The easiest way into your heart? - Probing for info, obvs

[Red Hood]

A willingness to let me slip it in your butthole.
What's is "it" you ask?
Finding that out is part of the journey.

"it" is a paperback copy of Stephen King's IT.

 

[MrTroll]

"it" is a paperback copy of Stephen King's IT.

The hardcover is more fun though.

 

[Randy Lahey]

Food and rum

 

[Red Hood]

The hardcover is more fun though.

Those sharp corners though.

 

[Celebrate Nite]

Humor and Intelligence. If you can make me laugh and carry on a conversation with a sprinkle of intellectual topics, I'm pretty much sold.

 

[DocHoliday1977]

I'll be best friends with anyone as long as you're not a nigger, tranny, programmer, gay, schizophrenic, democrat, straight edge, nofap, not circumcised, atheist, has a twitter, or enjoys videos games.

I hope you find friends not like you.

 

[The Fool]

I hope you find friends not like you.

 

[DocHoliday1977]

View attachment 1234039

Exactly right. And I'm disqualified.

 

[DocHoliday1977]

My heart.

How to get to my heart.....I don't know.

I have a type and I've stuck to it rather profoundly and unconsciously. I guess if you're nice to me and make me laugh, that's a good direction to my heart.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

Letting me bitch about the J'ews, and even better, agreeing with me about them.


Edit: Honestly, there's just a magnetism that draws me to people who I like. I think we all have it. I once heard a preacher preach a sermon in which he spoke about "deep calling out to deep," that souls are attracted to like souls, whether it's good or bad. What's amazing about it is that the attraction can happen long before you know that the person has any of the same interests. I've had a number of friends like that and don't really hang out with people much besides; I'll hang out with more casual acquaintances at times, but I can tell a clear difference between people who I immediately feel relaxed around and people I don't.

But I don't think I've ever felt that way about a woman, which makes me a bit worried that one such doesn't exist.

 

[Silver Chariot]

You're assuming a lot.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

A good woman can reenact every scene from "Problem Child 2", and if she can really nail the Gilbert Gottfried parts that makes my he-snootch squirt.

If she can really squint hard and go "You disgusting, flatuating kid" while unbuckling my jeans, man that's wife material.

 

[Mesh Gear Fox]

Have a cigarette with me.

 

[the fall of man]

Just talk to me I guess? I like everybody. If I were pickier I guess I’d be drawn to people who are super autistic idiot savants about one thing, because obsessions are neat and super autists are easy to please

 

[TFT-A9]

Probably a really sharp object. Maybe a Fairbairn-Sykes type knife.

 

[Jason Wynn]

On a purely superficial level: if you can sing well, I'm putty in your hands.

Slightly more serious: someone who isn't mired in one singular way of thought or living. Someone who has a good sense of humor about themselves and life in general. Someone with a good work ethic. Someone who isn't a degenerate or constantly seeking attention. Someone with a good heart. Basic stuff.

 

[Pinot Pierrot]

Doughnuts. Doesn't even have to be the good kind, you can just grab some from Dunkin Donuts and I'm all ears.

 

[Twolegstillmidnight]

I like people who actually have interests and hobbies. Anime and cosplay don’t count.

 

[Rice Is Ready]

Compliments. I will do anything you tell me to if you say nice things to me.

 

[Wraith]

Moral self sacrifice.
Also long pretty hair and big knockers on a nice trim frame helps.