0:00 “Hey guise!” Fuck me.
0:04 “So here’s a little disclaimer. I look like a hot mess.” And this is different how?
0:08-0:17 Now it’s back and forth as Necky and AL try to outdo one another in the ‘I look so shitty’ conversation. This is fucking riveting.
0:30 Oh, she challenged people to be creative with their relationship questions on Instagram, then says “We’ll see if you guys can be creative or not.” Bitch, don’t behave like you’re not filtering through these questions and picking only the ones you like.
F….. let’s just get to the questions.
Q: Would you kill for each other?
B: “Yeah.” (Amber looks horrified) She now discusses how she wanted to rage mode against the Walmart lady.
A: “Babe, I wouldn’t literally kill.” But then reverses that and says ‘only if someone was going to kill you.’ Becky keeps blathering that the lady at Walmart was being so rude she deserved it. Keep it classy, Necks.
Q: What style would you love to see one time on the other one?
B: “Like a really dark.” Say wha?
A: “I want to see you dressed up to the nines. Girly. Girly girly girly.” To which Becky mutters about girly as opposed to that’s better than a tuxedo. Which gets an obnoxious “Whaaaaat?” from DipshitLynn
Q: “Do the two of you have a hypothetical hall pass? If so, who?”
A: “Kate Winslet, for her.” And then they talk about how there’s no hall pass, and that Becky wouldn’t be able to touch her with a ten foot pole.
B: “So you with Miley Cyrus, I wouldn’t give her permission to do everything.” To which Amber replies that “She wouldn’t even touch me.” No shit.
Q: “Becky, what’s your favorite horror movie?”
A: (as Becky’s trying to think of an answer, Bitchomongous blurts out for her) Life Styles of the Rich and Famous!
B: Bleh bleh bleh Annabelle creations (which Amber goes That’s gooooood)
Q: “Do you think about getting an apartment or house just for you two?”
B: “Oh yeah.”
A “That definitely will happen.” Ya know, if you mentioned this to Rickie, he’d probably have your horde out on the front lawn in an hour flat.
Q: “Would you let Amberlynn do your makeup for you?”
B: Mumbles on about how she would, but she’d be a flinching blinking mess around the eyes. Fuck, I’m getting bored. And AMBER, SHUT UP.
Q: “Becky, do you want to grow your hair long?”
B: “In the summer time it sucks because it’s hot, but it’s what other people tell me to do.”
A: “You should do what you want to do.” SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH. This coming from the walrus who gave Becky shade about short hair making fat girls’ faces look bad?! You shitburglar, trying to toss off the obvious shade that’s plowing into your face! (First break for newly restocked beer)
Q: “Becky, what are your top five favorite bands?”
B: “As of late, Depeche Mode, …. ((I’m sorry, with that imaginary cock in her mouth that she’s mumbling around I can’t understand shit - plus she doesn’t know how to pronounce the names of the bands she’s listening to)) Cypress Hill (to which she knows one song), and ((something else I can’t understand because she speaks about her favorite bands so clearly and concisely)).”
Q: “If you two could travel into each others’ past, where would you go and what would you do?”
B “I would go into your teenage year because you said you used to be really wild.” Because she would want to discourage her.
A “WHY? Because I experienced it then means I don’t want to experience it now.” And then they argue about the merits of being a dumbass at any point in your life - Becky stating she has never really been wild, dumb and reckless, and Amber whining incrushiateenly about how it was fun and it’s good to be a fuckin’ r-etard. Then she gets around to answering. “I would want to go back to when you came out, because I’d want to be there for you, because I feel like I can soothe people really well when I really, truly have to.” Then she’s apparently tearing up.
Q: “What’s something the other person does that always makes you laugh:
B: “There’s quite a few things you do.” Amber looks shocked. “Like when you sing your lion king theme song, and you do your little nose twitch” And Amber’s going off on how she’s totally herself for the camera.
A: “The first thing I thought of is when you dance.” Becky looks offended/confused.
Now they’re blathering about how a literal ghost just happened because things made noise.
Q: “What’s Becky’s biggest challenge with your weight?”
B: “I have to do a lot of things without you.” How about you tell us about wiping her ass? Quit covering for your walrus.
A: “A lot of people thing “Oh Amberlynn, you can just get up and walk. You don’t need a scooter.” But I can’t. I need a scooter.” Then DumbassLynn doesn’t realize that tunnels and caves aren’t synonymous with one another. Gah.
“VACAY SITUATION” (sorry, beer time)
Q: “Did any of you ever have feelings for another person during your relationship?”
B: “Nooooo.”
A “She had to think about that, I feel.”
B “Not with you.”
Q: “Where does Becky get inspiration for her paintings?”
B: “I don’t really have many paintings.” You have no paintings. You have crayon. Amberlynn even shades that it’s ‘cute.’ Either she needs that thesaurus situation or it’s shit and even Amberlynn notices.
Q: “When are you two going to get insurance?”
A: (pointing at Neck) “She has insurance.”
Q: “What is one problem you guys argue about the most?”
B: “Probably about what to do because I’m very indecisive.”
A: (Cuntylynn comes to the surface) “Is /that/ how you’re going to answer?”
Q: “Ooooo, someone says I feel that Becky isn’t her true self with you.”
B: “I am with Amberlynn. I hold back a lot on the camera.”
A: “That kinda hurt me just to read.”
Blah blah blah blah I don’t fucking care, Necky. Your actual true self is a spare tire holding up a marble head. And Amber, you don’t need to speak for her, you asshat. And calling her a ‘timid self’? Shady fuck. And we have no idea how her relationship is, quoting #freebecky.
Q: “What’s a weird quark (IDIOT - quirk) about the other person that you’ve noticed over the years?”
B “Amberlynn likes to make weird singing noises. And they’re loud.”
A “Does a bad memory count?” And then Necks goes on to defend that she has a great long term memory but her short term sucks. Whatever. Shaddup. Just let your neck fat drown your words please.
And Amberlynn has no idea about quirks. Which she calls kirks. The fat has consumed her brain. I wish the beer would eat mine.
Now we get giggles and rocking. Weeble, fuck.
Q: “Is Becky sleeping in the living room because you both can’t fit in the bed?”
B “You have no idea how big that bed is.”
Apparently it’s a king. Yay.
Amberlynn was going to show it to us, but it’s super messy. Then she cracks up reading “Who sleeps on pillow mountain and who sleeps in the living room?” No answer but laughter.
Q: “Have you ever had pho?” ((Abbreviated because I’m losing focus))
A: “I’ve never had it, but it’s something I do want to try though.” You’d have to haul your ass out of the house for it, AL.
Q: “What does Becky eat on the daily since she’s super picky?”
B: “I like random different - you’re hurting me (because AL is leaning on her)” Then she starts blathering about chicken, then snap peas, string beans, cauliflower, carrots - Amber is making the ‘I’m so grossed out’ face as all these vegetables get mentioned. This expression from the bitch who left the WL doctor because he wasn’t encouraging vegetables. Of course he wouldn’t - you’re a giant toddler with the taste buds of a giant toddler. Sugar, meat, and salt. Nothing more. She then makes faces about carrots. Necky is still talking but I dunno what she’s saying.
A “Hashtag down 30 lbs!”
Q: “Why are all of Becky’s posters down from the wall?”
B: “They’re not. I just like to move things around.”
Q: (AL start blabbering that this last thing is more of a statement than a question) “I love you both very much. You both give me hope for a relationship.”
A: That’s sweet. We appreciate that a lot.
Dummy. She meant that if you two ugly putzes can manage it, anyone can.