Terrible "Based" Movie Reboot/Sequel/Remake Ideas - Let your inner Anti-SJW out...

Star Trek Terran Empire. It already exists as a concept and it wouldn't be any more offensive to the franchise than what they're currently doing.
 
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Friday the 13th: the witch hunt.

A women's empowerment retreat heads to the woods to hold a charity stream for Brianna wu, Anita sarkiseenian, and bell Delphine. Only problem they booked a cabin on the shores of camp crystal lake. And the killer of camp blood Jason has risen from the grave.

Bonus a remake of the double impalement from part 2 only it's essentially the sex scene from the last of us 2
 
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The Sonic the Hedgehog movie except Sonic is from a based planet where he came to Earth cause his mom wanted to save him from the echidnas who are all muslim refugees. Sonic decides to stand with the Police to fight against the Super Hardcore Liberal Doctor Robotnik who looks like Moviebob, and wants to capture Sonic due to his right wing beliefs to ensure he can end blue collar workers by replacing them all with underpaid illegal immigrants and robots. Sonic defeats Robotnik and sends him to a world run by hardcore Nazi's where Robotnik is forced to go on a diet for the rest of his life and become a Nazi soldier.
 
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"It's the Jews, Marty! Something's got to be done about the Jews!"

Back To The Future reboot. Biff is still an asshole, but his presence is a bitter necessity to stave off a future where Marty's kids are unemployable troons, and Mayor Goldie Wilson Jr. encourages "peaceful protests" in Hill Valley.
trump back to the future.jpg

Related material.
 
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Dom Cruise said:
Now would be the time to bring back the sex comedy ala Porky's, Animal House, My Tutor, Private Resort and American Pie where the female characters were usually just an excuse to have nudity* and everything revolved around male characters behaving badly.

To get into specifics since Porky's and Animal House were nostalgic look backs at high school life and college life in the 1950s and 1960s a reboot of these franchises could maybe be set in the 1980s, 1990s or even 2000s.

*usually these movies even back then would the one female character who wasn't just a sex object that was usually the love interest the protagonist would fall in love with after chasing other girls, but for the most part the female characters were just an excuse for eye candy.
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You joke but when I see angry teenage incels I think they need these type of teen movies to remind them that it's normal at that age.

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Silence of the lambs, but instead of making skin suits out of fat women Buffalo Bill wears a purple with cyan tips wig, programmer socks and a mini skirt which constantly flashes his polka dot panties; the women he kills are evil TERFs who complain about him entering in the woman's restroom, doing sports in the female division and entering lesbian bars. At the climax of the movie it's discovered he actually set himself on fire because all his tranny friends discovered 10 year old tweets of him saying the N word.
 
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DumbDude42 said:
the rise of skywalker, but the emperor wins, so at the end of the film all the characters except sheev are dead
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The Emperor does win.

It is arguable that Palatine has won more than any other single fictional villain in the history of fiction.

The the time of the end of the sequel Trilogy.

1. The Entire Skywalker Genetic line is dead.
2. His Genetic Progeny has completely supplanted itself in in place of Said Skywalker line.
3. Because of 1 and 2..His genetic line now inherits the ENTIRE LEGEND of the Skywalker family.
4. His actions using Snoke as a Proxy/Puppet caused the last living of his two major rivals to completely lose hope and give up on reviving the Jedi.
5. Turning Kylo to the Darkside and making him a Vader-stan will effectively erase Anakins Redemption from history.

and in a meta sense

6. Because of the Sequel Trilogy and Rey (his genetic line) Star wars as a franchise is effectively dead. His plots not only caused the downfall of his foes in universe..they have forever tainted Star Wars and caused an irreparable split int he cultural aspect of the Franchise.

This is why He is no longer just "The Emperor" or "Darth Sideous" he is forever to be known as BIG DADDY SHEEV.
 
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GHTD said:
The Room but everyone betrays Johnny by becoming Democrats.
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I'm fed up with this world!

Irrelevant said:
You joke but when I see angry teenage incels I think they need these type of teen movies to remind them that it's normal at that age.

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It's weird that the teen comedy movie genre has disappeared, isn't it? I can't think of any recent examples.
 
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Honka Honka Burning Love said:
The Emperor does win.

It is arguable that Palatine has won more than any other single fictional villain in the history of fiction.

The the time of the end of the sequel Trilogy.

1. The Entire Skywalker Genetic line is dead.
2. His Genetic Progeny has completely supplanted itself in in place of Said Skywalker line.
3. Because of 1 and 2..His genetic line now inherits the ENTIRE LEGEND of the Skywalker family.
4. His actions using Snoke as a Proxy/Puppet caused the last living of his two major rivals to completely lose hope and give up on reviving the Jedi.
5. Turning Kylo to the Darkside and making him a Vader-stan will effectively erase Anakins Redemption from history.

and in a meta sense

6. Because of the Sequel Trilogy and Rey (his genetic line) Star wars as a franchise is effectively dead. His plots not only caused the downfall of his foes in universe..they have forever tainted Star Wars and caused an irreparable split int he cultural aspect of the Franchise.

This is why He is no longer just "The Emperor" or "Darth Sideous" he is forever to be known as BIG DADDY SHEEV.
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To be fair to OP, I’m pretty sure he meant “dominates the galaxy” and wasn’t thinking in terms of biological essentialism.
 
Lensherr said:
To be fair to OP, I’m pretty sure he meant “dominates the galaxy” and wasn’t thinking in terms of biological essentialism.
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Yeah but is there really anything more dominant than dragging your Sith Ballsack over the entire galaxy for the rest of time?
 
Chalk Zone but it's set in CHAZ. Rudy and Penny use magic chalk to navigate their violent neighborhood and lure rioters into personal quarantine chalk zones/cells. The police can't help, so it's up to these plucky schoolchildren to save their once prosperous town. The BLM "murals" come alive and are enemies they have to fight.
 
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12 Days a Slave of Ottoman.

Same film, basically, but it's an Eastern European women forced into slavery by vile, one-note Ottomans who seem less interested in actually having sex with her and more interested in torture-porn.
 
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Brokeback Ottoman.

It's Lawrence of Arabia but he's being a manwhore taking in the ass, as he historically did. It wasn't considered gay if you were the one "giving" the fucking.
 
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