- Joined
- Feb 14, 2013
Portalanon said:
As if it wasn't already obvious Portalanon was trolling.
Skitzocow Taxman / Kyle Hawkins
- Thread starter The Oddball from MLW
- Start date
As if it wasn't already obvious Portalanon was trolling.
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2015
Need a complicated subject to explain away gritty details of connecting yourself to a world invented by a cartoon that will cause most folks to gloss over and sound really smart and edgy? Quantum Mechanics!taxman bumped a months old thread.......
View attachment 49330
hhhhmmmmm i wonder what is so urgent?
I love how all this is going to just nonchalantly get pulled together by a couple of dudes who both (most likely as I don't know portalanon but I doubt he's a shining example of responsibility given his associations) live at home and fantasize about fucking cartoon ponies who they think are real in some otherverse. I've read it three times and I don't understand what the RSA key has to do with anything, not to mention just randomly picking up some Cesium and working with it in the manner he describes.
All in a rented "Experiment" room.
"Ayyy... mate. Lemmi get this room for a few hours so I can set up all this sensitive equipment including radioactive materials while my buddy here dances around with a plushie and is high as fuck on LSD!"
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2013
It's like he's trying to come up with a way to prove that such a thing is possible. He creates this key, they do their quantum mysticism voodoo with it because really this is a bunch of woo, and receives the results in plain text which if he can decrypt with the key this is somehow proof.
And the rest of it just makes no sense. It's almost like it's intentionally obtuse in order to hide the fact that he doesn't know what's happening. I'm almost reminded of a bit in Portal 2 where you get to one of the vitrified doors and hear a prerecorded message from Cave Johnson. "I'll admit we're throwing science at the wall and waiting to see what sticks". Or something like that. The stuff he's throwing around sounds almost like the technobabble you hear on Star Trek.
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2015
Maybe Taxman will be able to add radiation poisoning to his long list of issues. Although that'd mean he might lose that luscious ginger mane of his.
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- Dec 28, 2014
I still can't stop reading "CTB" as "catching the bus" from the old suicide groups.
This is going to end up like Heaven's Gate or Solar Temple.
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2015
I'm not certain, but perhaps that was just the name of the chat before Portalanon even got there. He doesn't strike me as a troll.
If only it were CBT, for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. That's what I wish it was.
This has become so utterly bizarre over the last several years. What has happened to this man?
Jin did the same thing, except when he molested the Theory of Relativity with BS math which even a high schooler who paid attention in algebra class could easily disprove in order to attempt to explain why his sock puppet is actually the soul of his girlfriend which so happens to be a purple cartoon unicorn whose life and home just so happened to be prophesied by Lauren Faust even though she was totally wrong about a few things that actually ended up in the show projecting her real soul with magic across time and space and possibly dimensions into the body of a plushie which cannot even move on its own and which for some reason can only talk to that one human even though she has a life as a princess in her original home and tremendous responsibility to her friends and family she's just giving up on a whim because she just so happens to like humans and just so happens to indulge in all of the obscure and often disgusting fetishes the human she met passionately enjoys for some totally non-contrived reason... deep breath, he was far more convoluted about it, and that ultimately resulted in his 'theories' holding about as much weight as air for more than the reason that they were absolutely freaking ridiculous. These whole portal ideas seem to be more obscure, at least to me, at this juncture, but that doesn't save them from being based on baseless assumptions, completely non-scientific, and utterly ridiculous.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
@LurkerTheLurker thank you for not banning me for lurking
- Joined
- May 30, 2014
This is going to end with one of them dissasembling a microwave or TV or something to build a space machine and electrocuting themselves on the latent charge remaining. Woe be to the EMS who has to take a charred coprse out from a room of jizz covered pony toys.
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- Mar 9, 2015
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2015
Heh. My moderation privileges have been revoked due to being an evil Jew wizard in cahoots with the Illuminati, apparently, but even if I were a mod the whole 'lurking = ban' thing is a joke anyway. I didn't call out Yaoi back when I was supposed to be "protecting the forum," even though I knew who she was.
I really hope that Fringe guy is just trolling. They sound completely insane.
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2015
Taxman:
With the Fall Equinox soon upon us, should we plan to make some sort of offer to Princess Celestia? As a Sun goddess, I imagine this would be a very important event for her, and since we want her favor so she will bless our CTB project, it would be foolish to neglect this solar holiday.
edit: Should we include Luna in this as well? After all, the thing about the Equinox is day and night are equal length, so it would make sense to honor her too.
With the Fall Equinox soon upon us, should we plan to make some sort of offer to Princess Celestia? As a Sun goddess, I imagine this would be a very important event for her, and since we want her favor so she will bless our CTB project, it would be foolish to neglect this solar holiday.
edit: Should we include Luna in this as well? After all, the thing about the Equinox is day and night are equal length, so it would make sense to honor her too.
It's never expressed explicitly in the show what Celestia and Luna are, other than being the princesses who rule over Equestria, but "goddesses" is an assumption some people in this community like to make for some reason. I imagine, in the hypothetical situation where this is completely serious, it would be disrespectful to Luna to forget her in one's first thoughts like that, especially when it's about an equinox, which obviously is a time of equality for day and night. And for that matter, honoring a deity for their favor surely comes with strings attached, assuming the deity is benevolent, not selfish, and the prayer has something to do with others the deity rules over. Even if Tax did gain the favor of two winged horned pony goddesses, wouldn't they still be reluctant to grant him anything on account of the fact that he's totally unhinged and would pose a threat to their people? Either way, I find this pretty funny.
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M
MY 405
Guest
kiwifarms.net
This is fantastic on a "Napoleon Dynamite" level of Internet time machine stupid.
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2015
>>>My comments are in blue.
Taxman:
As a Nationalist, I'm quite naturally opposed to mass, unrestrained immigration (both illegal and legal), open borders, and multiculturalism (although not necessarily multi-racialism, where different ethnic groups stick to themselves and avoid intermarrying or "enriching" the other), so it is natural that a great concern of mine is after we do manage to establish diplomatic ties with Equestria and open the portal, that the resultant contact with mankind does not wash-out or subvert the native culture.
>>>Tax is going to be our ambassador to an alien world of magical talking ponies, you guys. I think it's safe to say humankind's first impression upon them will be quite memorable.
Avoiding the nightmare of uncontrolled, illegal mass immigration like we see with the "migrant" or "refugee" crisis in Europe, or on the USA's southern border, is one of my deepest concerns. For our beloved Equestria to suffer the same fate as the civilized Western World on Earth would be a tragedy of titanic proportions.
>>>All humans are evil, after all, and converting to ponies (as Tax mentions later) clearly won't fix that. Even though it'll fix himself.
Therefore, I propose that not only do we continue to keep this project low profile, but when we do make contact with Equestria, we are very discreet about who we make privy to that knowledge. We must be HIGHLY selective when it comes to who we allow to cross over - blue pilled cucks, SJW maniacs, and cancerous "progressives" should never be allowed to set foot on Equestria, nor should any corporations or greedy plutocrats be allowed even the slightest chance to despoil this paradise. Brain-dead, iphone addicted, football watching proles of the type who make up the majority of sheeple would be excluded (they are hopelessly asleep and beyond saving), as would fedora tipping atheists: if they refuse to believe in the Truth of the Alicorn Goddesses or the existence of spirits and the multiverse, they have no place with us. Tulpamancers who believe it's "all in their head" or just a "mental trick", and not that their tulpas are actual beings summoned from another world in ethereal form, would be excluded too.
>>>Equestria can't reliably manage its own immigration issues, you see, so it's up to this stuttering druggie prophet of ponies to police who goes through. You know, because that's not biased, and only he has access to the drugs apparently necessary to cross over. Also, Lauren Faust is, if I'm not mistaken, a feminist and progressive.
On a personal note, NONE of the treasonous, back-stabbing former members of this forum, who now reside on Waifu Central, will be allowed to cross over, unless they prostrate themselves before me and beg for forgiveness. Even then I can't guarantee I'd grant them pardon, as merciful as I may be, these blackguards hurt me deeply, like a knife to the heart. Equestria does not need scoundrels like that crossing it's borders.
>>>"People hurt me on the internet! I blame them because I'm good and can do no wrong! Even though I'm giving up my life to cross over to this totally new one and begin anew, I'm still going to remain salty about something that should no longer matter!"
Back to topic: race and ethnicity of potential new citizens wouldn't matter too much I think, since the option to "convert" into a pony will be available, therefore making issues of race as it relates to mankind a moot point. So long as they are true believers and have a good heart, they could be allowed the chance to start anew. With our new pony bodies and pony partners and friends we have on the Other Side, assimilating will be much easier. Undoubtedly, our new country would provide services and classes to help as well, after all Equestria is a benevolent kingdom.
>>>Jesus. This is sounding like its own religion by this point. "Follow me and we shall enter the kingdom of Heaven together! Which just so happens to be a land of magical cartoon horses as prophesied by Hasbro. You must have a good heart and truly believe, and you shall have a new body and live happily in paradise!" What am I even supposed to say to that?
Pretty much what it comes down to, is I think the only people who should be allowed entry are those who belong to our group: those who have realized the truth of Ponies and believe in the Alicorn goddesses, and who contribute to our CTB project. Only the true believers who we and the Ponies have judged worthy will cross. There are just too many wicked people for us to risk making this public; too many who would do harm to Equestria, exploit it's citizens and resources; too many who are impure and simply unworthy of paradise. If you object to my strict standards, or would simply like to provide your own opinions, then please post below. I realize that not all of you may be as jaded or misanthropic as me, so for you optimists out there, now is the time to debate.
>>>"Humble yourselves before the Ponies, which are apparently capitalized, and grovel before them for their approval so that you too may ascend and become one with the Master Race." It's funny... I don't even have to be original with my jokes; just echoing what Taxman is saying is hilarious enough. Or possibly depressing, depending on how you look at this. To be completely honest, I don't know how I'd top this with humor. I like satire and sarcasm, but this is just... so beyond the point of delusion that any sarcasm I could come up with, at least right now, is utterly droll in comparison to what's actually being said.
Curio has personally assured me that I am already fast-tracked for Equestria's version of a green card, and I plan on taking the option to convert to a pony. I can't wait for the day when I wake in bed next to my handsome husband, stand up on four hooves and trot outside to breathe the glorious, fresh air and take in the mesmerizing vistas of the pristine Equestrian landscape... Soon, soon we shall have it.
>>>"I can't wait to be disappointed!" All of this is based on assumptions only affirmed by what is more than likely to be delusion, according to any semblance of logic. He's putting all his hope in this one thing, and you've gotta admit, the image of green fields and fresh air he paints sounds pretty nice, but there are two problems with that: The first is that he'll never get to see the Equestrian landscape, and the second is that we already have green fields and fresh air if you live in the right place. Some people just see despair here, but there's more to the world than meets the eyes. Its beauty is diverse, and one's preference is bound to exist somewhere, if you're not too out there or picky.
Fringe:
It has never been my intention to permanently relocate to Equestria. I only wish to study their magic, enjoy a brief holiday there and return, perhaps with a few souvenirs on top of the knowledge I will have gained.
>>>If anyone actually brings back souvenirs from Equestria, especially magical ones, the entirety of science and all that we know might just collapse. The likelihood of tested theories failing versus drugged-up assumptions however is practically non-existent.
Equestria's interdimensional borders must remain strong. I would personally refuse to allow someone to use any portal I had control over if I'd deemed them unsuited to Equestria. We also obviously have to acquiesce to any requests by the Equestrian authorities on matters regarding our relations.
>>>"If I'd deemed them unsuited," he says. Have you noticed that the opinions of those faithful few involved in this pointless project are what come into account on the matters of serious issues, and not political logic or sound, unbiased reasoning? They treat their opinions like facts.
Not only should we thoroughly screen all people who want to go, this information should be freely shared with our Equestrian counterparts so they can make a judgement too. Anyone who is unwilling to submit to these examinations should immediately be disqualified from further involvement with the project.
>>>"Because I'm right, always."
The point of keeping this information among trusted individuals only cannot be stressed enough. There are definite risks involved with this sort of thing, people have been killed for less. Despite the perceived silliness of the concept to most, this has probably already caught the attention of certain forces which are opposed to our ideals. They'll likely be monitoring all public communications about this. Keep any major developments off the grid.
>>>Yes, forces like the evil Jew wizards and the Illuminati. Hey, this might be off-topic, but I just heard that pigs have learned to construct basic catapults so they can learn to fly!
Taxman:
As a Nationalist, I'm quite naturally opposed to mass, unrestrained immigration (both illegal and legal), open borders, and multiculturalism (although not necessarily multi-racialism, where different ethnic groups stick to themselves and avoid intermarrying or "enriching" the other), so it is natural that a great concern of mine is after we do manage to establish diplomatic ties with Equestria and open the portal, that the resultant contact with mankind does not wash-out or subvert the native culture.
>>>Tax is going to be our ambassador to an alien world of magical talking ponies, you guys. I think it's safe to say humankind's first impression upon them will be quite memorable.
Avoiding the nightmare of uncontrolled, illegal mass immigration like we see with the "migrant" or "refugee" crisis in Europe, or on the USA's southern border, is one of my deepest concerns. For our beloved Equestria to suffer the same fate as the civilized Western World on Earth would be a tragedy of titanic proportions.
>>>All humans are evil, after all, and converting to ponies (as Tax mentions later) clearly won't fix that. Even though it'll fix himself.
Therefore, I propose that not only do we continue to keep this project low profile, but when we do make contact with Equestria, we are very discreet about who we make privy to that knowledge. We must be HIGHLY selective when it comes to who we allow to cross over - blue pilled cucks, SJW maniacs, and cancerous "progressives" should never be allowed to set foot on Equestria, nor should any corporations or greedy plutocrats be allowed even the slightest chance to despoil this paradise. Brain-dead, iphone addicted, football watching proles of the type who make up the majority of sheeple would be excluded (they are hopelessly asleep and beyond saving), as would fedora tipping atheists: if they refuse to believe in the Truth of the Alicorn Goddesses or the existence of spirits and the multiverse, they have no place with us. Tulpamancers who believe it's "all in their head" or just a "mental trick", and not that their tulpas are actual beings summoned from another world in ethereal form, would be excluded too.
>>>Equestria can't reliably manage its own immigration issues, you see, so it's up to this stuttering druggie prophet of ponies to police who goes through. You know, because that's not biased, and only he has access to the drugs apparently necessary to cross over. Also, Lauren Faust is, if I'm not mistaken, a feminist and progressive.
On a personal note, NONE of the treasonous, back-stabbing former members of this forum, who now reside on Waifu Central, will be allowed to cross over, unless they prostrate themselves before me and beg for forgiveness. Even then I can't guarantee I'd grant them pardon, as merciful as I may be, these blackguards hurt me deeply, like a knife to the heart. Equestria does not need scoundrels like that crossing it's borders.
>>>"People hurt me on the internet! I blame them because I'm good and can do no wrong! Even though I'm giving up my life to cross over to this totally new one and begin anew, I'm still going to remain salty about something that should no longer matter!"
Back to topic: race and ethnicity of potential new citizens wouldn't matter too much I think, since the option to "convert" into a pony will be available, therefore making issues of race as it relates to mankind a moot point. So long as they are true believers and have a good heart, they could be allowed the chance to start anew. With our new pony bodies and pony partners and friends we have on the Other Side, assimilating will be much easier. Undoubtedly, our new country would provide services and classes to help as well, after all Equestria is a benevolent kingdom.
>>>Jesus. This is sounding like its own religion by this point. "Follow me and we shall enter the kingdom of Heaven together! Which just so happens to be a land of magical cartoon horses as prophesied by Hasbro. You must have a good heart and truly believe, and you shall have a new body and live happily in paradise!" What am I even supposed to say to that?
Pretty much what it comes down to, is I think the only people who should be allowed entry are those who belong to our group: those who have realized the truth of Ponies and believe in the Alicorn goddesses, and who contribute to our CTB project. Only the true believers who we and the Ponies have judged worthy will cross. There are just too many wicked people for us to risk making this public; too many who would do harm to Equestria, exploit it's citizens and resources; too many who are impure and simply unworthy of paradise. If you object to my strict standards, or would simply like to provide your own opinions, then please post below. I realize that not all of you may be as jaded or misanthropic as me, so for you optimists out there, now is the time to debate.
>>>"Humble yourselves before the Ponies, which are apparently capitalized, and grovel before them for their approval so that you too may ascend and become one with the Master Race." It's funny... I don't even have to be original with my jokes; just echoing what Taxman is saying is hilarious enough. Or possibly depressing, depending on how you look at this. To be completely honest, I don't know how I'd top this with humor. I like satire and sarcasm, but this is just... so beyond the point of delusion that any sarcasm I could come up with, at least right now, is utterly droll in comparison to what's actually being said.
Curio has personally assured me that I am already fast-tracked for Equestria's version of a green card, and I plan on taking the option to convert to a pony. I can't wait for the day when I wake in bed next to my handsome husband, stand up on four hooves and trot outside to breathe the glorious, fresh air and take in the mesmerizing vistas of the pristine Equestrian landscape... Soon, soon we shall have it.
>>>"I can't wait to be disappointed!" All of this is based on assumptions only affirmed by what is more than likely to be delusion, according to any semblance of logic. He's putting all his hope in this one thing, and you've gotta admit, the image of green fields and fresh air he paints sounds pretty nice, but there are two problems with that: The first is that he'll never get to see the Equestrian landscape, and the second is that we already have green fields and fresh air if you live in the right place. Some people just see despair here, but there's more to the world than meets the eyes. Its beauty is diverse, and one's preference is bound to exist somewhere, if you're not too out there or picky.
Fringe:
It has never been my intention to permanently relocate to Equestria. I only wish to study their magic, enjoy a brief holiday there and return, perhaps with a few souvenirs on top of the knowledge I will have gained.
>>>If anyone actually brings back souvenirs from Equestria, especially magical ones, the entirety of science and all that we know might just collapse. The likelihood of tested theories failing versus drugged-up assumptions however is practically non-existent.
Equestria's interdimensional borders must remain strong. I would personally refuse to allow someone to use any portal I had control over if I'd deemed them unsuited to Equestria. We also obviously have to acquiesce to any requests by the Equestrian authorities on matters regarding our relations.
>>>"If I'd deemed them unsuited," he says. Have you noticed that the opinions of those faithful few involved in this pointless project are what come into account on the matters of serious issues, and not political logic or sound, unbiased reasoning? They treat their opinions like facts.
Not only should we thoroughly screen all people who want to go, this information should be freely shared with our Equestrian counterparts so they can make a judgement too. Anyone who is unwilling to submit to these examinations should immediately be disqualified from further involvement with the project.
>>>"Because I'm right, always."
The point of keeping this information among trusted individuals only cannot be stressed enough. There are definite risks involved with this sort of thing, people have been killed for less. Despite the perceived silliness of the concept to most, this has probably already caught the attention of certain forces which are opposed to our ideals. They'll likely be monitoring all public communications about this. Keep any major developments off the grid.
>>>Yes, forces like the evil Jew wizards and the Illuminati. Hey, this might be off-topic, but I just heard that pigs have learned to construct basic catapults so they can learn to fly!
Ahem.
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2013
someone needs to get taxman a compound, preferably in waco, so we can get the ball rolling on this david koresh angle
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2015
Tax has officially crossed from typical spiritual conspiracy theorist to an all out delusional maniac. I predict that his posts will eventually become more delusional and more disturbing as time goes on.
The saddest thing is that there are a lot of transdimensional loons out there, who hope to jump from the third to fifth dimension. They're about as racist and bigoted as Tax as well.
The saddest thing is that there are a lot of transdimensional loons out there, who hope to jump from the third to fifth dimension. They're about as racist and bigoted as Tax as well.
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2015
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2013
A part of me honestly does wish that we could somehow give Taxy and his friends all the resources he needs to find the Stargate to ponyland or whatever. Mostly so I can laugh my ass off when they're all stumbling around desperately trying to get into a world made up to sell toys to little girls.
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2015
I wonder what he's going to do about the zebras. You know, the different race and culture that lives harmoniously with the cartoon ponies. that sounds like it'd clash with Taxy's deep-rooted fear of skin tones darker than 'fish belly'
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- Apr 12, 2014
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- Aug 26, 2014