Orbiter The Amberlynn Reid Show Supporting Cast - Because, like any giant planet, she has a lot of orbiters.

Rickie. Honey.

Leave.
And move to Lexington.

Because, for as much as we shit on Eric, in small town Kentucky, he's up there in terms of the best Rickie can do. Rickie's reality as a gay man in a redneck town could be a depressing string of obese "straight" men getting slob jobs in a cruisy park or heroin addicts or closeted boyfriends whose family and friends he can never meet.

Rickie has a husband who is only addicted to hair gel, they made a nice home (pre-AL) with their pets and best gal pal, they like doing the same boring shit like cooking and watching movies. If he thinks that Eric's bland yet annoying personality is a fair trade for a nice domestic life when the alternative is depressing as fuck, I won't judge. We all settle a little in the end.
 
oh wow her arm.. it's like a funhouse mirror
Visually, it really is like a funhouse mirror. Then the dawning horror hits you that it's real life.

Seriously, everyone stand up straight with your arms hanging down by your sides. As a short human being, my arms are not long but when standing straight with my arms relaxed at my sides, my finger tips extend down about 3 to 4 inches past the widest part of my hips. I suspect this is the case for most women, even women who are overweight or class one obese. Even getting into morbid obesity territory, and arms still extend down past their hip bones.

In this photo it is clear that Amber has so much fat in her arms and her torso that her arms do not extend much past her waist. She might, if she strains, be able to stretch them down to the very top of where her pelvis begins. Her body has reduced her arm span in this regard by six inches to a foot. Seated she could never reach her feet to put on socks or to cut her toenails because reaching in front of all that bulk is even harder..

Okay, here's where it gets gross but it's not like you couldn't see where it was going. With her massive flesh apron in the front, and her massive shelf ass in the back, there is zero way she can perform the most basic toilet and menstrual hygiene if her arms do not extend much past her waist. I honestly cannot determine how she would be able to clean under her apron in a shower. I guess she could grab the very side of the top of the roll and sort of pull the whole of it up like raising an old fashioned roman blind, but even then all she could do would be to rinse with a hand held shower attachment, unless she has access to an array of bariatric shower equipment, like all the "rags on a stick" that are marketed to those who eat their way out of basic hygiene movements.

@ADHD, you asked last week if Amber could take a shower in under fifteen minutes? The question came from wondering if she could stand for 15 minutes to shower because she was complaining about how hard it was for her to stand in the waiting room that had no chairs she could fit into. If she had trouble standing that long, could she possibly stand long enough to sanitize her carcass. I said it was possible but I now retract that statement. With those little stubby arms that cannot reach under the front of her apron, she'd be in a shower for quite a while unless she had help and since she gets stuck in the fucking shower and has to be hauled out, it's not like Becky can squeeze in there and help her. She would be in there for a very long time, especially since she cannot sit on a bench in the tiny shower.

There's no debate anymore. This picture has proven the impossibility of her maintaining her hygiene in the most basic ways without lots of bizarre and, frankly, disturbing equipment. Becky can help her on the toilet but unless Amber is using the boys' shower and Becky is cleaning her there, too, she's not showering daily and when she does she's mostly just rinsing off the outermost portions of all those roles.

Yet again, Kermit has provided us with graphic illustration of how bad shit is for Amber. Used to be just sly shots of her bloated hooves but he's getting bolder. He may be a llama-haired mumbling rent boy but he does deliver the content gold from time to time and this time he's shown without any shadow of a doubt that Amber stinks and requires as much help in the bathroom as a toddler being toilet trained.
 
All of these references are incredible. The hooves , the bolder photos, etc . I'm most interested in the video of Erics with Amber screaming at Becky .

I feel as if this thread alone is wiki-worthy . So much information and no easy index.
 
]Eric uploaded Perparing For New Years..

Recap
•Going to Dollar General to get New Year’s Stuff ( Him being cheap as always)
•See’s a dog walking around a shopping center ( doesn’t do anything , just points it out and drives off)
• Trying to be funny as usual but fails
• Him and his sister cooking some strawberry cake ( boxed cake , again theme of being cheap )
• Getting marinated cheese ( great for someone who just had gallbladder surgery)

Amber and Becky don’t appear in this one. Amber probably in her room stuffing her face after announcing her ‘'break’’
And Becky is out doing errands as usual...
 
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]Eric uploaded Perparing For New Years..

Recap
•Going to Dollar General to get New Year’s Stuff ( Him being cheap as always)
•See’s a dog walking around a shopping center ( doesn’t do anything , just points it out and drives off)
• Trying to be funny as usual but fails
• Him and his sister cooking some strawberry cake ( boxed cake , again theme of being cheap )
• Getting marinated cheese ( great for someone who just had gallbladder surgery)

Amber and Becky don’t appear in this one. Amber probably in her room stuffing her face after announcing her ‘'break’’
And Becky is out doing errands as usual...

"...and, like, red, um, the red colour, um, the red food colour is optional, so you don't have to add that to it ... you don't have to, it said it was optional in the recipe".

Talk about averting a faux pas, I have a presentation at work and in the slides I used the word 'optional' thinking it meant 'compulsory', and this video came along just in time for me to tidy up that final draft!
 
]Eric uploaded Perparing For New Years..

Recap
•Going to Dollar General to get New Year’s Stuff ( Him being cheap as always)
•See’s a dog walking around a shopping center ( doesn’t do anything , just points it out and drives off)
• Trying to be funny as usual but fails
• Him and his sister cooking some strawberry cake ( boxed cake , again theme of being cheap )
• Getting marinated cheese ( great for someone who just had gallbladder surgery)

Amber and Becky don’t appear in this one. Amber probably in her room stuffing her face after announcing her ‘'break’’
And Becky is out doing errands as usual...
Where is Becky?! She seems to put on these mysterious errands often lately. Often they are soooper secret with the feel of AL’s government job. I can’t even speculate on where these secret errands are all to. They can’t ALL be food runs, can they? I am seriously puzzled by this.

Where ya always off to Becky?
 
So Mumbles is still at his sister's.....poor girl.

And---sure Big Al can wipe her own ass....just not with toilet paper. My guess is she straddles a bath towel and just, er..."flosses" her cracks. Sure, it means a lot more (disgusting) laundry for the Thumb; but hey, what are Thumbs for????

(My humblest apologies for the visual)
 
So Mumbles is still at his sister's.....poor girl.

And---sure Big Al can wipe her own ass....just not with toilet paper. My guess is she straddles a bath towel and just, er..."flosses" her cracks. Sure, it means a lot more (disgusting) laundry for the Thumb; but hey, what are Thumbs for????

(My humblest apologies for the visual)
She just shimmies herself up against the wall corner and shakes/claps her ass on it.
 
"You can tell he painted it because it doesn't line up" *zooms in on a minor flaw*

Oh, you prick. It's a LOT better than you could do. So much condescending, side-snark from a useless fucking tit.

"He's 8 years old now and but life expectancy is 10."

Wow. Seriously?

I'm glad someone else caught that. This hick dickfuck isn't even capable of brushing his own hair, yet he snarks at someone else's painting they made for their WIFE for their ANNIVERSARY. Like, its not supposed to hang in a museum, its a heartfelt gift and if the recipient likes it thats all that matters, :hillary:
 
I'm glad someone else caught that. This hick dickfuck isn't even capable of brushing his own hair, yet he snarks at someone else's painting they made for their WIFE for their ANNIVERSARY. Like, its not supposed to hang in a museum, its a heartfelt gift and if the recipient likes it thats all that matters, :hillary:

It was a nice painting tbh. I'd have loved to get it. And I didn't even notice the hearts didn't line up until he zoomed in on it. I refuse to believe that someone who appeara fairly intelligent like Eric's sister fails to catch his snark.
 
Because most of the time cows are loathsome child-neglecting/abusing assholes at worst, or at best some variation of stage parent forcing their kid to perform or exploiting their talent/gender identity/sexual orientation/illness/nascent talent for person gain, Kermit's sister's child's life is refreshing in comparison. Again, these are not people who have a lot of money but Kai's room is well-stocked with age-appropriate toys, is reasonably tidy given the number of toys he has, and thought and care went into decorating it. I'm sure the "art museum" is some sort of Pinterest idea but it's still clever and permits a rotation of various art projects that give Kai the sense that his parents both encourage his drawings and are proud of his efforts. His name is on the wall, emphasizing that this is the kid's personal space.

I'm also touched by the visual demonstration of how much the sister and her husband clearly care deeply about one another. The heart painting, the framed photos of kisses, the pic of them holding Kai as a baby, thrilled and full of love. It's so weird here to see parents putting forth an effort in a caring way that I find myself wondering what Eric's sister is hiding, like a dog fighting ring or gross swinger parties, because no one here could possibly not be an asshole. But it's mostly nice to see parents who are not in any way like Onision and Lainey, the Schofields, Gwen Hartley, Raven, Cecily Kellogg, or those cretins who made their kids fight on camera.
 
The thing is his sister instead spending time with her husband for New Years. Eric as usual is being selfish , crashing his weekend , dragging his wife along for errands . Eric’s sister obviously doesn’t wanna be on camera as she looks uncomfortable whenever she shows her on camera .But it seems like Eric wants to go to his sisters house any chance he gets . Jesus Eric do you not think your sisters husband gets sick of you crashing all of his weekends every time.
 
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