- Joined
- Aug 19, 2020
- Highlight
- #1
It was a calm Sunday morning when creative genius Byuu, the legendary mind behind a fan translation of Bahamut Lagoon, took their life in a disturbing act of defiance against the bullying they had been receiving. This precious soul was backed into a corner, and their only option was for one to send themselves off this mortal coil. Let this be a lesson to all about the effects of internet bullying.
As this horrible news started to make the rounds, and the wailing subsided, Twitter came together, to spring into action. Mass-reporting. Petitioning companies. Posting their bravery, which was filtered through their pain into calls of violence, as is natural for the good people of the thinking world when responding to such parasitic evil.
The hashtag CancelKiwiFarms is coming alive with the passion of these heroes. These are their stories.
How will the Kiwi Farms ever survive without
the patronage of UAE and New Zealand?!
-
thanks Eddie
The Post That Was Heard Round The World(Byuu confirmed not dead in Japan)
As this horrible news started to make the rounds, and the wailing subsided, Twitter came together, to spring into action. Mass-reporting. Petitioning companies. Posting their bravery, which was filtered through their pain into calls of violence, as is natural for the good people of the thinking world when responding to such parasitic evil.
The hashtag CancelKiwiFarms is coming alive with the passion of these heroes. These are their stories.
How will the Kiwi Farms ever survive without
the patronage of UAE and New Zealand?!
-
thanks Eddie
CONFIRMED: BYUU DID NOT COMMIT SUICIDE IN JAPAN
It seems our superior cataloguing and archival of public data has caused some...... controversy.
-DESANTIS DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!
-SIMP
-Thankyou based Korean dude for spamming in the logs
-Here comes Ralph, our big special boy, to weigh in-
-
-Y tho, you're not interesting. Now BEGONE THOT
-niche internet microceleb weighs in
-Julie's boyfriend's name? Kiwi Farms.
"That’s Neal Rauhauser.
He deserves his own thread, an absolute joke of a person.
But from what I’ve gathered, he will use CaseFile (instead of Transforms in Maltego) to just make graphs look whatever way he wants. He’s batshit insane and is so desperate to be a bad dude on the internet.
He’s got active warrants right now. And no one can find him outside of knowing he lives in Northern California. His best friend was raided and arrested recently. For what? Oh nothing much, just taking hidden cam nudes of his daughter, uploading to the web, and then forging an affidavit in her name to say it never happened.
Case is out of Arizona. Thomas Retzlaff. Nasty shit from what I gather"
-Respect the Erect
-DESANTIS DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!
-SIMP
-Thankyou based Korean dude for spamming in the logs
-Here comes Ralph, our big special boy, to weigh in-
-
-Y tho, you're not interesting. Now BEGONE THOT
-niche internet microceleb weighs in
-Julie's boyfriend's name? Kiwi Farms.
"That’s Neal Rauhauser.
He deserves his own thread, an absolute joke of a person.
But from what I’ve gathered, he will use CaseFile (instead of Transforms in Maltego) to just make graphs look whatever way he wants. He’s batshit insane and is so desperate to be a bad dude on the internet.
He’s got active warrants right now. And no one can find him outside of knowing he lives in Northern California. His best friend was raided and arrested recently. For what? Oh nothing much, just taking hidden cam nudes of his daughter, uploading to the web, and then forging an affidavit in her name to say it never happened.
Case is out of Arizona. Thomas Retzlaff. Nasty shit from what I gather"
-Respect the Erect
CAN'T SHUT THIS DOWN, TWITTER
I wonder how many genuine users that this shitstorm is going to bring in. It's like an outrage newfag summer, to riff on chan terms.
The vast majority are going to be hatereaders. No doubt in my mind about that. But hateread long enough and you'll start to see that more often than not KF is extremely civil in its discussions. Leagues above twitter by far, since your entire social life shouldn't be on the line if you're capable of basic reading comprehension and understanding that your usernames and info you post online should not tie back to you in any way.
I think long term this outrage is only going to increase the public awareness of KF, for better or worse. If there's one thing twitter trannies and reddit jannies LOVE it's the ability to dig up dirt on their closest enemies, whom in their circles are called 'friends'. Since the overwhelming majority of them are backstabbing narcissistic snakes who will gleefully destroy their closest friends for the opportunity to be the center of a callout post, or a good ol' twitter lynching, it seems like a rational conclusion that there'll be an influx of readers or even gay-op posters trying to smear eachother.
A quiet few will start to realize that twitter, and by extension the mentalities and social norms it promotes in your mind, is one of the most potent neurotoxins on the planet designed to turn you into an anxious number-obsessed retard. Twitter users whether they realize it or not are addicted to the dopamine rush of a like, of a reddit upvote, of a number signifying approval going up. I'd hazard that's why the phrase 'that's valid' and 'you're valid' and other such phrases popped up in LGBT circles. It's because fundamentally, their brains are now deprived of any and all method of self-validation. This'll sound obvious to anyone who isn't afflicted with the brain parasite but: You don't need a bunch of sweaty, unwashed autists in dresses or pretending to be uwu gay soft bois to dictate your self worth. Twitter, Reddit and other sites have conditioned your brain into thinking that you have no worth if you don't get a number that signifies it going up.
Consider also why you participate in your chosen brand of 'activism.' Is it because you truly believe in it? Is it because you are willing to get up and fight for shit you believe in? Or is it because it's what's popular among your peers. Because you get a shit-ton of likes and RTs on your posts when you tweet about it. Do you actually practice what you preach, or are you following the crowd because your sense of self is so eroded by your reliance on the numbers, and your social circles being predicated on these group accepted ideals? Think critically about your situation. See if you can reasonably explain any holes you manage to poke in the façade. What then? Are you satisfied with that? Why?
Get away from that shit. Disconnect, go outside, get friends who aren't mentally ill or on the brink of mental collapse. If you're reading this and you still have the self awareness to understand what I'm saying, then start making tracks. Stop using services that commodify your presence, arguably your existence, into literal validation points you award to other users. It's contributing to a huge decline in your and others' mental wellbeing and psychological ability to determine the self. You're not a tranny, you're not a non-binary, you're not an uwu femboi. You're performatively adopting those identities because the numbers have replaced your concept of identity and self-worth.
Since twitter users are hawking this thread and screencapping everything, screencap this post.
Twitter outrage spreads so fast because the majority of twitter users are addicted to being included. They're addicted to seeing the numbers go up, and feeling like they're 'part of something.' Critical thinking be damned, if you can fit it in 280 characters and you apply support to the majority, you'll get your fucking good boy points. You get to feel 'recognized' or 'noticed.' By strangers you'll never meet, anywhere from 20 to over 10,000 miles from you.
I can't imagine being complacent with an existence like that. I can't imagine being reliant on spergs and trannies to determine my self worth, self image or societal impact. Social media and the commodification of people as vessels for 'like and share' is a total disaster for anyone who gets sucked too deep into the hole. Thankfully, those who do get sucked too deep tend to be pretty exceptionally stupid and will regularly air dirty laundry on the internet and generally be a walking, tweeting, sideshow trainwreck.
If you don't want to be one of those people, and you're reading this, get out of that cesspit now. It is only going to get worse, and KF is only going to laugh harder as more and more retards chomp at the bit for attention. If you made it this far, congratulations. There's hope for you yet.
To close out: the chorus of coping, seething and dilating from not only twitter tards but now retarded news websites has me pretty amused ngl. Near/Byuu absolutely did not kill himself. If he did it was by no fault of the farms. Seems like the ultimate narcissist play to fake suicide of your fucking username to get back at people talking about you.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9331919
The vast majority are going to be hatereaders. No doubt in my mind about that. But hateread long enough and you'll start to see that more often than not KF is extremely civil in its discussions. Leagues above twitter by far, since your entire social life shouldn't be on the line if you're capable of basic reading comprehension and understanding that your usernames and info you post online should not tie back to you in any way.
I think long term this outrage is only going to increase the public awareness of KF, for better or worse. If there's one thing twitter trannies and reddit jannies LOVE it's the ability to dig up dirt on their closest enemies, whom in their circles are called 'friends'. Since the overwhelming majority of them are backstabbing narcissistic snakes who will gleefully destroy their closest friends for the opportunity to be the center of a callout post, or a good ol' twitter lynching, it seems like a rational conclusion that there'll be an influx of readers or even gay-op posters trying to smear eachother.
A quiet few will start to realize that twitter, and by extension the mentalities and social norms it promotes in your mind, is one of the most potent neurotoxins on the planet designed to turn you into an anxious number-obsessed retard. Twitter users whether they realize it or not are addicted to the dopamine rush of a like, of a reddit upvote, of a number signifying approval going up. I'd hazard that's why the phrase 'that's valid' and 'you're valid' and other such phrases popped up in LGBT circles. It's because fundamentally, their brains are now deprived of any and all method of self-validation. This'll sound obvious to anyone who isn't afflicted with the brain parasite but: You don't need a bunch of sweaty, unwashed autists in dresses or pretending to be uwu gay soft bois to dictate your self worth. Twitter, Reddit and other sites have conditioned your brain into thinking that you have no worth if you don't get a number that signifies it going up.
Consider also why you participate in your chosen brand of 'activism.' Is it because you truly believe in it? Is it because you are willing to get up and fight for shit you believe in? Or is it because it's what's popular among your peers. Because you get a shit-ton of likes and RTs on your posts when you tweet about it. Do you actually practice what you preach, or are you following the crowd because your sense of self is so eroded by your reliance on the numbers, and your social circles being predicated on these group accepted ideals? Think critically about your situation. See if you can reasonably explain any holes you manage to poke in the façade. What then? Are you satisfied with that? Why?
Get away from that shit. Disconnect, go outside, get friends who aren't mentally ill or on the brink of mental collapse. If you're reading this and you still have the self awareness to understand what I'm saying, then start making tracks. Stop using services that commodify your presence, arguably your existence, into literal validation points you award to other users. It's contributing to a huge decline in your and others' mental wellbeing and psychological ability to determine the self. You're not a tranny, you're not a non-binary, you're not an uwu femboi. You're performatively adopting those identities because the numbers have replaced your concept of identity and self-worth.
Since twitter users are hawking this thread and screencapping everything, screencap this post.
Twitter outrage spreads so fast because the majority of twitter users are addicted to being included. They're addicted to seeing the numbers go up, and feeling like they're 'part of something.' Critical thinking be damned, if you can fit it in 280 characters and you apply support to the majority, you'll get your fucking good boy points. You get to feel 'recognized' or 'noticed.' By strangers you'll never meet, anywhere from 20 to over 10,000 miles from you.
I can't imagine being complacent with an existence like that. I can't imagine being reliant on spergs and trannies to determine my self worth, self image or societal impact. Social media and the commodification of people as vessels for 'like and share' is a total disaster for anyone who gets sucked too deep into the hole. Thankfully, those who do get sucked too deep tend to be pretty exceptionally stupid and will regularly air dirty laundry on the internet and generally be a walking, tweeting, sideshow trainwreck.
If you don't want to be one of those people, and you're reading this, get out of that cesspit now. It is only going to get worse, and KF is only going to laugh harder as more and more retards chomp at the bit for attention. If you made it this far, congratulations. There's hope for you yet.
To close out: the chorus of coping, seething and dilating from not only twitter tards but now retarded news websites has me pretty amused ngl. Near/Byuu absolutely did not kill himself. If he did it was by no fault of the farms. Seems like the ultimate narcissist play to fake suicide of your fucking username to get back at people talking about you.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9331919
Ladies and Gentlemen. It would pay us all to ask ourselves why Byuu freaked out at the old thread in the first place. I.E. the first 13 or so pages. He jumped back on for a reason and it wasn't to set the record - it was always about getting that thread and some nugget of information removed.
It wasn't because we called out his fuzzy likes, or past failures or successes. It was something else - there was a particular reason why he/it/she/furry goat/non-binary goat (I'm getting confused) actually freaked out and wanted the thread to disappear.
Within that thread somewhere there is either a connection made to something he did that was illegal (fraud, wire fraud, payment for something wrong, false claims) or would threaten his position with what he does for a living, a copyright matter or something that would breach a contract. Or the timeline of something within the data that shows he did something after or before a certain time that would have consequence for him. Or something he revealed in his replies that followed that gave something away by his hand which could be taken as confirmation of a rumor that has consequence.
He is sly, and his approach later to Null to void the thread based on "where it went" I think was something he always was going to do because nothing followed in the thread after his comments that was particularly new. We know his claims of harassment are false anyway, so his position within the letter to Null I think is a red herring he has thrown at us.
I'm going to break down the first 13 pages and his replies but without some understanding of copyright laws and the work he does this will be difficult. Remember, laws change depending upon one's location so something we see an innocent may not be if he was in another country when it happened. Somewhere within that thread and his replies is something that is going to unlock his meltdown - and explain why his associates are assisting him and backing his play to delete this thread.
This drama is a red herring and we may have been sideswiped. I'll go through it tonight and probably see what comes up and post in 2 days.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9334036
It wasn't because we called out his fuzzy likes, or past failures or successes. It was something else - there was a particular reason why he/it/she/furry goat/non-binary goat (I'm getting confused) actually freaked out and wanted the thread to disappear.
Within that thread somewhere there is either a connection made to something he did that was illegal (fraud, wire fraud, payment for something wrong, false claims) or would threaten his position with what he does for a living, a copyright matter or something that would breach a contract. Or the timeline of something within the data that shows he did something after or before a certain time that would have consequence for him. Or something he revealed in his replies that followed that gave something away by his hand which could be taken as confirmation of a rumor that has consequence.
He is sly, and his approach later to Null to void the thread based on "where it went" I think was something he always was going to do because nothing followed in the thread after his comments that was particularly new. We know his claims of harassment are false anyway, so his position within the letter to Null I think is a red herring he has thrown at us.
I'm going to break down the first 13 pages and his replies but without some understanding of copyright laws and the work he does this will be difficult. Remember, laws change depending upon one's location so something we see an innocent may not be if he was in another country when it happened. Somewhere within that thread and his replies is something that is going to unlock his meltdown - and explain why his associates are assisting him and backing his play to delete this thread.
This drama is a red herring and we may have been sideswiped. I'll go through it tonight and probably see what comes up and post in 2 days.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9334036
I phoned the US Embassy in Minato, Tokyo, after you posted this.
Apparently they've been getting a lot of calls about David Ginder, and the level of concern was sufficiently high that they put in the effort of finding him. Anyway, turns out he's absolutely fine - they managed to track down his workplace and catch him there; he explained that he'd had a bit of a meltdown over the weekend but he's bounced back. They actually gave me his number, and I phoned him! We had a lovely chat and Dave explained that he's really embarrassed about everything and ashamed of what he put his internet friends through, so will probably stop posting on the internet for the foreseeable future - he said he saw it as a clean break and he's going to focus on going to therapy and making new friends in Japan. Dave even decided to use some of his savings to book himself into an exclusive ryokan (with a private onsen!) in Hokkaido - he's not taken a holiday in three years so his company's let him take a month off. Lovely bloke, it sounds like this was a real wake up call.
To respect Dave's privacy I will not be discussing this further. I will, however, put these details into an anonymous Googledoc and post it on twitter, so that various news outlets can publish a retraction.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9336319
Apparently they've been getting a lot of calls about David Ginder, and the level of concern was sufficiently high that they put in the effort of finding him. Anyway, turns out he's absolutely fine - they managed to track down his workplace and catch him there; he explained that he'd had a bit of a meltdown over the weekend but he's bounced back. They actually gave me his number, and I phoned him! We had a lovely chat and Dave explained that he's really embarrassed about everything and ashamed of what he put his internet friends through, so will probably stop posting on the internet for the foreseeable future - he said he saw it as a clean break and he's going to focus on going to therapy and making new friends in Japan. Dave even decided to use some of his savings to book himself into an exclusive ryokan (with a private onsen!) in Hokkaido - he's not taken a holiday in three years so his company's let him take a month off. Lovely bloke, it sounds like this was a real wake up call.
To respect Dave's privacy I will not be discussing this further. I will, however, put these details into an anonymous Googledoc and post it on twitter, so that various news outlets can publish a retraction.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9336319
I feel like Kiwi Farms in general care more about Byuu/Near's wellbeing than the Twitter tardrage brigade. It does not bring me joy to think about someone actually committing suicide. Given what we know about this person, it seems like they have struggled with an unstable mind for a really long time. I feel sympathy for this person experiencing depression because I know it is difficult.
Laughing at stupid things someone is doing on the Internet doesn't mean I want them to kill themselves and I feel as if a lot of farmers can relate to that.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9335905
Laughing at stupid things someone is doing on the Internet doesn't mean I want them to kill themselves and I feel as if a lot of farmers can relate to that.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9335905
Its completely idiotic and goes in the complete opposite of suicide prevention. For a moment, let's say Near did kill himself. And with friends who will listen to him die for 30 minutes or more and then post a manifesto like some fucked up serial killer, I'd probably want to off myself too.
Threatening suicide to get what you want has always been a characteristic of Narsassitic Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. It is a manipulation tactic designed to guilt the opposing party into doing something they wanted. Considering his thread had been inactive for the better part of a year, its quite perplexing as to why he was doing it. If it was true mental illness, he might have been going through a sort of manic episode where he became completely paranoid. Hence the offering of the money, spending on frivolous things and believing that somehow the Kiwifarms were out to get him.
Indulging someone in a manic episode is the most fucking idiotic thing you can do. You don't give them what they want, you get them to a treatment center. The gallows humor of it all is that, not only did Null not know who Near was, he had so little information he couldn't do anything even if he wanted to.
The problem is that troons view this as a legitimate tactic, because they believe without HRT and SRS they will literally die because they will kill themselves. Note: You don't give in to manipulative behavior. Nobody is going to die if they don't get their meds. This is why they're saying Null 'killed' Near, because they believe threatening suicide is a valid tactic. It isn't. It is a manipulative tactic. HRT is not saving lives. SRS is not saving lives. Anyway, before I go off on a tangent, they believe it is legitimate and because Null didn't give in, he's responsible.
Personal responsibility doesn't factor into a troon's thinking. The only person responsible for Near's death (if he's dead) is Near and the guy who listened to his death rattle while masturbating. Those are the two responsible. The guy didn't even bother doing anything, which everyone overlooks. Secondly, Near is a fucking adult. He could have gotten help. He could have left Japan and went to a country with a better psychiatric system. He CHOSE not to. He CHOSE to give up treatment. He CHOSE to isolate himself. He CHOSE to ignore the advice of friends. He CHOSE to live in a country that is hostile to foreigners and doesn't view mental health in any good light. He CHOSE to kill himself. He did NOT interact with this forum on a daily basis. Nobody here interacted with or harassed him. And if they did, they didn't post about it. He didn't have to see this day in, day out. And shut the fuck up if he knew about this 'existing'. Please. If you can't handle shit simply existing, then maybe don't post embarrassing shit, because its going to be saved somewhere on the internet. If he's agonizing over a 14 page inactive thread, then he needed serious mental help. Because he wasn't forced to see us in school, in a job, in class, on Twitter. Nobody here bothered him. He had a 14 page thread that you had to look for to find. It wasn't obvious. So no, we didn't do shit. He tied the noose, he took the pills. Shut the fuck up.
You don't get to go "THEY KILLED HIM". By doing what, talking about him in a thread which you can't find if you Google it and the only way you can read it is to search the website? They have no critical thinking skills. Personal responsibility doesn't factor into it because they're never responsible for anything. Forever alone? Well, its the patriarchy and transphobia! Unattractive? Its the standards of beauty! Fat? My body is bad, it is all genetics! Untreated Mental Illness? Nobody can do anything about it because I'm neurodivergent so I'll self-medicate with weed and HRT. Can't get a job? Pottery is a legitimate major! It is the fault of the world! It is never them. They have no introspective capabilities. They simply can't look at Near and go, "Yeah, maybe he should have done these dozens of other things and that friend should have called somebody instead of giving into his serial killer fantasies." Near's death is on him and only on him.
Plenty of really shitty people have killed themselves and wrote in suicide notes to the people 'responsible', such as family, friends, partners, spouses...It isn't all that uncommon sadly. Just because you kill yourself doesn't mean it was valid to do so or you weren't a really fucking terrible person.
If it were true (I don't think it is, I'm 60/40 on it, a lot of things don't make sense), he was in a delusional manic state. And if he were Bipolar, no wonder none of the meds worked. He'd need lithium. Also note Japan is not the pinnacle of mental health care as they're ashamed by the disabled and mentally ill, and psychiatric medicine is HEAVILY restricted. Which makes him committing suicide by them extremely difficult. And not to mention, modern SSRIs and Tricyclics are EXTREMELY EXTREMELY EXTREMELY difficult to suicide yourself with. It'd take an obscene amount. If he had no benzos, it'd be difficult. Though if he hung himself, of course this point is moot.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9339847
Threatening suicide to get what you want has always been a characteristic of Narsassitic Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. It is a manipulation tactic designed to guilt the opposing party into doing something they wanted. Considering his thread had been inactive for the better part of a year, its quite perplexing as to why he was doing it. If it was true mental illness, he might have been going through a sort of manic episode where he became completely paranoid. Hence the offering of the money, spending on frivolous things and believing that somehow the Kiwifarms were out to get him.
Indulging someone in a manic episode is the most fucking idiotic thing you can do. You don't give them what they want, you get them to a treatment center. The gallows humor of it all is that, not only did Null not know who Near was, he had so little information he couldn't do anything even if he wanted to.
The problem is that troons view this as a legitimate tactic, because they believe without HRT and SRS they will literally die because they will kill themselves. Note: You don't give in to manipulative behavior. Nobody is going to die if they don't get their meds. This is why they're saying Null 'killed' Near, because they believe threatening suicide is a valid tactic. It isn't. It is a manipulative tactic. HRT is not saving lives. SRS is not saving lives. Anyway, before I go off on a tangent, they believe it is legitimate and because Null didn't give in, he's responsible.
Personal responsibility doesn't factor into a troon's thinking. The only person responsible for Near's death (if he's dead) is Near and the guy who listened to his death rattle while masturbating. Those are the two responsible. The guy didn't even bother doing anything, which everyone overlooks. Secondly, Near is a fucking adult. He could have gotten help. He could have left Japan and went to a country with a better psychiatric system. He CHOSE not to. He CHOSE to give up treatment. He CHOSE to isolate himself. He CHOSE to ignore the advice of friends. He CHOSE to live in a country that is hostile to foreigners and doesn't view mental health in any good light. He CHOSE to kill himself. He did NOT interact with this forum on a daily basis. Nobody here interacted with or harassed him. And if they did, they didn't post about it. He didn't have to see this day in, day out. And shut the fuck up if he knew about this 'existing'. Please. If you can't handle shit simply existing, then maybe don't post embarrassing shit, because its going to be saved somewhere on the internet. If he's agonizing over a 14 page inactive thread, then he needed serious mental help. Because he wasn't forced to see us in school, in a job, in class, on Twitter. Nobody here bothered him. He had a 14 page thread that you had to look for to find. It wasn't obvious. So no, we didn't do shit. He tied the noose, he took the pills. Shut the fuck up.
You don't get to go "THEY KILLED HIM". By doing what, talking about him in a thread which you can't find if you Google it and the only way you can read it is to search the website? They have no critical thinking skills. Personal responsibility doesn't factor into it because they're never responsible for anything. Forever alone? Well, its the patriarchy and transphobia! Unattractive? Its the standards of beauty! Fat? My body is bad, it is all genetics! Untreated Mental Illness? Nobody can do anything about it because I'm neurodivergent so I'll self-medicate with weed and HRT. Can't get a job? Pottery is a legitimate major! It is the fault of the world! It is never them. They have no introspective capabilities. They simply can't look at Near and go, "Yeah, maybe he should have done these dozens of other things and that friend should have called somebody instead of giving into his serial killer fantasies." Near's death is on him and only on him.
Plenty of really shitty people have killed themselves and wrote in suicide notes to the people 'responsible', such as family, friends, partners, spouses...It isn't all that uncommon sadly. Just because you kill yourself doesn't mean it was valid to do so or you weren't a really fucking terrible person.
If it were true (I don't think it is, I'm 60/40 on it, a lot of things don't make sense), he was in a delusional manic state. And if he were Bipolar, no wonder none of the meds worked. He'd need lithium. Also note Japan is not the pinnacle of mental health care as they're ashamed by the disabled and mentally ill, and psychiatric medicine is HEAVILY restricted. Which makes him committing suicide by them extremely difficult. And not to mention, modern SSRIs and Tricyclics are EXTREMELY EXTREMELY EXTREMELY difficult to suicide yourself with. It'd take an obscene amount. If he had no benzos, it'd be difficult. Though if he hung himself, of course this point is moot.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9339847
Zoloft (sertraline): Standard antidepressant.
Lexapro (escitalopram): Standard antidepressant.
Remeron (mirtazapine): Standard antidepressant.
Anfranil (clomipramine): Standard antidepressant.
Guanfacine: ADHD drug, used when adderall/vyvanse etc. don't work.
Now for the sperging - all of these pills would have killed him or at least fucked him up enough to need hospitalisation. Serotonin syndrome is the biggest risk here, and at it's worst would have given Byuu seizures or rendered him unconscious. Zoloft and Lexapro by themselves are unlikely to cause a fatal overdose. Remeron is known to cause death in doses well in excess of the normal dose, the number of tablets in this picture shouldn't be enough. Anfranil is where things get interesting. Unlike the other antidepressants, it's a tricyclic antidepressant. These absolutely can kill in an overdose. The effects can take from 30 minutes to six days to set in after taking the tablets. Patients can experience severe hypotension, respiratory failure and cardiac arrythmia and need to be monitored in hospital for days after.
If he taken all of the pills from the email pics, he basically would have passed out and stopped breathing. Theoretically, if someone had called a welfare check on him (the 'friend' from Twitter), he would have been taken to hospital and received supportive care until he recovered.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9371731
Lexapro (escitalopram): Standard antidepressant.
Remeron (mirtazapine): Standard antidepressant.
Anfranil (clomipramine): Standard antidepressant.
Guanfacine: ADHD drug, used when adderall/vyvanse etc. don't work.
Now for the sperging - all of these pills would have killed him or at least fucked him up enough to need hospitalisation. Serotonin syndrome is the biggest risk here, and at it's worst would have given Byuu seizures or rendered him unconscious. Zoloft and Lexapro by themselves are unlikely to cause a fatal overdose. Remeron is known to cause death in doses well in excess of the normal dose, the number of tablets in this picture shouldn't be enough. Anfranil is where things get interesting. Unlike the other antidepressants, it's a tricyclic antidepressant. These absolutely can kill in an overdose. The effects can take from 30 minutes to six days to set in after taking the tablets. Patients can experience severe hypotension, respiratory failure and cardiac arrythmia and need to be monitored in hospital for days after.
If he taken all of the pills from the email pics, he basically would have passed out and stopped breathing. Theoretically, if someone had called a welfare check on him (the 'friend' from Twitter), he would have been taken to hospital and received supportive care until he recovered.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9371731
I imagine that the anons on 4chan who have it out for Byuu used pics from his thread's OP and sent them, among other things, to associates of his. However, that basically amounts to being pissed off you get found out. Byuu of all people should know better that you cannot control what happens with everything you post, especially when you're a notable figure in a community. With that said, this entire saga has yet another example of the Streisand Effect where most people wouldn't even be aware of the thread, myself included, if he didn't try so hard to get it removed.
Now that people know it upsets him, if he pops back up in any capacity, those same 4chan trolls are going to be back at it again along with newcomers who enjoy the show. It also doesn't help he seems to only have decided to blame Kiwifarms/Null this year but every indication in years prior is that he accepted the thread for what it is.
I lurked /emugen/ on 4chan while the thread was down and some anons mentioned Byuu had popped in there before emailing Null and that you could find what was said on the archives but I didn't bother to check at the time. The truth really seems to be that insane anons are the real perps but he blamed Kiwifarms to try to get the thread removed, as if that would do any good.
Personal theory is that he's trying to re-invent himself (again) and as far as he's concerned the Near online persona is dead and he's probably already using another one. I don't think he can live in a world where he is just another person though and will long for the days of attention received from emulator development.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9342840
Now that people know it upsets him, if he pops back up in any capacity, those same 4chan trolls are going to be back at it again along with newcomers who enjoy the show. It also doesn't help he seems to only have decided to blame Kiwifarms/Null this year but every indication in years prior is that he accepted the thread for what it is.
I lurked /emugen/ on 4chan while the thread was down and some anons mentioned Byuu had popped in there before emailing Null and that you could find what was said on the archives but I didn't bother to check at the time. The truth really seems to be that insane anons are the real perps but he blamed Kiwifarms to try to get the thread removed, as if that would do any good.
Personal theory is that he's trying to re-invent himself (again) and as far as he's concerned the Near online persona is dead and he's probably already using another one. I don't think he can live in a world where he is just another person though and will long for the days of attention received from emulator development.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9342840
There isn't much money in that I don't think. I could be wrong. The fact it's underground means that it may be tolerated but at some point when people want to start earning off the backs of others, it will NOT be tolerated any more. Many such cases in the reverse engineering world. Very few are foolish enough to try to make money. They know they will be arrested first for breaking obvious laws. They are too intelligent to say that they didn't know what they are doing. This is why they hide their tracks so much and it is so difficult to get in to reverse engineering (Cracking) without passing several shit tests first.
Having said that, the skills he had were definitely 'leet'. There aren't many people in the world at that level. I pulled a figure out of my ass before and said he was in the top 1 percentile. I stand by that. I might be wrong. But he's up there.
It is very very credible that someone like this with these skills would be head-hunted by a corporation, and especially a Japanese corporation, to reverse hardware. Reversing software is one thing, but ROM Hacking and Cracking is another. There just aren't that many people who are that autistic and still functional. Any one else clever enough to do it, and not autistic, would find other ways to make money, because as anyone who has ever delved in to the reverse engineering (cracking) scene will know, it's fucking boring, long work.
It's one thing to know when to use SoftIce, another to know when to use IDA. It's one thing to know when to use WindASM or MASM, but another to know when you actually have good chances of Decompiling as opposed to Disassembling. Java is a good bet for Decompilation, C++ not so much.
Near knew all this. He was a master. Not just any master. He was a guru. And this is what ate away at him. No one recognizing him. I see you motherfucker, I know you. Deep deep respect and kudos from me. He ate Assembly language for breakfast and could probably quote you every mnemonic in Randall P Hyde's seminal work.
Near was a freak, and not for just being a tranny. If you haven't read Christina Cifuentes' seminal paper on cracking Win32 architecture, then you may not know how much of a superstar Near is in the cracking field. Hell, even other crackers probably never heard of this dude as it's just so fucking obscure what he dedicated his life to.
So many regrets. And he voiced those very regrets himself. In pretty much the same for that anyone in the reversing game (cracking) knows, fuck, I just spent 8 years trying to crack HASP, now I have cancer and I am gonna die in six months. Many such cases. Sad!
I said before about knowing of hackers (crackers) on the scene that woke up one day to find 10 years have gone (quite literally but eh, Pink Floyd), and they just want to go outside to touch grass.
Reverse engineering/cracking is fucking addictive.
If you want to read Christina Cifuentes' thesis on Reverse Compilation Techniques, then go here - https://yurichev.com/mirrors/DCC_decompilation_thesis.pdf
-----
Having been involved in the scene, and a member of certain 'secret' forums, for several years now (I'm still in touch with some of them) I can tell you that all these big corporations reverse (crack) the hell out of each other all the time.
Especially the Japs. Even more the Chinks. What, how the fuck did you think they got a 4/5th generation fighter jet without scanning out the plans that were given to them by American Traitors such as Biden and son, and all that went before them? At least the Japs are known to have got the plans for their 4/5th generation fighters by legal means.
Big big money there. And you got a corporation to hide yo' ass, all along with their international corporate lawyers.
No fucking wonder that Near wanted to vanish in to the night.
I've known people hired to reverse (crack) fucking washing machines, and people hired to reverse (crack) fucking printers. They all had one thing in common - anonymity. First rule of reversing (cracking). Serious hiding, because any ties to them might be tied back to a multi-national corporation they were working for.
Reversing (cracking) might be the second oldest trade in the world next to you know what is Numbah WAN (me luv u long time). If not, it's the 3rd or 4th or wtf.
Mmmmm... see how many units they are selling! How the fuck do they do that?
Someone like Near would have been head-hunted to near death. So many corporation trying to outdo each other, so little time. Any past transgression like reversing (cracking) Nintendo could have been parlayed between the major players. Sometimes you just don't want to go there. You takes yer losses. As the other man does. You only fight battles you have a fairly good chance of winning.
I may do a deep dive on Near. I find this whole thing utterly fascinating, whilst being twice removed from any emotional shit - I don't care about teh farms getting dossed (no offence) because I know a bigger game is afoot.
One last thing on my little spergout: The fact that Near offered his services as a humble programmer to the farms, stinks to high heaven. Crackers of that type, and I do know one or two, see that whole markup language like HTML or PHP, or PERL, or anything to do with the LAMP stack really, as supremely fucking annoying. The only reason he would offer this is for sabotage. Every time I got to their secret website these days, it looks like it's been coded by a fucking monkey. Yet they work in Australia, and are from Bulgaria/Romania.
Yeah, take my life savings, plus I'll be your programmer slave for whatever you want done. Fucking Joker.
Still getting my head around why Josh offered him possible work, apart from the fact he was covering himself and reverse baiting ol' Near in good turn!
Anyway, tonight I am drunk, but in the morning I shall still be ugly, or something like that.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9354972
Just a few thoughts...
Seriously that fucking ars tehnica is fucking pozzed to fuck. There is some great bullying going on there where one user bullys another user that questions if Near is in fact dead, and like, wtf is the proof. He then says he has changed his mind, he now believes he is dead. And after admitting that after getting bullied, he gets bullied some more and downvoted for the wrongthink. Fucking hilarious. I've archived it. That bit is on the third archive below:
https://archive.vn/XJgko
https://archive.vn/Zm1VW
https://archive.vn/RksUK
You need to scroll down.
Those comments are really something else. The amount of frothing hatred for the farms is just off the charts. Some of it is signalling but some of it is good old fashioned hate speech wanting us dead, but not before we have been tortured. Guess I'm a Kiwi Farmer now, fam. I've been digging through some other stuff, but if some other kind farmer would like to go through those archives I just posted above, then a few choice screenshots would be golden. Thanks in advance!
And for someone that was so loved by the community there, no one has made a post in his 'obituary' thread for over 3 fucking days. Gone, and also forgotten, it would seem.
OG post that I archived and is still up:
https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2021...from-complete-perfection/?comments=1&start=40
From there I came across Near's other website that is still up: https://near.sh/
It's dated 2021-06-01, so probably January of this year was its last update? It was archived 6 months ago, but I did a new one JIC. It's tech stuff. As you would expect. Boy, he really was gay for Bahamut-lagoon wasn't he?
Bahamut Lagoon — Near's Respite
Pages are refusing to be archived, oh well. I guess this is old news as well, but maybe it will function as a little recap to some that missed it.
Also came across this page -
https://gamerant.com/snes-emulator-near-byuu-online-harassment/
https://archive.vn/mgIc2
Near, the developer of the bsnes emulator and lead on numerous fan translation projects, takes their own life following online harassment.
The utter certainty with which they speak when there is no proof is just fucking retarded now. I can't wait for Near to pop up somewhere, even it will be six months time. He will resurface. If he did actually kill himself then we will find out before too much longer, if we ever find out at all.
I also found another web page of his on archive org.
byuu's homepage
This is a snapshot from Feb 2015 and the post I'm about to quote is from 2014, so about 7 years ago. Does this sound familiar?
He talks about his diminishing health and how programming has lost its magic for him, that he can now no longer do marathon hacking runs, and he mentions his loathing for 'web' languages like PHP along with Apache.
I've been having frequent chest pains and issues with lethargy, which my GP is either too incompetent or apathetic to help me with. So my output has been reduced quite significantly. I've been trying to take up healthier eating and exercise to try and improve my health. All the same, I find it increasingly difficult to pull off marathon coding sessions any longer. And even when I do, it leaves me out of commission for the next day or two.
With regard to the programming stuff, and keep in mind he offered his services to Null for these in his little extortion attempt:
But frankly, I've grown sick of Apache, PHP, and phpBB. I am so tired of bloated, buggy, poorly designed software. So now I am further working on designing lighter weight replacements with my usual emphasis on minimalism. Just because it's the web, that doesn't mean I want to throw away native code performance and compile-time type safety. And I am so tired of fighting mod_rewrite to do simple things like map a subfolder to a subdomain.
This is like 7 fucking years ago he was feeling this way! He later abandoned any idea of writing his own programming languages due to time and health restrictions, well, of course...
You can read the full lot in the spoiler on the web page.
One last thing from that archive - the most recent - are his general thoughts and a good indicator to his mood at the time. This would have been 21 Dec 2020 or earlier from when it was archived:
https://web.archive.org/web/20201221174253/https://byuu.net/advice/shoulders-of-giants
Sounds pretty chipper to me!
Actually, I can see now the earliest archive of that was 2019-10-01
https://web.archive.org/web/20200322151323/https://byuu.net/advice/shoulders-of-giants
So from being depressed and in decling health in 2014, he has bounced back to being fairly optimistic, and the fruits of his labours bare this out as well because he did a lot of great work between then and 2019 when he made that closing post on his website. He couldn't have been that fucking depressed in the interim to complete that body of work.
Or maybe he was. I've known alcoholics and I've know workaholics. Near was definitely the latter. Both use these modes for maladaptive coping mechanisms. Did he finally just crack? No pun intended. Egged on by a failed relationship and hormone fucking his body/brain metabolism in to a fucking right old 2 and 8?
One thing that stood out as well for me in this little detective session. He posts his face to his official twitter channel. Not the other one that is locked and is actually linked by ars technica so I assume it is genuine. But on his public and still available twitter, he posts the same shot as he sent to null: I just can't smile...
It would be interesting to know the timeline of when he posted that as opposed to when he sent the shot to Null, because it actually makes quite a difference to the credibility he has. I expect he only posted that after he saw Null posted his face, hence he knew he had nothing to lose. It would be more emotional blackmail and reverse propaganda for his cause.
This fucker knew what he was doing. Not a thing he did that was not calculated as far as his human debugging process/brain could carry it.
Who knows, the old fox might just have outsmarted us all.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9368343
Having said that, the skills he had were definitely 'leet'. There aren't many people in the world at that level. I pulled a figure out of my ass before and said he was in the top 1 percentile. I stand by that. I might be wrong. But he's up there.
It is very very credible that someone like this with these skills would be head-hunted by a corporation, and especially a Japanese corporation, to reverse hardware. Reversing software is one thing, but ROM Hacking and Cracking is another. There just aren't that many people who are that autistic and still functional. Any one else clever enough to do it, and not autistic, would find other ways to make money, because as anyone who has ever delved in to the reverse engineering (cracking) scene will know, it's fucking boring, long work.
It's one thing to know when to use SoftIce, another to know when to use IDA. It's one thing to know when to use WindASM or MASM, but another to know when you actually have good chances of Decompiling as opposed to Disassembling. Java is a good bet for Decompilation, C++ not so much.
Near knew all this. He was a master. Not just any master. He was a guru. And this is what ate away at him. No one recognizing him. I see you motherfucker, I know you. Deep deep respect and kudos from me. He ate Assembly language for breakfast and could probably quote you every mnemonic in Randall P Hyde's seminal work.
Near was a freak, and not for just being a tranny. If you haven't read Christina Cifuentes' seminal paper on cracking Win32 architecture, then you may not know how much of a superstar Near is in the cracking field. Hell, even other crackers probably never heard of this dude as it's just so fucking obscure what he dedicated his life to.
So many regrets. And he voiced those very regrets himself. In pretty much the same for that anyone in the reversing game (cracking) knows, fuck, I just spent 8 years trying to crack HASP, now I have cancer and I am gonna die in six months. Many such cases. Sad!
I said before about knowing of hackers (crackers) on the scene that woke up one day to find 10 years have gone (quite literally but eh, Pink Floyd), and they just want to go outside to touch grass.
Reverse engineering/cracking is fucking addictive.
If you want to read Christina Cifuentes' thesis on Reverse Compilation Techniques, then go here - https://yurichev.com/mirrors/DCC_decompilation_thesis.pdf
-----
Having been involved in the scene, and a member of certain 'secret' forums, for several years now (I'm still in touch with some of them) I can tell you that all these big corporations reverse (crack) the hell out of each other all the time.
Especially the Japs. Even more the Chinks. What, how the fuck did you think they got a 4/5th generation fighter jet without scanning out the plans that were given to them by American Traitors such as Biden and son, and all that went before them? At least the Japs are known to have got the plans for their 4/5th generation fighters by legal means.
Big big money there. And you got a corporation to hide yo' ass, all along with their international corporate lawyers.
No fucking wonder that Near wanted to vanish in to the night.
I've known people hired to reverse (crack) fucking washing machines, and people hired to reverse (crack) fucking printers. They all had one thing in common - anonymity. First rule of reversing (cracking). Serious hiding, because any ties to them might be tied back to a multi-national corporation they were working for.
Reversing (cracking) might be the second oldest trade in the world next to you know what is Numbah WAN (me luv u long time). If not, it's the 3rd or 4th or wtf.
Mmmmm... see how many units they are selling! How the fuck do they do that?
Someone like Near would have been head-hunted to near death. So many corporation trying to outdo each other, so little time. Any past transgression like reversing (cracking) Nintendo could have been parlayed between the major players. Sometimes you just don't want to go there. You takes yer losses. As the other man does. You only fight battles you have a fairly good chance of winning.
I may do a deep dive on Near. I find this whole thing utterly fascinating, whilst being twice removed from any emotional shit - I don't care about teh farms getting dossed (no offence) because I know a bigger game is afoot.
One last thing on my little spergout: The fact that Near offered his services as a humble programmer to the farms, stinks to high heaven. Crackers of that type, and I do know one or two, see that whole markup language like HTML or PHP, or PERL, or anything to do with the LAMP stack really, as supremely fucking annoying. The only reason he would offer this is for sabotage. Every time I got to their secret website these days, it looks like it's been coded by a fucking monkey. Yet they work in Australia, and are from Bulgaria/Romania.
Yeah, take my life savings, plus I'll be your programmer slave for whatever you want done. Fucking Joker.
Still getting my head around why Josh offered him possible work, apart from the fact he was covering himself and reverse baiting ol' Near in good turn!
Anyway, tonight I am drunk, but in the morning I shall still be ugly, or something like that.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9354972
Just a few thoughts...
Seriously that fucking ars tehnica is fucking pozzed to fuck. There is some great bullying going on there where one user bullys another user that questions if Near is in fact dead, and like, wtf is the proof. He then says he has changed his mind, he now believes he is dead. And after admitting that after getting bullied, he gets bullied some more and downvoted for the wrongthink. Fucking hilarious. I've archived it. That bit is on the third archive below:
https://archive.vn/XJgko
https://archive.vn/Zm1VW
https://archive.vn/RksUK
You need to scroll down.
Those comments are really something else. The amount of frothing hatred for the farms is just off the charts. Some of it is signalling but some of it is good old fashioned hate speech wanting us dead, but not before we have been tortured. Guess I'm a Kiwi Farmer now, fam. I've been digging through some other stuff, but if some other kind farmer would like to go through those archives I just posted above, then a few choice screenshots would be golden. Thanks in advance!
And for someone that was so loved by the community there, no one has made a post in his 'obituary' thread for over 3 fucking days. Gone, and also forgotten, it would seem.
OG post that I archived and is still up:
https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2021...from-complete-perfection/?comments=1&start=40
From there I came across Near's other website that is still up: https://near.sh/
It's dated 2021-06-01, so probably January of this year was its last update? It was archived 6 months ago, but I did a new one JIC. It's tech stuff. As you would expect. Boy, he really was gay for Bahamut-lagoon wasn't he?
Bahamut Lagoon — Near's Respite
Pages are refusing to be archived, oh well. I guess this is old news as well, but maybe it will function as a little recap to some that missed it.
Also came across this page -
https://gamerant.com/snes-emulator-near-byuu-online-harassment/
https://archive.vn/mgIc2
SNES Emulator Developer Takes Own Life Following Online Harassment
Near, the developer of the bsnes emulator and lead on numerous fan translation projects, takes their own life following online harassment.
The utter certainty with which they speak when there is no proof is just fucking retarded now. I can't wait for Near to pop up somewhere, even it will be six months time. He will resurface. If he did actually kill himself then we will find out before too much longer, if we ever find out at all.
I also found another web page of his on archive org.
byuu's homepage
This is a snapshot from Feb 2015 and the post I'm about to quote is from 2014, so about 7 years ago. Does this sound familiar?
My emulator, higan, is now over ten years old.
I must stress right away that work will continue on the project into the foreseeable future. But, there's no denying work has slowed down immensely. In fact, there hasn't been much of any progress since January. There are several reasons for this, which I'll go over.
In January, I was in the process of wrapping up the finishing touches on loki, my SNES debugger, in preparing for a v095 release.
The first major roadblock was Debian's decision to acquiesce on systemd. At that time, Debian was my primary development operating system. Having suffered through years of broken audio by the same egomaniacal Redhat developers, I wasn't eager to repeat the experience by introducing such fascinating features as having an HTTP server that generates QR codes as part of my init system. I fundamentally believe systemd to be poorly designed and a major step backward for Linux. But with Linus asleep at the wheel while Redhat turns Linux into Windows, the writing was on the wall: it was time for me to move on.
This led to a few months of crash-course learning FreeBSD. Now, FreeBSD makes for a wonderful server, but is not exactly the best way to run a desktop. It can be done, and to great effect, but it requires an immense amount of effort and dedication.
Due to most developers only considering Linux, this leads to lots of portability issues that result in bugs which slip past port maintainers. I battled through issues with font rendering, libvte crashing terminal instances, Thunar refreshing and resorting on every gedit save due to the latter's insistence on creating temporary files for every save, mousepad crashing when opening any file an even multiple of 4KB due to an out-of-bounds memory access which apparently was hidden by the Linux implementation of mmap, more Thunar issues in failing to update file types and file sizes in its displays, ibus issues with anthy and mozc, browser issues with large images, and on and on.
The worst part was probably the horribly buggy binary nvidia driver. It was so unstable, taking my entire system down, that I went back to using vesa. By some miracle, my graphics card actually has a 2560x1600 vesa mode. After manually rewriting my MTRR tables, I've found I actually get rather decent performance. By multi-threading my software XShm renderer, I can even run my emulator and watch movies just fine.
For the most part, I was able to work around these software issues. In many instances, I had to switch to new software programs, or revert to older ones. For instance, the Firefox team decided to completely change its user interface to the braindead Australis design, and to hell with anyone who didn't like it. Classic Theme Restorer may get something about 80% close to what you're used to on Windows, but is an unmitigated disaster on Xorg.
After Metro, Unity, Gnome 3, KDE 4, Firefox Australis, and on and on; it has become painfully clear to me that I cannot rely on software vendors to not radically disrupt my workflow whenever some wide-eyed kid fresh out of college decides it's time to completely redesign applications that were perfectly fine already. I'm not against change when it leads to better ways of doing things. But I am vehemently opposed to change for the sake of it. And my desktop is not a god damned tablet, you stupid fucks. But well, as they say, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
Upon attempting to write replacements for critical programs, such as a file manager and text editor, it became clear that my UI abstraction layer, phoenix, was not going to cut it. I had to go back to the drawing board and work on the largest redesign that the project has ever seen. This required many new components in my template library, nall, such as shared objects and IPC. I then added a lot of power to phoenix, mostly focusing on the GTK2 target. I've added new widgets, new functions, and an entirely new shared memory model that will greatly aid in writing dynamically generated interfaces, among other things.
And just as I was finishing this up, the godawful web host I was using, InMotion Hosting, decided to reveal their gross incompetence. First, they managed to botch an Apache upgrade, resulting in all of my PHP files being accessible as plain-text. So anyone typing in /config.php would be greeted with the plain-text login credentials for MySQL. Then, a few weeks later, another update corrupted half of my phpBB SQL tables. Repairing didn't work: permissions were completely broken, allowing any user to edit any other user's post, page refreshes were broken, and many other similar issues arose. I had no choice but to drop five years worth of posting history and start over. But no way in hell was I going to start over on that host.
And so now, I've had to move my site over to a new host. This time, I decided to go the VPS route so that I could be in control of software updates. I certainly couldn't do any worse than my previous host. Thankfully I have plenty of experience in running and securing web servers, so this wasn't very painful.
But frankly, I've grown sick of Apache, PHP, and phpBB. I am so tired of bloated, buggy, poorly designed software. So now I am further working on designing lighter weight replacements with my usual emphasis on minimalism. Just because it's the web, that doesn't mean I want to throw away native code performance and compile-time type safety. And I am so tired of fighting mod_rewrite to do simple things like map a subfolder to a subdomain.
I've been having frequent chest pains and issues with lethargy, which my GP is either too incompetent or apathetic to help me with. So my output has been reduced quite significantly. I've been trying to take up healthier eating and exercise to try and improve my health. All the same, I find it increasingly difficult to pull off marathon coding sessions any longer. And even when I do, it leaves me out of commission for the next day or two.
So as you can see, it's just been one hell of an awful year. I've been jumping from fire to fire, struggling to keep everything afloat. And it's been taking a toll on my enjoyment of programming. It seems like the more work I try and do, the more work I have waiting for me. I can never really complete anything when I keep getting new things dumped on me all of the time.
I have an incredible backlog spanning years worth of work here. I have to map out and scan nearly 1500 games, I have to do all of the programming work for a fan translation of Tengai Makyou Zero, I have to finish up the Windows, Cocoa and Qt4 phoenix targets, so that I can continue on the design of higan and loki, I have to write a myriad of desktop applications, up to and possibly including a web browser frontend (for either Webkit or Gecko), and then I have all of my backlogged hardware research on the BS-X, Cx4, etc, and it just keeps going. All the while dealing with diminishing health.
Yet when it comes to all of this ... I really feel that I've already accomplished more than I ever wanted to or thought I could on SNES emulation. I no longer feel like I am facing strong challenges that force me to grow, but rather an infinite stream of tedium and maintenance. I'm not saying I necssarily hate programming, just that it's lost its magic.
The most fun I've been having lately has been in attempting to improve my Japanese knowledge through some fan translations of manga (holy hell is that language a nightmare to learn), and getting a bit back into drawing again.
So, what I hope to do from this point out is to start winding down on my programming projects, and focus on new ventures while I'm still young enough to take on large new challenges in fields I have little to no experience in. Again, I don't mean to seek to abandon my projects, but to get them more suitable for a slower development pace, so that I can start branching out into new areas.
I must stress right away that work will continue on the project into the foreseeable future. But, there's no denying work has slowed down immensely. In fact, there hasn't been much of any progress since January. There are several reasons for this, which I'll go over.
In January, I was in the process of wrapping up the finishing touches on loki, my SNES debugger, in preparing for a v095 release.
The first major roadblock was Debian's decision to acquiesce on systemd. At that time, Debian was my primary development operating system. Having suffered through years of broken audio by the same egomaniacal Redhat developers, I wasn't eager to repeat the experience by introducing such fascinating features as having an HTTP server that generates QR codes as part of my init system. I fundamentally believe systemd to be poorly designed and a major step backward for Linux. But with Linus asleep at the wheel while Redhat turns Linux into Windows, the writing was on the wall: it was time for me to move on.
This led to a few months of crash-course learning FreeBSD. Now, FreeBSD makes for a wonderful server, but is not exactly the best way to run a desktop. It can be done, and to great effect, but it requires an immense amount of effort and dedication.
Due to most developers only considering Linux, this leads to lots of portability issues that result in bugs which slip past port maintainers. I battled through issues with font rendering, libvte crashing terminal instances, Thunar refreshing and resorting on every gedit save due to the latter's insistence on creating temporary files for every save, mousepad crashing when opening any file an even multiple of 4KB due to an out-of-bounds memory access which apparently was hidden by the Linux implementation of mmap, more Thunar issues in failing to update file types and file sizes in its displays, ibus issues with anthy and mozc, browser issues with large images, and on and on.
The worst part was probably the horribly buggy binary nvidia driver. It was so unstable, taking my entire system down, that I went back to using vesa. By some miracle, my graphics card actually has a 2560x1600 vesa mode. After manually rewriting my MTRR tables, I've found I actually get rather decent performance. By multi-threading my software XShm renderer, I can even run my emulator and watch movies just fine.
For the most part, I was able to work around these software issues. In many instances, I had to switch to new software programs, or revert to older ones. For instance, the Firefox team decided to completely change its user interface to the braindead Australis design, and to hell with anyone who didn't like it. Classic Theme Restorer may get something about 80% close to what you're used to on Windows, but is an unmitigated disaster on Xorg.
After Metro, Unity, Gnome 3, KDE 4, Firefox Australis, and on and on; it has become painfully clear to me that I cannot rely on software vendors to not radically disrupt my workflow whenever some wide-eyed kid fresh out of college decides it's time to completely redesign applications that were perfectly fine already. I'm not against change when it leads to better ways of doing things. But I am vehemently opposed to change for the sake of it. And my desktop is not a god damned tablet, you stupid fucks. But well, as they say, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
Upon attempting to write replacements for critical programs, such as a file manager and text editor, it became clear that my UI abstraction layer, phoenix, was not going to cut it. I had to go back to the drawing board and work on the largest redesign that the project has ever seen. This required many new components in my template library, nall, such as shared objects and IPC. I then added a lot of power to phoenix, mostly focusing on the GTK2 target. I've added new widgets, new functions, and an entirely new shared memory model that will greatly aid in writing dynamically generated interfaces, among other things.
And just as I was finishing this up, the godawful web host I was using, InMotion Hosting, decided to reveal their gross incompetence. First, they managed to botch an Apache upgrade, resulting in all of my PHP files being accessible as plain-text. So anyone typing in /config.php would be greeted with the plain-text login credentials for MySQL. Then, a few weeks later, another update corrupted half of my phpBB SQL tables. Repairing didn't work: permissions were completely broken, allowing any user to edit any other user's post, page refreshes were broken, and many other similar issues arose. I had no choice but to drop five years worth of posting history and start over. But no way in hell was I going to start over on that host.
And so now, I've had to move my site over to a new host. This time, I decided to go the VPS route so that I could be in control of software updates. I certainly couldn't do any worse than my previous host. Thankfully I have plenty of experience in running and securing web servers, so this wasn't very painful.
But frankly, I've grown sick of Apache, PHP, and phpBB. I am so tired of bloated, buggy, poorly designed software. So now I am further working on designing lighter weight replacements with my usual emphasis on minimalism. Just because it's the web, that doesn't mean I want to throw away native code performance and compile-time type safety. And I am so tired of fighting mod_rewrite to do simple things like map a subfolder to a subdomain.
I've been having frequent chest pains and issues with lethargy, which my GP is either too incompetent or apathetic to help me with. So my output has been reduced quite significantly. I've been trying to take up healthier eating and exercise to try and improve my health. All the same, I find it increasingly difficult to pull off marathon coding sessions any longer. And even when I do, it leaves me out of commission for the next day or two.
So as you can see, it's just been one hell of an awful year. I've been jumping from fire to fire, struggling to keep everything afloat. And it's been taking a toll on my enjoyment of programming. It seems like the more work I try and do, the more work I have waiting for me. I can never really complete anything when I keep getting new things dumped on me all of the time.
I have an incredible backlog spanning years worth of work here. I have to map out and scan nearly 1500 games, I have to do all of the programming work for a fan translation of Tengai Makyou Zero, I have to finish up the Windows, Cocoa and Qt4 phoenix targets, so that I can continue on the design of higan and loki, I have to write a myriad of desktop applications, up to and possibly including a web browser frontend (for either Webkit or Gecko), and then I have all of my backlogged hardware research on the BS-X, Cx4, etc, and it just keeps going. All the while dealing with diminishing health.
Yet when it comes to all of this ... I really feel that I've already accomplished more than I ever wanted to or thought I could on SNES emulation. I no longer feel like I am facing strong challenges that force me to grow, but rather an infinite stream of tedium and maintenance. I'm not saying I necssarily hate programming, just that it's lost its magic.
The most fun I've been having lately has been in attempting to improve my Japanese knowledge through some fan translations of manga (holy hell is that language a nightmare to learn), and getting a bit back into drawing again.
So, what I hope to do from this point out is to start winding down on my programming projects, and focus on new ventures while I'm still young enough to take on large new challenges in fields I have little to no experience in. Again, I don't mean to seek to abandon my projects, but to get them more suitable for a slower development pace, so that I can start branching out into new areas.
He talks about his diminishing health and how programming has lost its magic for him, that he can now no longer do marathon hacking runs, and he mentions his loathing for 'web' languages like PHP along with Apache.
I've been having frequent chest pains and issues with lethargy, which my GP is either too incompetent or apathetic to help me with. So my output has been reduced quite significantly. I've been trying to take up healthier eating and exercise to try and improve my health. All the same, I find it increasingly difficult to pull off marathon coding sessions any longer. And even when I do, it leaves me out of commission for the next day or two.
With regard to the programming stuff, and keep in mind he offered his services to Null for these in his little extortion attempt:
But frankly, I've grown sick of Apache, PHP, and phpBB. I am so tired of bloated, buggy, poorly designed software. So now I am further working on designing lighter weight replacements with my usual emphasis on minimalism. Just because it's the web, that doesn't mean I want to throw away native code performance and compile-time type safety. And I am so tired of fighting mod_rewrite to do simple things like map a subfolder to a subdomain.
This is like 7 fucking years ago he was feeling this way! He later abandoned any idea of writing his own programming languages due to time and health restrictions, well, of course...
You can read the full lot in the spoiler on the web page.
One last thing from that archive - the most recent - are his general thoughts and a good indicator to his mood at the time. This would have been 21 Dec 2020 or earlier from when it was archived:
https://web.archive.org/web/20201221174253/https://byuu.net/advice/shoulders-of-giants
I believe the advice in this article applies much more broadly than just emulation, but nonetheless I am going to present this article from said vantage point.
When looking to begin a new emulator project, where to begin can be very daunting: is it okay to look at the source code of other emulators? To read notes that explain how to implement various details? Or is that just copying? And how do you make a positive difference in the scene?
When I started on bsnes back in 2004, I did not start from scratch: I started with the combined wisdom and research of dozens of talented individuals that helped to reverse engineer and emulate the Super Ninendo between 1996 and 2004. I had a full eight years of progress at my fingertips: source code, documentation, forum posts, and bugfix changelogs from the work of ZSNES, Snes9X, et al. This, to me, was invaluable.
(I also had six years of my own experience in reverse engineering SNES games for the fan translations I had worked on, which was also a benefit.)
If you search back to the early days of bsnes, you’ll find that I was able to catch up to their general level of accuracy and compatibility within only six months, in spite of bsnes being the first major article I had written.
To claim that this represents some extraordinary talent of mine would be facetious: I had a lot of help, and I’m not ashamed of that. I leaned on the folks who came before me, studied their work, asked them questions, and benefited greatly from their patience and assistance.
Folks like anomie, TRAC, etc helped make bsnes a reality. I would not be where I am today without them.
After the first six months of development, it was now my turn to improve the state of the art. I developed new techniques to more accurately analyze the cycle timings of the SNES, and I wrote hundreds of test ROMs to suss out countless edge cases and new behaviors.
After relying on pre-existing knowledge, I had to transition to discovering new details myself. This required a hardware setup and knowledge of how to write programs for the SNES. Even though I technically had that from my days of ROM hacking, such a thing is not necessary to begin writing a new emulator, that can come later on. These days, for most major retro systems, there is enough information to create relatively high-quality emulators without ever even owning the original hardware. Case in point: the MiSTer SNES emulation core was written by someone using only bsnes’ source code as a reference, having never even owned a Super Nintendo!
bsnes has now been under active development for the past fifteen years. But I haven’t forgotten my origins. Instead, I’ve strived to give back. You can see my contributions in pretty much anything in the SNES space today: I have answered questions for and/or donated source code to Snes9X, SNESGT, Mesen-S, the Super Nt, etc.
My source code has always been open source, and where required I’ve even relicensed it for use in other projects, such as my APU core for Snes9X’s non-commercial license.
And just as I was able to catch up to ZSNES and Snes9X before me in only a tiny fraction of the time, modern SNES emulators from 2018 onward have quickly been able to catch up to me.
The Super Nt was created in only nine months, and Mesen-S in only four months.
As an example, Speedy Gonzales for the SNES was an infamous bug. For around 15 years, no emulator could figure out how to run this game. It would deadlock in the middle of stage 6-2 for seemingly no reason.
I spent approximately eighty hours of a two-week period reverse engineering the game, and trying to understand what was happening. It was actually pretty easy to get the game playable: there were several ways of getting around the problem area of code. But only one way was the right way. Implement any of the other ways would mean my emulator had two bugs instead of one. Potentially an incorrect fix would end up breaking a different game in the future.
And so the challenge was ruling out every other possibility through devising a comprehensive and exhausting set of tests, so that I could be sure I had it right.
I eventually reached this conclusion: the game was reading from an unmapped memory address, waiting for a bit to be set that never would be. But by sheer chance, after thousands of scanlines, an Hblank DMA transfer would fetch a value with said bit set, and if the cycles aligned just right, this value would remain on the bus, and the loop condition would terminate.
After this was discovered, I was able to provide the answer to other SNES emulator developers, who could then implement this behavior within a few seconds.
This is no different than all of the bugfixes I gleaned by reading through the old Snes9X changelogs and forum posts about problematic games.
I know it can seem like it, if you view emulation as taking a test and other emulators as having the answer key for the test. And by all means, if it is your ambition to learn how to reverse engineer hardware for the sake of it, you are most welcome to not study what was done before you.
But if your goal is preservation of the original hardware, then it is not in any way “cheating.” It is simply being practical and making use of the resources that are available to you.
We have limited time in this world, and the hardware we seek to preserve is not getting any younger, nor any more readily available. Eventually, it will not be possible to pick up working original hardware to analyze. That is already the case for some very old and rare systems, and even more modern ones have become prohibitively expensive and fragile, such as the Atari Jaguar CD.
There’s no need to reinvent the wheel: make use of what tools we have, and then strive to build an even better wheel. Any lingering guilt you have can easily be absolved once you give back to the community.
My hope is that the broader community can see emulation as team effort, and not as a competition. It isn’t about who did it first, or who did it best. It’s about making sure the works of video game studios can live on, and that our great-grandchildren can, if they so choose, look back and see how video gaming began.
No one in emulation is a god or a king. No one is more important than anyone else. We’re all in this together, collectively.
Again, you don’t have to rely on existing knowledge. You are welcome to forge your own path. But there should be no shame in standing on the shoulders of those who came before you.
Thank you for reading, I hope this will help some of you to get started. I look forward to seeing what you come up with one day soon. Good luck, and don’t forget, we’re here for you!
When looking to begin a new emulator project, where to begin can be very daunting: is it okay to look at the source code of other emulators? To read notes that explain how to implement various details? Or is that just copying? And how do you make a positive difference in the scene?
My Perspective
When I started on bsnes back in 2004, I did not start from scratch: I started with the combined wisdom and research of dozens of talented individuals that helped to reverse engineer and emulate the Super Ninendo between 1996 and 2004. I had a full eight years of progress at my fingertips: source code, documentation, forum posts, and bugfix changelogs from the work of ZSNES, Snes9X, et al. This, to me, was invaluable.
(I also had six years of my own experience in reverse engineering SNES games for the fan translations I had worked on, which was also a benefit.)
If you search back to the early days of bsnes, you’ll find that I was able to catch up to their general level of accuracy and compatibility within only six months, in spite of bsnes being the first major article I had written.
To claim that this represents some extraordinary talent of mine would be facetious: I had a lot of help, and I’m not ashamed of that. I leaned on the folks who came before me, studied their work, asked them questions, and benefited greatly from their patience and assistance.
Folks like anomie, TRAC, etc helped make bsnes a reality. I would not be where I am today without them.
Success Begets Success
After the first six months of development, it was now my turn to improve the state of the art. I developed new techniques to more accurately analyze the cycle timings of the SNES, and I wrote hundreds of test ROMs to suss out countless edge cases and new behaviors.
After relying on pre-existing knowledge, I had to transition to discovering new details myself. This required a hardware setup and knowledge of how to write programs for the SNES. Even though I technically had that from my days of ROM hacking, such a thing is not necessary to begin writing a new emulator, that can come later on. These days, for most major retro systems, there is enough information to create relatively high-quality emulators without ever even owning the original hardware. Case in point: the MiSTer SNES emulation core was written by someone using only bsnes’ source code as a reference, having never even owned a Super Nintendo!
Returning the Favor
bsnes has now been under active development for the past fifteen years. But I haven’t forgotten my origins. Instead, I’ve strived to give back. You can see my contributions in pretty much anything in the SNES space today: I have answered questions for and/or donated source code to Snes9X, SNESGT, Mesen-S, the Super Nt, etc.
My source code has always been open source, and where required I’ve even relicensed it for use in other projects, such as my APU core for Snes9X’s non-commercial license.
And just as I was able to catch up to ZSNES and Snes9X before me in only a tiny fraction of the time, modern SNES emulators from 2018 onward have quickly been able to catch up to me.
The Super Nt was created in only nine months, and Mesen-S in only four months.
Research
As an example, Speedy Gonzales for the SNES was an infamous bug. For around 15 years, no emulator could figure out how to run this game. It would deadlock in the middle of stage 6-2 for seemingly no reason.
I spent approximately eighty hours of a two-week period reverse engineering the game, and trying to understand what was happening. It was actually pretty easy to get the game playable: there were several ways of getting around the problem area of code. But only one way was the right way. Implement any of the other ways would mean my emulator had two bugs instead of one. Potentially an incorrect fix would end up breaking a different game in the future.
And so the challenge was ruling out every other possibility through devising a comprehensive and exhausting set of tests, so that I could be sure I had it right.
I eventually reached this conclusion: the game was reading from an unmapped memory address, waiting for a bit to be set that never would be. But by sheer chance, after thousands of scanlines, an Hblank DMA transfer would fetch a value with said bit set, and if the cycles aligned just right, this value would remain on the bus, and the loop condition would terminate.
After this was discovered, I was able to provide the answer to other SNES emulator developers, who could then implement this behavior within a few seconds.
This is no different than all of the bugfixes I gleaned by reading through the old Snes9X changelogs and forum posts about problematic games.
Cheating?
I know it can seem like it, if you view emulation as taking a test and other emulators as having the answer key for the test. And by all means, if it is your ambition to learn how to reverse engineer hardware for the sake of it, you are most welcome to not study what was done before you.
But if your goal is preservation of the original hardware, then it is not in any way “cheating.” It is simply being practical and making use of the resources that are available to you.
We have limited time in this world, and the hardware we seek to preserve is not getting any younger, nor any more readily available. Eventually, it will not be possible to pick up working original hardware to analyze. That is already the case for some very old and rare systems, and even more modern ones have become prohibitively expensive and fragile, such as the Atari Jaguar CD.
There’s no need to reinvent the wheel: make use of what tools we have, and then strive to build an even better wheel. Any lingering guilt you have can easily be absolved once you give back to the community.
Closing
My hope is that the broader community can see emulation as team effort, and not as a competition. It isn’t about who did it first, or who did it best. It’s about making sure the works of video game studios can live on, and that our great-grandchildren can, if they so choose, look back and see how video gaming began.
No one in emulation is a god or a king. No one is more important than anyone else. We’re all in this together, collectively.
Again, you don’t have to rely on existing knowledge. You are welcome to forge your own path. But there should be no shame in standing on the shoulders of those who came before you.
Thank you for reading, I hope this will help some of you to get started. I look forward to seeing what you come up with one day soon. Good luck, and don’t forget, we’re here for you!
Sounds pretty chipper to me!
Actually, I can see now the earliest archive of that was 2019-10-01
https://web.archive.org/web/20200322151323/https://byuu.net/advice/shoulders-of-giants
So from being depressed and in decling health in 2014, he has bounced back to being fairly optimistic, and the fruits of his labours bare this out as well because he did a lot of great work between then and 2019 when he made that closing post on his website. He couldn't have been that fucking depressed in the interim to complete that body of work.
Or maybe he was. I've known alcoholics and I've know workaholics. Near was definitely the latter. Both use these modes for maladaptive coping mechanisms. Did he finally just crack? No pun intended. Egged on by a failed relationship and hormone fucking his body/brain metabolism in to a fucking right old 2 and 8?
One thing that stood out as well for me in this little detective session. He posts his face to his official twitter channel. Not the other one that is locked and is actually linked by ars technica so I assume it is genuine. But on his public and still available twitter, he posts the same shot as he sent to null: I just can't smile...
It would be interesting to know the timeline of when he posted that as opposed to when he sent the shot to Null, because it actually makes quite a difference to the credibility he has. I expect he only posted that after he saw Null posted his face, hence he knew he had nothing to lose. It would be more emotional blackmail and reverse propaganda for his cause.
This fucker knew what he was doing. Not a thing he did that was not calculated as far as his human debugging process/brain could carry it.
Who knows, the old fox might just have outsmarted us all.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9368343
People must not be aware this guy was using threat of suicide to try and manipulate and extort someone. They've been mislead by him and he knew they would be. The act in that sense deserves no sympathy. Otherwise I am somewhat sympathetic to suicide victims because I've dealt with MDD and all of that, but with the knowledge that such a thing is ultimately selfish and traumatizing to others. So over the years my sympathy has lessened while I've adopted the philosophy that life is never so bad to warrant it and would discourage anyone from doing it - especially someone like this with obvious God-given gifts - and instead suggest seeking inward and stop being so concerned with the world and the people in it, including yourself,
But like many today, he seemed to be perpetually online and addicted to attention. What else can be said about those who concoct wild identities and personas for themselves making themselves into less of an individual and more of a concept and series of labels and identifiers? They accuse others of dehumanizing them while dehumanizing themselves. Tragic, and stupid.
All this clearly didn't bring this guy happiness or more importantly peace, and as we can see from his emails he did not find this place evil and the source of his troubles. That is what I find so detestable, that he would do suicide or fake suicide knowing someone would take the blame for it and mislead the people who follow him and care about him by withholding information from them.
Reminds me of my buddy's ex that smeared him online and made him out to be abusive knowing it's not true, then coming around over time after having his baby and making him go through hell to "prove" he was fit to be a father. She manipulated her friends to hate him and have sympathy for her, basically, only to baffle them later when she suddenly started speaking to him again. Wonder if any of those friends are still around.
People need to wake up and realize when they're being bullshitted and not be baited by this emotional trickery.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9382832/SPOILER]
Amazing video by JuanButNotForgotten
But like many today, he seemed to be perpetually online and addicted to attention. What else can be said about those who concoct wild identities and personas for themselves making themselves into less of an individual and more of a concept and series of labels and identifiers? They accuse others of dehumanizing them while dehumanizing themselves. Tragic, and stupid.
All this clearly didn't bring this guy happiness or more importantly peace, and as we can see from his emails he did not find this place evil and the source of his troubles. That is what I find so detestable, that he would do suicide or fake suicide knowing someone would take the blame for it and mislead the people who follow him and care about him by withholding information from them.
Reminds me of my buddy's ex that smeared him online and made him out to be abusive knowing it's not true, then coming around over time after having his baby and making him go through hell to "prove" he was fit to be a father. She manipulated her friends to hate him and have sympathy for her, basically, only to baffle them later when she suddenly started speaking to him again. Wonder if any of those friends are still around.
People need to wake up and realize when they're being bullshitted and not be baited by this emotional trickery.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-great-twitter-meltdown-of-2021.93623/post-9382832/SPOILER]
The Post That Was Heard Round The World(Byuu confirmed not dead in Japan)
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