Skitzocow Taxman / Kyle Hawkins

[The Oddball from MLW]

Didn't he get dumped by his own hallucination girlfriend at one point? I mean if fake girlfriends cant stay loyal to you, what hope do fake bureaucrats have?

Or am I thinking of a different pony waifu lolcow.

As Lurker said, Rarity did 'dump' him, and he claimed that she essentially psychologically tortured him for a couple weeks. He however likely still has feelings for Rarity, or else he wouldn't have all that stuff of Rarity left out in the open.

 

[ZombieGaryOak]

Didn't he get dumped by his own hallucination girlfriend at one point? I mean if fake girlfriends cant stay loyal to you, what hope do fake bureaucrats have?

Or am I thinking of a different pony waifu lolcow.

As others have already said, he did indeed get dumped by Rarity. He also mentioned at one point that she acted in an abusive manner and even tried to take over his body. Initially when that was brought up I thought he was just saying it to justify no longer being in a fictional relationship with her because he was actually just tired of her and wanted to be in a relationship with a fictional guy instead. If that had been the case, it would still be him having some sort of control because he'd just be saying that to move on. If it wasn't, which is evidenced by the fact that he admits that he was the one who was wrong in the relationship and not saying Rarity was just jealous so he dumped her, then that suggests he genuinely believed that happened.

At this time I think he has most definitely degraded to the point where he does genuinely believe this, at least to an extent, even if he were sober (which he clearly doesn't like to be). It might also be that he has been past this point for a very long time (in the case that he did genuinely think the stuff with Rarity was real), but his ability to even remotely hide his behavior is dissolving when it comes to his online interactions and videos. The same also goes for his behavior at conventions too.

 

[AnOminous]

No, actually. He "cheated on Rarity" with another male human friend of his someplace, and things went to shit from there... I'm pretty sure.

He was actually sane enough at one point to get with a human? When was this?

 

[LurkerTheLurker]

He was actually sane enough at one point to get with a human? When was this?

It was with another ponylover, if I'm not mistaken. So...

 

[Count groudon]

Y'know I've been thinking. Say through some unlikely miracle he does end up in equestria, what exactly makes him think that he'll fit in there? I mean from what I remember the ponies were scared shitless by a zebra. Imagine how they'd react to a scrawny naked man drunk of his ass and tripping balls on cough syrup sprinting around yelling at people to tell him where curio is.

 

[ZombieGaryOak]

Y'know I've been thinking. Say through some unlikely miracle he does end up in equestria, what exactly makes him think that he'll fit in there? I mean from what I remember the ponies were scared shitless by a zebra. Imagine how they'd react to a scrawny naked man drunk of his ass and tripping balls on cough syrup sprinting around yelling at people to tell him where curio is.

He says that he'll have a new body that's a pony when he goes to Equestria. That's why he doesn't mind destroying the one he has now.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

Has he ever explained why another dimension filled with magic and all that shit can't open the portal from their end? I'm curious how much effort he's put into rationalizing all this shit. I wish someone would interview him in a non-confrontational way so we could see how air tight he's made this stuff without challenging him.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

Has he ever explained why another dimension filled with magic and all that shit can't open the portal from their end? I'm curious how much effort he's put into rationalizing all this shit. I wish someone would interview him in a non-confrontational way so we could see how air tight he's made this stuff without challenging him.

They could open a portal from their end... if they wanted him there. Which, as has already been pointed out, they don't. Paranoid racist alcoholic drug addicts don't make good citizens. And yeah, given that he's risked his life, his job, his relationships, and his home on a dangerous drug because he just couldn't stand to be sober, he's officially a drug addict at this point. (I still can't believe that no one called his mother and told her what Taxman was doing while he was on datura. Not complaining, mind you, just surprised.)

 

[I'm With Chris]

Another video made directly to us.

All questions as to legitimacy or accuracy answered by a single, confidential insider who started the thread.

People sperging on minutia in the video.

People crying to help some poor unfortunate.

People posting : "Not to powerlevel but..." (jezus christ, why???).

Horrible, shitty, scripted acting.

All that said - I really hate Bronies to the core of my soul. Taxman should stop drinking so heavily, especially because he's a schizo (powerlevel: I know many schizophrenics and alcohol can accelerates things - trust me I'm an expert),. I also know everything about hallucinogens and suicide so if you want my opinion, I'll be happy to sperg on that.

How much of fucking idiot does the above paragraph make me sound?

 

[2003]

Man, this thread is generating so much salt. Why does a thread having some resident white knights piss people off so much?

 

[AP 297]

Man, this thread is generating so much salt. Why does a thread having some resident white knights piss people off so much?

Simply because they are derailing the discussion, dropping unfunny long winded reports on their white knighting and in general ruining a thread for the rest of us.

If they were working behind the scenes most of us would not have a problem, but the fact is that they are running most of the thread and turning it into a suicide watch for a man who is trying to drug himself to equestria, who has had his own imaginary pony girlfriends dump him, and is a conspiracy nut to top it all off.

These threads are to catalog Lolcows. Right now nearly 2/3rds of this thread has now been used as Taxman's suicide prevention worry center. I think the discussion needs to be broadened.

 

[AnOminous]

Man, this thread is generating so much salt. Why does a thread having some resident white knights piss people off so much?

Because this is a really, really simple rule. And I'd like to see where this death spiral ends up without the thread being closed half the time.

• Don't White Knight. Don't turn threads with people of interest into an intervention. You are not their protector. If you want to help, contact them privately.

 

[AnimuGinger]

Man, this thread is generating so much salt. Why does a thread having some resident white knights piss people off so much?

Gets kinda annoying when every other post is "OH EM GEE HE'S GONNA KILL HIMSELF I WILL SAVE PONY SENPAI!"

I'd almost take eternal shitposting over that...

 

[Chan the Wizard]

The only good brony is a dead brony.

 

[tehfolder]

If he believes in multiple dimensions where everything we imagine actually exists, wouldn't that mean that there will be both a dimension where a version of his bf exists that forgives him and one where he doesn't? He could also find a version of rawrity that is not abusive. The possibilitys are endless. This is an amazing loop hole he should exploit.

 

[Platypus]

I'm not sure how he expects to make friends (or underlings) if he can't even keep a promise to an imaginary gay pony. Taxman is a pretty typical lolcow in the sense that he thinks that everyone else causes his problems (Jews, immigrants, etc.), and is completely unwilling to take responsibility for his actions, even when he knows they "hurt" other people (fake ponies, whatever). Most telling is how he expects whatever friend it was and his pony lover to forgive him for breaking a simple promise.

Really he reminds me of Pixyteri, just replace kawaii shit with pony shit/booze, and becoming a kawaii idoru with becoming a cartoon character.

 

[I'm With Chris]

What's his real name again?

 

[GRANDAD]

lets get into some lame pony shit for a minute. lets say tax does prove everyone wrong and open a portal to equestria. what does he think is gonna happen when he goes there? he already had a weird relationship with rarity and she dumped him, so thats gonna lead to some really awkward pony booze parties when they show up at the same place and they dont wanna talk about it

 

[The Oddball from MLW]

What's his real name again?

He has openly revealed his first name is Kyle, and his last name is Hawkins.

 

[Massif]

It has already been said, multiple times, in near identical posts, that white knighting/power leveling isn't desired. In fact the thread was locked and two large posts expressing the opinion of the mods to this effect were made. There hasn't been a post like that in a while, and when there is they get threadbanned or vow to leave, what exactly is continued voicing of that same opinion accomplishing except hoping for ebin upboats and shitting up the thread more?

lets get into some lame pony shit for a minute. lets say tax does prove everyone wrong and open a portal to equestria. what does he think is gonna happen when he goes there? he already had a weird relationship with rarity and she dumped him, so thats gonna lead to some really awkward pony booze parties when they show up at the same place and they dont wanna talk about it

I think he's at a point where he will take anything over reality, which presumably also is why he can't stand to be sober.
Not that the paranoid, delusional world he seems to inhabit currently is what we would call reality either.