Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[BIG DADDY]

Who do you think took more side dick during their marriage? I’d guess Nick but wouldn’t put money on it

 

[Miss Misery]

Also she wasn't driving, must be her new love interest (e:- feeder, he bought her a cake ffs) or something since she didn't tag anyone.

Ahhh that makes sense... except...

Why the fuck is the video flipped horizontally; Tess is in the passenger seat but is on the right side of the screen?

And if they're driving north in the morning then why is the light coming from the wrong side?

Edit: I don't use my phone for videos usually, but I just did a test with the rear and front facing cameras and in neither video did they flip... but as I said, I'm a video ignoramus.

 

[blue gopher snakes]

She posted the exact same thing to her public figure Facebook, which she almost never uses.
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She must have decided that nick won't fight back at all and release the copious receipts he has on her, including all the cheating and nasty feeder nudes.

And of COURSE it's all Nick's fault she burned through her 15 minutes, lost her agency, and gained almost 300 pounds since being signed in late 2014. And it's his fault no one wants to hire her, sill, 18 months after he left. Sure, Ryann. Keep telling yourself that.

Ryann won't ever speak to specific instances of the abuse she claims led to her being "covered in blood" because none of it happened. Two narcissists behaving badly at one another is not "intimate partner violence". The way she shamelessly groups herself with people *murdered by their significant other* is especially galling when you remember that, for her, Nick finally deciding that his ham-beard wife had eaten herself to the point of being so unfuckable he'd rather leave the whole ass country than live in the same zip code as her is "abusive."

That's not abuse, Tess "Holliday", that's narcissistic injury. That's "Oh YEAH?? You can't fire me, cuz I QUIT."

Also, once again, Mawm of the Fucking Year over here doesn't even spare a thought for her poor sons who presumably witnessed all this horrific abuse. She manages to mourn her career, her friends, and her finances without ever once mentioning the fact that she had two children living in the home during the period in which this abuse took place. One of whom was a helpless little infant. I'm lazy and won't cite my sources but I have read that childhood abuse and trauma change the structure of a developing brain, and can lead to behavioral or learning issues later down the road. You'd think a mother who was so superlatively loving and supportive of her children that she ended up on a goddamn magazine for parents would take a moment to acknowledge that she wasn't the only victim of Nick's alleged abuse, even if said ALLEGED abuse was never directed at a child. From this post, someone unfamiliar with Tess wouldn't even know she HAD children at all.

Rylee, if ever you read this: your mother is not equipped to provide what you, as her child, were entitled to when you were brought into this world. She's not a whole person. Keep your grades up and set yourself up for success. A life well-lived is its own best revenge and you deserve a healthy portion of revenge after the shit you've been through.

 

[gay frogs]

Ahhh that makes sense... except...

Why the fuck is the video flipped horizontally; Tess is in the passenger seat but is on the right side of the screen?

And if they're driving north in the morning then why is the light coming from the wrong side?

Edit: I don't use my phone for videos usually, but I just did a test with the rear and front facing cameras and in neither video did they flip... but as I said, I'm a video ignoramus.

My old phone flips the image but my new one doesn't.

 

[Miss Misery]

My old phone flips the image but my new one doesn't.

But like... if the phone flipped the image then the light would still be coming from the wrong side.

Unless she's posting videos she took yesterday afternoon, which is entirely possible.

 

[There_is_no_Dana]

Oh I know this trick, she's trying to get Nick to engage with her somehow, so she's saying all this awful shit hoping he'll acknowledge her by defending himself. I hope he doesn't, it's hilarious watching her flail.

 

[rocknrollmartian]

Nick on Tess's "reactive" parenting (and Nick is giving the same "bored and ignored" treatment to toxic Tess now):


Nick says Bowie chose his hair color, so maybe they're at least video chatting semi-regularly (I hope)?


Sounds like he wants to return to LA sometime, but that is obviously impossible given his complete lack of money, ambition, education, and skills:


I find it very hard to believe that this sad sack beta was abusive toward Tess. Why would he try to sabotage her career/income when he was a penniless leech? He is mopey, directionless, and immature, a 16-year-old in a 36-year-old's "nonbinary" body.

 

[Trombonista]

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Okay now I am convinced she is just trolling us.
View attachment 1885271

I dont know how to post this video so I just took a screencap, but she is DRIVING and filming herself thrashing and dancing around in the car. What the actual fuck.

How much fucking cake does she need?

 

[multiverse]

How much fucking cake does she need?

All of it. And all of yours. And all of everyone else's. And all future cakes that any previously mentioned parties may receive.

She's a fat, greedy, bottomless void for attention and sweets, like an eternity of the worst moment any toddler has ever had, just stretching on forever.

 

[Constellationzero]

All of it. And all of yours. And all of everyone else's. And all future cakes that any previously mentioned parties may receive.

She's a fat, greedy, bottomless void for attention and sweets, like an eternity of the worst moment any toddler has ever had, just stretching on forever.

Cake reparations. Just the thing to keep the Stay Pufft Photoshop Blowfish on the Betty Crocker happy funtime love and tolerance plantation.

 

[Water-T]

How much fucking cake does she need?

X + 1

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Holy shit, she's blaming Nick for the downfall of her career? Unless Nick is a feeder (plausible) he is partly to blame sure. But really, bitch?! Was he also responsible for the shit you pulled before you guys even knew eachother?

And yes, keeping up appearances is a thing, but she vague posting about abuse, when the other person has no way of defending himself is low even for her. This is attention seeking bullshit. She's hoping that some magazine, ANY magazine would jump on the story of the successful suppah moddle who had her career destroyed by the evil husbando. As said before, I can see Nick being an asshole, but Ryann is a lying liar and I do not believe she can blame anybody but herself for her failing career.

And fuck this bitch for making me so angry.

 

[Easy Peasy]

Spill. The. Tea. Nick.

And as long as hes working, hes still contributing more to society than Tess. The bar is on the ground, but good cracking, mate

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Nick may be under advisement from an attorney not to say anything about the marriage. Tess’s vagaries means she doesn’t have shit. Tubby Tess making him sound more cartoonishly villainous is just her putting her fat head into a pretty tight noose. If everything she says is maudlin and fictitious, then people are going to have a hard time sussing out truth from fiction, which is not going to be good for her. I think she’s wanting some bombastic divorce that gets her fawning coverage and a potential restart to her career so she doesn’t have to live off of feeders anymore. Tess is so dumb though that she never considers why he’s not saying anything which could be a sign that she’s waddling into a trap but she can’t help but oink and babble.

 

[DelicateMageflower]

Tess considers Nick abusive because he's not the millionaire businessman SHE puffed him up to be, allowing her to live the luxurious life she thinks she deserves. She ended up having to support him, and to a narc like Tess, that's the height of abuse. And he shackled her with a kid, to boot.

 

[CobraPlissken]

I can believe he was abusive — he was admittedly an alcoholic, and Tess outed him as suffering from BPD (borderline personality disorder), neither of these diagnoses are signs of having regulated emotions and careful attitudes — but not that Tess was the poor victim, or that he was responsible for losing friends or for the downfall of her career.

That happened solely because she's an ungrateful and unprofessional cunt, which she was before her relationship with Nick and still is now he's gone. The outcome would be the same even if she stayed single or married an actual millionaire who wasn't a mentally ill alkie.

 

[Poop Shoot]

With people like Tess, "abusive" can mean "he yelled at me and called me a pig after I said he had a shrimp dick".

So yeah, I can absolutely believe there was cat fighting going on between the two, but she is no wilting flower and likely instigated as well as enthusiasticlly participated.

 

[blue gopher snakes]

Nick on Tess's "reactive" parenting (and Nick is giving the same "bored and ignored" treatment to toxic Tess now):

If Nick isn’t rewriting his own parenting decisions, this is actually pretty alright. He is demonstrating that he can inhibit emotional responses with proper motivation (i.e. discouraging Bowie from engaging in an unwanted behavior), and also demonstrating that he understands that toddlers act out and hit because of something they need (i.e. attention, autonomy, more time to develop emotional regulation) rather than saying Bowie was BAD for hitting.

Perhaps he does have BPD, and he certainly isn’t a rich and famous supah moddle, but so far I’m still of the mind that he would be the more beneficial parent for Bowie even considering the blue hair and gender nonsense. If he also had professional (counseling or therapy for BPD as well as any necessary treatment for drinking issues) and family support in raising his son, he might actually be far more successful than Tess.

Nick says Bowie chose his hair color, so maybe they're at least video chatting semi-regularly (I hope)?

This is why he hasn’t come forward with proof of his innocence when Tess accuses him of spousal abuse. She’s the gatekeeper to his son. As satisfying as it would be for Nick to TKO Tess when she larps as a battered woman, he can’t do that when she’s the one answering Nick’s FaceTime calls with his own son. His relationship with his child is being held hostage. Maybe when COVID is over and Nick can get back to LA and deal with custody issues, we’ll see tea spillage. But I think he’s got people in his corner telling him to keep his mouth SHUT and that is GOOD advice from them.

Sounds like he wants to return to LA sometime, but that is obviously impossible given his complete lack of money, ambition, education, and skills:

I really hope his family guides him through this custody shit because Bowie NEEDS a parent in his corner. It sucks that he’s stuck in Australia but he didn’t know a pandemic was coming. Maybe he went home to dry out and recalibrate with the full intention of returning for Bowie, only to end up trapped by circumstances out of his control.

I still don’t want to hang out with the guy but I hope he gets this figured out and gets Bowie OUT.

 

[theriddler3]

I can believe he was abusive — he was admittedly an alcoholic, and Tess outed him as suffering from BPD (borderline personality disorder), neither of these diagnoses are signs of having regulated emotions and careful attitudes — but not that Tess was the poor victim, or that he was responsible for losing friends or for the downfall of her career.

That happened solely because she's an ungrateful and unprofessional cunt, which she was before her relationship with Nick and still is now he's gone. The outcome would be the same even if she stayed single or married an actual millionaire who wasn't a mentally ill alkie.

Still, though, an alcoholic with BPD keeping their mouth shut about things that piss them off is a big deal. As @blue gopher snakes said, he's probably trying to keep seeing his kid as well as building a case against her once he has the means to fight her in court.

 

[Internet's Boyfriend]

Ryann won't ever speak to specific instances of the abuse she claims led to her being "covered in blood" because none of it happened.

I don't think she meant that literally. Her whole overdramatic screed was written with the purpose of invoking certain imagery.

"Covered in blood", "claw my way out and feel the sun kissing my skin", "It doesn't matter how powerful you are" - she's trying to make it look like she was some super strong, super cool woman who got seduced into a relationship with some guy who then proceeded to whittle away at her strength and confidence. Maybe she even thought she'd die like that, weak, broken, a shell of her former self. But one day she looked inside herself and found the strength to go on, to fight against this evil man no matter what it took. Yeah she did some unsavory things, got her hands maybe a little too dirty but in the end she was free, standing in the sun and ready to rebuild her life. How inspiring.

Shit like this is why I'm immediately distrustful of people who come out about being abused. Like I get it, it's a shitty thing to endure and maybe waxing poetic helps them deal with it. But nowadays when all that matters is attention, everyone's got an abuse story full of metaphors about how the abuser took everything from them but they got out and now the sun is kissing their skin and the cool breeze is gently whipping their hair around their face and they're looking into the distance smiling like it's the final shot of some oscar bait movie.