Wednesday recap: Minecraft was fun until some douche spawned too much TNT, essentially devastating Fort Knight (Should've backed up pre-event server and rolled back after the damage because the event was going to involve the potential for Fort Knight to blow up, but oh well). Then I had lag concerning my CPU with a couple other stream attempts, and the last 2 hours were mostly waiting and figuring out new menus that I've never seen before, bumbling around. And finally, I was thrust into a new set of Yu-Gi-Oh with new rules I have never had to deal with, with a starter deck and everything. Yes, I know tonight was quite boring later on, but I have no idea how I could've improved upon that given several minutes of loading time, server-to-server in G-Mod with too many errors to count, and the multiplayer in the new Yu-Gi-Oh was bugging my abilities to link up. On top of all that, chat was quite hostile towards me. And the chat likes finding ways to talk about the scumbags of the internet, people I have no affiliation with. I would like this to stop.
Super short version of the recap: First half was nice, but second half went seriously sour and never recovered.
For further reading about the problems of chat, go here:
http://tompreston.deviantart.com/journal/Why-Bother-A-Moral-Choice-for-Young-Artists-478384337 As some of the grievances from this journal do overlap with mine. But my take is not that the best thing to do is give up. MY take is that the "audience" is collectively a heap of scum. Of course, I could be flaming wrong, but this is how I emotionally feel. And this is why I can no longer promise any future streams.
Guys, please, stop beating up on me. It was not just one person, either. It was like a gang of usernames all bad-mouthing everything I tried to do. I should've just banned them all, but I thought that would be too cruel. Friends and fans do NOT talk so violently about who they're here to see. Friendly critique, sure, but bringing up trash simply grinds my gears. And even when I express my annoyance, the gang acts like my annoyance is a sin. This attitude of yours has to stop. Explicitly, no Deagle clans, no Chris-retards, no rubbing animals in my face, Nada! Just flat out, stop! Please! If not, Phil Fish was right: everyone's out to attack the high-profile, including alleged fans. And as reflected in my performance, this is making me angry. If there was nothing *to* be annoyed about, this would not be a problem. In addition, a lot of the questions were worded in a way that was slanted to make me look bad, no matter how I handled them. What annoyed me the most was how everyone kept going on about some "Silver Paladin". Even if this exists in the same way I do, it seems to have been clearly spun off of me but existed solely to become my bane. At least, that's my side of the story, which is clearly going to be one-sided.
Maybe I'm misinterpreting what transpired in chat, and maybe I should just never again pay attention to chat and simply enjoy full-screen games. I also found it hard to comment on games as I played them by myself. I'm usually the type who quietly enjoys the game experience, allowing myself to become immersed in both the environments as well as plotting what to do in those worlds.
Enjoy the show or don't. Either way, don't shoot the piano-player. All I know is, all these points compounded have bugged the bejebus out of me and I have no clue how to best handle this emotional disturbance.
For Saturday's marathon, we have some games coming up; from Freddy hanging out to
Long Live the Queen, and maybe get some Civilization 5 if my computer won't die. That's assuming I'll stream at all. Given tonight's reception, I am beginning to feel sick of putting up with the annoying and bothersome people in the chat. Even if they're as innocent as I am, it still makes me feel bad, and that completely ruins whatever fun I'm having - and it shows. Maybe I *should* get a moderator to handle all chat for me, but again, it has to be someone dependable and proven to be trustworthy. There aren't any people like that.
