The Game Oversimplification Thread - Take any game and intentionally make it sound boring

Here's one: A computer that really, really hates people.
 
You spend the whole game waiting for a long thing that never shows up when you need it
 
1. Japanese D&D session goes on for way too long.

2. People and creatures known only by their edgy nicknames fight across a river.

3. It's too dark, who turned off the sun?
 
A young adult ventures out in the world to find a way to save their village from famine and starvation.
 
You're a retired special forces pulled out of retirement for a mission on an island.
 
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