🐱 The Elf On The Shelf Is A Cop: We Need ‘The Anti-Fascist On The Bookcase’

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Santa “sees you when you’re sleeping,” but his right hand man — the Elf on the Shelf — serves a more sinister role in surveillance. Introduced in 2005, the cutesy book-and-doll combo instructs parents to hide the elf doll around their home in the days leading up to Christmas. Photos of the Elf on the Shelf peeking out of cabinets and diving headfirst into bags of candy have exploded on social media, but as the whimsical new tradition takes off, some writers are calling the elf’s role into question. The Elf on the Shelf keeps tabs on who’s naughty and who’s nice, or as the little guy says in the rhyming story, “At holiday time, Santa sends me to you. I watch and report on all that you do.”

Yep, that cherubic, pointy-eared pal is an insidious form of faux supervision that indoctrinates children into surveillance culture. If you think those are strong words, consider digital technology professor Laura Pinto’s take: the Elf on the Shelf is “a capillary form of power that normalizes the voluntary surrender of privacy, teaching young people to blindly accept panoptic surveillance and reify hegemonic power.” Woof.

2020 has been a big year for police surveillance in the U.S. Protestors have been identified and arrested using their Facebook posts and even an Etsy review. Facial recognition technology is on the rise. This is the year to reject surveillance culture, and the resistance starts at home. If you’re a parent with an Elf on the Shelf doll or if you’re a childless queerdo looking for wholesome holiday fun, I’m calling for a rebrand. The Elf on the Shelf as we knew him is dead. We need the Anti-Fascist on the Bookcase.

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Your little Anti-Fascist (they/them/theirs) can take the form of a revamped Elf on the Shelf doll, or they can be any toy you have lying around your home. But unlike the Elf on the Shelf, who gets into mischief while he spies on you, the Anti-Fascist on the Bookcase should be completing useful tasks, inspiring your household to stay engaged with your community. Here are some ideas:




They put on their mask and head to the store
They’re delivering groceries to Nana next door​


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The Anti-Fascist on the Bookcase is well-aware that the Trump administration has mishandled the pandemic. While COVID-19 cases surge around the country, the Anti-Fascist wants to protect your at-risk neighbors. If you wake up early in the morning, you might catch them coming back from the co-op, where they’ve gathered everything on Ethyl’s list in a reusable canvas bag.

The elf pours through the news to learns “why’s,” “when’s,” and “how’s”
They always tune in to Democracy Now!​



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The Anti-Fascist on the bookcase knows that it’s important to consume a variety of news sources, and they put their trust in media that isn’t corporate-sponsored. If you leave Democracy Now! open on your laptop, you might catch them shaking a fist at the headlines.

This small Anti-Fascist won’t let food scraps spoil
They’re turning their peels into fresh, fertile soil​


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The Anti-Fascist on the Bookcase detests food waste, and they’re proud of you for composting! If you creep into the kitchen in the early morning, you might find them turning your food scraps into fertile soil.

At bedtime, this elf wants to read something new
They think that some Angela Davis will do​


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The Anti-Fascist on the Bookcase wants to stay informed about the dangers of the prison-industrial complex. Catch them next to your bed, where they’ll be cuddled up with a copy of Are Prisons Obsolete?.

Marching and cheering and chanting so loud
A protest sign makes your elf friend feel proud​


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The Anti-Fascist on the Bookcase knows that electoral politics are not the only means of creating change. They believe in the power of protest, and they want you to have the perfect sign for the next time you march into the streets.

While waiting for capitalism to fall,
The elf sews a patch on your old overalls​


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The Anti-Fascist on the Bookcase strives to live outside of capitalist system as much as they possibly can. They don’t want you to have to buy new overalls once you wear through the knees, so you might see them with a needle and thread repairing what would otherwise be replaced.

“Jails and prisons are broken!” the little elf cries
They send their spare change to the people inside​

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The Anti-Fascist on the Bookcase know that the cash bail system criminalizes poverty. You might catch them sending some dollars to a community bond to help community members in need of assistance.

This elf loves to bake for the lesbian neighbors
These gluten-free muffins will be theirs to savor​


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The Anti-Fascist on the Bookcase always asks about food allergies before they whip up a batch of holiday treats. You might see them covered in rice flour while they make morning glories for Nora and Jess.

As your houseless neighbors face winter’s cold chill,
The elf brings them blankets and coats and good will​

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The Anti-Fascist on the Bookcase wants your local tent city to safely make it through the colder months. Catch them sneaking out of the house with your unused winter gear. They’re bringing sleeping bags and puffy coats to community members in need!

This elf wears a mask, and they’ll get a vaccine
They’re slowing the spread of COVID-19​

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The Anti-Fascist on the Bookcase always wears a mask in public and practices social distancing, but they always get tested in they think they might have been exposed to someone with COVID-19. The nasal swab is uncomfortable, but the Anti-Fascist doesn’t mind — they know that regular testing is a critical means of keeping you and your community safe.
 
Yep, that cherubic, pointy-eared pal is an insidious form of faux supervision that indoctrinates children into surveillance culture.
I'd ask if this idiot is familiar with the concept of children, but we already know the answer.

They're children. Their very lives are surveillance. If you stop looking at them for five seconds they'll try to kill themselves. A child either accepts "surveillance culture" or it walks off a bridge or drinks a bottle of drain cleaner. Them's the breaks.
 
2020 has been a big year for police surveillance in the U.S. Protestors have been identified and arrested using their Facebook posts and even an Etsy review.
Hey comrades, I just shot a video of myself throwing bricks at the cops. Now let me just upload it to the internet and... wait, why are the police at my front door? It must be Andy NGO’s fault!
 
I feel like they're right but for the wrong reasons. Elf in the Shelf is creepy in the way it normalises the idea of mass surveillance. I tuned out when he tried using that point as a half-baked excuse to segway into talking about muh police brutality and BLM.
To be fair, I did put a Santa hat on my Alexa this year, but that was just to be festive.
 
Imagined being 'outraged' that the FBI used stuff you posted on social media to identify you after you torched two police cars.

By searching for videos of the protests uploaded to Instagram and Vimeo, the agents were able to find additional footage of the incident, and spotted a peace sign tattoo on the woman’s right forearm. After finding a set of 500 pictures of the protests shared by an amateur photographer, they were able to clearly see what the woman was wearing, including a T-shirt with the slogan: “Keep the Immigrants. Deport the Racists.”

The FBI followed a trail of digital breadcrumbs to identify Blumenthal

The only place to buy this exact T-shirt was an Etsy store, where a user calling themselves “alleycatlore” had left a five-star review for the seller just few days before the protest. Using Google to search for this username, agents then found a matching profile at the online fashion marketplace Poshmark which listed the user’s name as “Lore-elisabeth.”

A search for “Lore-elisabeth” led to a LinkedIn profile for one Lore Elisabeth Blumenthal, employed as a massage therapist at a Philadelphia massage studio. Videos hosted by the studio showed an individual with the same distinctive peace tattoo on their arm. A phone number listed for Blumenthal led to an address. As reported by NBC Philadelphia, a subpoena served to the Etsy seller showed a “Keep the Immigrants. Deport the Racists.” T-shirt had recently been delivered to that same address.

Blumenthal’s lawyer Hetznecker said the case had become “political” after prosecutors decided to charge Blumenthal federally, rather than locally. Hetznecker also told The Philadelphia Inquirer that the public was unaware of how information they shared online could be used to identify them, just like Blumenthal. He said the case showed worrying similarities with earlier instances of surveillance overreach by US law enforcement.

“The question is whether they’ve undermined the privacy interests of everyone based on the search for one or two individuals,” he said. “That’s the same paradigm that was used to profile Muslims after 9/11, the same paradigm used for profiling African Americans.”
 
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I'd ask if this idiot is familiar with the concept of children, but we already know the answer.

They're children. Their very lives are surveillance. If you stop looking at them for five seconds they'll try to kill themselves. A child either accepts "surveillance culture" or it walks off a bridge or drinks a bottle of drain cleaner. Them's the breaks.
That's a very recent attitude. Only a few decades ago kids had a lot more freedom than they have today. How many parents still let their kids out on the street with only a "make sure you're back before the streetlights go out"?
 
That's a very recent attitude. Only a few decades ago kids had a lot more freedom than they have today. How many parents still let their kids out on the street with only a "make sure you're back before the streetlights go out"?
I'm talking under the age of like 6. Elf on the shelf is for very young children. Any 12 year old kid who still cares is only going along with it for fun.
 
So they're okay with how Santa somehow knows if you've been 'naughty or nice', something that implies 24/7 surveillance of a child, but the Elf on the Shelf is where they draw the line?

I'm surprised that Christmas is even viewed positively here, considering how the modern form of it is so steeped in consumerism. Talk about lacking your priorities!
 
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