

[Eryngium]

Jellyfish are racist and skinnyphobic because they are more likely to sting skinny white people because they can see black people more easily.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Caillou is satanic because the fussing Caillou does means he’s possessed by demons. His parents are trying to extract those demons, but can’t seem to do so. Anyway, this show also has no Christian element to it, so that also means it’s satanic. For the good of your children, don’t have them watch Caillou, lest demons possess them too. Before you know it, your kid will literally be worshipping Satan and trying to kill you if they are exposed to this for too long. BAN CAILLOU!!!!!!

 

[Scotsman]

Height restrictions on carnival rides are racist against Asians.

 

[Basketball Jones]

Clorox is a tool of systemic oppression on minorities because it’s commonly used by the privileged to clean away at the grout in bathrooms. Aside from being a commodity only afforded to the upper class, it also serves as a daily reminder of white oppression on minorities, further instilling racist ideas and internalized fascism. The product then coats the colored substance (which causes no harm to humans and is really only cleaned for aesthetics) and eats away at it, stripping away any of the taint it might bring to the grout, only to then be scrubbed out of existence by white hands. The marginalized people of color feel these white hands sanitizing their culture and wiping them from existence daily, and Clorox only serves as a stark, fascist reminder that under our current leadership, we live in a society...

 

[Slartibartfast]

Locks are tools of anglo-capitalistic patriarchal oppression. They are used to keep useful goods and materials that could help the less fortunate who could obviously put them to better use. Also, the require an insertion in order to operate; a clear metaphor for the rape of women by the patriarchal structures of our modern western culture.

I hear you saying "but safety" when really what you should be doing is realizing that if everyone had access to everything freely, including one another's personal spaces, then there would be no crime; crime is simply the last resort of the oppressed to survive when pressed upon by the overbearing hand of white governmental pressures.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Every single white supremacist eats food and drinks liquid. Eating food and drinking liquid is a symbol of white supremacy.

 

[Kaiser Wilhelm's Ghost]

Mother nature is racist against people of color and women because camping and sports hunting is almost exclusively a white male patriarchal hobby.

 

[Internet Nuisance]

Nazis lived in houses, so houses are an alt-right nazi symbol. Abandon your land immediately.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

White bread? COME ON PEOPLE!? Racist as fuck. A tool of oppression to remind the black man he should be in chains every time mammy makes him a peanut butter and watermelon sammich to go with his grape drank. Disgusting!

 

[Bunny Tracks]

The Magic School Bus must be banned for being blatant SJW propaganda. Whites, Blacks, Asians and Mexicans working together? Being friends? Ridiculous leftist lies! We all know people of different races can never ever truly co-exist peacefully!

 

[lol]

emojis are racist because they embody the asian stereotype of the child workers who make their phones.

 

[The Last Stand]

Technology is racist because it was invented by white people to distract people of color and females from what is happening. Black children are unable to focus on their schoolwork because of Twitter and Facebook Live, made to embarrass people of color.

 

[lsdscreamulator]

Skittles need a black and brown flavor to represent colored individuals of the LGBTQetcetcetc

Stop being racist against gays!

 

[Chichan]

Dancing is sexist because the most appealing kind objectifies and sexualizes women.

 

[Ghost of Wesley Willis]

Cardboard boxes are racist because it's brown and used to haul objects or supplies to other places, and therefore normalizes slave labor of brown people.

Edit: Wait, you're telling there's WHITE cardboard boxes? Please stop spreading Nazi propaganda my sweet summer child, we all know white people never faced oppression, who hurt you?

 

[PL 001]

Books, as well as being well-read is a sign of privilege and underlying racism. White children have the luxury of learning to read at an early age, while PoC have to deal with real world issues early on in their lives.

 

[Autistsforuganda2]

Stethoscopes are tools of Oppresion and Sexual Harassment, as White male Doctors use it to touch womens breasts with it, without any chance of calling legal actions. We demand that Women are not to be humiliated in such a manner and that all White male Doctors are to be replaced with Blacks/Hispanics/etc. Heart deseases are a made up tool by white supremacists anyway.