Had a sudden urge to look and see what replacing my current phone (Samsung A53) would be like. I've enjoyed the Samsung A series for a couple phones now because I hate the curved edges of the S series and honestly flagship phones have way more stuff in them than I'm ever going to use or care about.
Started using Samsungs after my favorite phone of all time was no longer supported/made and all of the examples I had died. That was the Blackberry Key series, especially the KeyOne Black edition, easily the best of them.
Look at this glorious thing:
Truly a great phone. Full android smartphone with a physical keyboard for those of us who remember and appreciate how great physical keyboards are. I found this guy after the haptic feedback on the HTC I had before it died and I realized how much virtual keyboards with no feedback sucked. If the Blackberry KeyOne BE was still supported and I had a functioning model I would happily keep using it.
Sadly that's not the case but I digress.
My A53 is also pretty great, and as of now its working perfectly. I have no need to replace it. However as a 2022 phone its starting to get on in years and that's always worrisome for modern technology. I also know that Samsung only tends to support their smartphones for like 4-5 generations of Android and then go to security only, which can be a good thing or a bad thing.
Anyway I continue to digress, the point of all this is that I was looking at new phones and this brought on two horrifying realizations.
The first is that these new phones are branded as "AI" Phones, and that's the most concerning. I do not trust AI, and I do not interact with it, I don't even like talking to my technology in general. I've never used any of those virtual assistant apps like Siri, Cortana, Bixby, etc. So I certainly do not want a fully AI integrated phone.
Second, they stopped including Micro SD slots. From a functionality standpoint this isn't the biggest deal per se. Most of these modern phones come with plenty of internal storage. Still, I do like having my collection of FLAC music and other things on the Micro SD.
All this to say they keep adding features I don't want and taking away features I like. If they keep doing this I'm going to end up going back to a dumbphone, but even that is annoying these days, especially when you've grown accustomed to having so many smartphone capabilities on hand.
EDIT: GOOD NEWS!
After more research I found a couple contenders for a future phone, though neither are without their drawbacks.
First up, the Unihertz Titan 2.

Pros:
Physical Keyboard
5G
Current Android
No AI
512GB storage
Headphone jack
$400
Unihertz is a proven company that makes phones.
Works with all US carriers.
Cons:
Large, unconventional shape
Harder to pocket
Isn't available til October
No MicroSD slot
No aftermarket options.
LCD screen
Second, the Zinwe Technologies Q25 Pro "ChinkBerry"

Pros:
It's a modernized BlackBerry Classic
Has a MicroSD
Also $400
It's a modernized BlackBerry Classic
Compatible with all BlackBerry Classic cases and such
Compact perfect phone size
ITS A FUCKING MODERNIZED FUCKING BLACKBERRY FUCKING CLASSIC
Cons:
Made by some unproven Chinese tech company no one has ever heard of
The first run of complete phones that are only just starting to ship this month are considered a "closed beta test"
Non-Zero chance of Chinese spyware
Only 4G
Android 14
Best they can say is that it should work with all US carriers, with some caveats like maybe needing to activate the sim on a different phone first, or even possibly requesting a whitelist
Between the two I am so tempted by the ChinkBerry it's not even funny. The idea of a smart blackberry classic is viscerally appealing to me, but there are just enough uncertainties to keep me from throwing $400 at them right now. Their website doesn't exactly inspire confidence either (
https://zinwa.cn/) but it is worth noting that they have plans to give the KeyOne and Passport the same modernization treatment. That said the Classic form factor is still the most appealing to me.
The Unihertz is definitely still a viable option. The weird size and lack of an SD slot are drawbacks though, especially with the lack of aftermarket stuff like cases. I'd be very worried about its width making it prone to bending in my pocket, if it can even fit comfortably at all. The SD slot is more of a minor inconvenience since it does have plenty of internal storage.
If I could combine the 5G connectivity and Unihertz reputation with everything else about the ChinkBerry I'd gladly pay double the $400 asking price for it.