The Awkward/Shitty Restaurant Experience Thread!

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Uncanny Valley said:
Why do the worst people reproduce the most?
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She's a republican from Texas who stock piled water and food for when Jade Helm was happening. She is utterly insane. She also collects disability, her husband gets welfare, they get food stamps, and live in a McMansion they bought with the settlement money from asbestos not being disclosed in the report. You know, instead of getting a nice mid range house and pulling the rest aside for their children education
 
When I was younger, like seven or so, I went to a Chinese restaurant with the family. They'd left a few rags on the table for us to use since they didn't have napkins. This wasn't me assuming, they told us that. They were wet, but I thought it was water. So I used them to wipe my face. Normal, right?

Things went fine, until suddenly my face started reacting. It was burning and itching and turning redder by the second. Finally we asked the staff about it, and then they very simply told us what was on the rags.

It was fucking bleach.
 
littlebiscuits said:
I've posted this here before but it's awesome so:

Slow day at work, so I was browsing the kiwi farms and giggling over my fav cows; customer finally comes to my bar and me, being the airhead that I am, asks him if he would like more or less autism in his martini.

Olives.

I meant to say olives.

He saw no humor in the situation at all, and I did not get a tip.
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THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! :')
 
I recently visited my hometown and the Taco Bell me and my former hetero lifemate is exactly the same, shit. You can be the only person in line and they will take twenty minutes to make your food, the kitchen is *right there* just feet away so you can see the maudlinly obese workers just fuck around and yell two inches away from each other.
Me and my bud both worked across the street so we went out of convenience instead of the even more horrible Burger King which usually had a crazy illegal guy with a hammer who would threaten men if they had their girlfriend with them, he was taking that bitch away from them by force.

One fine day we waited 15 minutes and my boy just launched his Diet Pepsi straight against the wall behind the register like a fastball pitch, it was beautiful, I could imagine the music from “2001: A space odyssey” as the cup soared majestically towards the passed inspection certificate. Still, the crew didn’t react.

Corporate sent us both gift cards, which we used at a marginally better location.
 
I know I have worse experiences, but this is the one that immediately came to mind.

Once went into a Chinese restaurant to order takeout with my mom. Just before we took our order, we noticed a cockroach walking around the counter. The guy taking our order noticed us staring at the roach. He smashed it with his palm. We told him "yeah we good" and got pizza instead
 
"Hello, I'd like to make a reservation for 7pm this Friday, table for four."
"Yes, we can make that reservation, but we can't make a table available on the night."
"So I can't have a reservation?"
"Yes, you can have a reservation, but you can't book a table."
"Then that's not a reservation then, is it?"
"Yes it is."
"What am I reserving?"
"Friday nights are very busy."
"I know, that's why I'm trying to make a reservation."

Still confuses me to this day. Just say you don't do reservations on Friday nights.
 
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