The Cole Smithey Thread

[Kosher Dill]

He writes for a pretty well known publication

I dunno, I'd never heard of Kidzville News before reading about it in this thread.

 

[Cole]

Is this a new photo of Cole, or has this been seen before?

 

[DrNow]

Cole will always be in Chris’s autistic shadow. He’d probably be more successful if he just accepted this and became a fully fledged Christorian, from the inside. How would he be best going about it though? An appearance on one of Ethan Ralph’s shows, where he can go full trainwreck and vent his hatred of the Chandlers? An AMA here? A respectful exchange with Geno?

I’m sure on his Patreon he offers a night where he talks about films and drinks beer with people for a charge. I’m surprised some ween hasn’t lured him in and demanded he discusses the comprehensive history with them.

 

[Ophelia]

Like it was said above, his sperg brain probably saw Bob's side of the family as dead along with Bob. Not to mention, think about it this way.

Chris was begging them for money a few years ago. When they didn’t respond, he made figurines of them as jerkops.

Also do we know for certain who we're the relatives Chris was gonna stay with after getting kicked out of 14blc before his invitation was revoked? Was it David?

It was Aunt Harriet, according to many posts.

Cole will always be in Chris’s autistic shadow. He’d probably be more successful if he just accepted this and became a fully fledged Christorian, from the inside.

For the low low price of what dignity he has left. Even if he has no moral issue with exploiting his tard relative, whatever stories he has (there might not really be any) would be awful and only interesting to Kiwis, nuts, and degenerates.

If Cole would prefer to have little success on his own steam rather than moderate success reminiscing about Shitty Incest Rapist McGee, can you really blame him?

 

[Tranimal Farm]

If Cole would prefer to have little success on his own steam rather than moderate success reminiscing about Shitty Incest Rapist McGee, can you really blame him?

Cole resents his mother more than he's willing to pander to his retard brother's stalkers, no matter how many sheckles it gets him

 

[purpleflurp]

Cole will always be in Chris’s autistic shadow. He’d probably be more successful if he just accepted this and became a fully fledged Christorian, from the inside. How would he be best going about it though? An appearance on one of Ethan Ralph’s shows, where he can go full trainwreck and vent his hatred of the Chandlers? An AMA here? A respectful exchange with Geno?

No sane person would willingly get into the shitshow that is Christory.

There's nothing for him to gain here. Christory is like our own autistic version of the legend of Icarus. Just like there were consequences for Icarus getting too close to the sun, there's consequences for getting in too deep with Chris. If you become a part of Christory, that shit will stick with you for years to come. I mean shit, Adam Stackhouse didn't even meet or talk with Chris until 2018, yet he got dragged in and became a part of this fucked up tale back in 2007.

Keep in mind that as mediocre as Cole's "career" is, he's still living a decent life. There's no financial incentive for him to join the hundreds of weens who constantly pester him about his autistic brother, and the dude is already aware of what Christorians are like. For his own sanity, and the sanity of his family, he shouldn't get involved.

 

[FightenGnome]

Cole will always be in Chris’s autistic shadow. He’d probably be more successful if he just accepted this and became a fully fledged Christorian, from the inside. How would he be best going about it though? An appearance on one of Ethan Ralph’s shows, where he can go full trainwreck and vent his hatred of the Chandlers? An AMA here? A respectful exchange with Geno?

I’m sure on his Patreon he offers a night where he talks about films and drinks beer with people for a charge. I’m surprised some ween hasn’t lured him in and demanded he discusses the comprehensive history with them.

I agree that being known as Chris' "less insane brother" has its value, but Cole is a basic bitch normie Democrat. While he might be able to generate a significant amount of e-fame, he'd quickly become a lolcow himself and probably find the whole thing too tiresome. I kind of respect that about him actually, he seems principally champagne socialist and would disdain the company of both the wide range of Independent leaning internet personalities and the blue haired left.

He knows what he is, is right where he wants to be and wouldn't change it for the world. A nice change from the standard e-whoring. Sometimes you got to know who you are in life and just live it even if the whole world wants to talk about your retard incest family.

If he started going on the farms or RalphRetort and didn't walk away, he'd start getting mad at "those damn racist rednecks on the internet" and he'd have creepy weirdo outcasts begging to talk to him that he can't reject for being considered xist or xphobic if he did

 

[Beef Thunderpants]

im surprised cole smithy never ended up on that guy with the glasses, or became a nostalgia critic ripoff.
he seems like the type. maybe a super pretentious version of the nostalgia critic, reviewing sort of obscure movies and bashing new ones.
edit: i wonder if people send striped rugby shirts, fantas and sonichu medalions to his house?

Cole probably sees himself as above all of that, and those kinds of videos also require a lot of effort, but maybe if some of his videos got more than a dozen views he would have been encouraged.

When I was far more interested in this trainwreck I looked up Tom. I am pretty sure he's dead. Harriet, as far as I could tell, was not. If it was her.... welp, would you want an mother fucker in your nice retirement home?

We also don’t know how current her knowledge of Chris is. Did she still think he was the harmless oddball autistic from 10-15 years ago, and then find out about the gender swap all that nonsense? Plus once this made Fox News the whole neighborhood found out, and that was going to rile them up.

You mean you wouldn't love to hear teenage weens screaming at you constantly about your developmentally disabled brother raping your abusive mother you cut contact with forty years ago constantly?

The last Cole tweet I remember was him saying he didn’t want to hear about his half brother after I assume he was inundated with tweets about the GameStop macing.

There are some amazing black comedies out there.

like Boomerang and the Madea movies?

Anyone know why Chris was obsessed with contacting Cole instead of contacting his other half brother and half sister? If I remember correctly, both of them were more financially successful and lived closer. I also don’t recall a big falling out like there was with Cole. If anything, they should have be more likely to help.

Chris has made at least one video telling Cole to come to Virginia and help take care of Barb so Chris can continue his sweetheart quest. I can’t find it right now, it was similar to the John Kyle video, but directly to Cole.

There is also a video asking all three half siblings to come help with Barb, I think in the form of some symbolic Super Smash Brothers battle.

 

[GumballFapper]

Cole will always be in Chris’s autistic shadow. He’d probably be more successful if he just accepted this and became a fully fledged Christorian

What are you talking about? Throwing his professional life away to pander to a bunch of retards on Kiwifarms and reddit for 15 minutes?

Plus, let's say that hypothetically, you had a retarded brother who got bullied for acting like a retard, would you take photos of him and send them to the bullies and say "LMAO LAUGH AT MY RETARDED BROTHER"? Would you make a Kiwifarms thread on your own brother and his weird antics?

Jesus Christ, get a reality check

 

[Rukario]

Like it was said above, his sperg brain probably saw Bob's side of the family as dead along with Bob. Not to mention, think about it this way.

Who is this tard more likely to get even a reply from? Two half siblings who are both highly educated and have cut their Father out of their life due to his behaviour but are thriving, or a half sibling manchild who's up his own ass and completely living off his rich wife, who Chris has what he thinks is "leverage" against (basically he can just pester Cole about Barb buying him a car/paying for his schooling)

Chris has always seemed more gravitating towards the maternal side of his family (Weston) rather than his paternal (Chandler). Not only is he seemingly of higher opinion of his maternal relatives like Aunt Harriet and even continuing to try and contact Cole Smithey, he even came up with that stupid story about how the Westons were descended from English Royalty.

Considering this and his almost unbroken defence of his mother, I wonder if since his father's passing (and even before) Barb tried to turn him against his father's family out of jealousy or spite or something like that, maybe even against his dead father. The circumstantial evidence for this I can think of right now is how Barbara registered her numberplate as "BWESTON" (ignoring the Chandler name), and how Chris gloated about how he was better in the bedroom with his mother (in his opinion) than his departed father.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Chris has always seemed more gravitating towards the maternal side of his family (Weston) rather than his paternal (Chandler). Not only is he seemingly of higher opinion of his maternal relatives like Aunt Harriet and even continuing to try and contact Cole Smithey, he even came up with that stupid story about how the Westons were descended from English Royalty.

Considering this and his almost unbroken defence of his mother, I wonder if since his father's passing (and even before) Barb tried to turn him against his father's family out of jealousy or spite or something like that, maybe even against his dead father. The circumstantial evidence for this I can think of right now is how Barbara registered her numberplate as "BWESTON" (ignoring the Chandler name), and how Chris gloated about how he was better in the bedroom with his mother (in his opinion) than his departed father.

I bet his father's side of the family is breathing a sigh of relief knowing this. They don't want him going after Savanah or Carol.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

You guys asking why Chris tried to latch to Cole and not so much to the other half-siblings are reading too much into it. Chris is lazy and incompetent, and Cole is the only one with a significative online presence, meaning his contact details can be easily googled.

Then you could also argue that the siblings from Bob's side aren't even related to Barb and have no reason to give a shit (fuck, depending on when did they cut off contact with Bob, they may not even as much as ever met Barb to begin with. Carol probably didn't ever met Chris either), but to be fair, Chris is probably too stupid and entitled to understand that.

The sad part is that up to about 2007 or so, Cole did seem to feel some sense of responsibility toward Chris - reading between the lines in the e-mails the two exchanged, it looks like Cole was gently trying to get Chris to see for himself what a terrible person their mother was.

Can't agree with that, he was just a vindictive fuck. And while he kinda had the right to it, he still tried to manipulate his retarded half-brother into some fucked up family drama when he was only pleading for support on some silly, childish contest. And there's also asking Chris to drop him a line "when that fuck Bob drops". That's pretty low.

Still, all things considered, I wouldn't hold it that much against him, having Barb as a mother and not even knowing who your real father was must be pretty fucked up. Plus, (who is believed to be) his real father died a month prior to that email exchange, so Cole may have not been in the right state of mind back then.



On, another note, I remember reading ages ago (probably the ED article, pre-CWCki) that some troll sent Cole the infamous pic of Chris in Barb's underwear using Chris account (one of the million times he gave away his password to a "sweetheart"), to which Cole just responded with "DON'T EMAIL ME EVER AGAIN"

Anyone else remembers that? Can't find any trace on the CWCki.

 

[King Kiwi]

What are you talking about? Throwing his professional life away to pander to a bunch of retards on Kiwifarms and reddit for 15 minutes?

What's wrong with that?

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Bob's biggest fuckup in life was doing something which made his 1st wife divorce him and his 2nd biggest was doing Barb.

It had to be something because his other kids don't really want anything to do with him.

 

[Holiday Special]

It had to be something because his other kids don't really want anything to do with him.

Probably he cheated on his wife with some white trash whore or he was an alcoholic and beat them.

 

[Michael Janke]

Throwing his professional life away

doesnt his wife bankroll all his living expenses? he's probably just barely above a freelancer in pay.
if Cole had a band and was doing lots of venues or he was a very respected film critic and does podcasts and tv interviews as a special guest I'd see what you mean. but he's only notable at this point because of his brother.

 

[ANobody]

For the low low price of what dignity he has left. Even if he has no moral issue with exploiting his tard relative.

The man's personality is 50% not understanding movies 25% coastal city douche and 25% craft beer, what dignity is there?

 

[AnOminous]

Still, all things considered, I wouldn't hold it that much against him, having Barb as a mother and not even knowing who your real father was must be pretty fucked up. Plus, (who is believed to be) his real father died a month prior to that email exchange, so Cole may have not been in the right state of mind back then.

Cole is a jerkoff, nobody should be dangling from his raisin-sized nuts.

 

[Ophelia]

The man's personality is 50% not understanding movies 25% coastal city douche and 25% craft beer, what dignity is there?

That’s more dignified than someone who would try to make money off mother fucking pants shitting Chris.

 

[StarDreamer2002]

If I were him I'd distance myself from Chris too. Chris is like the black sheep of the family.