The Cole Smithey Thread

[AnOminous]

I'd like to point out that even though Cole's 3edgy Tweet was about 7 hours ago (EDT), he has still yet to get any replies or retweets (i.e., it's going largely unnoticed).

He got some replies here.

You know, on a forum about his retarded half-brother.

The only place that cares about him at all, because of his retarded half-brother.

 

[*Asterisk*]

I haven't read the article yet so I'm going to play a guessing game:

Did he compare Trump to Hitler and fascists and call the GOP a fascist party? Also did he pull a "Trump is evil but none of the other candidates are any better" phrase?

Does he support Bernie and did he use a hashtag somewhere?

Judging by Ted Rall -- his only friend and waste-of-life mentor -- he'll vote Trump this year.

Edit:
I'm serious. Hillary'll win the Democratic Nomination, and Cole'll vote for Trump as a result.

 

[Anonymouss]

I just re-watched this video out of pure masochism and made a little discovery: Cole's final joke ("Remember to turn your cellphone off... while watching a movie.") sounds exactly like something CWC could have said as a joke in his "Future Message", and Cole's face and mannerism look eerily similar to his brother's. They are far more similar than I thought.

Well Cole is doing an internet movie review of a kids movie while wearing a fedora, so I guess autism does run in the family.

 

[3rd Continuance]

I bet it's a constant source of quiet bitterness for Cole that he isn't notable enough to merit a "Verified" tag on Twitter.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Cole looks like Barb if she were a man, and Chris looks like Barb if she were a woman.

 

[LiveFromNS]

Cole looks like Barb if she were a man, and Chris looks like Barb if she were a woman.

If Cole is a man. And Chris is a woman. What's Barb? (source: Stand By Me)

 

[The Great Chandler]

For someone who hates Trump, he sure acts like Trump.

 

[anephric]

Cole looks like Barb if she were a man, and Chris looks like Barb if she were a woman.

The culmination of this entire board in a single sentence.

I salute you.

 

[ObeseScreamingBlackMan]

I bet it's a constant source of quiet bitterness for Cole that he isn't notable enough to merit a "Verified" tag on Twitter.

Or that his retarded tranny brother has more followers than he does?

 

[Mason Verger]

"Whoa.. Leave me outta this one, mate.."
-#elviscostello

 

[AnOminous]

I want to waterboard Cole Smithey and between submersions demand that he justify his existence and force him to admit Chris is the superior sibling.

 

[The Giver]

Fun fact: "white nigger" was originally a British slur for poor Irishmen.

Elvis Costello used the phrase in "Oliver's Army" to refer to the poor, working class British citizens exploited by those in power, especially in wartime.

Trump actually is very far from a white nigger. In fact, he is one of those in power that exploit the poor.

So, basically what I'm saying is that Cole completely missed the point of Elvis Costello's song.

 

[Bunnie]

What a idiot, Well we know another thing Cole and Chris share, their massive stupidity

 

[Jack Awful]

Cole Smithey reminds me of Moviebob, both are fat, over-opinionated movie critics who think they're way more important than they really are.

 

[Mason Verger]

White niggo.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Cole completely missed the point

No! Never!

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

Cole kinda reminds me of Rick Wilson, the GOP consultant who said that Donald Trump supporters are "childless single men who masturbate to anime". They even look the same:



They're both bald, with glasses, chubby face, and that scraggly little salt-and-pepper beard that just looks like they've been three days without a shave. I mean, what's up with that shit? I know as men get older their testosterone levels drop, but if you can't grow a thick bushy beard, then pick up the razor and shave that fungus off your face.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Which is hilarious, because being anti-Trump is about the most boring thing anyone slightly left of center might say. Yes, you're anti-Trump. And not a lot of right-wingers like Hillary Clinton. No fucking shit.

Agreed. It's the same calibre as when family guy makes jokes about how ignorant Christians and republicans are.

 

[AnOminous]

So, basically what I'm saying is that Cole completely missed the point of Elvis Costello's song.

And in the process, not only used a racist slur, but insulted the Irish.

Some "smartest film critic in the world."

Some denigrate Cole Smithey's status as a lolcow, but just calling himself that is lolcow as fuck.

 

[Too Many Crooks]

Has anyone else seen Smithey's review for The Force Awakens? It's like he was asleep for almost the entirety of the film, or he just threw together a bunch of complaints he read online.

http://www.colesmithey.com/reviews/2016/01/star-wars-the-force-awakens.html

Spoiler: Episode VII sperging ahead

He denounces the film as pro-military and faults the Resistance for that, while he never mentions the First Order, whose most heinous act in the film was annihilating the Hosnian star system, murdering billions of people. And he doesn't mention that the First Order kidnaps children to indoctrinate into the Stormtrooper army.

He never mentions the conflict within the Solo family, how Han and Leia are devastated by their son's corruption. Nor does Cole write about Kylo Ren's intense inner conflict between the Light and Dark side.

And he doesn't mention Finn's character development throughout the film, either.

Yes, it's a valid criticism that The Force Awakens had several blatant parallels to A New Hope, or that Rey did not get enough character development, but the rest of his review falls far too short.

If I'm not mistaken, according to his CWCki page, Smithey also gave Toy Story 3 a negative review because the pink teddy bear character made him uncomfortable.